Chapter 10
Tex
Hollywood spent most of the drive to the mobile home focused on Ruby. I could tell that he’d missed her. But I had to wonder, did he miss me too?
When we got to the new place, Hollywood stepped in and looked around. The living room was set up with his sofa, television, and coffee table—with the addition of some child-safe bumpers for the sharp corners.
Boxes sat in neat stacks by the walls, waiting to be unpacked, but it shouldn’t take more than a day or two to get settled in.
“Wow, it really is so much bigger.” Hollywood mused as he set Ruby down.
She ran to the sofa and climbed onto it, snatching up her stuffed bunny and giving it a squeeze. “Mine.”
“Yep, that’s yours,” Hollywood said with a smile. “Is she your baby?”
Ruby nodded and stroked the bunny’s ears. “He is Ruby baby. He’s called Bob.”
“Bob?” Hollywood said, sounding bemused. “Bob the bunny?”
“Uh-huh! Bob!”
“Who’s ready for dinner?” I asked. “I’ve got it all set up in here.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to cook.”
“That’s all right,” I said. “Aiden gave me a casserole to heat up. Besides, you’re a disaster in the kitchen.”
He gasped. “Excuse me?”
“First the eggs—”
“I was distracted by Ruby’s potty emergency!”
“—and then you burned the grilled cheese yesterday. That’s like Cooking 101.”
“I was trying to work around dozens of boxes, and I couldn’t find the cooking spray!”
I chuckled at his affronted expression. “Holly, you don’t need to be a good cook. You’re a good man. A good dad. I think that’s more than enough.”
He huffed a breath, and his lower lip pushed out in a pout. “I guess.”
I reached out and brushed my thumb over his full lower lip. “Aw, don’t sulk.”
His eyes widened, a blush coming into his cheeks. The air seemed to still around us.
Oh, fuck. What was I doing?
I jerked my hand back. “Anyway, let’s eat.”
“Good idea,” he said quickly.
There was no table—Holly’s apartment had been too small for one—but I’d positioned two large boxes and lawn chairs in the center of the eat-in kitchen for us to use.
I busied myself with pulling foil off the casserole dish and spooning servings of chicken, mushrooms, and rice onto plates. I put the first one in the microwave and chanced a glance over my shoulder.
Hollywood was settling Ruby into her booster seat. “Such a big girl, getting to sit at the table.”
Ruby lay her hand on the cardboard surface. “Box.”
“A table tonight.”
“Box!” She slapped it. “Box!”
“Table box,” Hollywood corrected quickly. “A table made out of a box?”
Ruby giggled, apparently tickled by that idea. “Table box!”
His wide smile made me want to touch his lips again. Maybe with my mouth instead of my fingers. Damn it. I had to get these urges under control.
I wanted to make things right with Holly—really talk about what happened between us—before I pounced on him. Not to mention, I wasn’t ready to pounce. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
I’d spent two years in prison fending off guys.
I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact I wanted this one.
Hollywood wasn’t the first man to ever turn my head, but he was the first real possibility.
In retrospect, I’d watched more than one television show for the eye candy.
I’d told myself I’d liked Matt Bomer’s charisma and wit in White Collar, but if I was totally honest, he was damn pretty, too.
The microwaved beeped, pulling me from my thoughts. I took out the first plate and put in the second. While it warmed, I added a smaller portion of rice to a bowl for Ruby and took the time to cut the chicken into pieces.
Hollywood came up behind me. “Anything I can do?”
His breath stirred the hairs on the back of my neck. A tingle ran down my spine. “Nope. Just take your plate.” I brandished it at him like a weapon. Anything to get a little space between us.
He caught it and backed away with a small smile. “You take good care of me, Tex. You must have worked really hard today. Thank you.”
His gratitude caught me off guard. I shrugged. “It was nothing.”
“No, it was definitely something.”
While I finished warming food for me and Ruby, Hollywood went to the refrigerator. He poured apple juice for Ruby, then pulled out a beer for him. “You got my favorite kind.”
“Of course.”
“But you hate it…”
“You don’t.” I shrugged. “I got some Bud in there too. Grab one for me?”
“Sure.”
We both returned to the table, laden with food and drinks. I delivered Ruby’s bowl, along with a spoon, and took a seat on the far side of the box table.
Hollywood sat closer to Ruby to keep an eye on her. “This looks great. I’ve never been so happy to eat on a box before.”
I laughed. “Fine dining, it’s not.”
“I disagree,” he said, forking up a bite and blowing on it gently. “It’s fine dining.”
I rolled my eyes at his play on words, but my chest warmed. I’d wanted his first night in a new place to be special. Hollywood was taking on a lot of change really fast, and I wanted to do what I could to make it easier on him.
It had nothing to do with me wanting to see him smile over and over. Or the way my stomach flipped and twisted when he did. Or the urge to put my hand on his cheek or his arm or his leg to feel the connection that hummed between us.
Hollywood entertained me with a few barbershop stories while he helped Ruby. She made a mess, dropping about half as much as she got into her mouth, and she was stabbing at the food with the zeal of a truly enthusiastic serial killer.
“I swear I didn’t starve her all day.”
Hollywood grinned, setting off flutters in my gut. “I believe you. She’s just a little drama queen.”
Ruby made a loud nom-nom-nom while she ate that seemed to confirm his statement. We both laughed.
It was good to see Hollywood settling into the role of father. He was already a natural, focusing all his attention on her, eyes full of affection. I was a little jealous. I wanted that warm gaze on me.
I finished eating well ahead of Hollywood and cleared my plate. I rinsed it at the sink, then turned. “How about I give Ruby a bath so you can finish eating?”
Hollywood glanced at his plate, hardly touched. “That would be great. Thanks.”
I went over to Ruby and picked her up. “Ready to take a bath?”
“Bubbles!”
“Yes, we’ll have lots of bubbles,” I promised as I carried her down the hall.
I ran a warm bath and helped her undress and climb in. We washed her red hair, careful to protect her eyes from the water, then made lots of bubbles to play in.
Hollywood came to the doorway, watching us. Ruby was clean and just playing in the water by then.
“You’re so good with her,” he said wistfully.
“So are you.” I turned, locking eyes with him. “You want to take over?”
He smiled shyly. “I kind of do.”
I stood and backed up a step. “I’m here to help. Not take over. You can tell me to take a hike if you want to do something.”
Hollywood edged into the space between me and the tub. “I don’t want you to take a hike.”
Our eyes locked.
“No?” I asked. “Even though…”
His eyebrow inched up. “Even though?”
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “I just know I kind of broke our friendship.”
“Maybe I had a hand in that too.”
“No.” I looked away. “I messed up.”
Hollywood’s long, slim fingers cupped my chin. He turned my face toward him.
“We both messed up, okay? Stop punishing yourself.”
I nodded, and his fingers slid a fraction. The tip of his thumb brushed the corner of my mouth.
I sucked in a breath, desire rushing hot to the surface.
Now was not the time. Ruby was splashing in the tub, and she’d need to be dried and dressed and put to bed.
The doorbell rang, making us both jump.
Hollywood jerked his hand away. “Sorry, I didn’t—”
“I’ll just go answer the door.”
“Yeah.”
I rushed from the bathroom as if a wildfire raged behind me. I supposed it kind of did. God help me, I was falling in deep with Hollywood, and I wasn’t sure either of us knew how to navigate these woods.
I pulled open the door to see Joyride on the porch. Cute, young, gay Joyride—who probably had a crush on Hollywood, because why wouldn’t he? Ugh.
“Nice to see you too,” Joyride said with a smirk.
I schooled my expression to neutral. “Sorry, we were just in the middle of something.”
Joyride’s eyebrows rose. “Oh? Do tell.”
“Hey, Joy.” Hollywood came up behind me, Ruby swaddled in a fuzzy little robe. “What’s up?”
“Just came by to help out,” he said hesitantly, eyes flicking to me. “I thought you’d be unpacking…”
“Yeah, come on in,” Hollywood said. “We were just getting Ruby cleaned up before we tackled that. Right, Tex?”
“Right,” I murmured, stepping back to let Joyride squeeze by.
Joyride gave me a bit of side-eye, probably because I’d led him to believe he was interrupting something else.
I should probably feel bad about that, but I didn’t.
I wasn’t sure what, if anything, could happen with Hollywood.
But I knew I didn’t want Joyride muddying the waters before we’d figured it out.
“I can watch the munchkin while you unpack boxes,” Joyride offered. “Or I can help unpack, too. Whatever. Just figured unpacking with a toddler probably wasn’t the easiest thing.”
No kidding. I’d made an attempt in the late afternoon, but I hadn’t gotten as far as I’d have liked. Ruby had been into everything, wanting to help by dragging stuff all over the house.
“Thanks, Joey,” Hollywood said, his tone warm. “That’s awesome.”
“Joey?” I said sharply.
“It’s my real name,” Joyride said dryly. “But it’s Joy to you.”
“More like no joy,” I grumbled.
Hollywood had already handed Ruby over to Joyride and was paying little attention to me. “Should we start in the kitchen? Those boxes should be pretty easy to knock out.”
“Yeah, good idea,” I said.
I followed Hollywood to the kitchen. To my irritation, Joyride did too. Hollywood glanced over his shoulder. “You want a drink?”
“I’d take a Coke if you’ve got one.”
“Sure.” Hollywood opened the fridge and pulled out a soda, handing it to me.
I held it out to Joyride wordlessly.
He took it from me, head tilted. “Thanks, Tex. Play your cards right, and maybe I’ll volunteer to babysit whenever you guys need. You know, so you two could go out and have some fun.”
Hollywood chuckled as he opened a box that contained mixing bowls. “Fun? Not sure I remember what that is.”
I caught the subtext of what Joyride was saying, though. He was clearing the path for me. Saying he’d watch Ruby if I wanted to take Hollywood out for a date.
Holy shit. This kid saw right through me.
I swallowed hard and turned to open another box. The tape held fast, and I had to rip the cardboard to get it open. It felt good to let out some frustration. To tear that box open and be in fucking control of something. Fuck knew I wasn’t controlling myself very well these days.
Good thing Joyride showed up when he did. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if left alone with Hollywood for too long. My self-restraint was cracking after three days in his company.
It made me wonder how I’d endured three months away when all I wanted to do was get closer, to soak in his warmth, to draw out a smile, to have those eyes locked on me like they used to be.
Before I’d shut down that first kiss. Before I’d run to Hayworth instead of facing my truth.
My sister had needed me—and Hollywood would have understood that if I’d just talked to him.
Instead, I’d used it as an excuse to hide from feelings that overwhelmed me.
From the certainty I’d only fuck up with him the way I’d fucked up with my dad over and over.
The way I’d fucked up with Redemption Road, unable to hold down a job.
The way I’d fucked up my life by getting busted and sent to prison.
Hollywood was too special to get dragged down into my brand of hell. But these feelings weren’t going away. And when I was with him and Ruby, I could almost believe this time would be different. This time I really wouldn’t fuck up everything.
Because I was helping him.
Whatever happened, I couldn’t forget the reason I was here. Not to indulge my curiosity. Not to get laid. To help Hollywood and Ruby through a difficult time.
If something more was meant to happen, it couldn’t be rash or impulsive. I had to tread carefully, to make sure I was really ready. That we both were.
Because I never wanted to hurt Hollywood—or myself—like that again.