Chapter 42 River Ashland
Forty-Two
River Ashland
Istood just outside the glass, arms folded tight across my chest, trying to hold myself together.
Watching the smallest pieces of my heart felt so unreal that it brought tears to my eyes.
Machines hummed and monitors blinked in soft rhythms, a quiet reminder that they were breathing…
even if it wasn't on their own just yet.
My eyes moved between them, taking in every inch of their tiny bodies because I was too afraid something might change if I looked away too long.
"Hey, my babies," I whispered against the glass.
Sixteen hours, that's how long they kept me in labor.
Sixteen long hours of contractions crashing into me, one after another.
My body did everything it could to bring them into this world.
Dr. Holloway and the nurses all watched the monitors, waiting for something to change, but nothing did.
These twins were being stubborn like both of their parents.
My body wouldn't open for them, and the babies' heart rates started to drop, so I had an emergency C-section.
A shaky breath escaped me as my hand drifted over my stomach.
It was still sore and tight from the stitches, but my mom said the best thing I could do after a C-section was to move around.
I stayed in bed for a full day, but today I needed to get out of that room.
It took me a little while to make it over to the NICU, but it was well worth it.
My children were beautiful. I stared at them in amazement because their birth wasn't how I had pictured things going, but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't change a thing.
"Y'all are some stubborn little things," I murmured, shaking my head as I looked at them. "I already know y’all are gonna give me and your daddy hell. I swear I'm not ready, but I promise I'm going to do everything I can to be the best mother."
"What you doing out of bed?" Crown's voice came from behind me, threaded with concern he wasn't even trying to hide.
I turned and smiled at the man whom I couldn't do this without. Crown looked tired and worn down, but he was here. The same place he's been since the two of us met, even when I tried my hardest to push him away.
"I wanted to see them," I replied, stepping aside so he could come closer. "Plus, I need to start moving around more."
"You don't have to do shit if you're not ready."
"But my mom said—"
"I know what Lakelyn said," he cut in gently, "but I need you here with me for at least fifty more years. That means I need you to rest. What your body went through was magical."
"Women have babies every day," I huffed.
"They do, and their niggas should kiss the ground they walk on for it. They're not mine though… you are, and I'ma let you know how grateful I am that you gave me my triplets."
His gaze shifted past me to our children, and everything in his face changed.
"I still can't believe lil' man was hiding behind his sisters."
"Right!" I softly squealed. "Do you think I should apologize to Dr. Holloway for threatening to sue her?"
During the surgery, I was in and out of it because of the medication.
I remembered hearing the girls cry… but just when Crown was telling me how beautiful they were, Dr. Holloway said there was one more.
I didn't even remember hearing him cry, but I definitely remembered cursing that woman out for giving me a third baby I wasn't expecting.
"I don't think an apology is gonna fix it." Crown laughed. "You called that lady everything but a child of God."
"I'll just blame the medicine. It'll be fine." I shrugged. "What do you want to name them?"
"You know, while you were pregnant, I wasn't even thinking about names. It wasn't until I was on my way here that something popped into my head."
"Please don't say anything crazy like Glasses." I frowned.
"Hell no." He laughed, then pulled me in close. "We went through a lot to get here."
"We did, but what does that gotta do with baby names?"
"Everything. Before you, I knew love, but I didn't know shit about true love. You taught me what that looks like. And yeah, we had to go through hell to get our happy ending, but I'll do it over and over again because I know at the end of it there's something I'd give my life for."
"Crown, please don't make me cry," I whispered.
"I'm not trying to, but for our daughters, I was thinking True Gravehart and Bliss Gravehart."
My stomach fluttered.
"True because no matter how ugly it got between us, there was never a version of me that didn't belong to you. And Bliss, because after all the chaos and all the pain, we still found peace in each other."
"I love it."
My hand slipped into my pocket, pulling out the folded letter I'd been holding onto since I got dressed to wait on ambulance.
"I think we should name our son Honor."
Crown stilled, his brows pulling together as I placed the letter in his hand.
"I was reading this when my contractions really started to hit," I told him.
As Crown unfolded it, I turned back to the glass, gazing at three tiny lives that represented everything we lost and everything we found. True. Bliss. Honor.
River,
Thank you for coming into my brother's life and flipping his world upside down. Without you, Crown wouldn't be the man he is today. A man who stands on principles, and a man who isn't afraid to face himself… or hold a mirror up to the people he loves because he wants better for them.
Crown is a better man because of you and them damn glasses.
I hate we didn't get much time to really get to know each other, and that's on me.
I should've fixed things with Crown a long time ago.
That's probably my biggest regret: missing the moments that mattered and not being there for you two the way I should've been.
By the time you read this, you'll be preparing to give birth in two months or so.
I'm proud of you, and I already know y'all are gonna be fire parents. The twins are lucky to have you.
I owe you an apology. I wish I could be there when it's time to walk you down the aisle like I did for Chosyn.
Just know… if it were up to me, I would've waited longer before making the move on Lucian, but he was getting out of control, and I couldn't risk him hurting anybody I love, especially you and my nieces.
Yeah, Crown slipped and told. Don't be too mad at him.
Four, my wish for you is simple. Keep being the light that guides him because I know Crown will always be the anchor that keeps you grounded. Love on each other and stay best friends. That's what makes y'all work. I hate to ask this of you, but I need a favor.
Crown doesn't listen to anybody the way he listens to you.
My death is gonna hit him hard. He's gonna shut down, and I need you to make sure he doesn't stay there.
I need you to help him understand that this was my gift to my family, one that bought him and Wolfe a chance at a life we never got to live.
He's done with all this street shit. Wolfe too.
They're free now to build something that isn't rooted in pain and survival.
Make sure he does that because he deserves it, and so do you. Kiss the family for me… and make sure my nieces know me. And if down the line you have a son… tell him he had a dope ass uncle who loved him before he even got here.
Love you, Four.
P.S. By the time you read this, a million-dollar donation should've hit your foundation. You're the change this borough needs… just like you and Chosyn were the change my brothers needed.
-Honor
"Four," Crown forced out.
"You don't have to say it," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I already know."
"Thank you."
"Thank you." I smiled.
Crown dipped his head, pressing his lips to mine, his arms settling loosely around my waist. For a moment, we forgot where we were, and it was just us lost in each other like always.
"Ahem!"
We pulled apart to see a full audience staring at us.
"Ma, let them go because the way I'ma disown your daughter if she pops up pregnant won't even be funny," Chosyn sassed, stepping up beside us.
I laughed, glancing past her to see my mom, Gigi, Honey, and Wolfe filling the hallway.
"I thought we were doing a pregnancy pact," I teased.
"Word?" Wolfe said, side eyeing his wife. "You waiting on River to get pregnant to give me another one?"
"No," Chosyn huffed. "Anyway… did we name the babies yet?"
I shook my head, already knowing Chosyn wasn't trying to have that conversation.
"Yup. Do you want to do the honors?" I smiled at Crown, and he stepped forward like he was about to announce royalty.
"Four and I would like to present to y'all our babies, True, Bliss, and Honor Gravehart."
The hallway went dead quiet.
"Damn," Wolfe muttered, his eyes locking on my son, "you stole my idea."
"Nigga, Chosyn's not giving you another one, so suck it up," Crown shot back.
"Don't speak for me." Chosyn laughed.
"Ight," Crown shrugged, "if she gives you a son, he can be Honor the third."
"Well, I think the names are beautiful," my mother interjected, smiling proudly.
"I second that," Gigi chimed in, already moving us out of the way. "Now move so we can see these babies."
Crown and I stepped back, falling beside Wolfe, Chosyn, and Honey.
"Y'all got a bitch ready to believe in love again," Honey sniffled.
"It's out there. You just gotta be open to it," I told her.
"Maybe," she smiled softly. "Any of y'all heard from Navy?"
"Nope," I answered.
"Nah," Wolfe added.
We both looked at Crown and Chosyn, who suddenly got real quiet.
"I haven't heard from her since I picked her up from the hospital," Crown relayed, shrugging.
Something about that felt off, but I didn't press because I knew what it felt like to lose the love of your life suddenly.
"I've heard from Navy," Chosyn finally said. "She's okay, but she needs time."
"How much time?" Wolfe asked.
Chosyn shrugged. "I don't know, but she did say she was leaving Gravehart Grove."
"What?" I frowned. "To go where?"
"I don't know, but she needs this."
"What are you not telling us?" Honey pressed.
"It's not my place."
"I guess we still keeping secrets." Wolfe chuckled humorlessly.
"It's not a secret, and you know I don't keep anything from you," Chosyn defended. "It's just not my business to tell. When the time is right, Navy will explain. For now, just know she needs this time."
I looked between them all, then let out a quiet breath.
"Chosyn is right," I agreed. "Honor gave up his life for all of us to have a fresh start.
If Navy leaving is her way of doing that, then she has every right to do so.
As for us, we don't waste what he died for, we live.
Even when it hurts, because that's what Honor did.
" I looked at Wolfe and Crown, who nodded.
"We've all been in survival mode for so long that we forgot what stillness feels like."
My gaze wandered toward the glass.
"But Honor changed that for us. Stillness doesn't have to feel like fear anymore. It can feel like space to heal and finally to live."
A tear slipped down my cheek as I pressed my hand against the glass, looking at my babies… True, Bliss, and Honor.
"Thank you," I whispered, unsure if I was saying it to him… to us… or to the life waiting on the other side of all this, but I meant it. Because even in his absence, Honor didn't leave us empty. He left us a new beginning.