Chapter 13
Thirteen
Honor Gravehart
Iwalked into the facility feeling like at any moment niggas were gon' jump out with a syringe in one hand and a straitjacket in the other.
Coming here wasn't on my list of things to do today, but after Crown texted me to say he'd made the appointment, I didn't have much of a choice.
I had to keep my word, since he was keeping his by not telling Wolfe anything about what we had going on.
I loved my little nigga, but he was too inquisitive to stand by my side and not ask the questions he already knew the answers to but needed to hear them from me.
That wasn't to say Crown was dumb, but he was the type to play whimsically obtuse until shit was in his face and he couldn't deny it.
I wasn't mentally prepared to tell either of them the full truth because I knew it'd hurt them far worse than anything I've ever done in my past.
"Excuse me, sir, is there anything I can help you with?" A small woman dressed in white scrubs asked, stepping into my path.
"Uh, yeah, I have an appointment with Crown's couch lady."
The woman's entire face scrunched up, and I couldn't help but laugh at how dumb that shit sounded.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, shaking my head. "My brother made the appointment, but I didn't catch the name of the therapist I'm supposed to meet with."
"What's your brother's name?" she asked, swiping across the screen of her iPad.
"Cortez Gravehart."
"Oh, I should've known." She snickered. "Cortez is very popular around here. He puts a smile on all of our patients' and staff's faces."
"Are we talking about the same Cortez?" I joked.
"Yes. He was a delight while staying here, and now that he only comes in once a month for in-person sessions, he stays a while to check on everyone.
That goes a long way in a place like this.
Most of the patients don't have family, and the staff gets so wrapped up in the job that we often go without people asking if we're okay. "
I smiled proudly, knowing Crown was out here bringing joy into people's lives.
"In that case, how are you?" I asked.
"Better than yesterday and that's all that matters.
" She smiled then glanced down at her iPad again.
"Cortez made you an appointment for two o'clock.
You still have a few minutes before your session starts.
If you'd like, I can give you a tour of the facility, or you can have a seat in the waiting area. We have snacks, coffee, and water."
"I'll take the waiting room."
"Not a problem. Follow me."
I followed who I assumed to be a nurse down a long hallway and through a door that led into a room that looked more like a lounge than a waiting room.
"I'll be back in a few to take you to your therapy room. Cortez picked it out for you."
"I appreciate it…" I paused, realizing we never exchanged names. "I didn't catch your name."
"That's because I didn't throw it." She giggled, then snorted softly. Her eyes widened like she couldn't believe the sound came from her body. "I am so sorry. That doesn't happen often, only when I say something that I think is funny."
"It's fine. We all snort once or twice in our lives. I'm Honor."
"Wow," she blinked, catching eyes with me, "what a strong name for such a handsome and well-built man."
Her eyes roamed over me freely, and by the time they reached mine, realization set in.
"Oh my god, did I—"
"You did, but it's cool," I told her, amused. It was clear she was on the younger side and hadn't learned the art of allowing her thoughts to remain thoughts.
"The name is more of a burden than a strength, but I appreciate the admiration."
"I hate you feel that way about a name that seemingly fits."
"It happens." I shrugged.
"I know a thing or two about heavy names. I'm Bronwynn, but most people call me Wynn."
"Your parents must've known you were destined for greatness."
Her smile faltered.
"Actually, the opposite," she responded, brushing it off quickly. "You can have a seat, and I'll go grab the new patient forms to get you started."
Wynn didn't give me a chance to respond before she sped off. I shrugged off the feeling that she wasn't okay and took a seat. My phone buzzed with a text from Crown.
Crown
You made it to the Wellness Institute?
Me
I'm grown as fuck. I don't need a check in text.
Crown
That's more of a reason to send your ass one. Be nice to Dr. Lockhart.
Me
I'm always nice. I was just nice to some girl named Wynn who snorted 'cause she thought some corny shit she said was funny.
Crown
Be easy on Wynn. She's a little shy and nerdy.
Me
I ain't bother that girl.
A text from Chosyn asking if she could call me caught my eye. Instead of texting her back, I called.
"You good?" I asked the second she answered.
"Yes, I'm fine." She laughed. "Let me find out you care about me, Honor."
"Wolfe loves you, so I care about you."
"That's nice to know." She paused as her voice turned serious. "I need you to tell me what happened with Choyce while she was living with Lucian."
"What makes you think something happened to her?"
"She said Lucian used to beat her whenever Talon stayed out with his boyfriends… and that Chance would join in. She was only twelve when she went to live in that fucking house."
The grit in Chosyn's tone messed my head up because I knew it too fucking well. She wasn't asking out of curiosity. She asked because she wanted to fix something that couldn't be undone.
"By the time Choyce got there, I wasn't in the house anymore."
"But you were still going back," she pushed out between shallow breaths.
"Why not just ask Choyce what happened? She'd know better than I would."
"She won’t tell me," Chosyn snapped. "She told me about the beatings, but when I hinted at Lucian or Talon touching her before she was of age, she shut it down. But something happened to my sister, Honor, and I need to know what it was."
"I don't know anything about what might've happened, but I can ask her if you want."
"Would you please, tonight?"
"I don't know about—"
"I wouldn't ask if it weren't important."
"I'm at an appointment. I'll go holla at Choyce after I leave here."
"Thank you!"
"It's nothing."
Hanging up with Chosyn, I ran a hand over my face.
"Honor, if you could come with me."
I looked up and found Wynn peeking her head into the room.
"I'm coming," I told her and stood up.
On the way out of the waiting room, I grabbed a bag of chips and popped them open in the hallway.
"Okay, so these forms are pretty straightforward. If you have any questions when filling them out, you can let your therapist know. Other than that, you're all set to go. You can wait in our starry night therapy room, which is right here."
Wynn stepped around me and opened the door to a therapy room.
"Go ahead," she urged.
I walked inside, and that shit felt like I'd walked straight into the middle of the night's sky.
The lights were dim, and the ceiling glowed with tiny stars.
Blue and violet specks scattered across it like my presence had cracked open the universe, and it was spilling out in this room.
In the corner of the room, a projector cast slow-moving constellations that drifted across the walls.
The room smelled of lavender, adding to the calm ambiance.
"You can have a seat if you want," Wynn offered. "It's totally up to you, though."
"Those chairs?" I asked, nodding to the only two in the room.
They sat across from each other with a small table between them, holding a box of tissues and a glass bowl filled with peppermints.
"Yes, those chairs," Wynn giggled, "preferably the one with the throw blanket."
I nodded and took a seat, awkward as hell, and still trying to figure out what all of this was supposed to do for me.
Agreeing to see Crown's couch lady happened 'cause I needed him.
No real thought went into it, and now that stars and silence surrounded me, regret was starting to creep in like a muthafucka.
"You said Cortez picked this room?" I asked Wynn.
"Uh, yeah. We have a few different rooms set up because not everyone who comes here finds peace in the same things."
"Makes sense."
Only Crown would think I needed to be amongst the stars to get some shit off my chest.
"Before I leave, I would like to share something with you if that's okay," Wynn nervously stated.
"If you gon' talk to me, you gotta learn how to look me in the eye."
Wynn's gaze flickered up to mine.
"Stand with confidence so nobody can ever question that shit. Head up and shoulders back." I leaned forward, keeping my voice low yet firm. "I'm sure you heard the saying eyes are the windows to your soul."
"Yes, I have."
"Good. Keep emotion out of yours 'cause people will use it against you long before they try to understand it."
Wynn blinked at me like she wasn't expecting that but still straightened her posture. Her shoulders rolled back, and her chin rose a little higher. She held my gaze as she wore a look of pride.
"Thank you for the advice. Hopefully mine can be just as helpful."
"Let's hear it."
Wynn nodded, then swallowed. Her fingers fidgeted at the hem of her scrub top before she forced them still.
"I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to perform here."
"Perform?" I frowned.
"I mean, you don't gotta be tough or charming here. That's one of the things I love about the Crimson Falls Wellness Institute. The therapists make it okay to not be okay. All that's asked of you is honesty, and even that can be given at a pace that works best for you."
I stared at her, jaw clenched because my body didn't know how to sit still in a room where I wasn't protecting somebody.
"You say that like you've met me before." I laughed, forcing it so she wouldn't see just how fucked-up I really was.
"I've met men like you," she answered. "My father was a man like you. He walked around carrying the weight of everybody else's pain and neglected his own."
"Was?" I asked, my smile fading.