Chapter 37 Navy Achebe #2
"It is." He sighed, shaking his head. "Maybe having you come over was a mistake on my part. I wanted to be honest with you, but if I knew it was gonna be like this, I would’ve handled it alone."
"You mean die alone?"
He nodded.
I stood and walked straight into his space. My hands slid up his face, forcing him to look at me. My heart was hurting in ways words couldn't explain, but he needed me.
"Listen to me, Honor," I whispered through my tears. "If you only have a few hours left…"
My thumb brushed across his cheek.
"Then every single one of them belongs to me."
His breathing slowed as if my words had hit somewhere deep inside him.
"You're not gonna die thinking I hate you."
I swallowed hard because putting my own hurt aside to be there for him was the second hardest thing I'd ever done. The first was giving up our son.
"If you have to die, then you're gonna do it knowing how much I love you."
"You shouldn't have said that," he muttered.
"Why?"
"Now I gotta stand here and act like that shit don't mean everything to me," he roughly stated. "Like I don't want one last moment with you."
Honor dropped his head for a second, dragging a hand over his face like he was trying to pull himself together.
"You really thought fucking Choyce was gonna make me hate you enough to let you go through this alone?" I whispered.
"I hoped it would."
"That's the dumbest shit you've ever done."
A humorless chuckle left his chest.
"That's saying a lot."
Silence settled between us again, thick with everything we'd never been brave enough to say out loud.
"I didn't want you watching me die," he admitted.
"I wouldn't have watched you die." I smiled softly. "You would've been watching me love you into death."
"That's exactly what I wanted to avoid."
My hands slid down his chest until they rested over his heart, feeling the steady thud beneath my palms, fighting to memorize the rhythm.
"You can't protect me from loving you."
"I've been trying to my whole life," he whispered.
A tear slipped from the corner of his eye before he could stop it. I tilted his head down and ran my tongue gently along the path the tear left behind.
"Honor—" I whispered before pressing a slow kiss to his lips.
His mouth moved against mine for a second, then he suddenly pulled back.
"Look at me," he gritted. "A nigga supposed to be facing death, and I'm over here crying."
"Because you love me." I laughed softly through my tears.
"Nah," he corrected hoarsely, "I'm crying because leaving you is the only thing I can't survive."
The words knocked the breath out of me. His forehead dropped against mine.
"I spent my whole life fighting to stay alive," he whispered. "And the only reason I'm still standing is because of you."
His thumb gently traced his lips before his tongue took over.
"You kept me breathing when I ain't see the point in doing the shit anymore. You gave me something to wake up for, something to love. The least I can do… the very least," he swallowed hard, "is make sure you get to live a life where you don't have to keep fighting for me to live."
His lips pecked mine.
"A life where you don't gotta worry about your father using you as a pawn to control me. A life where you ain't tied to some broken nigga who didn't understand the importance of treating you like a want, instead of forcing you to be a need."
His hand slid over my heart, holding it there because he knew it belonged to him.
"You deserve peace, Navy," he whispered. "Real peace, and if the price is my heart… then I'ma pay that debt every fucking time because you're worth it and more."
My lips found his again, softer this time. There was no confusion in the kiss, just love and aching desperation. His arms locked around me as if I were the only thing tethering him to this world, and for a moment, I allowed myself to be that.
"Make my pussy cry one last time," I moaned into his mouth.
Honor pulled back slightly, searching my eyes for a reason not to oblige.
"Please," I cooed, biting his bottom lip.
The restraint he'd been holding onto since I'd been in his arms shattered.
A low groan escaped him before his hands slid up my back, gripping me like letting go wasn't an option anymore.
Honor kissed me harder this time, desperate to pour every unsaid word, every regret, and every ounce of love he had left into my heart, so I'd never forget what he felt like… what his love felt like.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he lifted me without effort, walking us backward until my back kissed the wall. The impact hurt, but all I could focus on was him. His mouth, his hands, and the way he ground his dick against my pussy through the fabric of our clothes.
"Navy—" He breathed my name as if it hurt.
"Please," I whispered. "I need to feel you one last time."
Lowering me to my feet, he stepped back and stripped out of his clothes. His shirt hit the floor first, then the rest, until he stood in front of me naked, with his dick bouncing.
He smirked as he reached for me. "Come here."
His hands slid to my shirt, lifting it over my head like even that small moment mattered. Each piece of my clothes followed the same path to the floor. Honor's hand came up, brushing along my cheek before sliding down my neck and over my shoulder.
"Navy," he whispered.
I stepped closer, pressing my body against his.
"Stop looking at me like you're already gone," I murmured.
His eyes closed, forehead falling against mine.
"I'm trying not to," he groaned as my hand gripped the base of his dick and pulsed.
"Stop trying and just fuck me."
His fingers slid to my neck, pulling my mouth back to his.
The kiss deepened, nasty and heated with love.
And for the first time since Honor said twenty-four hours, I stopped fighting the truth.
If this was all the time we had left, then I was going to spend every second loving him like this moment was our forever.