Chapter 15 #2
“True. And we spend our lives trying to grow closer to the Lord and becoming more like Jesus, and then at the end of our lives, we slowly lose all of our abilities and forget who we even are. I just… I don’t really get it.”
“Yeah.”
They were quiet for a while, and Nelly was partially astonished that Roland actually had a spiritual side. He thought about deep questions. Even questions that she hadn’t thought about. And he had good answers for them too.
“I guess in the same vein, I’ve often wondered why when a Christian couple gets married, they become one, right?”
“Right.”
“Well then, why does one of them die and the other one doesn’t?
If they’re one, shouldn’t they both die together?
Why does God want us to spend decades learning to live with someone, to love them despite their faults, to have a sacrificial attitude and love toward them, and have their marriage become like the relationship between Christ and the church, and then one of them dies, and the one that has spent decades trying to not just put up with the other one but love them, all of a sudden they’re alone.
And they have to learn to be alone. If they were one, shouldn’t they die together? ”
She had never considered that. And Roland seemed like such a happy-go-lucky kind of person, always laughing, always messing around, or else arguing with her, and giving her a hard time, making fun of her, being sarcastic. The idea that he was capable of such deep thought shocked her.
“I don’t have an answer for that. And I guess I have to admit that I’ve never even really thought about it.”
He lifted his shoulder like it wasn’t a big deal.
“I guess I probably wouldn’t have either if it hadn’t been for Grandma.
But she had been married, and Grandpa died, and that’s why she moved in with us.
They’d been married for almost sixty years.
And you could tell she missed him every single day.
She’d grown used to being with him, putting up with everything that he did, and he wasn’t really an easy person to get along with if I recall correctly.
But she had learned to love him, and she wasn’t the same when he passed away.
I often wondered, why did she have to spend sixty years putting up with someone, learning to love them anyway, and then God takes them, and she has to learn to be alone again? I just didn’t get it.”
Nelly couldn’t believe that she was actually having a spiritual conversation with Roland.
Roland, who was always sarcastic and goofy and funny, and made fun of her and argued with every word that came out of her mouth, actually had a spiritual side that was rather deep, exploring questions she’d never even thought about before.
“I guess I don’t have any answers for that.”
“I don’t either. I suppose it’s kind of depressing, and I’m sorry.
Although it’s something that I wonder about, because either I’ll die young, or I’ll go through what your grandma is going through.
And I’ve figured out that part of living life well is preparing yourself for the things that you’re going to face and then facing them using the Word of God as your guide.
I just… I’m not sure how to guide myself through that. ”
Wow.
“That’s really good,” she said, feeling lame, after he said so many deep things, and she was just so shocked that she couldn’t manage to get anything out of her mouth.
“Anyway, typically staying calm, not arguing with them, and basically letting them do what they want, although giving calm suggestions, but not demanding, works best. Because usually when you demand, they get belligerent and refuse to do absolutely anything that you suggest. It’s best if you can kind of guide them and let them think that it’s their idea.
” He held up the glass of water. “But I think the crisis is over for today.”
“That’s good advice. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”
Again, Roland was giving her advice, and it was good advice, and he was saying it in a normal tone and talking to her like a normal person. It was weird.
“I’m gonna take this in to your gram,” he said, nodding at her.
“I’ll be right in. She suggested I get a drink, and I felt like she was right. Thanks for talking to me. I feel better having spoken with you.”
He laughed a little. “I don’t know how you do. It was kind of deep and dark stuff. I wish… I wish I could say something more encouraging.”
Their eyes met for a heavy moment, and communication seemed to flow between them, but she didn’t know why. Then he turned and walked into the living room.
She felt like he was sincere. He truly did wish that he could make her happy? Say something nice?
The idea was just so strange. They had been enemies forever, and now all of a sudden, Roland was in her house doing something kind?
Or maybe it was her. Maybe she had just looked at him through the glasses of what she thought he should be, rather than what he was, and just made assumptions about every move he made—mean, unkind, wrong assumptions.
She got a drink and set the glass down on the counter, feeling better.
This would be okay. It would pass, they would get through it.
She would have to figure some things out.
But she had time. Roland said that there were episodes, and they had good days and bad days…
She might have to talk to the family and figure something out for Gram, but it didn’t have to happen today.
She walked into the room to see Roland kneeling at her gram’s feet, talking to her, with her gram laughing at something he had said.
“There you are. I thought you got lost in the kitchen,” Gram said, patting Roland’s arm. “This guy has been keeping me entertained with stories from him and his siblings growing up. My goodness, it’s been so long since we had children in the house. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“It keeps you young, that’s for sure,” Roland said, straightening.
“Thanks a lot for helping,” Nelly said as she came closer and Roland stepped back.
“No problem. But if you guys are good, I’m gonna head out.”
“My goodness, son. You can go if you need to, but just remember, you’re welcome here anytime. Especially if you’re going to tell a couple of really good stories,” Gram said, looking young and happy and like she hadn’t had a major episode of confusion and discombobulation just a few minutes ago.
“Yeah. You’re welcome back anytime,” Nelly said, meeting Roland’s gaze directly.
If she was right, she got the feeling that he was just as unsettled about their newfound…truce? Friendship? Kindness toward each other? as she was.
“If there’s anything I can do, for either one of you, just let me know, okay?”
He didn’t have to say for both of them and include her in his statement. Her grandma was one thing, but she was so surprised that he was offering to help her if she needed it that she barely waved as he turned and strode to the front door, opening it and disappearing.
“My goodness, what a nice young man,” her grandma said.
“Isn’t he?” Nelly said faintly, hardly able to believe that she was saying such a thing about Roland McBride.