Chapter 39 Wolfe Gravehart
Thirty-Nine
Wolfe Gravehart
Ididn't even hear Chosyn come in. I didn't feel her presence until she sat on my lap. The only thing I felt before that moment was the letter burning a hole straight through my heart.
"Wolfe." Her voice was so fucking soft that I knew she saw me as something fragile in this moment.
I dragged a hand down my face, not out of shame but because I never wanted Chosyn to feel like she had to fix me. I witnessed firsthand what that did to people.
"Don't look at me like I'm something you gotta piece back together," I muttered, finally bringing my eyes to hers.
I wasn't trying to push her away. I just wanted to make sure she understood.
"I'm hurting, but I'm not broken."
"I don't see you as broken, Wolfie," she assured me, doing her best to squeeze my jaw the way I usually did hers. "I just want to be there for you."
"Just… don't carry me like I can't stand on my own."
I reached for her hand, brushing my thumb over her knuckles, needing to feel that connection more than I wanted to admit out loud.
"I won't," she promised. "What was in the letter?"
My grip on her hand tightened just a little before I let it go.
"He…" my jaw tightened.
"I can read it if you want," Chosyn offered.
I shook my head no, then dragged my fingers across the desk until they touched the letter.
"He couldn't say goodbye the regular way, so This nigga had to write it," I huffed more to myself than to Chosyn.
The truth was it didn't matter how Honor said goodbye. The problem was that he had to.
"At least this way you'll have it forever and won't have to rely on a memory."
"True." I nodded and unfolded the paper.
The creases felt deeper this time around, like the weight of his voice had truly settled into the paper. For a second, I stared at it before reading.
"Wolfe… my brother." My voice was stripped down to nothing but grief and anger.
"I can't," I said, and passed her the letter to read for herself
Wolfe… my brother.
I know you're mad, and you have every right to be.
You never spoke on it, but I know you felt it.
Deep down in that big ass heart of yours, you knew this was how it was gon' end for me.
You know I was never built for a long life…
only a meaningful one. And mine got meaning the second you became my brother.
I did a lot of fucked up shit in the name of survival. The one thing I can say with my whole chest that I got right is you. The man you've become, the families you and Crown built for y'all selves, made what I did worth it.
I know that ain't some you wanna hear, but it's the truth.
I did what I had to do to make sure my family was able to live life without Lucian using y'all as pawns.
Even though you might not understand or accept my choice, understand it was simple on my part.
When it comes down to my family or me, I'll always choose y'all. That's how much I love you, nigga.
But aye, I need a favor from you. Don't shut down on me.
I mean that shit 'cause I know you, Wolfe.
You gon' try to hold everything in… try to be strong for everybody else.
Stop that shit 'cause that's not strength.
That's how shit inside of you starts dying.
I've seen it before, and I refuse to watch it happen again, even from the grave.
Lean on your wife. That's what she's there for.
Chosyn isn't just your partner. She's your safe place, the same way you've been hers.
Y'all built something real. Don't let grief make you forget that.
If that's not enough, then be present for your daughter.
Nix deserves the version of you that's not weighed down by my bullshit.
She deserves laughter, light, and love. Give her everything we ain't get.
Oh, and one more thing… don't carry my death like a burden. I died for you to live nigga, so do that shit. If anything, carry me like a lesson.
Live big.
Love harder.
Protect what's yours.
Grow old and never dye them grays.
That's how I stay alive through you.
I love you, son.
-Honor
"Wow," Chosyn breathed, tears diving off her lashes.
The letter slipped from her fingers back onto the desk, and my thumb traced along the edge, unable to fully let go of it.
"Live big. Love harder. Protect what's yours. Grow old and never dye them grays. That's how I stay alive through you. I love you, son."
I repeated Honor's last words, trying to match the cadence of his voice… trying to hear him one more time.
"He really thinks it's that easy," I scoffed under my breath. "The nigga really sat there and wrote out how I'm 'posed to live without him."
Chosyn took my face into her hands, forcing me to look at her, and for a moment, silence sat between us.
Everything she felt was written in her eyes and the way her fingers brushed over my face like she was trying to soothe something deeper than the surface.
She wanted to help me through this, but shit, I didn't even know if that was possible.
"I hear him tho'," I admitted. "But how am I 'posed to do this shit? Understanding him and having to live without him aren't the fucking same."
Chosyn's lips brushed mine, and when she pulled back, my fingers came up, catching her tears before they could fall again.
"We're going to figure it out," she promised.
My eyes dropped to the rhythm of her chest, then lifted back up to her face. There was no doubt and no hesitation. Just certainty that I knew I'd never find with anyone else.
"You're not alone. I would never let you face this alone, and neither would Honor."
"That nigga's gone, Chosyn."
"Yeah," she nodded, refusing to give up, "but he didn't leave until he knew you had exactly what you needed. Honor could've been killed Lucian if he really wanted to, but he didn't because he wanted to make sure you had someone who'd storm the trenches with you."
Her hand pressed against my chest.
"He waited until you had me. You don't have to agree with his decision but honor his sacrifice by living the life he wanted you to live. He loved you, Wolfe… as your brother and your father."
The heaviness in my chest shifted. It eased enough for me to finally pull in a full breath without feeling like I had to fight for it.
"I love you, my heart," I whispered.
Pulling Chosyn closer, I rested my head against her chest, letting the rhythm of her heartbeat fill the silence where everything else felt too fucking loud. After a moment, she lifted my head, and her lips melted into mine. I exhaled into her, letting her take some of what I couldn't hold alone.
"Wolfie."
"Yes, my heart."
A sharp cry interrupted our moment. Chosyn pulled back first, already turning toward the baby monitor on my desk.
"I got her," she said, caressing my jawline.
I nodded and watched her until she disappeared from my office. The room went quiet except for Nix's soft babbling between cries.
"Dada—"
A smile pulled at my lips despite everything.
This… this was the life Honor wanted for me.
The life he made sure I got. I sat there for a second longer, letting things settle, then I reached for my phone.
There was only one person I needed to speak to right now.
The phone rang twice as I leaned back in the chair.
"Pick up, nigga," I mumbled under my breath.
Because if I got a letter, I already knew Crown got one too. And if I was feeling like this, Crown was somewhere feeling worse.