Chapter 26 #2
Navy turned, eyes locking onto mine, measuring every micro movement in my face and searching for a lie before I told it.
"What'd she apologized for?"
"Kissing you… flirting… trying to make me feel like I was crazy for thinking she wanted you. You know, the same things you told me I had nothing to worry about."
"And I meant that shit. Same way I meant that I'll die before I do life without you."
Her brows pulled together. "What does that have to do with anything?"
I leaned back, shrugging like we both weren't toeing the line. "You tell me. Sounds like you got some you wanna get off your chest."
"Not unless you're gonna ask the question," she shot back.
A slow smirk pulled at my lips. She wanted me to say it.
She wanted me to drag whatever ghost was standing between us into the light and force it to take the shape of our secrets.
I wasn't doing that shit 'cause once you drag it into the light, you gotta decide what to do with it.
I preferred to keep dancing blindly in the dark and pretending the room wasn't shrinking with us in it.
"How did things go in Brooklyn?" she asked.
"Cool."
Her frown deepened. "I may not have grown up in the house full-time with Lucian, but he is my father. Do you really think I don't know why you went to Brooklyn?"
"If you know, then say that shit. Fuck is up with you beating around bushes?"
"I wouldn't have to if you would just be honest with me. When did we start lying and keeping shit from each other?"
"Around the same time, you started bitching about the way I love you, like I haven't been loving you the same fucking way for over twenty years!"
"Whatever, Honor," she scoffed, pulling a t-shirt from my drawer. "Keep deflecting."
"I'm not fucking deflecting."
"You are," she accused, shaking her head. "Is it really that hard for you to be honest?"
"Fine!" The word snapped out of me. "I'm taking over for Lucian."
The shift in her face was pure disappointment. She didn't even try to hide it.
"Congratulations," she flatly stated.
"For what?" I huffed, swinging my legs off the edge of the bed.
"For becoming the monster, you promised me you'd never be. For becoming the fucking man you—"
I moved quick as fuck, closing the space between us before she could finish that bullshit. I backed her against the wall, hands braced on either side of her head, caging her in.
"Watch your mouth," I warned, voice booming with anger. "You might not understand why now, but you will when the time's right. I'm doing this shit for us."
Her teeth kissed as she glared at me, eyes blazing, "Nothing about this is for us. This is all about you."
"Navy, are you fucking hearing me?"
"I hear you, and I hear how dumb you fucking sound. This can't be for us because I don't fucking want it. I don't want anything to do with the Mancinelli Mafia, and I don't want it for fucking you! All I ever wanted was us, me and you, that's it. I thought it was enough for you, but—"
"It is," I gritted.
"It's fucking not! If it were, you wouldn't have sold your fucking soul to the devil."
My jaw flexed hard enough to ache. "That's what you don't understand, Navy.
I am the fucking devil. That thing that goes bump in the night?
That's me. I shook the hands of four men yesterday who looked me in the eye at your brother's funeral and said they would never follow a negrone who isn't a drop of their blood.
You know what I did after I made sure you were away from the columbarium? Huh?" I barked.
Her voice barely held. "What?"
"I fucking killed them, Navy, not with a gun but with a fucking machete.
I strung all four of 'em up, chopped their fucking heads off, then rolled them onto the table for members of a secret fucking society to see.
You can't save me from the devil 'cause I am that muthafucka.
Why do you think I call you my angel in hell? "
All the bass left her voice. "I'm not perfect."
"I don't need you to be. You're perfect for me. You keep me grounded, Navy."
"How, when you did the one thing I never wanted you to do? You weren't thinking about me."
"I'm always thinking about you."
"You're selfish!"
"Not with you, not with your heart, and not when it comes to protecting you."
"Protecting me from what?"
"Your father."
"Fuck him!" She yelled. "Kill him for all I care!"
"I will when the time is right."
"So until then, you're just gonna take over his empire? What's the plan?"
"I can't tell you."
"Honor," she gritted.
Pressing my lips to hers, I fed her my answer. "I can't tell you, Navy."
She pulled back, eyes glossy but furious. "You never kept things from me, and now it's all you do."
For a second, neither of us moved. The room felt too small for emotions this big. Too tight for everything breaking between us, for the miscommunication, but this was how it had to be.
"I could say the same about you."
Her eyes flickered, but she didn't look away. My tongue swiped across my bottom lip as I stepped back, finally giving her space.
"Regardless of how you feel about me," I steadily voiced. "I love you."
I waited to hear it back, but she didn't speak. Her expression didn't soften. She just let her silence speak for her.
"I love you, Navy," I repeated.
I grabbed my phone and walked out of the bedroom. The hallway felt long as hell, but it was only because I was leaving my heart in the room to cry alone. My phone buzzed before I hit the stairs.
Lucian:
Family dinner. My house on Sunday at 6 pm. Bring the whole family, Wolfe, Crown, and their spouses. We're celebrating your new role and welcoming your family into mine.
I locked my phone and kept moving, already counting down the days until this shit was over.