Chapter 37 Navy Achebe
Thirty-Seven
Navy Achebe
Emersyn's car disappeared down the block, and everything inside me went still except my breathing.
My chest rose and fell hard as hell, each breath rougher than the last, like my body had forgotten how to inhale without pain.
I stood in the same spot, staring at Honor, trying to understand what I'd done to make him continuously want to hurt me.
"Why?" I mumbled.
"Come inside and we can talk about it.
"No," I snapped, shaking my head. "Tell me now. I wanna know what it is about her that makes you give a fuck more than you should."
"I don't—"
"Don't lie to me, Honor!" My voice broke as tears blurred my vision.
"How many times do I have to tell you that I know you?
Everything about you is a second language to me," I sniffled.
"You like her. There's something about her that I don't have, and you like it.
You might even love it because if you didn't, she wouldn't have kissed you.
You wouldn't have fucked her, and she damn sure wouldn't have been in your arms after you told me to come over. "
Closing the distance between Honor and me didn't feel the same anymore.
My heart used to hiccup whenever he was near, skipping and stuttering like it didn't know how to act around him.
Now it felt like the opposite, like every step toward him slowed my pulse instead of racing it…
like my heart was gradually forgetting how to beat at all.
"So tell me, Honor, what is it about her—"
"I got twenty-four hours to live, Navy."
The words hit so hard it felt like he'd knocked the air clean out of my body.
"Wha… what?"
"Killing Lucian came with consequences that—"
"I told you something like this would happen!" I snapped, panic clawing its way up my throat. "I said you couldn't kill him because—"
My words died in the middle of the sentence as the truth crashed into me all at once.
I had been so busy drowning in my own hurt that I missed everything — every move and every quiet sacrifice.
Him killing Talon was step one. Honor never wanted what Lucian had, and I knew that.
Deep down, I always did, and I still let myself believe he was the bad guy.
I knew he was going to kill Lucian, yet I did nothing.
Then he came to me after it was done, and I couldn't see past his betrayal long enough to understand what he'd actually done.
Honor didn't just kill Lucian. He signed his own death certificate.
"Honor… no," I whispered, my hands starting to shake as it all settled into the marrow of my bones.
He looked at me like he'd already accepted it, like death was really a decision he could live with.
"Don't do that," I choked, shaking my head. "Don't stand there looking at me like it's already over."
"Navy—"
"No!" My voice cracked as I grabbed the front of his coat. I held on tight, thinking if I held on tight enough, the world couldn't take him from me. "You can't just say some shit like that and expect me to be okay with it."
His hands came up, fingers tracing my jaw, eyes moving over every lash as if he were trying to memorize me.
"I had to," he quietly stated.
"For what?" I cried. "You think dying fixes anything? You think leaving me fixes what you broke between us?"
His jaw tightened. "For you."
That shattered what was left of my heart.
I stared at Honor, searching his face for anything…
anything that looked like a lie… a twitch, hesitation, or some crack in his expression that would tell me this was just a twisted attempt to pull me back to him.
However, Honor had never looked more honest in his life, and somehow that hurt worse.
"You think I want that?" I whispered. "You think I want a life that costs me you?"
"You deserve a life that doesn't cost you the love you deserve. You deserve a life that isn't tied to my trauma, Navy," he explained. "Lucian being alive meant you were never gonna have that."
"So you decided to die instead?" My voice trembled. "That was your solution?"
"Navy—"
"Was fucking Choyce part of your plan too?" I snapped. "Because that whole she made me feel like a man bullshit couldn't have been the truth."
The question tasted bitter coming out, but I needed the full truth. I stood there, hands trembling, cheeks soaked with tears, split between two versions of myself. One who loved Honor too much to breathe without him, and another who was still standing in the wreckage of the heart he broke.
Pain flickered across his face.
I was drowning in it.
Honor dragged a hand over his mouth like he was trying to physically wipe the moment away.
"That wasn't—"
"Then what the fuck was it?" My voice rose, cracking under the pressure in my chest. "Because right now it looks like you wrecked me because you weren't gonna be here long enough to deal with it.
It's really giving one last hoorah before you checked out, and I hate that for me because I really thought the most of you. "
His head dropped for a second, shoulders heavy like the weight of everything he'd done was finally settling on him. When he looked back at me, his eyes were glassy, and his voice was rough.
"I needed you to hate me."
"What?"
"I needed you to look at me and see a nigga you couldn't forgive," he uttered, his voice raw. "If I died, and you still loved me, you'd never move on."
"So you deliberately chose to break me?"
Instead of denying it, Honor just looked at me like the worst thing he'd ever done in his life was loving me. Neither of us moved. We just stood there staring at each other, both of us drowning in something that felt too big to name.
Regret.
Love.
Grief.
Maybe all of it tangled together.
"Navy… let's go inside," he softly rasped, reaching for my hand.
The second his fingers wrapped around mine, something inside me recoiled.
His touch didn't feel the same against my skin anymore.
It wasn't home. It felt like every bit of goodbye.
I slipped my hand out of his and turned toward the house without saying a word.
Honor followed a step behind me as we walked inside the home, we used to call ours.
Now it was just a house. A place someone else would live one day, walking these same floors, touching the same walls, never knowing the history soaked into them. Never knowing how much love had lived here.
"We can sit in the living room," I announced, taking off my coat and hanging it on the hook by the door.
"Cool," he mumbled.
Walking through the foyer felt strange. The silence between us stretched long and heavy, like the house itself knew something was ending.
Twenty-four hours.
The number echoed in my head like a clock counting down. My chest tightened because this was really it. The end of a life with a man I'd known since I was a little girl.
"How long?" I asked, tucking my legs under my butt as I sat on the couch.
Honor frowned as he sat me. "What?"
"How long do you have left?" My voice shook. "You said twenty-four hours, but when did the clock start?"
His answer didn't come.
"Honor," I breathed.
"This morning."
"That means—"
"Yeah," he grunted.
Panic surged through me so violently that I climbed straight into his lap, throwing my arms around his neck. His arms hugged my waist. For a moment, the feeling was restored, and the version of me that hated him ceased to exist.
"No," I whispered. "No… no… no…"
"Navy." He sighed.
"No!" I pushed against his chest, tears blurring his handsome face. "You don't get to die!"
"It's decided."
"Not for me!" I cried. "I didn't decide that shit!"
The emotions poured out of me raw and gut-wrenching.
"You don't get to make decisions without me. We're a team, Honor. I don't care who you fucked or who ate my pussy! We decide things together."
"I did it to protect you."
"If you die," I whispered, my voice trembling so badly it barely sounded like mine, "there is no life for me to move on to."
"It's gon' hurt for a little while, but it won't break you, Navy."
His words sounded so sincere that a part of me wanted to believe him, but I couldn't.
"You already broke me, baby." Cupping his face, I pulled his mouth just a breath away from mine. "You think I'm just gonna wake up tomorrow and start a new life like you never existed?"
Tears streamed down my face, splashing against the corners of his mouth.
"You are my life, Honor."
The confession hung between us like fragile glass neither of us wanted to touch.
"Navy," He breathed hard against my lips, "you can't say shit like that."
"Why?" I demanded. "Because it makes it harder for you to die?"
His jaw tightened. "Yeah. I can't go through this knowing I'm leaving you fucked up like this."
"Then don't fucking do it!"
"I don't have a fucking choice, Navy. What part of that isn't clicking for you?" he barked, lifting me by my waist and setting me back on the cushion beside him.
He stood and started pacing the living room, dragging his hands through his curls.
"Lucian was never gonna let me heal, Navy. You wanted a nigga who wasn't broken, and I wanted to be that for you, so fucking badly, but Lucian was always gon' use you to bait me. I had to do this for you because that's how much I fucking love you."
He stopped pacing, chest rising and falling hard.
"I love you so fucking much I'm willing to hang this life shit up just for you to live.
For my brothers to live and love on their wives, watch their children grow up, and have children of their own.
" His voice dropped lower, taking my heart along with it.
"I'm doing this because I believe the life that's destined for you is greater than anything I could've given you. "
His eyes met mine.
"I'm not meant to be your forever, Navy. I was just the opening act. You have so much life to live, and I want you to live that shit… because you deserve it."
"Honor, that's not true," I cried.