Chapter 18
Both girls promptly burst into tears. As Cherry takes one child and Big Mand takes the other, they tut loudly at Dom and Sister Kevin. This clearly demonstrates their point.
‘What sort of child eats a pair of wedding rings, for God’s sake?’ Liam wails.
‘I’m sure they didn’t do it on purpose,’ says Cherry defensively. ‘Clem? Did you swallow Ged and Liam’s wedding rings?’
Clementine shakes her head, tears spilling down her cheeks.
‘Must’ve been this little one, then.’ Big Mand nods to Peaches trembling in her arms. ‘Don’t panic, you guys. You’ll just have to wait until they come out the other end,’ she says matter-of-factly, as though this sort of thing happens every day. ‘Gut transit time, we call it.’
‘How long is this gut transit time?’ Liam gasps. ‘We’re getting married tomorrow.’
Cherry shrugs. ‘Depends what she’s had to eat.’
Big Mand backs her up. ‘Hmmm. From ingestion to elimination, you’re talking an average of thirty-three hours. Sometimes less, sometimes more.’
‘Those Greggs can take at least a day to come through. Sometimes two days. She swallowed her doll’s shoe once. Didn’t see it for a week,’ says Cherry.
‘Oh, God,’ says Ged, dragging a hand across his forehead. ‘I knew something like this would happen. Typical. First, Birdie turns up like a bad omen, and now the rings are missing.’
‘I’m not sure you should be connecting those dots,’ I say in as soothing a voice as I can manage over the wailing children. ‘And how did they even get access to the wedding rings? Aren’t they securely stashed in the room safe?’
Ged purses his lips and directs a glare at Liam. ‘Yes. You’d think they would be, wouldn’t you?’
‘Excuse me for trying to entertain the children with a magic trick while you’re busy scrolling!’ replies Liam.
‘I was busy checking my family have arrived safely at the hotel. Not scrolling.’
‘I’m glad someone had time to check on their family. Mine have come all the way from Australia and I’ve not had two minutes to even send a text.’
As they bicker, the girls begin to settle. I try not to make a big deal of Peaches licking Big Mand’s cheek and breathing quickly, almost like she’s panting, as she brings her tiny fists up to her chin like paws.
‘It’s Dom’s fault,’ says Cherry briskly. ‘He shouldn’t have asked you to look after the girls while you’re far too busy and clearly not up to it. He should have warned you that if it’s not nailed down, they will put it in their mouths.’
Silence.
Dom will not be winning any Father of the Year awards any time soon. Big Mand hands over Peaches and I watch them go.
‘They’re not the best advert for married life, are they?’ Ged blows out his cheeks.
‘I think there’s something going on that we don’t know about,’ Big Mand explains. ‘She’ll tell us in her own time.’
‘Right. What’s next on the list?’ I say, desperate to improve the vibe. ‘Do you guys need help setting up the chapel?’
Liam sniffs. ‘Yes, please.’
Also, I need to hide the vase again in case someone finds it.
We wind our way around the rose beds and trudge over the grass towards the chapel at the far end of the ornate gardens. The butler is coming out of the church doors with a mop and bucket shaking his head, bewildered.
Liam crumbles instantly. ‘Oh God. What now? Bad luck comes in threes, doesn’t it?’
‘The missing vase,’ the butler says, scratching his head.
‘It is broken in many pieces. How did it get in the chapel?’ He stops to look back over his shoulder.
‘The vase is priceless family heirloom.’ He points to the elegant white wooden chairs piled high just outside the front entrance.
‘I will call police while you set up the chairs.’
‘A broken vase, you say?’ Liam looks ready to faint as his hand flies to his throat.
Fuckety fucking fuck.
‘Is there a problem?’
I spin round to see Birdie advancing on us. Matteo is at her side. I blink in surprise. What is he doing with her? Did they breakfast together? He hasn’t even texted me back to explain where he has been all morning. Or to find out where I’ve been.
Our eyes meet.
His are dark and unreadable.
He scans the group, listening to Birdie as she speaks French to the butler, who holds up the bucketful of broken antique vase pieces and indicates the chapel, before heading back to the chateau. Birdie screws her eyes at Liam, who visibly wilts. ‘What the fuck is going on here?’
‘I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation,’ says Matteo, reading the room.
A look of disdain crosses Birdie’s face as she leans in closely to Matteo to whisper something in his ear.
One hand rests on his shoulder, the other lightly cups his cheek.
Regardless of the potential millions at stake, it’s inappropriately intimate considering his wife is standing right in front of her.
He nods briskly before she swivels and marches away.
‘She has business to take care of,’ Matteo tells us.
‘Really? Is she about to have us all arrested? Or are we merely going to be “sued into the ground” by her legal team for accidental breakages? And that limp didn’t last long, did it?
’ I’m doing air quotes and I sound very catty but I’m tired and still annoyed at my husband for disappearing this morning.
And for allowing Birdie to be so tactile when they are supposed to be behaving like business associates and not overly friendly exes. Vase or no priceless frigging vase.
Matteo lifts his solid gaze to mine.
I’m not sure what I can say that won’t make me sound jealous or ungrateful.
I take a beat. We are here, after all, as Birdie’s guests.
Paying guests, albeit with a hefty discount.
She very much saved the day. It was here or a JD Wetherspoons.
And we have broken a precious family heirloom.
And possibly given the family nemesis all the ammunition they need to keep the Lovington feud going into the next millennium. I must remember that.
‘She’s going to stop the butler from calling the police, the insurance company or worse… her family.’
Oh.
‘She’s also arranging for the cleaning of the carpet in Cherry’s room,’ he says briskly, counting off an imaginary list on his fingers.
‘Seeing the chef about the addition of a children’s menu and she’s asking them to order in some dog food for the new arrival that she is allowing to stay as a thank you to Ged and Liam for including her in the wedding festivities.
That’s where I have been all morning. Talking her round. ’
Ah. That’s us all told then.
Matteo and I barely see each other again until lunch.
Once we meet again in the dining room, we smile politely at one another, but there’s a huge mound of unspoken beef between us.
It feels very strange because so far, our relationship has consisted of nothing but internal fireworks, tweeting birdsong and sparkles.
Our lust for one another is powerful, unpredictable and unwieldy and has often overruled our heads.
Our love for one another is different. It’s new and fragile and must be treated with care.
In other words, I must stop throwing obstacles in our path.
‘Thank you,’ I say. ‘For earlier. For smoothing things over with Birdie. I’m sorry we’ve been so much trouble.’
‘I’m sorry I’ve not been around much,’ he says quietly, sounding strained. I detect an edge to his voice.
His words squeeze at my heart. ‘Me too.’ I’m desperate for him to know I’m okay with him doing his best to prevent Birdie from throwing us all out and that I’m trying my best to understand why he didn’t tell me about his mother’s crazy wedding plans.
He breathes in deeply. ‘Nacho isn’t taking the sudden appearance of Eddie too well.’ His half-smile lifts my spirits. A warmth spreads throughout my bones. He’s deliberately avoiding the subject but at least we’re talking.
‘I guess his ego might be bruised. But I’m glad he’s confiding in you.’
Matteo nods. ‘I think he has a lot going on. I’ve always assumed he was quite shallow where women were concerned but I think he’s genuinely upset that Liberty prefers Eddie to him.’
A small relieved noise escapes me. ‘He must have an ego the size of Brazil if he’s surprised that he’s lost out to a billionaire.
And not just any billionaire; Eddie’s very charming.
And exceedingly generous.’ I witter on. ‘He’s not bad-looking either and Liberty is definitely into the whole cowboy thing. ’
Matteo pretends to look surprised.
‘Sorry. I’m prattling on. I just meant that looks aren’t everything.’
‘And money is?’
Gawd. ‘No! God, no. Unless… you know, Eddie is a billionaire. That’s slightly different.’ Please lord, do not ask how this is different. I may as well have a shovel in my hands.
‘You seem very keen. Should I be worried?’
His question makes me huff out a nervous laugh.
I literally have no money at all. On paper, I’m a complete liability.
‘Oh, no. Definitely not. I’d take looks over money every time.
Not that I know how much money you have or that I married you purely based on your looks but I’m not going anywhere.
’ I flash him my wedding ring. ‘Till death do us part, remember?’
‘So why did you marry me?’
I flounder. What a great question. To which I have no immediate answer.
‘Why did you marry me?’ I squeak with panic.
He takes my hand gently in his as he lifts his gaze to mine. ‘I asked you first.’
It’s like he’s flicking on a light switch inside me. I can feel myself glowing under his intense and bemused scrutiny. But I must not allow myself to get too distracted. We have issues.
‘We need to talk,’ I say earnestly. ‘Not about money, I mean, but about… us.’
‘I know.’ He grows serious, running his hand through his thick, dark hair. ‘Nacho told me about your conversation in the taxi.’
I swallow. ‘I need you to help me understand why you’ve not been entirely honest with me. About your mother. I would have understood. We’re a team now. A partnership. We have to trust each other and be honest.’
Matteo’s cheeks flush.