Chapter Eight #3
‘I don’t want it, Isla, I promise,’ Cassie assured her.
‘The thought of promotion is a flattering one, and I can’t deny I was tempted.
But the reality would be more people to lead, more problems to solve, sitting in airports on my laptop and missing out at home.
That isn’t what I want, not now. Maybe one day I can go back.
’ But by then the world would have moved on again and she would be out of the loop, trying to step back through a door she’d always managed to push open.
Returning twice after maternity leave and juggling everything else had been difficult enough.
‘I’ll miss the wonderful people I work with, but I know in my heart I’m doing the right thing, for all of us.’ She gripped Isla’s hand. ‘You’re not disappointed in me for not taking the job?’
‘No!’ Isla’s eyes were shimmering with tears.
‘Dad was always really busy, and I know he loved us. But I don’t think a promotion would make you happy, and you always say, especially now, that we should go after what makes us happy.
We love you loads, and I think it’s totally the right thing to do. You can get another job.’
Doing what, Cassie really wasn’t sure. But an idea had dropped into her mind earlier, and she planned to explore it as soon as she could.
‘But we don’t want to hold you back if you really want it.’
‘Hold me back?’ She gulped, swiping at her eyes.
‘Darling, please don’t ever think that, because you’re absolutely not.
I’ve always loved my job, but it’s not the same since we lost Dad.
’ She paused, smiling through the sadness.
‘And here’s the bit I hope you’re really going to like.
I’m going to ask if I can give a month’s notice instead of three so I can leave before you break up in July.
I will need a job eventually, but we can manage if I take the summer off. ’
‘Seriously?’ Exhilaration flew across Rory’s face. ‘You mean, no work at all? All summer? No emails or meetings when we’re away?’
‘I do. You’ll be bored silly of me after six weeks.’
‘We won’t,’ he told her seriously. ‘Granny always says that family time is precious, and I think she’s right.’
‘So do I.’ Cassie nodded. ‘She’s very wise, your granny.’
‘So does that mean we can spend the summer with them in Hartfell?’
‘I don’t think so, Rory, I’m sorry.’ She hated to disappoint him so soon.
‘They have quite a lot of work to do on the new house, and the builders will be there for weeks. I spoke to Granny earlier, and she and Grandpa are thinking they’ll take a holiday of their own, something they’ve not been able to do in summer for years because of running the cottages. ’
‘Okay.’ Some of the hope fizzled out of Rory, and Isla was at the door, heading to her room to revise. ‘It doesn’t matter. It’ll be nice for them to have a proper holiday, they deserve it.’
‘Absolutely.’ Cassie smoothed his hair. How typical of him to understand, to appreciate the bigger picture in play. ‘And you two are going to Italy with Jas for some sunshine too, with Gigi.’
‘Yeah.’ Rory picked up his phone. However much her children would love the Italian adventure, for them nothing compared to weeks in a Scottish farmhouse with a beach at the bottom of the garden, and seemingly never-ending daylight.
Raf’s offer, about spending time at his new house in Hartfell, fell into her mind.
Could she ask him? Dare she? Cassie had been the one, after all, who’d said it wasn’t a good idea, and Isla and Rory couldn’t come and go in case they got used to it.
But that was before another chasm had opened up in her life.
If he did say yes, they’d be able to spend time with Fiona and Gordon too, help get their new home straight.
She was sure Raf would ride with Rory, and Isla would adore helping out with the ponies at Home Farm, and maybe even Dorothy’s cob.
Cassie would be free from work for a while, and it might give her the space to consider what would come next.
She was reminded of Raf’s words on the beach in Galloway, when he’d spoken of the three children he loved, his promise not to stand by and let anything happen to them.
And Isla and Rory knew they’d have to return to London as usual once the summer was over.
She understood Raf better now and she shouldn’t be afraid of what she felt for him.
They had restored their friendship, deepened it to a point where it was too precious to risk for another moment of madness.
He wanted to forget what had happened in Queensland and so did she.
So maybe a summer in Hartfell could just work. And why wouldn’t she try and indulge the pleasure it would bring her children for those few weeks? She had learnt the hard way that life was often short, and she’d told Pippa last year she ought to grab at happiness when it came around.
‘I’ll have a look at camping holidays in France again.’ Cassie wanted a backup just in case. ‘It would be fun, and we could pretty much guarantee the sun for a change.’
‘Yeah, sounds great, Mum.’ Rory stood up too, phone in hand. ‘We love you millions and millions, always and forever.’
‘Love you millions more,’ she replied softly.
It was their family mantra, one she’d instilled in her children from the beginning.
September would come soon enough, but in a few weeks she would be free, to be a mum and a friend, a useful daughter-in-law.
For the first time in years, she felt as though she’d slipped back behind the wheel of her own life.
Once the announcement of the sale of the hotels was made public the following day, Cassie rang Pippa and Fiona, hoping to sound them out about a possible summer in Hartfell.
Both women offered wise counsel and assured Cassie she had made the right decision.
Later, she took a deep breath and called Raf, her pulse hurrying as she waited for him to pick up.
‘Hey, Cass. How are you?’
‘Hi, Raf.’ Her stomach flipped as she heard his familiar voice, the low, husky note in it, sensing his smile without needing to see it.
Why did her own voice always rise when she spoke to him, even at a distance of nearly three hundred miles?
She cleared her throat. ‘I’m fine. How are you?
’ She wanted to tell him she’d missed him, even though it had only been a few days, and they were just friends.
‘Yeah, good. Let me put you on speaker.’
‘Are you alone?’ A ripple of alarm followed, she hadn’t considered that. Allegra and her cool blonde beauty flashed into Cassie’s mind.
‘Yep, at Pippa’s. They’ve gone out for dinner and Harriet’s off somewhere with Alfie. I had some things to sort with the distillery, so I stayed on.’
‘Okay.’ Cassie breathed out again. ‘So is that Maud I can hear barking?’
‘Sure is. I’m dog-sitting too, and working my way through the first stage of my course on distilling. I’ve even got to sit an exam.’
‘Aren’t you the professional now? I’m impressed.’
‘So you should be. I’ll be buying ties next, and chinos.’
‘That I would like to see.’
Raf chuckled, and Cassie hugged the sound to her. They didn’t often speak on the phone and there was an intimacy to their conversation she hadn’t expected.
‘Hold on, I think the dogs want out. On my way to the kitchen.’
She heard him open the door and she pictured the scene: Lola and Maud rushing across the terrace to the garden, the hens tucked up in the shed for the night.
‘So what can I do for you?’
‘I wondered if you were serious, about inviting us up to stay in the summer?’
‘Totally. Why would you think I wasn’t?’
‘I didn’t, I just wasn’t sure how it might work.’ She was smiling again, the load already lighter. ‘I’m leaving my job in four weeks and that means I have the whole summer to make plans for something else.’
He gave a low whistle. ‘Seriously? Wow, Cass, what’s changed?’
‘I was offered a promotion to global head of public relations. It would involve travelling, so I turned it down.’
‘And you’re happy with that? No regrets? This is huge.’ There was a softness to his reply she loved, and she was imagining him propped against the door frame, waiting for Lola and Maud to return.
‘No regrets,’ she said firmly. She only had to recall Rory’s relief to be certain. ‘So what do you think?’
‘I think you should pack and get in the car as soon as. I’m getting the keys to the house on Monday.’
‘If only.’ She had to laugh. ‘There are still six weeks of term left, and Isla has exams.’
‘Oh yeah.’ Raf whistled and Cassie heard the dogs come bounding back, their paws skittering on the kitchen floor. The clunk of a tin being opened, treats offered, Lola grunting as she settled into her bed. ‘Sorry, back now.’
‘It’s fine.’ She hesitated. ‘Are you quite sure, before I say anything to Isla and Rory, about having two sometimes grumpy and always hungry teenagers in the house, plus me, for a couple of weeks?’
‘Sure enough to say come for the whole summer.’
‘Raf…’
‘What? Why not?’
‘You’re not serious?’ But the idea did sound tempting.
A summer in Hartfell, weeks without work, Fiona, Gordon, Harriet, Pippa and Gil nearby.
All those she loved best. And Raf, in the same house, even nearer.
It would be fine, she told herself firmly.
There was no option other than to be normal around him.
‘Totally. So you’ll come?’
‘If Isla and Rory say yes.’ But that was as good as a done deal, and she knew the kids would love it. ‘We won’t get in your way, I promise. I need to talk with Jas and see how it might affect her plans. And when you’ve had enough of us and want the house back, you must say so.’
‘It definitely won’t come to that. I’ll be around too, I have a proper job now.
Kenny and Vince only took on the distillery on the understanding that I’m part of it.
’ Raf paused. ‘Look, I’m sorry I wasn’t very supportive about your dating profile the other day.
I think it’s a good idea if you’re sure you’re ready. ’
‘You do?’ If only Cassie believed it herself, and her shoulders slumped. Had she imagined the faint sigh she thought he’d uttered?
‘Just promise me you’ll be careful?’
‘Of course I will,’ she said, rattled by his easy acquiescence of her half-baked decision to join the dating app. ‘So is there anything you want to tell me?’
‘Such as?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Anything you think I should know before we arrive. Who might be coming and going, birthday plans, that sort of thing.’
‘Nope, nothing to tell. But there is another reason why I’m sticking around, and if you want to find out why, you’re gonna have to come up and see for yourself.’
Oh, hell. So maybe there was something between him and Allegra, and Cassie’s anxiety flared.
Perhaps she was making a dreadful mistake after all.
But everything except her own feelings for Raf made sense, and she’d be silly to turn down a summer in Hartfell and disappoint Isla and Rory because she was finding it difficult to friendzone him.
They were friends again, and she needed to nurture it.
He would never know how she really felt.
She could do this, especially for her children, and Fiona and Gordon, who needed the help.
Jas wouldn’t mind; she had coping with change hardwired into her, and she’d simply shift gears to accommodate Cassie’s new plan.
Some of the ease of their conversation had vanished and she was ready to end it, her mind caught on what Raf wasn’t saying.
‘Well, thank you. It’s so kind, and Isla and Rory will be ecstatic.’
‘You’re very welcome,’ he said softly. ‘Speak soon, yeah?’