2. Bertie #2
I jump in before he can answer. “It’s my fault.
I only told him today and I … I know how that sounds.
I wasn’t keeping it a secret, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.
Obviously, this wasn’t planned.” I gesture toward my still mostly flat stomach.
“I didn’t want to say anything until I made up my mind.
” My face heats with embarrassment, because this is Luke’s mom.
I can only imagine what she thinks of me for not telling her son. “But I’m keeping the baby.”
She takes my hand and her eyes are earnest when she says, “I would never judge you for taking the time to consider your options. Pregnancy and motherhood isn’t easy.”
I try to hold back my tears, but it’s futile. They fall freely.
“Oh, honey.” She pulls me into the cradle of her arms. “Let it all out.”
I didn’t realize until this moment how badly I needed a mother’s comfort. I knew I wouldn’t find it in my own mom, and it never crossed my mind that I might find it here.
Everyone thinks if you grow up rich and privileged that your life must be great.
And I won’t deny that it’s nice being spoiled and not having to worry about certain things, but I never truly had a family.
My dad was always working, and my mom was too busy planning social functions to be bothered with me.
My nanny, Lilliana, was more like a parent to me than my own.
Jocelyn lets me go and gives my cheek a soft pat. “Let me try to whip something up that can you eat.”
My stomach roils in protest.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she says, standing and heading for the small galley kitchen. “You can’t possibly eat, but I have an idea. Trust me, you’ll feel better if you can get something in you.”
That’s how I wind up seated at the small dining table in the corner of Luke’s house, gorging myself on a baked potato with only a small amount of butter and cheese—no sour cream because it made me queasy when Jocelyn asked—and a small helping of plain noodles with only butter.
It doesn’t go together at all, but it’s simply the best thing I’ve eaten in my entire twenty-two years of life.
Not to mention the fountain Sprite she made Luke grab for me from the McDonald’s down the street. I fear this soda might become my obsession. I swear in the weeks since I found out I was pregnant nothing has quite revived me like it has.
Jocelyn doesn’t say anything as I eat, but she smiles from ear to ear, and if Luke is bothered by the weird meal and lack of vegetables, he doesn’t say anything either.
I feel like a stuffed turkey by the time I’m finished.
I keep waiting for nausea to hit like it normally does any time I eat anything lately, but so far so good.
When my plate is empty, I stand to clean it, but Jocelyn shakes her head.
“Don’t worry about it, dear. I’m sure you want to get back to your dorm and you two might need to talk.”
Luke grabs up both our plates and sets them in the sink. “Do you want to go?” he asks.
I nod. “I should get back and go to bed.”
I grab up my purse, and he walks me out to my car. He opens the door for me and after I climb in, I roll the window down. He crosses his arms, leaning inside.
“This has been a day,” he says with a weary sigh.
I duck my head in shame. “I’m sorry for dumping all this on you now.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. But now that I know, I want to be a part of things, okay?
” He doesn’t wait for me to respond. “If you feel sick and want to call me to complain, please do it. If you get a craving in the middle of the night, I’ll be there.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you. Both of you.”
It’s his use of the word both that has me choking on air.
“God, this is so crazy.” I lean my head against the headrest. “There’s a baby inside me.
Our baby. I know I’ve had more time to get used to this than you, but it still doesn’t feel real.
I thought graduation in a month was going to be the biggest thing to happen to me this year, but now…
” I press a hand to my head. “Thank you for being so cool about this,” I tell him.
His eyes spark with annoyance. “Did you think I wouldn’t be?”
“No, I knew you would handle this with a grace I probably don’t deserve, but most guys wouldn’t.” I think of my ex, Tommy, and how despite being together for most of our college years I know if he’d gotten me pregnant, he would’ve been gone the second the test came back positive.
“Promise you’ll call me if you need anything.”
Chances of that happening are probably zilch. I don’t want to be Luke’s burden. We’re not even a real couple. We exist in this complicated existence that’s more than friends, but not quite a couple either.
I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if I’d given him a chance our freshman year. We hooked up at the beginning of that year, and soon after I met Tommy before I ever reconnected with Luke. What if I’d spent these past years with him instead of my miserable ex?
I guess it doesn’t really matter, because now we’re stuck with each other for life.
“I’m gonna go,” I say.
He nods. “Text me when you get to your dorm.”
“I will.”
He steps away from my car, and I roll up the window. He watches as I back out and when I get to the end of the street, I look back and find him watching from the driveway.
“Baby,” I say softly, tentatively touching my stomach. “I don’t deserve him.”