Chapter 31 #2
Lucian chuckled low under his breath and tossed his attention back to me.
"You know what always fascinated me about you, Honor?"
I didn't answer because Lucian didn't need me to.
"You spent all these years hating me but never asked why I picked you."
"Why?" I muttered.
The chains shifted when he leaned back against the wall. "Do you remember your father?"
The question landed like a brick on my stomach. "What do you know about my father?"
His chin lifted toward me. "I'm the reason he's dead."
His words didn't hit like anger. They pulled me in like gravity.
"You probably don't remember that day, but that's what I'm here for."
His voice slowed like he was reaching back through time.
"You were outside, and at the time you might've been five, maybe six."
My throat tightened, everything coming back.
The sunlight.
The cracked pavement.
The bike that was too big for me, but I still wanted to learn how to ride.
"Your father had one hand on the back of that red bike. You were wobbling because you couldn't keep it straight, and every time you started to fall, he'd grab the seat and say—"
Lucian's voice shifted, mimicking the warmth of a man who didn't deserve to die.
"No one in this world is going to catch you before you fall, but while I'm here, I'll always protect you."
The memory slammed into me so hard I could almost feel the pavement under my knees.
"It was such a beautiful father-son moment that I almost considered teaching Talon how to ride a bike."
Then his voice hardened.
"What you didn't see was Chance creeping up the block, my right-hand even back then. Your father had been denying me for months. I offered him Chance's position three times."
Lucian held up three fingers.
"Three fucking times. He was the smartest man in that neighborhood.
He knew how to move throughout and how to blend with those who looked nothing like him.
Everybody respected him. If he had stood beside me, the whole city would've fallen in line a lot faster.
But like you, your father was stubborn."
My breathing slowed until it almost felt deadly.
"Do you know what he told me the last time I asked him?"
Lucian leaned forward as much as the chains allowed.
"He said I won't be the kind of man my son has to survive."
Lucian shrugged. "So, I made sure he wasn't a man at all. Chance walked up behind him while he was holding the bike steady for you—"
Lucian tapped the side of his head.
"And pow." He made a quiet popping sound with his mouth. "One shot. His body dropped before you even understood what happened."
My vision blurred red around the edges as Lucian kept talking.
"You started screaming for help. That part almost made me change my mind."
The chains rattled when he shifted again.
"Almost."
Choyce muttered something under her breath, but Lucian ignored her.
"Your mother took it hard. Grief broke her faster than I expected, and she started using. Eventually, she came to me."
My head snapped up, and Lucian smiled faintly.
"She begged for money. I told her no but gave her an opportunity I knew she wouldn't refuse."
Choyce's voice cut in, sharp. "You set her up."
Lucian glanced at her. "Correct. I had her steal my own money, just so I'll have a reason to kill her."
My breath left me slowly, my lungs struggling to pull in more air.
"You see…" Lucian's voice softened, almost as if he cared. "I needed you. You had potential. I saw it the first time I watched you fight those boys after your father died. You were small, but you didn't stop swinging."
Lucian smiled, studying me like a sculptor admiring his work."
"Your father didn't want to be my right-hand, so I made sure his son became the man he refused to be. Then I taught you how to do the same with Wolfe and Crown. And look at all of you now—"
He let his words linger. "One big, happy, murderous family because of the man I made you."
Something inside me finally snapped. Lucian didn't get a chance to say anything else because he'd already said enough.
I blinked.
My gun was in my hand.
I blinked again.
And a shot cracked through the room.
Lucian's head snapped back, skull, brain matter, and blood splattered across the wall behind him.
His grin disappeared before his body slumped.
The chains rattled when his weight dropped forward.
Then silence took over. For a long moment, I stood there staring at the man who stole my father, killed my mother, and robbed me of a childhood.
Yet he gave me the greatest gift I've ever known… . Navy and my brothers.
"Damn," Choyce exhaled sharply behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder, almost forgetting she was in the room. She was staring at Lucian's body like she didn't know whether to be pissed or relieved.
"I was hoping to get a few hits in before you did that," she commented.
"You mad?"
Choyce walked over and looked down at the man who had spent years trying to break her.
"Yeah," she nudged his shoulder with the toe of her boot, "but I get it."
Her eyes lifted to mine.
"Some people deserve pain, and some aren't worth the power you give when you make them suffer. Torture is a form of caring. It's personal, almost affectionate. A bullet… a single bullet means they weren't worth more than a breath gon' still."
What she said settled into the silence. I looked at Lucian one last time, then turned away.
"Come on."
We walked out of the room together, and the mill felt quieter now that the reason it existed was gone.
"Grab a few of those gas cans from the back," I told her. "Cover all the back rooms. I'll handle the front."
Choyce grabbed one of the cans and got to work. By the time we were done, the floors were slick with gasoline. She splashed the last of it across the wall before looking over at me.
"Are you sure about this?"
I struck a match against the wall and nodded. The flame danced between my fingers for a second before I tossed it on Lucian. Fire raced across the floor, and within seconds, the room was alive with heat and flames climbing the walls.
"We gotta go," I told Choyce, pushing her toward the front of the mill. With our faces buried in our hoodies, we ran outside. We reached our cars, and flames were already pouring out of the mill's broken windows. The building cracked and groaned as the fire tore through it.
Choyce climbed into her car, and I hopped in my truck. She pulled off first, and I followed, watching in the rearview as the mill burned behind me.
Piece by piece.
Memory by memory.
The past was finally put to rest.
The house felt off the second I stepped through the door. I moved from the foyer toward the staircase and stopped when I saw the suitcases.
All hers.
None of 'em mine.
They sat too fucking perfectly at the bottom of the steps like they were waiting for her to grab them and disappear into the night.
Disappear from me. I climbed the stairs two at a time, trying to outrun the thought forming in the back of my mind, but halfway down the hall, I heard soft sobs.
They drifted through the bedroom doorway and wrapped around my heart before I could prepare myself.
I slowed my steps, easing toward the door.
Navy stood at the edge of the bed, folding clothes into neat stacks inside an open duffel bag.
Her hands trembled as she tried to zip the bag.
The zipper caught, and a quiet sob filled the room before she covered her mouth with her hand, smothering the scream building in her chest. My jaw ticked watching her because I caused her pain.
I leaned against the doorframe, dragging a hand over my face.
I killed the man who destroyed my life, and in the same breath, ruined hers.
Fuck!
My knuckles brushed the doorframe, and the soft thud made Navy freeze.
"Navy," I gently called out.
The zipper slipped from her fingers and fell against the bag. Her shoulders rose and fell slowly, as if she were bracing herself for me to say all the bullshit she wasn't ready to hear.
"Navy, look at me… please."
She wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt and turned. Red and wet, her eyes landed on mine. Those beautiful brown orbs of hers were broken now, and filled with every emotion opposite of love.
"I—" I started, but my words died.
Her gaze slipped away from mine, dropping to my hands, then the front of my hoodie. Her brows pinched slightly, realization setting in. The faint dark stains, and the smell of smoke still clinging to me.
"You finally did it?"
I nodded.
Her chin trembled before she looked away, pressing her lips together to keep herself from falling apart. For a long second, the only sound in the room was her uneven breathing.
"I wanted to be gone before you got back," she finally said.
I swallowed. My throat felt drier than sandpaper.
"Why?"
Navy laughed softly, but nothing was amusing about it. "Did you forget what happened at dinner with my father?"
"No, but—"
"But what Honor?" She turned to face me, her expression twisting in pain. "You thought you were going to give me a few days to cool off, and I would magically be okay with you choosing Choyce over me and fucking her!"
"I—"
"I fucking dare you to lie to me," she snapped.
"I wasn't going to lie," I stated, stepping further into the room. "I slept with her."
"No," she said, shaking her head. "Don't soften it. Call it what it is."
Navy's eyes burned into mine. "You fucked that bitch."
"Ight. I fucked her."
She turned away from me, forcing the zipper across the duffel bag.
"I hope the pussy was worth it," she scoffed. "Choosing her is gon' put all that bullshit you love telling me to the test."
"Navy—" I started, reaching for her, but she slapped my hand away.
"Don't touch me, Honor!"
"Then fucking listen to me… please!" I gritted, sounding desperate as fuck.
"Then talk!"
"It wasn't about choosing her over you."
Her laugh came quick and bitter. "That's exactly what it was."
"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "It was about me having a fucking choice, not an ultimatum, but a fucking choice."
Navy's brows pulled together like I didn't make sense. "And you chose that bitch."
I dragged my hand over my face because Navy was never gonna understand this, how I needed her to.
"You've always been there for me, Navy. But loving you how I do… is a fucking lot. All logic goes out the window. When it comes down to you or someone else, that shit ain't a choice." I looked at her. "It's a guarantee."
"Obviously not," she scoffed.
My jaw tightened. "Are you gonna fucking listen or keep going with these childish ass quips?"
She shrugged. "Say something worth listening to."
"You saved me. In your father's backyard. You remember that shit?"
She nodded. "Of course I remember."
"Ight. From that point on, you had a front-row seat to every fucked-up thing that happened in my life. Since then, you've been looking at me the same way you did that morning."
"That's not fair."
"It's the truth," I replied, leaning against the dresser, my chest tight as hell.
"You love me, Navy. I know that, but sometimes it doesn't feel like you love the man standing in front of you."
Her voice cracked. "Then what do I love, Honor?"
"The man you dreamed me up to be in your head. The boy you still feel you gotta save because your father broke me."
She opened her mouth like she wanted to argue, but nothing came out.
"Dr. Lockhart said something to me last week," I continued. "She said, when we're hurting, the first person who makes us feel seen or safe can imprint on us and create attachment patterns that keep you stuck in the moment you broke."
Navy's voice softened. "You think I'm stuck in that moment?"
I shrugged. "I think you're stuck in all the moments where you had to be what I needed."
Her eyes narrowed.
"And Choyce is what?"
"Choyce wasn't shit but a choice," I told her. "She never saw the kid with the gun to his head. All she knows is the man standing here. That shit felt good, Navy, 'cause for the first time I didn't feel broken."
"Wow," she murmured, nodding slowly. "I guess I can understand."
But the far-gone look in her eyes told me she felt the opposite.
"You fucked Choyce because she saw you as a man. And I… I let a man eat my pussy because I felt wanted—"
My hands moved before my mind could catch up, fingers locking around her throat as I yanked her toward me.
"Nah," I growled, my voice shaking. "Don't say you—"
"I… I did," she forced out, a broken smirk pulling at her lips.
Navy doubling down on her confession caved my chest in.
My grip tightened as I shoved her back against the wall, her body hitting it with a dull thud.
Navy clawed at my wrist, her nails digging into my skin as her feet scraped the floor, searching for balance.
Her eyes widened, panic flashing across her face while her chest struggled to pull in air.
But all I could hear was the blood roaring in my ears and those words repeating in my head.
"I let a man eat my pussy."
"I told you what was gon' happen if you let another nigga—" My voice cracked, tears burning in my eyes. "I fucking told you!"
Her face reddened as her breath became shorter and shorter, and her eyes began to flutter.
"I fucking love you and that's how you do…argh!" Pain exploded through my body as her knee crashed into my balls.
"Fuck!"
My hands dropped from her neck as I doubled over, choking on pain. Navy collapsed beside the bed, coughing wildly while clutching her throat and dragging in desperate gulps of air.
"I hate you!" she seethed once she finally caught her breath.
"Hol' up, Navy," I groaned, still hunched over and cupping my balls.
Navy snatched her duffel off the bed and took off running before I could stand up straight.
The front door slammed seconds later. I staggered over to the window in time to see headlights slice through the dark.
Her car tore out of the driveway, taillights disappearing in the distance.
The one thing I killed Lucian to protect was now gone.