Chapter 15 Crown Gravehart #2
"This nigga," I chucked my chin in Honor's direction, "baring his soul might freeze hell over."
"Fuck you." Honor chuckled.
It felt good to hear his brooding ass laugh.
Shit, it felt even better to be around the nigga.
After that shit with Lynx, brother hit different.
I never expected my nigga to go out how he did, but that was the thing about putting expectations on niggas.
Not everyone was gon' live up to them. Lynx falling short fucked me up, and because of that, it was hard for me to let go of this shit with Honor.
I didn't need to know all his business, but what had to do with us and those we loved, I needed to know.
Everything wasn't for Honor to carry. If he shared some of the load, the nigga might actually enjoy life instead of always trying to survive and protect it.
"You good?" Honor asked, eyes narrowed as if he were trying to pinpoint the issue.
"Yeah. Just thinking 'bout some shit. Make sure y'all grab your own snacks. I'm not sharing with you niggas when them munchies hit," I told them as I walked into the kitchen to grab a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
"Ole stingy ass nigga," Wolfe huffed and grabbed a box of fruit snacks.
Looking toward Honor, I asked, "You not gon' grab nothing?"
"I'm good," he quietly stated.
I nodded but caught the heaviness in his tone. That nigga was hurting and wasn't shit I could do about it unless he let me in.
The three of us headed down to the basement and settled onto the sectional.
"Spark up," I told Wolfe, needing this new strand to kill the tension in the room.
The three of us being around each other never felt this fucking heavy before.
It wasn't on some beef shit. It was more uncomfortable, like I was sharing my space with a stranger I used to love.
Shit was weird, and if we didn't come to some kind of understanding today, I didn't see Honor and me ever getting back right.
"Here." Honor passed me one of the pre-rolls Wolfe handed to him. It was rolled to perfection. The thin hemp paper had sunflower petals pressed into the seam.
"Fuck your wife cooked up?" I asked, inspecting the rest of the spliff.
"These sunflower petals are fire, tho," Honor commented, giving his stamp of approval.
"She didn't say shit other than for me to tell her how it made me feel."
"How it makes you feel?" Honor frowned. "Nah, call her and ask what she put in this. I don't got time to be in my feelings with you niggas."
"Why not? Navy's out with a nigga, who else gon' wipe them tears for you," I joked.
"Navy's not out with shit. She knows better." Honor said it confidently, but the look on his face said the opposite.
"You don't believe that shit. But aye, I'm here if you wanna pull up, or we can put an iPad in her trunk and track her," I suggested.
"Nigga, what?" Wolfe laughed, brows knitting as he tried to make sense of what I'd said.
"Put an iPad in her shit, and she won't know you're tracking her. I heard those Apple tags alert their phone or some shit like that." I shrugged.
"I'm good," Honor stated.
"Cool. Aye, pass me that lighter real quick," I told Wolfe.
He sparked up before tossing me the lighter.
Fire woke the paper, glowing bright against the pressed sunflower petals.
The shit was beautiful and calming to watch.
I passed the lighter to Honor, as the smoke slid into my lungs smooth as fuck.
I held it there longer than I normally did, then exhaled, and that shit rolled out lazily, carrying all the shit I needed to get off my chest with it.
"Fuck, this shit goes crazy," Wolfe affirmed with every word dragging after the first.
"Chosyn might've cracked the code with this shit," Honor muttered, smoke clouding his face.
"Word," I agreed. "Aye, what happened with Choyce?"
"Nothing crazy, she just kissed me," he answered.
"Nah, it can't be that simple," I pressed, dragging another inhale of the spliff. "I've seen you stiff-arm a bitch for getting too close to you, but you want me to believe Choyce of all people was able to kiss you. That's bullshit, and you know it."
"I'm rolling with Crown on this one," Wolfe added.
"I met up with her to speak about some shit Lucian wants us to handle. I was in my head, and she caught me slipping. She kissed me, and I reminded her why that was a terrible decision on her part," he quietly said, staring at the floor.
"Fuck that mean?" I blurted.
"It means I made her choke on my shit."
"You let her suck you up, my nigga?" Wolfe pressed.
"Fuck no! She sucked on my glock," Honor gritted.
"Provide context next time," Wolfe scoffed. "You had me thinking of places to hide your ass so Chosyn won't find you," Wolfe half-joked.
"You're the only one scared of your wife," Honor chuckled.
"Fuck I look like being afraid of my wife?"
"A smart man. Chosyn got more than a few screws loose," I reminded him, falling into the arms of my high.
My thoughts stopped sprinting and started to drift. The room felt calmer, like somebody had turned the tension down and upped the peace.
"Don't talk 'bout my wife when your goofy ass dug up a corpse and brought him to family dinner," Wolfe tossed back.
"How you think I know Chosyn is a little off? It takes a crazy person to know one." I smirked. "Nah, but don't trip too hard off what happened. Navy's upset about it now, but she won't be forever. Give her time to—"
"I didn't tell her," Honor cut in.
"What is she mad for if not the kiss?" Wolfe pulled the question straight outta my head.
"I ignored her calls and shit last night, then came home late as fuck."
"Nah, that's not it," I interjected, shaking my head. "Four was on the phone with Navy last night. I didn't hear what they were talking about fully, but she was on the phone crying, and you know Navy's not the crying type."
"Right," Wolfe agreed.
"Fuck y'all want me to say?" Honor gritted.
"The truth, nigga!" I blacked.
"That is the fucking truth. I didn't tell her about the kiss because she's been bugging since I walked in the house last night. Telling her is only gon' make shit worse. I checked Choyce and made sure she understood not to cross that line again."
"Nigga, do you know how to be honest?" I let out a dry chuckle, ashing what was left of my spliff.
"I'm telling y'all niggas now. I'm not breaking up shit. I'ma let y'all fight and record it for Navy and Four to see so they can clown y’all asses."
"This nigga don't wanna see me." Honor laughed.
My brows dipped 'cause this nigga still saw me as the little nigga who needed his help to kick a habit.
"I'm not even on that fighting shit, but I'll whoop yo' ass if that's what you're on."
I paused, letting what I said breathe in case Honor wanted to test it.
"I ain't ever been scared of you, my nigga.
I spare you off the strength of our history but don't get it fucked up…
I'm still me, and you know what that comes with.
Niggas think 'cause I got a couch lady I see twice a week that I won't set it off on niggas.
Brother or not… Honor, I'll beat the fuck outta you, then help you off the ground and drive you home for Navy to patch you up. Stop playing with me, bro."
Whatever Chosyn rolled in that spliff had a nigga feeling vulnerable.
The high wrapped itself around my heart and pressed play, every beat louder than the last, reminding me of all the shit I kept buried because I didn't want to take it there with Honor.
Beefing with him felt crazy, but this shit between us was getting hard to ignore.
Everything I tried to outrun since he set foot in my house stood stiil and staring me dead in the face.
"That's your word?" Honor asked, rubbing his jaw.
"Nigga, fuck you think?" I shot back.
The room went quiet.
Honor's hand dropped from his jaw; his eyes locked on mine as if he were weighing his next move.
"Look," he started, letting out a tired breath. "If you got something you wanna get off your chest, do that shit now. Take advantage of the moment so we can move past this shit."
I swallowed hard, feeling exposed in a way I hadn't been since I broke down in Honor's arms all those years ago.
My couch lady has been teaching me how to sit with what I felt instead of acting on it, but this shit…
this was different. I thought smoking would help move the shit between Honor and me along, make it lighter, some we could joke our way through, but it did the opposite.
This new strand wasn't numbing like Chosyn's other weed.
Nah… this shit dug in. It was forcing me to be honest. Honest about the hurt.
Honest about the disappointment. Honest about staring at my brother and realizing I didn't know this nigga forreal.
What fucked me up even more was Honor looking back at me in the same way.
No smirk. No joke. No love. Just that weight in his eyes that made it clear this conversation wasn't something either of us could fake our way through.
"Fuck it," I said, running my hand down my face, mentally preparing myself for whatever came after I said my peace.