Chapter 14
‘Christ almighty, what the frig is going on?’ Big Mand demands. ‘Why am I just hearing about these rules now? And what’s Birdie doing here?’
‘We didn’t think she’d be here, did we?’ Cherry says to Tash. ‘Otherwise, I would definitely have left Dom at home with the kids.’
‘For Christmas?’ Dom asks, looking hurt, a disbelieving tone in his voice. ‘You’d have really left me alone for Christmas?’
‘No. I’d have left you at home with your children.
Why do I need to remind you every single day that you have two kids?
’ Cherry is really letting off steam. ‘And don’t think weeping into your pillow night after night will work next time I go away.
Just because I’m your wife and we share two adorable children doesn’t mean I don’t need my own space or identity. ’
Dom tuts. ‘How many times do I have to say I’m sorry before you forgive me?’
‘I’m not sure I can forgive you. The damage has already been done. This is the consequence of your actions so don’t put all the pressure on me to be able to cope with how you behaved.’
Dom visibly swallows. Discussion closed.
Tash and Sister Kevin inhale deeply on their vapes, emitting a burst of sickly-sweet vapour into the atmosphere. He turns to her. ‘It’s very stressful-looking, all this marriage and kids business, isn’t it?’
Tash responds by taking a long, furious drag on her vape. ‘Is it?’
I can’t be the only one desperate to know what Dom did that was so hideous. I trade glances with Big Sue. She’ll get to the bottom of it.
‘Show’s over, you lot. As you were,’ Cherry barks, just as Big Sue opens her mouth to ask.
‘Ged, honey,’ asks Liberty, trying to lighten the mood. ‘What’s in the bag? I just saw it move again.’
‘Nothing!’ shrieks Liam, standing in front of him.
Big Sue is already charging towards them like an off-duty black-ops officer. ‘I’ll be the judge of that, boys. We need the full picture here otherwise we don’t know what we’re dealing with, do we? We can’t help you if you don’t disclose what’s in the bag. Hamster, is it?’
‘There are worse kinks,’ cackles Big Mand when Ged and Liam look simultaneously aghast.
‘Of course it’s not a hamster,’ says Ged defensively.
We watch as he checks there are no staff around before making a shushing motion.
He puts a finger to his lips before carefully untying the rucksack.
Liam puts his hands in and gently lifts out Louis, wrapped in a cosy baby blanket and sucking hard on Peaches’ dummy.
There’s a collective whisper of ‘aahs’ and ‘so cutes’ as everyone instinctively gathers around.
‘Meet our newborn.’
‘Emergency C-section?’ asks Big Mand, smirking.
‘We found him under our bed,’ whispers Liam. ‘His name’s Louis.’
‘He’s adorable,’ says Cherry, shifting Peaches to her other hip. ‘Wait. Isn’t that my…?’
‘Sorry,’ says Ged. ‘We had to borrow a couple of things. We’ll buy Peaches a new blanket and dummy while we’re in Nice. I hope that’s okay?’
Peaches reaches out to poke Louis in the eye and giggles when he moves out of the way. ‘Mee-mee,’ she says, grabbing the dummy and putting it straight into her mouth. We all recoil. Urgh. Then Peaches studies Louis and his sad eyes and promptly gives him it back. ‘Mee-mee.’
‘Aw, they’re bonding. So cute,’ says Liam, suddenly putting on that twee voice new parents do. ‘Peaches, you are so kind. Yes, you are. Lovely Peaches. Say hello to Louis. Can you say “Hello, Louis”?’
‘I’m not one to shit all over a lovely moment like this,’ booms Big Mand. ‘But, A, shouldn’t we get going before Birdie comes back and discovers the puppy? And, B, I hope that dog has had its jabs otherwise him and Peaches are passing all manner of germs to each other.’
Right on cue, Peaches leans towards Louis, nose to nose, plucks her dummy from his lips and sucks noisily on it.
We all seem to be frozen with horror and, before she shoves it back into Louis’s mouth, she frowns.
‘My bum’s itchy,’ she confides. Louis licks her whole face in response and, giggling, she pushes the dummy back in his mouth.
Liam gulps, stepping away from Cherry and Peaches, who is holding out her arms to reach Louis. ‘Right. You’re right. Let’s get a move on. Do you want the dummy back, honey?’
Peaches shakes her head.
‘We’ll go buy her a new one,’ says Dom. ‘You keep that one, mate.’
‘Nobody is going anywhere until we hide the Lovington,’ booms Tash. ‘We’ve come too far to fall at the last hurdle. We can’t give up now.’
Makes not a pick of sense.
‘Leave it to me,’ says Big Sue, tapping the side of her nose. ‘I know just where to hide them.’ She orders Ged, Sister Kevin, Dom and Nacho to give her a hand while we keep a look out in the hallway for the staff or Birdie and Matteo returning.
I quickly text Matteo to say that there is a mass exodus to Nice once we’ve hidden the crates of booze. Does he want me to wait or to go with the others?
I wait for a reply while there’s a scramble outside and I see everyone piling into the waiting taxis. Finally, just before the last taxi leaves, Matteo texts telling me that he’ll catch me up in Nice. I bolt outside and jump in the taxi with Liberty and Nacho.
‘No Matteo?’ she asks.
I shake my head.
‘He is in trouble with Birdie,’ says Nacho. ‘Big surprise.’
I nod. ‘Did he catch up with you to explain the whole…’ I flick my finger back and forth between him and Liberty. ‘The whole misunderstanding?’
Nacho frowns. ‘No.’
Ah.
‘Shame. He wants to explain why he has been a bit off.’
Nacho raises his eyebrows and huffs loudly. ‘Claro. My brother does whatever my brother wants. He doesn’t care about others.’
I gawp at him. Matteo really needs to have a heart-to-heart with him sooner rather than later.
‘Phew. What a day. I’m bloody exhausted already,’ says Liberty, chuckling.
She seems oblivious to the slight bitter undertone of Nacho’s response.
‘Talk about unnecessary drama.’ She ticks a list off her fingers.
‘Birdie turning up. Tash and her constant vaping and filming content for Lovington. Who knew Birdie’s family and Lovington were arch-enemies?
Typical. And then there’s Cherry smuggling her kids in without telling us.
Big Sue having an unscheduled gender crisis.
Mandeep lying about the skinny jabs. Ged and Liam adopting a random puppy. I mean, what bloody next?’
‘I think all of the Dollz love the drama,’ says Nacho. ‘We have a phrase in Spanish that certain girls are addicted to the chaos. They have forgotten how to live without the excitement.’
Liberty chuckles. ‘Well, so far so true. I mean, take Vegas. What a wild ride that was.’
I half smile to myself. ‘It was the best week of my entire life.’ I notice Nacho’s face falling. ‘Sorry, Nacho. We would have invited you along if we’d known what was going to happen.’
And for the first time since I’ve known him (admittedly not long), Nacho grows serious, upset even.
‘My brother… my only brother got married without me. I should have been there as his best man.’ He looks to the floor as the atmosphere in the taxi changes suddenly.
He is genuinely upset. His voice cracks and, when he looks back up at me, his voice sounds heated.
Understandably. ‘I will never get the opportunity now. It is a big life dream that is no longer available for me.’
‘I’m sorry, Nacho. Did Matteo explain that we got married by accident, initially? That it was a paperwork issue?’
Like that would make any difference to him.
He nods firmly. ‘Of course. But then you chose to get married properly, didn’t you?
In Vegas. Without his family. Me, his best man.
His mother, who I think will never recover from this.
She is very, very angry. The whole family has been shocked.
’ Words are pouring out of him. It’s the most I’ve heard him speak, ever.
‘Why do you think she is organising a second wedding? It is so that we can all finally be part of something that we should have had the opportunity to do in the first place. Just like the first time he was supposed to get married to Alex. We still have the outfits.’
Nacho is referring to Matteo’s cancelled wedding in Benidorm when he found out a week beforehand that Alex, his bride-to-be, was cheating on him. It’s not somewhere I want this conversation to go. I home in on what Nacho has just revealed about their mother’s plans.
‘Second wedding? I don’t understand. What do you mean, second wedding?’
‘Matteo has not told you?’
I shake my head.
Nacho huffs as though this situation keeps getting worse and worse. ‘The town hall. The whole family flying in from every corner of the world. The mayor. Our priest. The wedding invitations? Matteo has not mentioned this?’
No, Matteo has certainly not friggin’ mentioned this. My jaw drops to the floor. ‘How can Matteo organise a second wedding and not tell me?’
‘Technically it would be your third wedding, hun,’ says Liberty. ‘And what’s the big deal, anyway? It’s just another ceremony to keep the family happy. You’ve still got the dress, haven’t you? You could invite your dad this time round too.’
‘I left the dress with Matteo. He took it to LA with some of my stuff.’ What she’s saying seems plausible but still… Matteo should have said something.
Nacho is staring at me. ‘You did not know? Any of it?’
I swallow hard. ‘How angry is your mother?’ This is very important to me. Getting married in Vegas without my dad there was bad enough, but I can’t imagine having done the same if my mother had been alive.
‘She is Catholic. Getting married is very important. Showing off her first son is even more important. Also…’ Nacho looks out of the taxi window. ‘She thinks it is too soon after the first wedding to Alex. She thinks all of this is your fault and you have tricked Matteo into marriage.’
‘What?’ I lean over to pull his arm round so that he has to face me. ‘But that’s not true! I would never do that. Never!’
He gives me a forlorn shrug. ‘That’s just what she thinks.’
‘Fucking hell, pet. And when are you going to meet them all?’ Liberty asks.
I wail, ‘We fly out to Spain straight after Boxing Day!’
‘Christ. What a shitshow. There’ll be a lynch mob waiting at the airport, by the sounds of things.’
‘Not helping, Libs,’ I say tightly. My heart is racing and not in a good way.
Fear is swirling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of all of Matteo’s family hating me and thinking I’m some sort of gold-digging charlatan chasing him down the aisle.
‘Nacho, you must explain to your family that it was all a genuine mistake.’
‘That’s not for me to do. This is for my brother. Leave me out of it.’ Nacho faces away from me to stare out of the window at the passing coastline, glittering in the winter sun, trees lining the roadside as Nice comes into view.
How could Matteo not tell me the truth about what is going on with his family?
We spend the rest of the journey in silence, Liberty and me exchanging worried glances.
Nacho has always seemed a happy-go-lucky guy, never taking life too seriously and, now I come to think about it, his command of the English language has certainly improved a few notches with the stress.
I’m genuinely sad that I’ve upset him like this.
It’s obvious he looks up to Matteo and feels very left out.
‘I’m sorry, Nacho. I really am,’ I tell him as the taxi pulls up to the pavement where the rest of the Dollz, Dom and the kids, Ged, Liam and Sister Kevin are all waiting for us.
‘I’ll keep him company,’ Liberty murmurs in my ear. ‘I’ll try and convince him to come round.’
‘Thank you.’ I feel so deflated.
Liam loops an arm through mine. ‘We’ll take Louis to the vets. Connie, hun, you speak a bit of the lingo, don’t you? Can you come with us?’
‘We’ll meet you all back here in a few hours,’ Ged says.
‘Fine by us,’ says Big Sue. ‘We’ll do a bit of Christmas shopping around the markets with Cherry and the kids.’
‘We’ll see you guys later. Good luck at the vets,’ Big Mand says as we wave them off.
Tash and Sister Kevin stroll off arm in arm.
Cherry and Dom swing Clementine between them.
At least they’re together, even if they aren’t speaking to one another.
Big Sue has Peaches clamped to her hip and Big Mand takes her other hand. Liberty pulls Nacho along behind them.
‘Come on, guys. The appointment is in ten minutes. We’re going to be late if we don’t hurry,’ Liam says.
‘Matteo will be here any second. I promise,’ I reply.
‘We don’t have time, hun,’ Liam pleads.
My phone pings. It’s Matteo. Thank goodness. He must be en route.
Sorry. Not going to make it. See you later back at the chateau.