Chapter 26
Tex
I got to Wilde Roots early, with the hope I could talk to Ken Wilde about getting an advance on my paycheck.
It wouldn’t completely solve my rent problem—I’d be behind on next month’s bills when I didn’t get paid as much—but it would buy me some time to get together the extra.
Maybe Dad would even pay me back once he pulled his head out of his ass.
Probably not, but I really wanted to believe it. Dad had never jerked me around like this before. He was hard on me sometimes about my mistakes, but what father wasn’t? He’d wanted better for my life. I could understand that. But he didn’t punish me.
Rick Wilde, a daytime worker and Ken’s cousin, stood behind the register, counting out the cash drawer.
“Hey, Rick.” I came to a stop, resting my hand on the checkout counter. “Where’s Ken?”
“He’s taking a few days off this week for a big anniversary trip with Caroline,” he said. “I’m surprised he didn’t talk your ear off about it. They just hit thirty-five years, and he’s acting like a newlywed.”
Rick rolled his eyes, lips twitching at the corners. He acted annoyed, but I could tell how much he liked and respected Ken.
It wasn’t good news for me, though.
“We’ve been like passing ships in the night lately. I’ve been pretty busy rearranging the nursery for ideal growing conditions.”
Rick nodded. “Yeah, Ken told me about that. You have a real green thumb, huh?”
“Eh, I’ve just got some past experience with greenhouse management.”
He nodded. “Ken’s been impressed.”
“Good to hear.” I took a steadying breath. “Listen, uh, I was hoping to ask Ken this, but…I’m kind of in a tough spot.”
“Oh? What’s up?”
“Well, long story short, I was hoping I could get an advance on my paycheck? I’ve got rent coming due, and I’ve had some unexpected expenses.”
Like my father ripping me off.
Rick’s forehead creased. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, Tex. We don’t usually offer that feature. It tends to create problems. You know, once you get an advance to deal with extra expenses, then you don’t have enough pay for the next month’s expenses. It can be a slippery slope.”
I nodded. “I just need to buy a little time. I’ll pick up some extra work to make up the difference next month.”
“Well, Ken sure likes you. You’ve been a great asset to Wilde Roots. You should talk to him when he gets back. He might make an exception.”
“You can’t do it?”
“Sorry, no. I don’t have the authority.” He zipped his bag for the bank closed, filled with cash from the day’s sales. “I wouldn’t want to step on Ken’s toes, anyway. He’ll be back by next Monday.”
“Okay.”
He stepped around the counter and squeezed my shoulder. “Keep up the good work, Tex, and you can ask for a raise instead of an advance, eh?” He winked playfully.
I smiled and nodded.
I didn’t need a raise. I needed an influx of cash before next week, and with Ken out of pocket until Monday, that wasn’t happening.
Shit shit shit.
My stomach turned inside out, bile rising. What the fuck was I going to do now?
I hurried to the nursery. Instantly, the scent of soil and greenery hit me. I closed my eyes and breathed deep. Invited it inside, where it soothed my frazzled nerves.
In here, surrounded by fresh life, it was easy to believe that everything would be okay. I didn’t have to think about the money my father owed me or the look on Hollywood’s face when he found out I’d failed him.
Here, I could just breathe and tend to the plants and exist. That was enough.
I got so caught up in my work that three hours went by in a blink. My phone trilled in my hand, snapping me back to awareness. I glanced at the name on the display.
Dad.
My heart jumped into my throat. Maybe he’d changed his mind and wanted to pay me back?
The time registered next. It was 11 p.m. Damn. More likely, he was drunk and wanted to ramble about how I should come home and work for him again. I debated not answering, but I needed to talk to him. Needed to try to reason with him.
I picked up. “Hey, Dad.”
“Tex!” he boomed. “Come out to the loading dock.”
“What?” My feet were already moving me toward the back of the greenhouse before my mind had fully processed what this meant.
“We’re outside.”
“We?”
“Me and my new guy, Todd Birch. His last name is Birch!” Dad laughed. “What a hoot, huh?”
He was definitely drunk. I hoped Todd had done the driving. I reached the loading bay and hit the big red button that would lift the garage door. Cold wind knifed into me the moment I stepped outside.
I stood on the concrete, shivering as Dad hopped out of the passenger side of the truck. He took the ramp up onto the loading dock this time, instead of trying to climb it, only a little wobbly on his feet.
Todd stayed behind the steering wheel, looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else.
Welcome to working with my father.
“Damn, it’s cold as a witch’s tit out here!” Dad said, chafing his hands together.
“What are you doing here?”
“Is that any way to greet your old man? I’m here to help you out. You said you needed your money back.”
I sagged against the side of the building, a shaky laugh bubbling out. “Really? Shit, thanks, Dad. I was starting to freak out.”
“Sure, sure. You’ve gotta trust me. We can always work something out.”
His phrasing pinged an alarm in the back of my mind. I straightened. “Work something out?”
“Yeah. You need your money, and I need supplies.”
I shook my head. “Dad…”
“Your bosses don’t have to know! What’s a little fertilizer missing from the shelves, right? Inventory is a tricky business.”
My throat grew tight, an ache blooming. “You want me to steal?”
“It’s not stealing,” he said. “It’s just a little inventory mismanagement. They’ve got overages built into the budget, Tex. You know they do! We can both get what we need here.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You’re the one who needs money!”
“Yeah, the money I loaned to you. Money you promised to pay back. This is not the same. You’re asking me to commit a crime.”
He scoffed. “As if you’ve never done that before.”
His words cut deep. I’d done that for him. For his dream. And why? He’d never once thanked me for it. He wouldn’t thank me for this, either, even if it was his idea this time.
“I’m on parole. I’m not risking prison. Or my job. I like the owners.”
“More than me?” he challenged.
“Right now? Yes.”
“Goddamn it, Tex. Why are you always your own worst enemy? You had an amazing life ahead of you and you ruined it! Now, this is a step too far?” He scoffed. “This is nothing.”
“I was trying to save the greenhouse!”
“I don’t mean that. I mean your goddamned torn ACL.
You had to go be a stupid fool and lose your football scholarship.
” He spit on the ground. “I was so disgusted with you. Fucking hell, Tex, we could be living large right now. Instead, we’re fighting about money.
I give you chance after chance and you keep fucking up! ”
“I know I was stupid! I was young and reckless.”
“You sure as hell were!”
Hooking up a sled to a car and taking a wild ride during winter break had seemed so fun. But when I got on that sled, and the car took off, they hit a patch of ice, fishtailed wildly, then spun. I’d been flung around like a rag doll.
“I paid the price for getting that injury. But how is this my fuckup?” I demanded. “I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“You wouldn’t be in this mess if you’d just kept working with me. Neither of us would be.”
That was some fuzzy math if I’d ever heard it.
“That’s not true. Besides, I needed to be here.”
“Why?”
“You know why. I needed to help Hollywood with his little girl. His ex had a car accident and—”
“So?” Dad cut in. “Why is he more important than me, huh? Or your sister? You have your own family.”
“He’s my family!”
Dad’s eyes widened. His face paled. Even under the wash of the security lights, I could see the color leach from his face. “What did you say?”
“Hollywood is my family too,” I said quietly. “Him and Ruby.”
My heart thundered, and my palms grew clammy. I was treading dangerously close to a truth I couldn’t come back from. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to jump over that last barrier, tear down the crumbling bridge between us, or back away carefully and try to rebuild our trust.
“Tex, there’s love for a friend and then there’s love for your family. It’s not the same. You owe—”
“He’s more than a friend.”
Okay. Shit. Apparently, we were doing this.
Dad stilled. “I don’t know what that means.”
His words came out stilted and stiff. He knew. He didn’t want to be right, though. I understood that. I’d spent months knowing, deep down, and wishing I didn’t. In the end, facing the truth was better than fearing it.
When I faced it, I got to love Hollywood. Got to build a life with him and Ruby.
And that made everything worthwhile, didn’t it?
“I’m bi, Dad. I’m in love with Hollywood. That’s why he’s important to me. That’s why I can’t let him down. That’s why I need you to pay me back. The rent is coming due, and I need to pay my share. I need to—”
“Go to hell,” Dad snarled.
“Dad—”
He whirled and charged down the ramp, nearly falling in his hurry to get back to the truck.
“You’re not my son! My son wouldn’t do this to me.
” He shook his head, eyes wild. “Just stay the hell out of my life. Once a fuckup always a fuckup. Shoulda known something was wrong with you from the start.”
He spit one more time onto the asphalt, then got into the truck and slammed the door. The engine roared to life.
I stood on the loading dock, his words sitting like ice in my gut. So cold I barely felt the wind that was tugging at my hair and clothes. I wasn’t sure how long I stood there.
Long enough that my fingers grew as numb as my insides.
Until a passing vehicle’s headlights cut across the lot, flashing in my eyes. I came back to myself enough to stumble inside and close the garage door.
Then I sank to the floor, huddled in a ball, and tried to hold myself together. I had a few more hours of packing up goods for shipment. Hollywood was waiting at home, warm and sweet and everything good in the world.
And I’d just burned my last chance at getting Dad to ever repay me. If I couldn’t come up with the rent, if Hendrix saw what a fuckup I really was, would he still love me?
Or would he tell me to go to hell too?