Chapter 38 Honor Gravehart
Thirty-Eight
Honor Gravehart
Tonight, the water was still. The harbor looked like glass, dark and quiet, stretching out farther than the eye could see. I caught my reflection in it, just a shadow standing at the edge of something bigger than him.
Cargo ships drifted through like ghosts carrying secrets nobody around here was paid enough to question.
Most people thought a place like this was cursed, given the amount of blood these boards had soaked up over the years, and tonight they'd taste a little more.
But for me, this place had always felt like peace.
It wasn't the soft slap of the waves against the pier or the low hum of engines that settled the restlessness living in my chest. It was the danger that lived in the air, the risk, and the tension of knowing one wrong move could end with sirens screaming or bullets ripping you apart.
I understood this world. I bled on these docks trying to tip scales I knew would never truly balance… until tonight.
Chaos and control.
That was the language I spoke the best. I knew how to breathe in it.
I thrived in it. I survived it. Now there was nothing left to survive.
Lucian was gone, and all he left behind was stillness.
Stillness peeled me open layer by layer until the only thing left was the scared little boy pretending to be a man.
Stillness robbed me of oxygen and left me weak in ways violence couldn't. And for the longest time, the only thing that ever silenced that fear was her.
Navy.
She was the only person who saw both versions of me.
The man I tried to be and the little boy who never found the strength to heal.
And somehow, she chose to love them both.
I didn't deserve her, and she didn't deserve to carry the weight of me any longer than she already had.
I exhaled a long breath, watching as a small boat drifted farther and farther into the darkness, its taillights fading against the black water.
Killian's gift, my way out.
I watched it disappear until there was nothing left but open water and the hum of the harbor. Tonight, stillness didn't scare me. The chaos was behind me. Control no longer mattered anymore, and the woman I loved was tucked in a warm bed, sleeping peacefully because that's what she deserved.
"Honor, is that you?" Wynn's wary voice caught me off guard. It was too late for her to be out here, but I needed a favor. One I couldn't ask my brothers to handle without telling them I traded my life for theirs.
"Yeah, it's me."
"What’s going on? Why did you want to meet all the way out here? You're not thinking about… oh my god please say you're not thinking about—"
"Relax," I urged, grabbing her shoulders.
She was shaking uncontrollably, and I instantly regretted picking her to do me this favor.
"I wanted to give these to you." I dug into my hoodie pocket and pulled out nine white envelopes. "They're all addressed to who they need to go to. Two months from now, I need you to mail 'em."
"Honor… what is this and why two months?"
"I can't tell you that. I just need them mailed out then."
"I won't do it," she refuted, pushing them back.
"Please."
"Why me?"
"I don't have anyone else to ask."
"Honor, I can't."
"You can," I softly stated. "You're stronger than you think."
She hesitated before bringing the letters back to her chest, thumbing through them.
"They're addressed to your brothers, and I have one."
"I know. I got something being mailed to you at the facility. Something for you and something for Navy. When you get it, that's when you mail the letters, and you can read yours."
"Honor… I don't know. This feels a lot like—"
"What I'm asking you to do for me is heavy. I get that, but I believe in you, Wynn."
Her lips trembled.
"Can… can I at least have a hug?"
"Yeah," I said with a small grin, pulling her into my arms.
"You said I remind you of your pops, right?"
"Yeah."
"Ight… say what you didn't get to say to him to me."
"How did you—"
"I looked you up. I'm sorry he had to go that way."
"Me too," she whispered.
"I guess I'd say… I love you. You were the best father a daughter could ask for. I love you for everything you gave me and every lesson you taught me."
She broke down crying, so I held her tighter.
"Honor your pops and get back on the ice," I told her.
"I… I can't."
"You can. You bear a heavy name because you're built to hold that muthafucka up. You could never be a failure with a name like Wynn. Remind the world your pops raised a winner."
"You don't know how much that means to me."
"I got an idea." I chuckled. "Ight, go home and remember what I said. Two months, when those packages get dropped off, mail the letters and read yours."
"Okay."
Wynn walked away slowly, pausing once to look back at me before disappearing into the night. I turned back toward the water as my phone rang.
Navy.
Her picture lit up the screen, almost making me second-guess everything. I shook doubt away, declined the call, and tossed the phone into the dark water. The ripples disappeared almost instantly, like I wasn't here at all. Grabbing my gun from my waistband, I screwed the silencer onto the barrel.
My eyes blurred.
This was really the end.
The thought brought on a flood of emotions, but only one mattered.
Peace.
Peace knowing my brothers found love and started families, so they'd never know the loneliness I grew up with.
Peace knowing Choyce could raise her daughter without fear of someone doing to Cherish what Lucian did to her.
Peace knowing Navy could find a love that sparked fire in her soul instead of carrying the burden of me in her heart.
"You know… I might've been offended that you made love to me so good you put me to sleep, then left, if I didn't know where to find you."
Her voice was so soft I almost thought I had imagined it.
"You didn't think I was going to let you do this alone," she voiced. "Look at me, Honor."
I bit my lip until I tasted blood instead of facing Navy.
"Look at me, Honor."
"Fuck!" I growled. "What are you doing here?"
"I told you every second you have left belongs to me."
"I'm not letting them niggas be the ones to kill me."
"They won't be," she whispered. "I'll do it."
"Nah," I turned to face her.
Navy was dressed in one of my sweatsuits that swallowed her small frame. I wanted to laugh, but the dried tear streaks on her face made it impossible.
"Let me do it," she insisted, taking a slow step forward, reaching for the gun.
I lifted it higher. "Don't."
"Honor—"
My throat tightened.
"You're still the best thing that ever happened to me."
The tears hit both our faces at the same time.
"Navy, stop."
"I need you to know this."
The gun trembled as it left my hands and entered hers.
"You don't gotta do this after everything I did to you."
She stepped close enough so we were hoodie-to-hoodie. Every memory we ever shared lived in the tears running down her face.
"I don't care what you did," she asserted. "It's all forgiven because I love you."
She pressed the gun against my ribs. "I love you so fucking much, Honor."
Her hands were shaking so hard that the barrel rattled against my ribs.
Tears poured down her face as I rested my forehead against hers. "Navy… I love you."
"I love you."
Gripping her waist, I swayed slowly, humming low at first until the words came through.
"Honor no," Navy cried. "Don't… don't make this harder than it already is."
"But Navy… just kiss me slow. Your heart is all I own."
"Honor," she mumbled so softly it barely reached my ears.
I lifted my eyes to hers, needing her to understand just how much I loved her… how much I'd always love her.
"And in your eyes, you're holding mine. Baby, I'm dancing in the dark… with you in my arms."
"Honor, I can't… I can't—" she panted.
"It's okay, Navy. I'm ready. Loving you has been my greatest accomplishment. Now it's time for you to live because I'll die before I do life without—"
The shot slipped into the night barely more than muted thud, and everything just… stilled.
"Honor!" Navy screamed.
My body rocked back a step. Heat spread through my chest, thick and burning, flooding my lungs until breathing felt like trying to inhale through water. I fought to pull in air, but it wouldn't come. Each breath became shorter than the last.
Thinner.
My hand moved toward my ribs, and when I looked down, my fingers were slick with blood. The docks tilted as I sank to my knees. The harbor lights blurred together like melted gold.
"Honor," Navy cried, reaching for my wound. Blood covered her hands instantly. My heartbeat stumbled.
One hard thump.
Then a weaker thump.
And in that quiet space that it took for one heartbeat to follow the other, I heard her.
Navy.
Not her screaming my name in panic, but the one that lived in my memory.
Soft.
Breathless.
The way she sounded the first time she said, I love you to me.
"Na…Navy," I choked on her name as blood pooled in my mouth.
"Honor shhh," she hummed, pressing her hands against my wound, "don't speak."
"I ne… need to—" I choked again.
"I love you."
The words wrapped around me like warmth in the cold air. My chest tried to rise again, but it only fell. The harbor lights blurred behind her, the world fading until there was nothing left but Navy's eyes locked on mine.
For so long, I'd been afraid of stillness. Afraid of what I'd hear in the quiet once the chaos stopped. But looking at her now…
Stillness didn't feel like fear. It felt like peace.
And for the first time in my life…
I was finally done surviving.