CHAPTER TWELVE
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I had gone back to the house and waited for her. I watched as two hours passed before I heard the locks click. When she came inside, she didn’t even notice I was sitting on the couch.
“You like that nigga, don’t you?” I blurted out.
She couldn’t even close the front door as she jumped at my voice. “Shit, Dio! You scared me.”
“You should be scared, Mars,” I mumbled. “Let me tell you why. I sat in the back of the fucking club watching you. You letting that nigga grab all on your ass and shit!” I barked.
“I was just dancing. Relax. Is that a crime?”
As I rose from the couch, the front door opened to Chevy and Zaria stepping inside, each one with one of the twins straddling their chest. I could see both of them staring at us, but I didn’t give a fuck.
I had some shit to say, and it was going to be said with or without Chevy and Z there.
My eyes bounced to Chevy because I knew he was ready to say something.
“Respectfully, Chev, don’t say shit to me.”
I turned back to Mars and pointed at her. “Samara, you weren’t just dancing. That shit I saw was a girl who wanted to be in another nigga’s face. This very same girl who didn’t want to be in the club when I went.”
Her eyes bounced to Chevy and Zaria, but they weren’t controlling this situation.
Samara always wanted to be the star of their show, but tonight, that star was gone because this situation was going to happen.
“Don’t look at them. They don’t sleep with you every night.
They're not the ones holding you when you have a bad day, pouring into you like you’re the center of their universe.
It’s me. So, direct that shit right here. ”
Zaria stood between us, and right then, something in Samara clicked.
She extended her arm, pushing Zaria out of the way.
“You're mad because I wanted to leave the club early with you? Because I wanted to talk about our fucking relationship, one that seems to have fucking secrets! Nigga, do you sleep with me every night? Because the last couple of weeks, you haven’t fucking been here!”
I flicked the hoodie off, and Chevy ran up. My head turned to him. Face to face. Eye. To. Eye. “Chev, for real, my nigga, back the fuck off,” I gritted as my head slowly turned back to Samara. “Secrets? I don’t know who got in your head, but the Mars I know is smarter than this.”
“How would you feel if I moved how you did? Huh? If I woke up one morning and out of nowhere said I wanted to move the fuck out with no explanation?”
I knew she was right, and I had no rebuttal. She moved closer toward me. “Exactly! Fucking secrets!”
I shook my head. “Secrets, secrets, fucking secrets! Let me share the secret. I’m pledging, Samara.
I’m pledging for a fraternity, one that would open more fucking doors for me.
One that is supposed to show me things to be a better nigga, the type of nigga I was trying to be for you!
I couldn’t say shit because it’s a loyalty thing, so I did what I thought was best, and it’s clear I fucked up because look at us. ”
She stood there. I could tell she somewhat felt bad, but she knew she was in too deep and wasn’t going to back down.
“Why didn’t you just say that? You could have given me a hint.
Instead, you chose to sneak around this muhfucka like a thief in the night, leaving me to assume!
So, yes, I thought you were cheating! Yes, I thought you were purposely distancing yourself from me.
Dio, you said fuck me! So, now it’s fuck you! ” she yelled.
A nigga was breaking inside. How the fuck did we get here?
Did I think that not telling her that I was pledging would turn into this?
No. For every moment I was doing the right thing, I felt like I had done a hundred things wrong.
However, her saying fuck me was some other type of shit, and it pissed me off. I moved closer to her.
“That’s how you feel, huh? Fuck me?” I barked.
“Yes!” she shouted back.
Zaria had come from the back room after putting the twins down. “You guys need to relax,” she said to us, but it was too late because the words that were being exchanged couldn’t be taken back.
Samara then pointed to me, then back to herself. “You treat me like fucking property, not like your girl you say you love. Don’t do this, Mars. Bet not let me catch you doing that, Mars! You got these niggas pulling me off the dance floor like a kid. What type of shit is that?!”
I never wanted her to feel like property. I did want her to understand the role she played in my life, and it wasn’t like the other Zoo Babies. Samara was supposed to be different. She was handpicked for me, and she didn’t see it.
“You're not property, Samara. You're my girl. You talk about the what-ifs. What if it was me, the nigga, doing with some female what that nigga did to you? Huh!?”
“Dio, you know what? Just stop. It’s clear you don’t see me as your girl because whatever you Zoo niggas got going on, I’m not a part of it, so miss me,” she hissed before flicking her wrist as if she was waving me off.
“Let me tell you what an Orange Light Special is.” I paused as I placed my prayer hands to my lips.
“That’s when I, Dionysus, choose someone I would give my fucking life for and put her on.
I’ll do every fucking thing I can to make sure it’s a night she will never forget.
This is a moment of deep connection, intimacy, and growth in our relationship and our love.
It’s the moment that I know the girl I have been riding with can withstand anything, and no matter fucking what, she will always choose me, but you just showed me that you ain’t that one. ”
Tears welled in her eyes and mine. I couldn’t believe this was where we ended up. Her lips trembled, and I could see her emotions starting to get the best of her. Samara drew her hand back and slapped me. I grabbed her wrist and spun it behind her back before pushing her against the wall.
“Don’t you ever put your fucking hands on me again!”
“Whoa, shit! Y’all, calm the fuck down!” Chevy barked.
My head turned toward him as my nose flared. “I said back off!”
Samara’s panting became loud. We stood there staring into each other’s eyes. I saw my fucking wife, but it was clear she didn’t see me as her husband. I saw a future, and it was clear she didn’t even see the present.
“Let me go!” she spat.
Now my lips were trembling because my heart was breaking. “No!” I choked up.
Letting go was like me releasing her into the universe, and that I wasn’t ready for. “Nigga, what you mean I ain’t the one? It was me who was there when you were all fucked up in the head. Who chose you over Keith, even after you chose another bitch over me? Me! And you’re saying shit like that?!"
Her eyes closed as the tears streamed down her face. “I shared a dark piece of me with you,” I whispered before I finally let her go.
“Dio, get the fuck out before I—"
It was like she wasn’t hearing me and I fucking lost it. “Before you what!?” My voice bounced off the walls.
Whap!
I hit the wall. “What, Samara!”
Whap!
Chevy came over to me, grabbing me by the back of my sweater. I was losing my fucking mind.
Whap! Whap! Whap! I drilled the wall.
“I know this shit hurts, Dio, but you’ve got to calm down. Nigga, I get it.”
I pulled away from Chevy as I ran into Samara’s face, slapping my hands on my chest. “A nigga dedicates his life to you, and this is what the fuck I get!? I’m out here trying to be a better nigga for you, and you spit in my fucking face!”
Chevy tried to grab me and pull me out of the crib. “Come on, nigga. Not right now.”
She ran in my face as Zaria tried pulling her back.
“I dedicated my life to you! I stood beside you in every fucking decision you made. All you had to do was fucking tell me. I would never cheat on you. I have never put any nigga before you!” she screamed.
“I didn’t move to Toussaint for myself. I moved here for us! ” She started sobbing.
That was the moment I knew the love I had for Mars exceeded anything I could imagine. Tears poured out of me because she was my fucking safe space. She was my peace, and all that was being stripped away from me.
“Really, Samara!” I shouted. Our tears were in sync. “You said you loved me!” I yelled. “This ain’t fucking love!”
“Samara!” Zaria shouted.
“Zaria, leave me the fuck alone and shut up!” Samara yelled at her.
I was losing control. I knew something wasn’t right because look at how she was talking to Z.
“Look at you! Somebody got in your fucking head!” I gripped the sides of the doors as Chevy struggled to pull me out.
“You’re killing me, Dio,” she cried as Zaria wrapped her arms around Samara as she sobbed her way down to the floor.
“You’re killing me! My fucking heart hurts! On God, my heart hurts!” I cried.
Chev tugged one more time before he pulled me out of the apartment. Beans stood outside Paige’s door. He came over to me to talk, but I wasn’t hearing any of that shit. For the first time, I saw sadness in Chevy’s eyes.
Beans came in front of me, “Chill, my nigga. This shit is just a misunderstanding,” he said.
“Fuck that!” I shouted as I wiped my face. “Beans, that dean of yours is a dead nigga!” I barked as I walked off.
A switch flipped in me, and I knew Demonysus had placed Dionysus on a temporary vacation.