Chapter PERCY
PERCY
Since walking away from the line, a nigga was stuck.
I hadn’t been to class or training with the football team.
During the day, I would take Tink to the park, or we would chill somewhere outside the area.
At night, we cuddled in the car and slept.
I debated whether to return to Cedar Oaks but didn’t want to miss school, so I stayed, hoping for a miracle.
Royce had reached out to me, but I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even show my face, let alone talk to her.
I wasn’t embarrassed about my daughter but about the current state of my life.
I couldn’t believe I came this far and couldn’t hold it together.
The check-in with my Nan started to become too much because, although she was back at home, she now had a caregiver. There was no way I could put Breann back on her.
The fucked-up part of it all was that my own friend, who knew what I had going on, didn’t even reach out to me to make sure a nigga was cool.
While Breann slept, I finally decided to call Royce. The phone didn’t ring before she picked up.
“I’ve been calling you. Is everything okay?” she asked.
I settled in my seat while trying to find a way to tell her I was going to have to move back to Cedar Oaks. Royce and I hadn’t been on any dates, but the little time we did share was cool. She was someone I would have definitely liked to get to know.
I ran my hand over my face while releasing a breath of frustration. “I’m a’ight. Things have been tough. I haven’t been to my classes, I am no longer pledging, and now...” I paused. “Now I got to move back to Cedar Oaks. A nigga has no other option.”
The phone fell silent. “Have you talked to the counselor or anything to see what options they have? You're on a scholarship, Percy. You can’t just give up.”
It all sounded good. However, I needed something instant; doing that would take time, and I didn’t have that.
“Royce, it’s not that easy. I have a daughter who’s depending on me.
Her momma ain’t shit. My Nan, she’s home, but she isn’t in a state where she can take care of my daughter.
A nigga made this bed, so he gone lay it. ”
“Where are you now?” she asked.
I glanced around. “Shit, in the school parking lot.”
“Come to me, or I can come to you,” she muttered.
I wasn’t sure why she cared so much, and she barely knew me; maybe it was that southern belle type shit.
While trying to decide if I was going to go see her or stay here, my eyes wandered the parking lot, spotting Dean August walking to her car.
I took a quick look in the back seat at my daughter, who was still sleeping, then at Dean August.
“Royce, let me call you back. I promise I will,” I said and hung up.
I rolled the window down a little and quickly hopped out. I jogged across the parking lot, trying to catch the dean, or, for me, Ms. Cecily. “Dean August!” I yelled.
She turned to look at me, holding a smile on her face. “Percy, I haven’t seen you in a while. Why don’t you stop by the house for dinner anymore?”
The reason was simple: it was because Jesaiah and I kind of fell off. I wanted to do the small talk, but I didn’t have it in me. “Things have been happening. I—” I paused as I looked back at my car, “—I have a problem. I have a daughter, and—”
“Wait. When did you have a baby?”
I scratched the back of my head. “Long story, but she’s one. I wanted to ask you if there is any daycare or program that can help me. I’m only asking because if I cannot find anyone or any resources, I’m going to have to drop out, and that will be the end of my scholarship.”
Her eyes were filled with sadness. She understood how much effort I had put in since my freshman year, even during the year I was injured.
She encouraged me to stay focused, recover, and stay on course.
She almost saved my scholarship the first time.
Now, I found myself once again needing her assistance.
Ms. Cecily was a great woman, who reminded me a lot of my Nan.
I knew if no one else had the answer, she would.
“Where is the child’s mother? She goes here?”
I glanced back at my car. “Nah. She lives back in Cedar Oaks.”
Her lips tightened as she gave me a slight nod.
“I will look into it for you and let you know. You know, we make these beds and don’t realize what it looks like on the other side until it’s time to lie in them.
That’s when we realize the bed should never have been made.
Percy, I don’t doubt that you love your child, and I know school is important to you, but have you considered what’s best for that child?
Now, I’m not saying you can’t be a father, but there are people out there who will love her just as much as you do while giving her everything she needs. ”
I knew what she was alluding to, but I didn’t want to do that. “You mean just as you and Jesaiah are?”
She let out a sharp breath. “Maybe we can find a way that will allow you to care for her and attend school part-time. Now, I can’t promise you’ll still be able to participate in football, but I can see to it that you still get your education.”
Hearing her basically say I was practically going to lose my scholarship hurt; however, being able to truly move forward and do something with myself was a relief.
She glanced down at her keyring and pulled one off.
“Two houses down from mine to the right. The brick house. Don’t ask; just go.
I see you keep looking at your car, and I know you can’t take a child in those dorms. I’ll come by and make sure you have what you need.
How can we expect excellence when we’re not pouring into those we expect to be excellent? ”
A nigga hadn’t cried since finding out I had gotten accepted into a college, but Dean August had me feeling soft. A tear rolled down my face as I closed my hand around the key. “How is Jesaiah even your nephew? You two can’t be cut from the same cloth.”
She smiled. “Everyone can’t be saved.” She winked and got into her car.
I watched as she safely backed out and drove off. Shit wasn’t perfect, but at least I knew it would be alright. I hurried back to my car to see my daughter still sleeping. I unlocked the door and got in. Moments later, the passenger side opened.
“I figured I’d come to you. Look, I know I was being tough shit before, but I don’t want to see you drop out. We need Black men, and it’s going to be hard, but I will help when I can,” Royce said.
I chuckled. “All that shit sounds good, but Breann is my responsibility, not yours. You have enough on your plate. If I can have one ask, it would be that you just be a nigga’s friend along the way.”
I could see her blushing, and that made me feel good. I knew this was the start of a new life for me, but I also knew this shit wasn’t going to be easy.