Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
Navy Achebe
"Why you always here now?" Mekhi asked after a few moments of silent chewing.
Since I've been at work every day for the past week, Mekhi has made it a habit to eat breakfast in my office instead of with the other kids. The first day, he tried to eat all three meals with me, but I nipped that in the bud before the other kids started thinking I was playing favorites.
"I work here." I laughed, trying to make a joke out of what was clearly a serious question from a kid who wasn't asking just to fill the silence.
"I mean, why have you been sleeping here for the last week?"
"Oh," I mumbled, suddenly at a loss for words.
My emotions were still raw from my argument with Honor, and since I'd thrown myself into work, I didn't give myself time to process anything that had happened. Not beyond making sure the handprint on the front of my neck stayed covered.
"It's cool, Ms. Navy," Mekhi smiled, "I just thought since you're always there for me with my problems. I could repay the favor."
"Who said I'm having problems?"
"Your behavior." He shrugged like that was the most obvious answer.
"What do you know about behaviors?"
"Wolfe said, when you care about someone, it's important to pay attention to the things they say and the things they won't say. I care about you, so I pay attention."
"Oh, yeah?" I leaned back in my chair. "What does my behavior tell you?"
"That you're sad. You walk around like you always do, but when you laugh with the other kids, we can tell it's fake."
"And how do you know that?"
"It doesn't sound the same," he shrugged. "I know nothing about heartbreak, but maybe that's what you're dealing with."
His eyes softened. His voice turned pillowy the same way his father's voice did whenever he noticed something was wrong. I let out a sigh, realizing just how much Mekhi was every bit of Honor.
"My heart isn't broken," I finally said.
"Are you sure? Wolfe and I can beat up whoever did it."
That made me genuinely laugh.
"I'm sure, and you're not supposed to be fighting. You're better than that."
"I know." He grinned, cleaning up the last of his avocado toast topped with a boiled egg and bacon bits. "But for you, I'll make an exception."
"Don't worry about me." I told him as he stood. "Just focus on that test you have today in science."
"I don't have to take it."
"Why not?"
"At the beginning of the year, Mr. James was getting on another kid about messing up something on the periodic table. I told Mr. James it wasn't his job to criticize but to teach what we don't know."
I frowned.
"I said it politely, Ms. Navy, chill on me," he added quickly. "Mr. James didn't like what I had to say, so he started asking me questions. I answered a few of them and told him if he wanted to keep going, I needed some kind of incentive."
"Let me guess." I sighed. "You got out of all quizzes for the year?"
"Not the year, just this quarter."
"Mekhi, as proud as I am of you for sticking up for another student, you shouldn't interfere with how the teacher handles situations in his class."
"I get that, but Wolfe said if you don't stand for something, you're gonna fall for anything. I decided to stand up for Ryis because I know what it feels like to not have anyone stand up for me when I needed it."
"Well," I softened. "I hope Ryis was appreciative."
"He was." Mekhi smiled as he headed for the door. "I'll see you after school, Ms. Navy. Have a better day today than you had yesterday."
"You too."
Kids were supposed to be the ones who needed protection, yet here Mekhi was trying to protect me.
I watched him walk out of my office, then grabbed my phone to text Wolfe.
Me
As much as I love that you're looking out for Mekhi, when he comes to you about certain things, please loop me in. He's already younger than most kids in his grade because he skipped. He shouldn’t be sparring with his teachers.
I hit send, set my phone down, and logged into my computer. I busied myself with emails until my office phone rang.
"Yes, Tamera."
"I just wanted to let you know Chosyn is here to see you."
"Tell her I'm in a meeting and I'll call her back."
"So, you are mad at me?" Chosyn sulked from the doorway with Nix strapped to her chest.
"Thank you, Tamera," I said as I placed the phone back on the receiver.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, standing and rounding my desk so I could grab Nix.
"I came to talk."
"If I wanted to talk, I would've answered one of your thousands of phone calls," I huffed, carefully lifting Nix from the carrier. "Got my baby out early in the morning for no reason."
Nix settled against my chest the same way she had against her mom seconds earlier. Instead of sitting behind my desk, I walked over to my bay window and sank onto the chaise leaning against the frame.
"You're a good reason for me to pack up my baby and come see you."
"I guess."
"You say it like we're not friends."
"Are we?" I shot back. "Because friends usually tell each other when someone fucked their man."
Chosyn's face tightened as she sat in a chair by my desk.
"That someone is my sister. What did you expect me to say?"
"The truth," I hissed through clenched teeth so that I wouldn't startle Nix.
"Like you told me the truth about you going to my sister's house and slicing her neck because of a funky ass kiss?"
I let out a dry laugh and shifted Nix higher on my chest.
"So now a kiss is something small? Let me go kiss Wolfe, and you'd be on my ass. Matter of fact, you checked me twice over my tone when it came to Wolfe, but I'm supposed to let Choyce kiss on my man because she's your sister?" I frowned.
Chosyn reached across my desk and grabbed my office phone.
"Tamera, can you come to Navy's office, please?"
A few seconds later, she stepped in.
"Tamera, do you mind taking Nix for me? She's already fed and might be ready for a nap," Chosyn said.
I eyed her. "What? Am I not good enough to hold your daughter?"
"Navy, please with the dramatics. I asked her to take Nix because she doesn't need to hear us arguing when she's trying to fall asleep."
"Fine," I huffed and handed Nix over. "If she falls asleep, you can lay her down in the pack and play I have folded up in the spare room at the end of the hall on the second floor."
"No problem," Tamera said, cradling Nix.
"Oh, and close the door behind you," Chosyn added.
Tamera nodded and closed the door.
"Okay. Whatever needs to be said, we're both going to say it right here and right now.
When we open that door," she nodded toward it, we let go of everything said in this room.
I love you like a sister, Navy, and I refuse to choose between you and Choyce.
I want you both in my life, even if I have to keep y'all separate. "
I didn't respond right away. Instead, I toyed with the buttons on my blouse.
Chosyn was the closest thing I had to a sister.
River and the other girls were cool, but Chosyn was the one I confided in.
I opened up to her about my feelings toward my relationship, and she repeatedly told me that Honor would never step out on me.
Now I couldn't help but wonder if she was saying that while knowing he was fucking Choyce.
"Navy," she muttered, "ask whatever you wanna know."
"How long have you known?"
"I wasn't counting the days—"
"Chosyn!" I snapped.
"I don't know weeks, but maybe less than a month."
"So you knew as soon as it happened?"
"Yeah. After I hung up with you that morning Honor didn't go home, I called him and heard Choyce in his background."
"I guess I can't be too mad," I muttered, "since I cheated first. He told me he slept with her because she made him feel like a man."
Chosyn frowned. "Are you sure that's what he said, or is that just what you heard?"
"Bitch, did you talk to him before coming here?" I asked, grimacing.
"No, I didn't. I only asked because I talked to Choyce and—"
"I don't want to hear anything that bitch had to say. She's lucky my hands were the only thing I put on her hoe ass."
"I'm gonna chalk that up to you being in your feelings," she said with a low chuckle.
"Please don't. Take it as the threat I meant it as."
"Navy, I literally just said I didn't want to choose between y'all."
"And I'm not asking you to, but don't act like if this was anyone else you wouldn't be hyping me up to lay a bitch down behind my man."
"I wouldn't."
"Bullshit! You still fuck with Dreka just to see if she'll take the bait because you're bored."
"That's different."
"It's not. I get Choyce is your sister, and you wanna be two peas in a pod again, but this is my real fucking life she messed up."
"Did she mess it up, or did she force you to realize what it really is between you and Honor?"
"If you're gonna play obtuse about every fucking thing, you can leave. I need my friend, not a bitch who can't call it like it is."
"Call me another bitch," she warned.
I stood from the chaise and cleared the space between us. Chosyn's short ass stood up too, staring me in the eye.
"Bitch," I said, letting it roll off my tongue easily.
Her tongue crossed her lips. When it came back, the tip of a blade flashed between them.
"Keep playing with me like I'm two days short of Friday." She smirked.
"Whatever." I laughed, dropping back behind my desk.
"Can we have a real conversation now? Or do you still wanna play this game where I'm to blame?"
"I prefer to blame you." I smirked.
"I bet you do. Now, like I was saying before, you started letting bitch fly all crazy. I get what Honor did hurts, and who he did it with doesn't make it any better. I feel for you."
"But," I said, rolling her eyes.
"No but. You have every right to feel how you feel.
All I was saying is you've been feeling away about Honor for a while.
You think his love is too intense, that he's too needy, and can't love you how you want to be loved.
Maybe the two of you have grown apart. Maybe his slip-up with Choyce and yours with Solace is some kind of sign that you both need to give the other space. "
"He choked me, Chosyn." I sighed.
Everything I'd shoved down for the last week started clawing its way back up. "It wasn't some sexy I'm in control choke. That nigga really tried to kill me."
"Honor would never—"
"He would."
My eyes closed, and my mind raced back to Thanksgiving, the first time I met Chosyn. We were in our room talking about Chosyn when Honor mentioned the way Wolfe looked at me.
"That nigga looks at you like he wants to bend you the fuck over and pipe you down," he said. "You want that nigga to pipe you down, Navy?"
"This pussy…" he continued, handcuffing my pussy, thumb pressing into my clit, "is mine. Let another nigga breathe on it and what daddy gon' do?"
"Kill me," I cooed.
"Let another nigga sniff it and what's daddy gon' do?"
"Kill me."
He did all that over his brother, so it wasn't as surprising to me as it was to Chosyn that he really tried to take my life with his bare hands.
"That's even more reason for the two of you to take some time apart," Chosyn advised once I opened my eyes. "Neither of you knows life without the other and hasn't lived without the other being a concern."
"We don’t really have a choice now." I shrugged. "I'm not staying at the house."
"Where have you been?"
"Here."
"You sleep at your job?" She frowned. "Come stay at the house with Wolfe and me."
"No. Things are already complicated. I don't want to make them worse by staying there, and then Choyce shows up."
"But you can't stay here."
"I'll be fine."
"Stay with River."
"I don't wanna be anywhere Honor has access to."
"Doesn't he have the keys for here?"
"No," I shook my head. "He never wanted them. Honor wouldn't bring drama here because of the kids, so I'm safe here."
Chosyn studied me for a moment. "How long do you think he's going to give you?"
"I don't know, but if he were smart, he'll leave me the fuck alone."
"Well, if you won't come to my house, at least let me and the girls take you to dinner. They're worried about you."
"I know. River's been blowing up my email. The twins have been threatening my life for not responding, and Honey has hinted at kidnapping." I laughed softly. "Threats seem to be the only way we know how to show love."
"Maybe," Chosyn chuckled. "So, dinner tonight?"
"I can't. I'm having an early dinner with the new basketball coach, then I have to go meet with the detectives about my father's house and the mill burning down. I've been avoiding them all week, but my mom called yesterday saying they showed up at her house."
Chosyn's brows furrowed. "When did the mill burn down?"
"Wolfe didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Honor killed Lucian. He killed my father, then came home and tried to kill me."
A laugh slipped out of me because… the irony.
Two weeks ago, I lost my brother. Last week I lost my father. And this week, I was pretty sure I'd be forced to officially end things with the only man I've ever loved and possibly cut my own life short.
"I'm sorr—"
"Don't be," I cut her off. "Lucian deserved it."
"Trust me, I know," Chosyn softly agreed, "but he's still your father. At some point, you loved him."
"Yeah," I muttered. "Loving the wrong men must be part of my DNA."
Chosyn looked like she wanted to say something more but changed her mind.
For the rest of the morning, we sat in my office.
Sometimes we talked, but mostly Chosyn just stayed while I worked and tried to pretend my life wasn't literally falling apart.
And the whole time I prayed that running out on Honor was enough of a message for him to understand that we were done.
But the truth was, Honor wasn't the kind of man who let something go just because it wanted to be free.