Chapter 31
Thirty-One
Honor Gravehart
Istood outside the mill, leaning against my truck, lights low, weed hugging my lungs, thoughts doing a hundred while my heart pounded like it was trying to break through my chest. What waited for me on the other side of those doors was fate, but also my demise.
Fate, because Lucian dying by my hands was poetic.
Demise because killing him didn't come without consequences.
Taking one of theirs meant one of mine would be taken.
An eye for an eye or a heart for a heart was how Killian explained how this shit goes after my request was denied.
I already knew the burden of what I was about to do would weigh on the people I loved, but I'd rather they carry a few fleeting moments of grief than spend their lives constantly looking over their shoulders.
As long as Lucian was alive, my family would always be a pawn in his game.
The life I never got the chance to live was the life I wanted for them, and killing Lucian was the sacrifice I planned to make for them.
I took another pull from my spliff when headlights washed across the mill, and tires crunched against the gravel. The engine cut and the driver's door opened. Choyce hopped out, dressed in black sweats, a black hoodie, and black Timbs.
"Wassup." I nodded as she walked over.
"Too much," she said, sounding exhausted. Not physically but mentally.
"Here." I passed her the spliff and watched her inhale, hold the smoke, then push it out slowly.
"Please stop looking at me like that," she said. "The last thing I need is Navy thinking I'm still on you."
"You ain't?" The question fell out before I could stop it. My conscience didn't think about it, but my ego wanted to know.
"Honestly," she softly laughed, "no."
Choyce handed back the spliff and stepped closer.
"What I needed, you gave me. I convinced myself that, if I accepted who you were instead of changing you like Navy, you'd see I was the better choice."
She shrugged.
"Maybe in another lifetime I might've been. But in this one? Navy is perfect for you. She can be what you need because she's lived and experienced the world without someone else dictating her choices. She has the patience to be your strength."
Her eyes held mine.
"I don't. At least not until I live a little more. Remember the day Lucian said you would be my enforcer?"
I nodded.
"On the way out, I told you, you loved this shit as much as I do."
"The difference is I'm not fighting against the tide," I muttered. "I'm rolling with it."
"I was wrong… again. Neither of us loves this shit. We just rolled with it because it was a means to an end."
"Seems like you were wrong about a lot," I joked.
"Maybe." She smirked. "I was right when I said you and I are alike though."
Her eyes flicked toward the mill.
"We both hate the man waiting for us on the other side of those doors. For different reasons, but the hate is all the same."
"Is that why you're here?" I asked.
Choyce showing up wasn't expected, but listening to her talk, I wasn't mad at it.
"I want to close this chapter of my life. Lucian caused me a lot of pain, so for me to make peace with my past, I need him to feel some of that same pain."
"How'd you know I was out here?" I asked, needing a second to breathe.
"Chosyn. Wolfe told her you were headed here when he got back from therapy. I thought I got here too late. Procrastinating on something you've wanted to do for so long seemed unlikely."
"It's weird," I admitted. "I've been envisioning killing this man for years. Shit, probably longer than a decade." I shook my head. "Now it's time, and I feel like I gotta grieve him before I kill him."
"Doesn't grief come after?"
"It's supposed to, but I feel like I'm grieving the small part of him that was good to me."
"What part of Lucian was ever good?"
"If you didn't pay attention, you'd miss the pride in his eyes when you did something right the first time. Or when you put one of his lessons to use. I hated Lucian, but whenever I caught that glimpse of pride, I felt some too."
I looked at her. "That's crazy, huh?"
"I think it's human," she answered. "You probably don't want to hear this, but you were like a son to him.
He loved you in his own weird way, more than he loved his actual son.
It's normal to mourn that little piece of parental guidance you'll lose when you kill him.
But killing him doesn't mean you won't have family.
You'll still have your brothers, Chosyn, River, and Navy.
She's mad now, but the two of you are soulmates.
It might take time, but y'all will figure it out. "
"You're laying the Navy shit on thick." I laughed.
"I never had beef with her. I just thought I wanted what she had. I know now I didn't." Her eyes softened. "I needed an example of what love looked and felt like. You gave me that."
She moved in closer.
"I know how a man is supposed to protect a woman because of you. You taught me a lot, and I'm grateful for that. I'm also sorry my needing to learn caused strife in your relationship."
"You weren't in that shit alone," I admitted, then hesitated. "You gave me something I needed, too."
She raised a brow.
"I love Navy with everything in my being, but our shit is built on need. I know that sounds crazy, but I honestly feel like I won't survive without Navy. I need her. She regulates my nervous system just by looking at me."
I swallowed.
"When she whispers, 'I love you', it feels like I can take on the world without fear because her love makes me feel that untouchable."
"Then what did you need from me?"
I looked at her.
"I needed to make a choice."
She nodded. No questions. No explanation needed. Just quiet understanding. And I appreciated that because some things weren't meant to be explained. Sleeping with Choyce was one of them.
"You ready to go inside and close this chapter of our lives?" she asked after a few quiet breaths.
"Yeah."
I flicked the rest of my spliff and pushed off the truck, heading toward the mill.
Choyce fell in step behind me, not saying a word.
Inside, it felt different. The scent of death lingered like the walls themselves remembered everybody that bled inside here.
Our footsteps echoed as we walked through the mill until we reached the only room that wasn't dressed in violence.
My hand rubbed across the wall until my fingers hit the switch.
The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead before flickering to life.
In the middle of the room, hands chained to the wall, body folded forward on his knees, was the man of the hour.
Lucian.
His black hair hung over his face, shadowing it while his head bowed. Blood stained the collar of his shirt and streaked down the front of it. Seeing him like this caused a slow grin. He slowly lifted his head. Chains rattling as he shifted his weight, and without hesitation, his eyes found mine.
No fear.
Just recognition.
"Well," he rasped, voice rough like gravel, scraping concrete. "Took you long enough."
My teeth ground out of irritation. For years, I imagined this moment.
Rage was supposed to burn through my veins as I beat every ounce of pain he ever gave me back into his body.
Yet standing here now, the only thing that mattered was putting a single bullet in his head and never having to see him again.
Lucian studied my face, with a faint smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. Then his gaze slid to Choyce.
"Interesting choice of companionship."
"I'd say I'm the perfect choice." Choyce grinned, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall like she had all night to watch him die.
"So," his eyes drifted back to me, "this is how it ends."
"On your knees? What better way?"
Lucian's smirk deepened. "You think these chains mean I'm on my knees?"
The chains clinked when he straightened his back as much as they allowed.
"I've been waiting for this day longer than you have, son."
That word hung in the air, barely touching me where it once made my skin crawl.
"You knew this was gonna happen?" I asked just to feed into Lucian's delusion that he was still in control.
"I knew you always had it in you. A father killing his son is rare. A son killing his father in this line of business is expected. So, you see, the question was never if you'd come for me."
His eyes sharpened.
"The question was always when. When would you stop pretending you weren't exactly who I made you?"
A slow breath filled my lungs. "You didn't make me."
Lucian laughed, not loudly, but it carried throughout the room.
"Yes, I did. Every lesson. Every beating. Every test. Every decision I forced you to make."
His voice lowered.
"I carved the man standing in front of me out of a scared little boy."
Silence swallowed the room. Choyce's stare burned into my back, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from Lucian.
"Tell me something before you kill me."
"What?" I gritted.
"Did it work?"
My fingers flexed at my side, itching to grab my gun and put him out of his misery.
"What?"
"All of it," he said calmly. "The pain. The cruelty. The pressure. Did it make you strong enough to kill me?"
Even with chains on his wrists and death staring him in the face, Lucian was still testing me.
"For someone about to die, you damn sure have a lot to say," Choyce interjected, pushing off the wall.
Lucian glanced her way.
"And you," he drawled, "I always wondered which direction you'd break."
His eyes dragged over her as if he were inspecting something he used to own.
"I never thought it would be at the hands of my daughter, but I admire your strength. That leather strap couldn't break you. No matter how hard I swung it, or how deep it cut into your flesh."
I watched as Choyce's body went stiff. The same way it had when my fingers traced the raised scars carved across her back.
Choyce smiled, but there was nothing warm about it. "We'll soon find out what makes you break."