XAVIER
Phoebe’s light snores were the current tune as her head rested on my lap while I sat gazing at the TV.
I tried not to focus on the scars she had on her thighs, but knowing Shorty was destroying her flesh bothered me.
It made me play out different scenarios in my mind about what could have happened to make her do something like that.
Were her parents abusive? Did she get raped?
Is she depressed? I didn’t know, and going into the unknown with someone was scarier than not knowing whether I would ever have a basketball career.
My phone lit up nonstop with texts and calls. I leaned forward, grabbing it to see, and the only thing that stood out was that they could not find Dio.
“Shit!” I mumbled.
I knew right then shit with him and Samara went left. I leaned forward and kissed Phoebe’s forehead.
“Einstein, wake up,” I whispered in her ear.
Her eyes fluttered open.
“I gotta shake. I’ll get up with you tomorrow, promise,” I told her.
I could tell she didn’t want me to leave, and I didn’t want to. This was just the beginning with her and me, and the last thing I wanted to do was crowd her space and cause her to push me away.
I got up, slipped into my hoodie, and left.
I was told to meet up at Beans’ house, so that was exactly where I went.
When I pulled up and saw Chevy and a worried Zu with Beans, Jalen, and Scooter, I knew shit was about to get nasty.
I could barely get out of the car before Zu’s roar lit up the block.
“Fuck, Dio!”
“Hu-hu-he’s n-n-n-not answering,” Jalen said.
I looked at Beans then at Chevy. “What happened?”
“A fucked-up situation. Do any of you know where he could be? This fucking town isn’t that goddamn big.”
I shrugged. “Nah, Chev.”
Zu looked at me as if I had done something. “If anything happens to him, I swear to fucking God y’all niggas are going to be doing online courses.”
Beans walked over toward Zu. “I think I may know where he is.”
We all began to head toward the cars when Chevy stopped us. “Nah, Dio needs this time with Zu. Beans, take him. Peanut, Streets, y’all come with me. Scooter,” he paused.
Scooter held his hand up. “I’m good. I’m going back to my girl. When y’all find out that he’s good, just let me know. That’s my twin, and I get it,” he said as he hopped in his car and backed out.
The way Chevy looked at me, he knew that pointing my brother and me out was about to turn into something big.
When we were back inside Beans’ crib, he looked at us both. “Tell me what you two niggas been up to,” he demanded.
Jalen glanced at me. I shook my head. “Basically, Jalen’s been looking out. He’s been carrying me through college,” I mumbled.
Chevy crossed his arms over his chest. “Say what?”
“He’s been doing a nigga’s work.”
Chevy pointed between the two of us. “How did you get in this muhfucka? Because you got to take the SAT or ACT, so—”
“I took it myself and passed. It’s just once I got on campus and got into the groove of things, I felt like I didn’t need to do the work because my skills on the court were more powerful.”
He let off a sinister laugh. “Oh, so you’re a lazy nigga?
You’re smart enough to do the work, but don’t want to do it.
You’re one of those niggas who think they're too good for the hustle. So, you used your brother, who should be in the same position as you are right now. The nigga who really deserves your seat.”
What he was saying was true, but the way he said it made me angry. “Yes, my brother deserves to be here, but it doesn’t mean I don’t, so chill with that shit, for real.”
Chevy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you? Nigga, you’re a junior.
That’s damn near three years he’s—” he pointed to Jalen as he walked up to me, “—been carrying yo coward ass. Now stop me when I’m wrong.
That nigga has passed courses for you. That nigga has made you look like the fucking scholar you are.
It sounds to me like you don’t deserve shit, and when you fuck over good people, bad shit happens to you,” he finished as his eyes landed on my foot.
He turned to Jalen. “What do you want? Huh? I’ve watched you carry your brothers, but what about you? What does Jalen want? That shit y’all were doing stops today. Do you want to be at TSU?”
Jalen looked at me, then back at Chevy. I knew my brother wanted to be in college despite his speech impediment. Jalen had the potential to be great, and I was being selfish. I knew I had fucked up, and although Jalen was forgiving, it was me who couldn’t forgive myself.
“I-I-I wa-wa-want to—” he closed his eyes as he slowed down, “—to go to college,” he got out smoothly.
“Then we’ll make that shit happen. Streets, now is your time to figure your shit out. Just as you want to be successful, so does he. Don’t hinder the great because those are the ones who open doors for niggas like you. As he been doing,” he said and walked off.
Jalen looked at me. “S-s-s-s-sorry.”
He didn’t need to apologize for being his brother’s keeper. Now it was my time to sit in the fucked-up shit I’d done.