Chapter 20 Honey
Honey
Moonlight slipped through my living room window.
I glanced out the window, watching the city lights blur.
There were a million other places I could've been in this moment, yet I'd somehow worked my way into a penthouse that I owned.
Up here, the city shrank beneath me. I was big dawg up here and I loved it.
My home gave me the peace I had wished for as a child.
Back then, I thought this kind of luxury was too out of reach, especially if I didn't want it to be connected to a man.
Financial stability was the only thing I could count on growing up because love wasn't even a thought.
Did my mother love me? Probably, since she didn't abort me, but she loved dead presidents more.
I watched her hustle men for money, jewelry, and even my private school tuition.
All of her time, energy, and focus went to the men she used until I became of value.
Puberty hit at thirteen, and by sixteen, my stick figure boyish frame filled out.
My chest got fuller, my hips rounded, and my ass was the perfect upside-down heart.
What brought on the most attention were my toned, long legs and pillow-soft thighs.
I went from being five-foot-four to five-foot-ten and became that girl overnight. My mom took notice and advantage.
Keeping my eyes on the city lights, I folded my arms around my body, wanting to soften the sting of knowing love wasn't meant for someone like me.
"What I tell you 'bout standing in front of this big ass window in this shit?" Lynx's voice was the perfect blend of grit and velvet.
"What shit?" I played coy, knowing damn well he was talking about my skimpy robe.
"Playing games gon' get you hurt. You know I'm talkin' 'bout this short ass silk robe."
"It's satin," I corrected, catching his reflection in the glass. Together, we looked picture-perfect, but together we weren't. Lynx felt a way about my job, and that was stopping us from moving forward.
"Silk or satin… it's still too short for you to be in this window. All it takes is the wrong nigga looking up and seeing some that doesn't belong to him, and I'm turnin' this block out."
"We're all the way on the top floor. Nobody can see me."
"You think I care about semantics?" he asked.
"It never crossed my mind, but it should be obvious that I don't care." I smirked.
Heat simmered in his eyes, but it wasn't rage. It was territorial. My heart raced at the thought of belonging to someone, even if it was only for a moment.
"You hard-headed as fuck, you know that?"
"Your point?" I quizzed, narrowing my gaze. "Last I checked, I don't gotta answer to a man who's not mine."
"Was that 'posed to be cute or some?" His words weren't meant as a question. They were a challenge.
Lynx knew me. Not everything, but enough to know there wasn't a challenge I'd ever back down from. Pushing a nigga's buttons wasn't a game to me… it was foreplay.
"Cute is for… babies. I'm a woman. When you speak on me use adjectives like sexy… alluring… addictive."
Each word rolled off my tongue, smooth and precise as my robe teased its way down my shoulders.
"Addictive? That's a new one." Lynx's gaze clouded with smoky desire.
"How, when you're currently experiencing it?"
I let the corners of my lips curve. My gaze locked on his.
The robe slipped lower, brushing past my waist, resting at my round hips.
Lynx's eyes dipped, ogling my breasts. They weren't perky in the sense that I could leave the house without a bra.
They were full, heavy even, and irresistible.
Areolas dark like melted chocolate, nipples the size of Dot candies, they begged to be licked by something pink and wet.
Lynx's tongue swiped across his bottom lip.
"What am I experiencing?" he whispered, leaning into me, hands planted firmly on the window.
Naturally, Lynx's presence was overwhelming. Tonight, it became inescapable. My pulse stuttered, but I had zero plans on backing down.
"Withdrawals." For a moment, I broke our intense gaze. "I mean, that's why you came over this morning and the reason you're still here, right?"
"How you figure?" He smirked.
"I shared something with you that I normally don't share with anyone.
You seemed cool with my business, then you switched up.
Stopped responding to texts, picked and chose when to answer my calls.
The only thing that stayed consistent was us fucking.
I'd like to think it's because you're addicted.
My pussy is a drug… the purest, that raw shit that makes a nigga act out of character," I breathed, covering the hurt with lust. "Which brings us to the reason you're here… withdrawals are a bitch."
I slow-rolled my hips against him until my friend stiffened beneath his sweats.
Lynx's dick wasn't in my top five, but he came in at like eight, which was cool with me.
What his stroke lacked in rhythm, he made up for in girth, and how well he ate my pussy and swiped his tongue between my ass cheeks.
I've never had a man eat my ass until Lynx.
He did it so well, I even let him stick the tip of his middle finger in my booty a few times.
"It's cute you think what you do is a business when it's liable to get you killed before it makes you rich."
"Aww, you care."
I gently cupped my titties, pushing them upward and tucking my chin until I was able to glide my tongue across my nipples.
I teased myself watching Lynx's every move.
His eyes lowered, a calm settling over him like he'd finally caught the high he'd been chasing.
Lynx focused on the way my tongue lapped my nipples.
It didn't take long for him to slap my hands away and replace them with his own.
"I'm not worried about being rich." I kept talking because this was a battle for control, and Lynx wanted me to surrender. All I wanted was his trust. Our motives clashed, but the lustful chemistry brewing was too loud to ignore.
"Bullshit, everyone wants to be rich."
"True, but my business has already made me wealthy," I said, fighting off a moan. His fingers toyed with my nipples, rolling and pinching, sending a wave of heat rippling through my pussy.
"Sounds like a good reason to bow out before you lose everything. Look, I'm not tryin' to control you, Honey. I just want the best for you. I can be that, but you gotta chill on what you got goin' on. Put that energy into something else."
"Why would I do that? We've known each other for a year, give or take?"
"Some like that."
"So why are we still going in circles? The concept of a fuck buddy isn't new to me.
I know how that situation works. I wanted this…
us to be something more, so I opened up.
Being a street nigga, I thought you'd understand, but I felt judged by you.
My hands were too dirty for you to date me, but not dirty enough for you to stop fucking me. "
"Honey—" he started, but I didn't let him finish.
I slapped his hands away and faced him, not caring about how wild I looked. Titties out, nipples pebbled, and pussy pooling. None of it mattered because feelings I've locked away for years broke open and demanded to be heard.
"Let me get this out. Telling me I need to stop doing what I've done since I was like seventeen sounds a lot like control.
It's a stipulation. If I give it up, I can have you, but if I don't, I only get dick and a wet ass.
That's not fair to me. I shouldn't be punished for being honest." I blinked fast, refusing to let tears fall.
There's only been one man worth my tears, and Lynx wasn't him.
"You shouldn't be punished, and if you feel like that's what I'm doing, then I apologize."
I wasn't used to people apologizing, so hearing it from Lynx left me feeling weird. I reached out, tugging at the waistband of his sweats, wanting to shift the moment before it swallowed me.
"It's fine, Lynx let's just—"
"Stop," he snapped. "Don't overshadow your feelings with sex.
What you have going on is dangerous. I'm in deep as fuck with Crown and his brothers.
These niggas out here stacking enemies like Tetris and don't realize it.
I can't focus on that shit if I'm worried about you in Philly setting niggas up.
I've been telling you to make a choice, but a nigga hasn't gone anywhere.
I'm still here waiting and pleading 'cause when I look at you, I see a future I can be proud of.
Kids that got your brown eyes and my dimples.
I wanna do shit the right way, but it's hard knowing you might not make it back to me. "
"I hear you." My fingers trembled at my side as my eyes broke from his.
"I don't care if you hear me." Lynx caught my chin like he needed my eyes on him. Pressing in closer, he continued. "All I care about is what you plan to do. We can make things official right here… right now, but I need you to stop that other shit."
His voice crooned against my skin, gentle and intimate. I went numb.
"Honey," his breath dragged across my neck, "I want you, but I can't have you moving shiesty in these streets."
"Technically, I'm not moving in these streets. Any job I do is always out of state."
"I don't give a fuck. Niggas are grimy everywhere," he gritted, dragging his hand down my neck. His palm swallowed my neck, fingers digging in just enough to steal my breath.
He let go, and I inhaled, ready to tell him I'll wrap things up in three months if it meant I'd have a real chance at love. Before I could get a word out, my phone rang. Not my personal phone, but my business line.
"Business calls," Lynx scoffed and backed away.
I closed my robe, rolled my eyes, and answered.
"Talk."
"Come outside for me," the familiar voice said.
"Hon—"
"Come outside, I'm parked on the corner," he cut in.
"Give me five."
"Bet."
I hung up and headed toward my bedroom to get dressed.