Chapter 54 Allie
FIFTY-FOUR
ALLIE
SHITTASTER
I closed the door on Levi and us. Clearly, he had Brazilian bombshells around every corner awaiting his return and that’s where he belonged.
I just needed to pull my shit together and for him to stop popping up around every corner just wanting sex.
My heart whispered that he needed to be gone.
While she was leaning towards a permanent solution to the problem certain we could get away with it, I just wanted anything that would just keep him away from me until I was wheels up on a plane.
A temporary solution was what I needed to conger up.
All Levi pings and pangs I’d file into my “fuck this” and “fuck that” drawer when I got home.
I needed to find a cluster fuck fixer. A superhero who’s an expert and can unfuck any situation in a single bound. A calm genius who is levelheaded and would help me give zero fucks about the womanizing man in the house.
I suddenly regretted holding in one fart for the mother trucker.
I realized this whole thing was making my arm pits sticky, gross, so I swapped out my tee for another and pulled my burgundy cardigan over it.
Then Taylor’s Cardigan lyrics ran through me and a few tears escaped.
The man I knew long ago was gone.
I reapplied my mascara and curled my eye lashes swearing this was it. I was a tough chick and had gotten over Levi once before, and I could do it again.
A knock at the door brought on a prickling sensation to the back of my neck. I inhaled deeply knowing I had to keep the dumbfuckery to a minimum today and use the mediocre brain God gave me, although I was fairly certain at this point, he would consider letting me exchange mine for a new one.
“It’s Kristina, can I come in?”
I opened the door. “Hey.”
She examined my face. “How are you?”
“Well, I spun the wheel of attitude this morning. It landed on bitch.”
She walked in and sat on the bed. “Yeah, I noticed that a little at breakfast. I wanted to check on you.”
I stood in front of her running out of places to look.
“I’m here if you need to talk. You know I’m loyal and anything said stays in this room.”
I nodded and sat next to her. “I kind of just don’t want to talk about it. I want to forget about it. Everything.”
“I see. That could be what you do. But if you need to talk, I’m here, okay?”
I took a breath. “I told you we were close while here, and then we would move forward and never look back.”
“I think I heard Dr. Phil talk about closure once.”
Gasp. “You heard that too? It’s bullshit, closure does nothing but add some confusion into the recipe of a shittaster.” I forced out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
She nodded. “I don’t wish death on anyone, just diarrhea while stuck in traffic for Levi. With many sneezes.”
“I hate him.”
“I want to make this better for you, Allie.”
I dropped my head back. “I just want to go home. Be in my bitch cave, where I can take off my stupid damn bra, wear jammies, consume all the alcohol, and have no shitty fucking assholes around.”
Her shoulder nudged mine. “Oooh, a bitch cave. I want one.” She took my hand in hers. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. Twice. Someone treating you like this is all the closure you need. What can I do to help?”
“Well, he keeps showing up everywhere and wants to kiss and say words that melt me. I just need something that will keep him away.”
“Oooh, you could act like you’re into Clint. I know you’ve been avoiding him, but just pretend, while in Colorado, and you can deal with all that once you’re out of here.”
“Yeah. I can do that. I’ve been in here praying for a superhero, and it looks like that might be you.”
Her hand went over her heart. “Yes, I want to be the superhero! I’ll help you and my power could be, uh, the filler. I’ll fill you with ideas to get rid of evil Levi and other stuff. Yeah, if you have an empty wallet, boom, it’s filled with cash. Cup empty, boom, it’s full.”
“I love that.”
Her gasp nearly sucked the curtains from the window. “Do you know what I just realized? Levi and evil are made of the same damn letters.”
My eyes locked with hers. “I am stunned I haven’t put this together before. There it is, the universe was trying to warn me from day one, and I missed it.”