Chapter 17 #2
I took the turn into the rehab center parking lot and swung into a space. “And now?”
He shook his head. “I just can’t see it. I can’t see anything. It’s like, I just keep thinking about what I did, who I hurt, and I can’t move on. I don’t want to just forget and be happy. Not when the other driver is in a wheelchair because of me.”
Joyride had shared a bit of what happened with me.
I knew he’d taken his parents’ car without permission.
That he’d gone joyriding. He wasn’t drunk or high, or he’d have probably spent a lot longer in prison.
He’d been young and stupid, though, and another driver had been seriously injured when he lost control of his car.
He’d taken a plea deal for five years. He was a privileged white kid with a father who had influence with the judge, and it was his first offense. But for the first time, I wondered if getting off with a light sentence was really the best thing for Joyride.
“We’ll figure out something, okay? You can’t give up on your life.”
“Yeah,” he said, sounding unconvinced.
I killed the engine. “Come on. Let’s go in.”
Joyride followed me and Ruby into the building. After checking in at the front counter, we were directed to a family lounge. Carrie was already inside, sitting in a recliner with a wedge pillow between her legs and a belt around her thighs to keep it in place. A walker stood next to her chair.
She looked a hell of a lot better than she had in the hospital. Her eyes were clear, her hair recently washed, and she wore loose-fitting pants and a T-shirt, rather than a hospital gown.
“Hey, there’s my girl!” she said with a tired smile.
“Mama!” Ruby wiggled to get loose, but I was concerned about letting her dive-bomb Carrie.
“Can I let her go, or will she hurt you?”
Just then, a gorgeous man with deep auburn hair and coppery stubble on a perfect jawline leaned into the room. “Don’t overdo it, Care. We’ve got ankle pumps coming up.”
“Thanks, Kit. I’ll be careful.”
Kit wore an athletic shirt that fit him very well, loose track pants, and a gorgeous smile. His gaze tracked over us, jerking to a stop on Joyride.
“Hi, again,” he said warmly.
Joyride did a double take, then gave Kit a thorough once-over. He wasn’t so much appreciating the fit of Kit’s clothes as imagining them coming off, I was pretty sure. “Hey. I didn’t know you lived in Riverton.”
“Guilty,” Kit said with a chuckle. His blue-green eyes—I couldn’t quite decide which color they were—flicked over to me and Ruby. “Carrie can hold her daughter. Just settle her carefully and don’t let her jump on her.”
“Got it.” I gently lowered Ruby into Carrie’s lap. “Use soft hands with Mommy. She still hurts.”
Ruby seemed to understand, leaning in for a cuddle and gently patting her mom’s face. “Okay, Mommy?”
“I’m okay.” Carrie kissed the tips of her fingers, tears springing to her eyes.
“That’s my cue to go,” Kit said, backing out of the room.
Joyride hopped up. “I’ll wait outside. You guys should have some time alone.”
He hurried out after the gorgeous Kit, but I wasn’t sure if it was Carrie’s tears chasing him away or whatever sparks were flying between them.
“I can let you see Ruby alone if you’d rather,” I said hesitantly.
Carrie shook her head and swiped at the tears tracking down her face. “You’ve seen me cry before.”
“Not my favorite memories.”
She gave a watery laugh. “That’s good to know.” She sniffed. “I just get so weepy these days. Ignore it.”
I perched on a nearby sofa. The cushions were very firm, almost hard. “I’m sure you miss Ruby.”
“I do, but I’m too exhausted to think about it most of the time. Does that make me awful?”
“Of course not.”
“Mama cry,” Ruby said, tone troubled. “Is Mama sad?”
“No, no. Mama is just so happy to see you!” Carrie forced her voice bright and gave a little laugh. “You are growing so fast, aren’t you?”
“Ruby’s a big girl!”
“Yes, you’re getting there.”
I smiled. “She’s nearly potty trained. I told her she was a big girl who might not need pullups anymore.”
Carrie smiled down at Ruby. “Well, good job, Ruby. Are you being really good for your dad?”
“Yep! And Teck!”
“Teck?”
“My friend, Tex,” I said quickly. “He’s great with kids. Your sister met him.”
Carrie nodded. “Oh, I see. Tex helps watch Ruby?”
“Yeah, while I’m at work. I got a bigger place, and he’s my roommate, so she knows him pretty well.”
“And you trust him with her?”
“More than I trust myself,” I assured her.
“Well, that’s good enough for me,” she said. “Kelly said she stopped by and you were doing great with Ruby.”
I nodded. “I, uh…I know we’ve got our past, Carrie, but I love Ruby. I want to be her dad. I broke your trust, and it must have been really hard to let me take her after the accident, but—”
“I wasn’t worried,” she cut in. “I knew you’d take good care of her. That was never the problem.”
“You did? But…you were so against me having visitation.”
She looked at me over Ruby’s head, a guilty expression flickering in her eyes. “I was angry. I wanted to punish you. It was wrong.”
“Yeah, it was. Not so much because you were hurting me.” I shrugged. “I deserved that, right? You had to carry Ruby alone. Had to give birth and care for a newborn without a partner. That’s on me. But Ruby deserves a father.”
Carrie nuzzled Ruby’s hair. Kissed her cheek. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I know. I’m glad you didn’t hold it against me when we needed you.”
“Of course not,” I said. “You’re allowed to be angry, Care. I earned that. I just want to be in Ruby’s life.”
“You are.” She met my gaze. “You always will be, as long as you want to be. I won’t keep you away.”
Relief washed through me. “Okay good.”
We stayed until Ruby got restless and I had to take her from Carrie’s lap. She looked wiped out, anyway.
“They barely have me doing anything. Some ankle flexing. Some deep breathing.” She rolled her eyes. “Everything is stupid hard.”
“You’re still healing. Focus on that. I’ll bring Ruby by whenever you want to see her.”
“Thank you.”
We left the room and started down the hallway. Joyride was laughing with the cute physical therapist. When he saw me, he said his goodbyes and headed over.
“Hey, how did it go?”
“Good.” I nudged him. “But maybe not as good as it went for you with the hottie, huh?”
He blushed and glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, we just—”
He stopped cold, color draining from his face. I looked over, wondering what could make him look like he’d seen a ghost.
A woman in a wheelchair had stopped in front of Kit. She gazed up, smiling, and lifted a drink carrier—much as Joyride had just this morning. Her voice carried across the room. “I was out running errands, so I brought you a coffee.”