Chapter 2
Two
Navy Achebe
"I… he kissed me and… I don't know," I exhaled slowly. "The liquor had me feeling nice, and anything that was bothering me didn't matter anymore. Not the kids I aborted. Not the one I gave up. Not Honor. Not him kissing Choyce… nothing mattered," I mumbled.
A dry snicker followed as my shoulders lifted into a small shrug. "Choyce kissed Honor, so when Solace kissed me, I didn't pull away. Part of me was evening the score, and another part liked how it felt to be wanted."
"Honor wants you, Navy," Chosyn said.
"Honor needs me. There's a difference. The way Solace kissed me was—"
My words fell as the feel of his lips ghosted over mine. Heat curled low in my stomach, my clit throbbing in angst to dance one more tango with his tongue.
"The kiss was different."
"You're used to being kissed by one man, so of course kissing someone new is going to feel different."
"You're not listening, Chosyn. The kiss wasn't different because it wasn't with Honor.
It was different because it wasn't needy.
It wasn't about strength or reassurance passing from me into him.
Solace didn't gain anything from it. It was just a kiss that made me feel like I was floating and sinking at the same time. "
"Navy," Chosyn whispered.
"I know." I sighed, feeling ashamed that I had let a stranger pull me off my square.
"I wasn't thinking. I was drunk off 1942 and high off his energy, and honestly, I didn't care.
One thing led to another, and he ended up with his face between my thighs and Chosyn…
" My bottom lip folded between my teeth.
"I've never in my life had my pussy ate so good." I shuddered.
Chosyn's eyebrows pulled together, and I laughed.
"Then he started talking to my pussy and calling it pretty. He was forreal talking to my pussy and expecting an answer back."
"Wait, you said he talked to it?" she asked, blinking like she couldn't believe it.
"Yeah, why?"
"Wolfe said a prayer while eating my pussy for the first time, and you see how that ended for us."
"Yeah, but y'all were going to be together whether he did that or not," I told her, thinking back to the promise Solace made with Pretty. "What I did isn't happening again, so it's whatever."
"I hope the fuck not. We're still in the honeymoon phase of our friendship. I'm not ready for you to be outta my life," Chosyn stated, crossing her arms.
"Why would I be out of your life?" I asked.
"You think Honor would let you live if he finds out you're just giving it out?"
"First, I'm not giving it out. Solace gave, I received. Second, I doubt Honor would hurt me."
"I never said he would," Chosyn replied. "Your days of being a free woman would be over, tho. Honor's crazy enough to lock your ass away and never let you see the light of day or the dark of night unless you're handcuffed to him."
"Honor wouldn't go that far." I tittered, trying to play it off, but Chosyn narrowed her stare.
"See, you've been in love with that nigga so long you don't even see the way he watches you.
"And how does he look at me?" I asked.
"Watch, Navy, not look because merely looking at you isn't enough for a man like Honor," Chosyn explained, shaking her head.
"Honor worships you. While we pray to God and hum hymns, I'd bet my entire business, Honor prays to you.
When he hums, it's not hymns. It's the pitter-patter of your heartbeat.
To him, you're the beginning and the end. "
Chosyn paused, and I let out a shaky breath as her words sank in.
"I bet he tells you poetic stuff like… there's no me without you. Life ain't worth living if you're not here with me."
I swallowed, a chill running down my spine.
"I'll die before I do life without you." It trembled out of me — Honor's favorite thing to say when he wanted me to understand the depth of his love.
"See?" Chosyn said. "These Gravehart men don't love the way regular ass niggas do. Everything with them is heightened, felt deep in their soul."
"Right and Honor has loved me since we were kids," I noted, talking more to myself than her.
"Exactly. What he feels for you goes beyond rational logic.
You mean everything to that man. You ground him, and in return, he breathes you.
" She paused, then added, "Wolfe is the same way with me, but it works because I inhale him in all the same ways he inhales me.
We're equally insane about each other, so it never feels like I'm crumbling under his emotional weight. "
Chosyn's eyes softened.
"I know things are weird and heavy between y'all, but Navy… if you're not happy, then you should figure out what you wanna do."
"It's not that I'm not happy." I sighed. "I love Honor, but part of me is tired of being the thing he needs. I'm tired of grounding him when he's distant and tired of speaking life into him when he's drained."
Chosyn nodded. "That's a lot, especially when you've been doing it for so long."
"It's not a lot," I quietly replied. "It's my whole identity at this point. I live for him, breathe for him, laugh for him, love for him. For every time he believes he's broken, I come behind him and fix it. I'm his angel… but I'm also the extinguisher to his flames."
I flipped my gaze upward, blinking hard to keep the tears from falling.
"I own and work at the group home he lived at because of the life he, Crown, and Wolfe had there.
Before meeting Honor, I wanted to be a dance teacher and own a studio.
Not—" I stopped myself. "I love every one of the boys at Gravehart Homes, but I never thought my life would consist of piecing broken people back together. "
"Damn," Chosyn hummed.
"And that's why… when Solace kissed me, it felt different. I wasn't pouring life into him, fixing him, or grounding him. I was just me, and he was just him."
"I can't say I understand because I don't, but I do know being with Honor is a choice. You don't have to stay, but if you want to, then you can't let Solace—"
"I know," I quipped, unsure if I meant it or just wanted the conversation to end.
"Damn," Chosyn laughed softly. "I can't believe you let a stranger eat your pussy in the bathroom,
"Can you not be so loud?" I hushed her, rolling my eyes.
"Sorry, I'm just shocked because nothing about you gives I'm having my way with niggas."
"Then what does it give?" I asked. A small smile tugged at my lips, happy that the conversation had changed.
"Very much let me run your bathwater, whatever you desire, I'll supply ya," she sang off-key, grinning.
"Bitch, I do not give—"
The door swung open, and I froze, then turned toward it once I didn't hear footsteps. The second I saw Honor, panic punched me in my chest.
"What happened?"
Chosyn didn't catch it, and I didn't expect her to.
She looked between Honor and me, trying to figure out what felt so alarming in the space between us.
What I saw in his eyes was a language only I was fluent in.
Lucian raised Honor to be ruthless, to have thick skin, and to never let anyone see him broken.
With me, Honor was always broken, and his cracks waited for me to fill them with love.
Honor's dark eyes seared into mine. I held his gaze, half empty yet half full with what he needed for his soul to be at ease.
His face was drained, and something about his slumped posture set off alarms in my head because Honor never slouched unless the weight of his world had become too much.
He needed me. He wore the look that came right before he mumbled my name, followed by I need to hear you say it.
I stood from the chair behind his desk and rushed to him, cupping his face in my hands. "Honor, what happened?"
His chin dipped low enough for his eyes to simmer over mine.
"I need to—"
His gaze dropped, then his hands closed around my wrists, pulling my hands from his face like they didn't belong there.
"Honor I—"
"Shhh!" He hushed, lifting his hand to my chin.
Left. Right. Left.
He turned my face, examining me up close, then leaned in, pressing a soft kiss on my collarbone. His teeth nicked my skin as his hand slid from my chin to my neck.
"Honor," I breathed, shuddering.
He pulled back, bringing his eyes to meet mine again.
"Why are you in my office, Navy?"
"Huh?"
"Why are you in my office?" he repeated in a flat and controlled voice.
"I… I—"
Panic set in as my mind raced, wondering if he knew.
If he'd already seen the footage, because the man standing in front of me wasn't the Honor who pulled me close and waited for me to whisper, I love you.
This was the Honor Lucian raised, closed off, and unreadable.
His eyes stayed on me, waiting for an answer I didn't have to give.
"Navy had too much to drink and didn't want to be around all those people anymore, so I brought her in here," Chosyn smoothly cut in. "We didn't go to the hotel because the twins and River still wanted to party. I watched them from your desk while Navy tried to sleep the liquor off."
Honor's eyes shifted to Chosyn, then back to me.
"Chosyn, give me the room."
"Oh, uh… yeah. Navy, are you still staying the night at my house?"
"No."
"Yeah."
Our responses hit at the same time.
"Yeah?" he echoed.
"That was the plan before I knew you were on your way here."
"Change your plans then," Honor asserted, his presence swallowing the space between us. "You're coming home."
"You don't get to decide how my night ends because you're in a mood."
He replied calmly, a little too calmly, "I need you."
"I get that, and while I'm in this office, you have me, but once I leave, I'm going with Chosyn," I stated firmly.
"It's your world, Navy." He smirked before his eyes slid past me. "Chosyn, you can wait for her outside. She won't be long."