Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
A fter a busy weekend with various fun activities, Lacie awoke around 2am Monday morning, stomach grumbling and craving something cold like yoghurt or ice cream. She put on her slippers and walked quietly down the hallway, and with each footstep, a sound became clearer: sniffles, sobs, sighs. She approached the entrance to the kitchen and living area, and knew it was Ellie. Her crying sounded so fragile and innocent, reminding her of a little Ellie, around seven years of age.
Lacie gently tapped on the door frame as she made her way into the room. She peeked around, and Ellie was sitting on the couch, her face resting in her hands, dark brown hair falling to the sides of her shoulders that trembled with the vibration of her tears. ‘Ellie?’ She approached her sister and sat next to her.
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ Ellie sobbed and wiped at her eyes. ‘I didn’t want anyone to wake up.’
‘It’s okay, I was feeling a bit peckish. Looks like I came at the right time. What’s up?’ She placed a comforting hand on her sister’s back.
‘Nothing, don’t worry. You get your snack and get back to sleep, I’ll be fine.’
‘You don’t look fine. Talk to me, what’s on your mind?’ It made her heart ache to see her little sister like this.
‘It’s just…’ Ellie attempted an explanation. ‘Just…’ Her sobs intensified, and Lacie hoped her mother wouldn’t wake up, though her room was at the far end of the house upstairs.
‘Oh, Ell… it’s okay.’ Lacie wrapped her into an embrace. She let her cry to get out whatever needed to be released, until the sobs became short, sharp whimpers.
Ellie tucked her hair behind her ears, her side fringe falling back over her eyes. ‘I just feel so… down. I can’t seem to get out of it.’
Lacie rubbed her back. ‘Ever since Dad?’
She shrugged. ‘Guess so. But I dunno, it feels like it’s not only that.’
‘Oh?’
‘Life feels hard, that’s all. I’m studying, writing poetry, watching my friend’s band play their gigs, but it all just feels… flat.’
‘Hmm. Have you spoken to a counsellor? Remember how Mum went for grief counselling?’
‘Yeah, I went to her too back when it happened, but started feeling better, like I could get on with things. So I just… got on with things.’
‘What about a doctor? Or a naturopath? Maybe they can check if you’re deficient in anything or do some tests to see if you have any hormone imbalances?’
She shrugged again. ‘Maybe. But I did see a doctor a while ago when Mum made me go, for the insomnia. She told me to stick to a regular routine and get sunshine each morning, not use my phone at night. She gave me melatonin, and a sleeping tablet to use occasionally when really necessary. I think I’ll need one tonight to be able to get back to sleep.’
‘Oh.’ Lacie’s shoulders slumped. ‘I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. I wish I could stay longer to help a bit more.’
Ellie sniffled and it looked like she might begin crying again until she somehow straightened up and wiped her eyes, as though not willing to go through it all again.
‘Don’t say anything to Mum. I don’t want her to worry.’
Lacie nibbled her bottom lip. She hated the thought of Ellie suffering again once she’d gone back to Chicago. ‘But talk to her if you feel down again, okay? She’s a mum, it’s her job to be there for you and she won’t mind at all.’
‘Okay. I’ll be all right,’ she said. ‘I just need to get through my studies and feel like I’ve got a new purpose. I was going to try to get a job in a library or something when I graduate, maybe that will be good for me.’
‘Yes, for sure. Go for what you want and try to enjoy all aspects of life. You gave up your job in the shipping warehouse to start studying and find more meaning in life, so keep going. Keep learning, keep discovering. It’ll all work out.’ Lacie gestured to the kitchen. ‘I feel like ice cream. Want some?’ She smiled.
Ellie shrugged. ‘Maybe. Okay then.’
Lacie quietly opened the freezer and got out two bowls and spoons, scooping the Vanilla Dream into them. She added a couple of teaspoons of Milo powder onto the top. ‘Remember we used to mix it all up with Milo to make a chocolate and vanilla gooey mess?’
Ellie gave a faint hint of a smile and nodded.
‘Wanna do it again?’
She took the bowl Lacie gave her and nodded again, her smile restrained but nonetheless there.
Together they stirred and mashed the ice cream until it melted slightly into a thick, smooth goo of yummy goodness. Lacie spooned some into her mouth and sighed. ‘Oh my God, I forgot how good this was.’
Ellie did the same, quickly having another scoop.
They sat there with nothing but the sound of the spoons clanging against the ceramic bowls, and their ‘mmm’s after each and every mouthful.
‘Done. How good was that?’ Lacie stood to take the bowls to the sink.
‘Pretty damn good,’ Ellie said, and Lacie grinned.
When she returned to the couch she said to Ellie, ‘Hey, Penny and I are going for a pampering session tomorrow morning while Mum’s hiking with her walking group. We’re getting facials and stuff, wanna come? Do you have lectures?’
Ellie thought for a moment. ‘I’m not too good in the mornings, especially if I need the sleeping tablet tonight. Maybe I could meet you after for lunch or coffee?’
‘Sure, sounds perfect. Just get a good night’s sleep and everything will feel better in the morning.’
Ellie opened her mouth but nothing came out.
‘Ell?’
‘Do you think… could we maybe go and visit Dad’s grave?’
Lacie’s heart fluttered with emotion. She knew it might be a good idea to see her dad’s grave, having not been there since the funeral, but she wanted to leave it till the end of her holiday. Which was only three days away.
‘If that’s what you’d like to do, then yes, let’s go. We’ll take him some flowers, and… have a moment there.’
‘I think I need to. I wish I could talk to him one more time.’
‘Me too, sis, me too.’ Lacie slid an arm around her sister and sniffed. ‘Now, before I turn into a blubbering mess, let’s get some sleep, hey?’
‘Okay. Hopefully.’
When Lacie returned to her bed, it was her that had trouble sleeping. Thinking, worrying, planning, trying to solve the world’s problems and hers all in one night.
The alarm woke her, and she got up straight away, not wanting to miss her appointment with Penny at the day spa. It wasn’t often she was the one being pampered. She got up and stretched, noticing more and more a feeling of tightness in her lower abdomen, as though it was stretching by the minute, which it probably was, if only minutely. Thin streams of sunlight peeked through the sides of her curtains, and she pulled them aside to reveal a glorious day. She smiled, glanced around, enjoying the view of the garden. Something near the pot plant caught her eye, and she did a double take.
She opened the patio door, stepped out, and picked up the jar. It had two bright red bottlebrushes poking out of it, and a lone leaf of foliage. Some kitchen twine was wrapped around it, also securing a small gift tag.
Lacie,
Never stop believing in wishes.
Her heart smiled. It wasn’t signed but she knew it was from Nathan. She held it close to her and stood on her tiptoes, peering above the shrubs. Where was he?
The wrought-iron gate to her left, separating the garden from the adjacent guest cottage, creaked and Nathan walked through it, a broad hat shading his face, and hedge trimmers in his hand. He walked straight ahead until she sent him a sneaky wolf whistle, then covered her mouth as though to say ‘oops’. Was that inappropriate? Oh well, too late now. He stopped and looked her way, a big smile on his face.
She stepped off the patio onto the soft grass, still in her pyjamas but not caring one bit, feeling like if there was anyone she could be comfortable around at any time, it was him, for some reason.
He approached slowly. ‘That’s cute.’ He eyed the jar.
‘I wonder who it’s from?’ She fiddled with the twine. ‘Must be someone who knows how much a simple flower or two in a jar means to me.’ She stepped closer to him and lightly touched his arm. ‘Thanks, Nathan. It’s really special.’ Her cheeks became warm under the morning sun.
‘Just a spontaneous idea I had.’
‘Those spontaneous ideas are often the best.’
Their smiles grew. ‘So, what’s on the schedule for today? Any flower picking?’
She shook her head. ‘Nope, I am off to get pampered with my sister. Time to relax and get those endorphins flowing.’ She didn’t want to mention she’d also be visiting the cemetery. ‘I could get used to being on holiday.’
‘Enjoy! That reminds me, I must book in for a massage sometime, haven’t had one for ages. My muscles don’t know how to relax.’
She glanced briefly at the muscles on his forearms, tendons solid and strong pushing out from underneath the skin. She swallowed a lump in her throat. ‘Massages are the best. You must need one with all the physical work you do. That firepit alone must weigh a tonne!’
‘I’ll make a booking as soon as I’m done here for the day. You’ve motivated me. Thanks, Lacie.’
‘Anytime.’ Massage was a service she loved providing to clients, helping them relax and feel wonderful. A vision flashed in her mind of giving him a massage. She scratched her head. ‘Well, I better go get ready before Penny picks me up. It’s a beautiful day, enjoy the sunshine.’
‘I will. Living the dream, I am. I guess I’m kind of like a… nature beauty therapist.’
Lacie chuckled, then went back inside, twirling a strand of her hair, and placing the jar next to her bed, her cheeks feeling warmer than they had out in the sun.