Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
W hen a thin strip of light shining through the blinds woke Lacie ten minutes before her alarm on Friday morning, she took the extra time to lay in bed and reply to some messages, one from Penny asking for a baby bump progress photo ( later, sis, there’s not that much to see yet and I’m not yet out of bed ), one from Ellie with a picture of two books asking which one she should read next ( the romantic comedy, don’t overwhelm yourself anymore with anything too serious ), and her friend Rosie who wanted to know if Lacie was free for a girls’ night out on the weekend ( how about a girls’ day out? I need to buy maternity clothes! ).
She was about to get up and have a stretch when another message came in, and she instantly smiled in anticipation, knowing her virtual date with Nathan was tonight.
Morning! Just off to bed but looking forward to our breakfast/dinner. So, when I sent you the honey photos, I failed to send something else because I was too nervous, lol. So here it is, my first video on my new YouTube channel. Bee Kind… haha. P.S. Your mum gave me permission to film on the property, FYI xo
Lacie clicked on the link and pressed pause as soon as it started playing, so she could get herself some breakfast first and watch it while she ate to save time. When she sat at the table with her scrambled eggs and toast, she eagerly pressed play.
Nathan’s gorgeous smiling face appeared. ‘Hey, folks, welcome to my channel, Nature with Nathan,’ he said. ‘I’m looking forward to bringing you some tips and techniques on working with nature, and today I’m showing you how to do a honey harvest from a backyard beehive.’
Lacie grinned and rubbed her hands together in anticipation. She had no intention of learning beekeeping but every intention of subscribing to his channel and watching every video from start to finish. She watched as he scraped the honeycomb from the frames and slotted the frames into a large tub for the honey to ooze into, after which he let the honey drain like liquid gold through an inbuilt tap and into a jar. He had even added a cute video at the end of him eating honey on toast and saying, ‘Mmm, delicious.’ A memory jolted in her mind; it was just like her father used to say when he’d eat his honey on toast.
She clicked subscribe and replied to Nathan.
Brilliant! Can’t wait for your next video… what will the topic be? Hope you get lots of views. Have fun xx (oh and see you soon).
He replied immediately. So much for him going to sleep.
Phew! Now I can sleep knowing my only viewer and only subscriber (thanks btw) is happy with my content. Next topic I’m thinking… the top 5 best plants for coastal gardens.
Lacie replied sounds perfect and wondered if she should start a channel for make-up tutorials, but thought the market was probably saturated. And when would she have the time? She drank the rest of her orange juice along with her daily vitamins, put her plates in the dishwasher, then got ready for work.
‘Have fun, Lulu!’ Lacie said goodbye to her last client of the day after doing her make-up for her singing gig tonight, then packed up her things to head home. When she stepped through the door, she inhaled the warm, comforting scent of chicken casserole simmering away in the slow cooker, which she’d set up before leaving for work.
I wish he could be here to enjoy this with me , she thought, her stomach grumbling.
How long could they go on having dates via video instead of the real thing? And there could be no post-date kiss either. It was like they were stuck in romance limbo, hovering on the edge of satisfaction but never quite getting there.
Just enjoy it while it lasts, Lacie , she told herself.
Another hour and it’d be ready, and she could set the table and pretend it was a real date. She changed out of her work clothes and into her slinky dress which, being a shimmery black, was dark enough to hide her small baby bump unless she was visible from the side. She draped a long golden thread scarf around her neck which hung low on each side to her hips, sitting softly over her belly when she sat. A quartz pendant and an extra swipe of honey-coloured lipstick, not to mention her sweet as honey nails she’d done last night, completed the look. She took a selfie in front of the bathroom mirror, and as she giggled, a side-on view with her holding the base of her abdomen, for Penny’s eyes only.
She texted her sister along with the pic:
15 weeks
OMG! It’s starting to really grow. And where are you off to? You look fab.
A special dinner. Talk later, gotta go xx
Giggling with excitement, she set the table and lit two candles, and dimmed the overhead lights. She ladled the steaming casserole into a bowl, filled her glass with sparkling mineral water, and placed her phone in a stand in front of her so she could video chat and eat at the same time.
She waited till right on 7pm and was about to call Nathan, when he beat her to it.
‘Good morning! I mean evening,’ he said, and she laughed as he appeared on the screen.
‘Are you wearing a tie?’ She peered closer.
He nodded. ‘Indeed I am. I wasn’t sure I even owned one, but it’s amazing what you find when you rummage around for a while. Haven’t worn this since… I can’t remember, but I thought what better occasion to wear it than our date!’
‘I hardly recognised you, and a fancy shirt too, let me guess, it’s the only formal shirt you own?’
‘Correct. It’s good to have such things in case of emergencies, like this.’
She laughed. ‘You better hope no one knocks at your door. A spring morning in Tarrin’s Bay and the local gardener and lifeguard is dressed to the nines.’
He stood and showed off the fact he hadn’t completed the outfit and was only wearing casual shorts on his bottom half. ‘Sorry I couldn’t find anything else, but at least my top half is dressed up.’
Lacie shook her head with a giggle. ‘You are so entertaining,’ she said.
‘Enough about me, you look amazing and… sparkly! Go on, stand up and show me the whole look. Let me guess, pyjamas on the bottom half?’
She giggled and said, ‘No,’ while her heart rate rose a notch and she hesitated. ‘Oh man, I only just sat down after a long day!’ She fanned her face for effect.
‘C’mon, I showed you my fancy pants, I’m sure you look much posher than me.’
Reluctantly, she stood, making sure to position her long flowing scarf in front of her body, gave a quick ‘ta-da!’ then sat back down again. ‘I am in bare feet though,’ she confessed.
He didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, as he simply gave an appreciative wolf whistle. Had she been further along it may have been a different story, but she would tell him anyway before she got to that point.
‘Oh, and my sweet as honey nails!’ She tried to hide her blushes by wiggling her fingers in front of her.
‘Sweet,’ he said. ‘And is that quartz?’ He patted his throat.
She nodded, fiddling with her pendant.
‘I found some natural quartz once, in the rocks along a secluded beach. Another amazing natural phenomenon.’
‘Cool. You know what else is amazing? The dinner I made, if I do say so myself.’
‘Oh, please show me. Then I’ll show you mine.’ He cleared his throat. ‘My breakfast, I mean.’
Lacie picked up the phone and turned the camera view around to face the table. ‘A hearty chicken casserole, complete with carrots, potato, broccoli, with a hint of garlic and thyme. I can tell this is going to be absolutely delicious, my mouth is watering at the sight of it,’ she said in a British accent. ‘Do I sound like Nigella?’
Nathan gave a laugh. ‘Impressive. And sexy.’
‘Why, thank you, I am absolutely delighted to receive your compliment.’ She continued speaking in the accent.
‘Is that a white wine accompanying your dinner?’ Nathan asked.
She moved the camera to her glass. ‘Oh no, this is simply the finest sparkling water in Chicago. What is your beverage of choice for this fine day?’
She turned the camera to face her and smiled.
‘I am having the finest orange juice in all of Tarrin’s Bay.’ He showed her his glass of juice, then moved the view to his plate. ‘And on the menu we have a mushroom and cheese omelette, fried tomatoes, potato rosti, and… a banana. The only fruit I had. I have to do some shopping today.’
‘Is that a cornflower?’ She noticed the single blue flower protruding from a jam jar on his table. ‘Did you pluck it from Mum’s garden?’
‘Of course not, after I planted some at your mum’s, I had some spare seeds and planted them in mine too.’
‘Nice. I like what they symbolise too.’
‘Hope, nature’s beauty, and love,’ he said.
‘Oh you already know, I love that.’ She smiled. ‘Apparently they also used to be worn by young men looking for love.’
‘Oh really? I, ah, wasn’t aware of that.’
‘Flower symbolism is a fun thing to learn.’
‘I only know the basics. Mostly, I just like the blue colour of the cornflowers.’
‘They are beautiful, like a clear summer sky.’
He smiled, and took hold of his knife and fork. ‘Shall we?’
Lacie picked up her spoon. ‘Hell yes. I am starving.’
Nathan laughed, and after swallowing a mouthful of food, said, ‘I love how you can be talking about the beauty of a summer sky one minute, and exclaiming “hell yes” the next.’
‘Haha, I love that you love that.’ She ate a spoonful and sighed. ‘Oh, this is just as I knew it would be, absolutely delicious. I wish you could taste it.’
‘Me too. I bet it beats a boring old omelette.’
‘Oh I’d love to taste your omelette too.’
‘Actually, it is pretty damn good, I must say.’
They smiled at each other and continued eating and exchanging small talk. When her meal was almost finished, Lacie asked, ‘Have you ever had a date like this before?’
‘It’s been a long time since I’ve had a special date, let alone one as special as this.’
‘Really?’ Although Lacie knew why Nathan preferred to spend a lot of time on his own, having grown up needing to be independent, she couldn’t understand why women weren’t lining up to date him. Or maybe they were and he wasn’t interested.
‘I haven’t been interested in dating for a while. Although I am definitely enjoying “hanging out” with you.’ He made quotation marks with his fingers.
‘No ex-wife or kids?’
Nathan glanced away for a moment. ‘Not exactly.’ He returned his gaze to her. ‘I was in a serious relationship, I thought it might lead to that – marriage and kids – but my thoughts proved wrong.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. I’m not. Not now. But she did hurt me, so I guess it’s taken me a while to even consider getting out there again. To trust again.’
Curiosity twisted inside her mind like a spreading vine. ‘You’re such a resilient person. It must’ve been a big deal then.’
‘I am resilient, that’s true. And I’ve learned to be even more resilient now. Life can often throw unexpected things our way, so I try not to expect anything and just go with the flow.’
The vine continued to spread and twist. ‘May I be rude and ask, how did she hurt you?’
Nathan rubbed at the stubble on his jawline.
‘It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me anything.’
‘No, no, it’s fine. It’s probably good to get it out, I never really talked to anyone about it, just kind of repressed it and moved on. Took out my hurt on many a garden weed.’
‘Except lantana?’
‘Except lantana, yes.’ He smiled. ‘So basically, we – me and Tess – were getting serious. We started talking about the future, which is not something my go with the flow personality was used to, but I found myself getting excited. It was interrupted by some stress in her family life; she had a falling out with her mother, and her brother sided with her mother, so she felt alone. For some reason, she started pushing me away… snapping at the slightest thing, spending more time on her own. As though she didn’t want to risk losing me too, maybe she thought it would be easier to not get any closer. Anyway, she took off for a week to have some time out, and came back all refreshed, ready to continue where we left off.’
Lacie narrowed her eyes. ‘Hmm, it sounds like this was not as happy an ending as it seems?’
He shook his head. ‘A few weeks later, she surprised me with the news that she was pregnant.’
Lacie’s stomach flip-flopped. ‘Did… something go wrong?’ She gulped.
‘No, she had a perfectly healthy baby boy. But throughout most of the pregnancy, I thought the baby was mine.’
Lacie’s mouth fell open. ‘He wasn’t yours?’
Nathan shook his head and lowered his gaze, his eyes solemn and distant. ‘I went from surprised, to excited, to devastated. She just blurted it all out one day, the truth. That when she’d been going through that stress, she reconnected with an ex briefly, then felt guilty and realised she’d made a mistake and came back home to me, found out she was pregnant, did the maths and realised it couldn’t be mine, but pretended it was so we could stay together. For a couple of weeks before she told me, she’d been distant again – that’s what she does when things get on top of her. At seven months pregnant the guilt got too much and she not only told me the fact, but that she was leaving to be with her ex, the father of her baby, to try and make it work.’
‘Holy moly.’ Lacie’s heart felt crushed on his behalf.
‘So,’ he said, sculling the last of the juice, ‘I not only lost the relationship, but the idea of being a father. I’d somehow lost something I didn’t even really have yet. It’s a strange and uncomfortable kind of grief.’
‘Nathan, that’s awful. I’m sorry you went through that.’
‘I asked for a photo when he was born, out of curiosity. The little fella looked just like his dad: dark hair and long nose. I think I would have known he wasn’t mine even if she hadn’t told me.’ He released a long exhale. ‘I had been getting used to the idea of being a father, you know? Getting excited, thinking of names, and telling people.’ He shook his head in defeat. ‘And then that happened. I’ve never been able to get close to anyone else since.’
‘Thank you for telling me all that. No wonder. It wasn’t just a relationship, but a whole potential future you lost. That’s a lot to deal with.’
‘Thanks for your compassion.’ He looked her in the eye. ‘You’re really the closest I’ve come to… getting close with anyone. For some reason when I’m with you, in person or virtually, words just sort of topple out of my mouth!’
Lacie smiled. ‘I’m glad you feel comfortable with me. I do too, with you.’
An uncomfortable, unsettling sensation twisted inside her to replace the curiosity. Maybe it was time to–
‘Lace… I feel like I’ve known you my whole life,’ he said, interrupting her chain of thought.
Me too. Her breath caught high in her throat.
‘Crazy huh, how you can know someone for years but never really know them, and yet you can meet someone new and feel like you know them instantly.’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Like a… soul connection, or something. It’s like with animals, they know their own kind, they don’t have to talk or get to know each other, they just know.’
‘True. Although I do love talking and getting to know you.’
‘Ditto.’
‘And what do you know about me so far?’ Lacie resumed a lighter, chattier, flirtier tone, the seriousness of the recent discussion having tensed her muscles and they desperately needed relief.
‘You help people with scars and disabilities feel beautiful inside and out. You almost became a florist, and you know all about flower symbolism.’ He took the cornflower from its vase and popped it into his shirt pocket. He cleared his throat and continued. ‘You have a wonderful family, you used to work in Hollywood, you dated Xavier Black, you love putting flowers in jam jars, and, and…’
‘And my favourite movie is?’
‘Your favourite movie is… the, um, Potato Literary Peel Society Gurney Pie Club thing.’
Laughter burst out of Lacie’s mouth. ‘Close!’ She laughed again. ‘Actually, not close, but points for trying. It’s The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. ’
Nathan pointed at the screen. ‘That’s it! It was on the tip of my tongue.’
‘More like the words toppled off the tip of your tongue and got all twisted up!’
He laughed, and his whole face lit up with a natural glow.
This is what she loved and didn’t want to lose. This pure, easy, effortless and fun connection with him. Her heart was swelling with emotions she didn’t expect, and also things she hadn’t expressed.
‘So, Lace, how long till you visit Australia again?’ He leaned closer to the screen.
‘Not for quite a while,’ she said softly, not knowing if she’d even be able to make next year’s reunion, or if her family would visit her like her mother had suggested.
‘Hmm. Maybe…’ He glanced upwards.
‘Maybe what?’ She leaned closer.
He waved his hand. ‘Ah, nothing. So, what’s on for the weekend?’
Lacie lowered her head, and one hand gently touched the small mound on her belly. ‘Nath, I need to… I should…’ Why were the words so hard to say? ‘Maybe we should talk about… this, us, and the finer details of… this, and us, and…’
Starting with… I’m pregnant.
Nathan held up his hand, palm facing her. ‘Stop right there. I know that this, us , is… unconventional to say the least, and uncertain, but let’s just keep enjoying this, whatever this is, the way it is, which is absolutely awesome and something I look forward to every day. I don’t want to change anything about what we have, I mean, I know we’re in different countries, and therefore the future is uncertain, but right now it feels great, doesn’t it?’
She gave a small nod.
‘Let’s not get bogged down with the details and the what ifs and the shoulds and all the serious stuff, let’s make the most of every moment, go with the flow, and live in the present. One thing nature’s taught me is that beauty can be fleeting. One day there’s a rose bud, next day it’s in full bloom, and then it’s gone. Let’s enjoy the flowers while they’re blooming,’ he said. ‘I would have said that with a David impersonation but it didn’t seem appropriate!’
Lacie smiled. He always knew how to explain things, make things seem simpler than her mind made them out to be. Their connection certainly was blooming, and why did he have to say exactly what she wanted just when she was about to tell him? She wanted to go with the flow too, she wanted to marvel in the beauty of their connection while it was here, no serious stuff to get in the way.
‘I am really enjoying the flowers,’ she said, twirling a strand of hair.
‘Whatever flower is blooming right now, with us, it’s my new favourite.’
Lacie widened her eyes. ‘Even better than lantana?’
‘Ten times better.’
Her heart fluttered. That was it then. She would stick to her original plan of waiting till the twenty-week scan to tell him how her life was about to change big time, and therefore anyone else’s she was close to. They both wanted the same thing, to simply enjoy each other’s virtual company with no rules or expectations. At least for now.
‘It’s been a lovely date, thank you,’ she said.
‘It sure has. The meal was delicious too.’ He winked.
‘Indeed. Well, your day awaits and my night awaits.’
‘Goodnight, Lace.’ Nathan blew a kiss her way.
Lacie caught the virtual kiss in her hand, enclosing it with her curled fingers, and smiled as she held it to her heart. ‘Goodnight, Nath.’ She then blew a kiss of her own too, aiming it at the blue cornflower in his pocket.