Chapter 11 #2
“I’m figuring that out. I don’t know how I’d have done it without him.”
“You’d have found a way. You’d just be a lot more tired.”
I laughed, knowing she was right. That first day, when I thought Tex was heading home and I’d spent a difficult few hours at the hospital with Ruby, I’d gotten a tiny taste of what that must be like. I was glad I didn’t get the full serving.
“How are you doing?” I asked. “You look tired yourself.”
“Yeah. Between visiting Carrie, fielding my mom’s calls, taking care of the kids, and picking up a few night shifts—”
“Wait, hold on. You have a night job too?”
“Things have been tight. The factory has been cutting Mike’s hours back.
It’s unpredictable, so we can’t plan around it very well.
” She sighed. “It would almost be easier if they just took away a whole day, but no, it’s an hour or two every couple of days, always on different days.
So, nights are my only option. Even his days off tend to shift from week to week. ”
“That sounds awful.” The coffee finished dripping into the carafe, its light turning off. I grabbed a cup and filled it for her. “Where are you working? Tex is going to look for a night job, too.”
“Sauced,” she said. “I could ask if we need any more dishwashers.”
I grimaced. “That’s okay. He’s already tried them.”
Sauced was the last place that fired Tex.
Not because he’d done anything wrong, either.
A customer had spotted him bussing tables, and she hadn’t liked the idea of an ex-con working at the restaurant.
She’d let the owners know she’d boycott if he stayed on.
They were a small business, and they’d worried about the negative publicity if she spread it all over social media.
Which, judging by her attitude, she would have.
It wasn’t my favorite place, given the fact it was just one more reason Tex had bailed on Riverton. Maybe if he’d kept that job, if his sister hadn’t had trouble with her ex, if he hadn’t wanted to leave Redemption Road…maybe he wouldn’t have run so easily from me.
Or it would have hurt ten times worse when he did. Because then I’d know I was the only reason he’d left.
I sighed and shook the thoughts from my head. It didn’t matter now, did it? Tex was coming back.
My heart clenched tight. He had to come back.
“You okay?” Kelly asked. “I didn’t mean to discourage you. I’m sure he’ll find work somewhere. Maybe the Fieldhouse needs some bartending help? Or, um, that pool hall? I bet they don’t care about ex-cons working for them.”
“Ouch.” I gave a little laugh. “I don’t know whether you’re insulting the pool house or insulting us.”
She took a sip of her coffee. “I keep putting my foot in my mouth.”
I waved a hand. “It’s okay. I get it. We were criminals, and even though we went to prison, some people still want to punish us.”
She tilted her head thoughtfully. “I guess so. Is that what you think Carrie has been doing?”
“Maybe.”
“She was angry and hurt. You made her so many promises, and then you were just gone. She carried Ruby all those months on her own. She delivered her baby without you.”
“I wanted to be there.”
“But you weren’t,” Kelly said, far less harshly than she could have. “Maybe that wasn’t by choice, but it was because of choices you made. You took risks—”
“For a good reason,” I said. “The company was ripping off their retirees!”
“Maybe, but you didn’t ask Carrie, did you? She wasn’t aware of the way you were gambling everything you’d promised her, was she?”
I slumped, leaning against the counter and hanging my head. “No.”
“No,” she said softly. “And you both paid for it.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, a pit opening in my stomach. All the darkness that had consumed me in those first weeks after my arrest surged up to suffocate me again. “It wasn’t fair to her. I know that.”
“It wasn’t,” she agreed. “But what you’re doing now? Taking care of Ruby. Stepping up when Carrie needs you? That is going to go a long way to making amends.”
I raised my head a fraction. “You think she’ll ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know.”
I sighed. “Yeah, that’s what I figured.”
“But I think she’ll give you a second chance to be part of her life,” Kelly said. “You’re Ruby’s father in more than name now. She’s building a relationship with you. Carrie won’t take that away.”
“Good. I couldn’t go back to the way things were. I love Ruby.”
“I know,” she said. “Besides, as soon as Tex gets his head out of his ass, you’re going to have a new boyfriend, right? You won’t need Carrie to take you back.”
I jerked my head up, face heating. “Oh, I don’t want her to take me back now. I just want to make up for my mistakes. To somehow…make amends.”
“You’re doing it already. Right now, with that little girl.” Kelly smirked. “But I notice you didn’t deny that Tex is boyfriend material.”
I opened my mouth to argue, then snapped it shut. What would I even say? She was right. Whether Tex ever wanted me, my heart was already his.
“Let’s go check on the kids.”
Kelly laughed, eyes sparkling. “Fine. I’ll stop harassing you.”
“I better get a good report with Ruby’s grandma after this,” I grumbled.
“Don’t complain or I’ll give her your number.”
I threw a horrified look over my shoulder. “No complaints here! Check in as often as you like.”
Kelly threw her head back, laughing, and I relaxed a fraction. She had warmed up toward me considerably since the night I took Ruby, and I was pretty sure I had an ally in my corner.
It was nice to have another adult here for a while, to watch Ruby play with her cousins, and just relax. But that didn’t stop me from wondering how Tex’s day was going. If he was thinking about me at all while he was gone.
And most importantly, what he’d meant when he said we should talk. Was it a good talk or a bad talk? Did he want to take our friendship to another level—or warn me that it would never happen?
I wish I knew. But I couldn’t trust my instincts when it came to this man.
I’d been wrong before. I was too afraid to make the same mistake again.