Chapter 6 #2
My heart started racing as soon as Danny started talking, and now it’s dropping into my gut. “I know all of that,” I grit out.
“Don’t get your emotions involved. That’s always been rule one.”
“I know it is.”
“So take your own advice.”
“I’m doing the best I can.”
He must hear something in my voice because he backs off. He leans over to wipe another table. But he glances back and asks over his shoulder, “What is it about the guy anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
“Something about him got through all the walls you’ve always put up. And I can’t really see what it is myself. You just really like the burly, grunting lumberjack type?”
“He’s not like that!” I’m smiling now because Danny is obviously teasing. “He’s a lot smarter than you’d think, and he’s… I don’t know. Considerate. He treats me like a person. I like him.”
“Okay. I can understand that. But just because he treats you like a person doesn’t mean you’re the love of his life. He’s not going to take you away from all this. He’s not going to save you from this world.”
“I know.”
“There is no being saved from this world.”
“I know that too, Danny. I really do. I’ve just been… enjoying myself a little. Do you really think I need to stop?”
“As long as it’s just enjoying right now and not hoping for something more.”
I’m still thinking about Danny’s words later in the evening and wondering if he’s right. Maybe I’ve really messed up. Maybe I’ve been unforgivably stupid. Maybe I fell for a customer who might be better than all the others but is never going to think of me as anything but a prostitute.
Maybe I need to not see him again.
I try to imagine myself doing it, and I can’t. It’s never going to happen. So instead, I need to do whatever I can to protect my heart when I’m with him.
Surely I can manage that much.
There’s a stranger sitting at Cade’s normal table tonight. I’ve never seen him before. He’s as big as Cade with close-cropped hair and pale gray eyes.
He looks like he was in the Army, and he’s wearing camo pants and a gray T-shirt with dog tags around his neck.
He drank his two beers and ate stew and hasn’t said a word to anyone. So I’m surprised when, at almost closing time, he waves me over.
“Is everything all right?” I ask him. He’s been perfectly polite, but I keep my distance. He’s an unknown quantity, and you never know what a man will do.
“Yeah. Thanks. I have some questions if you got a minute.”
I blink in surprise. Then glance around at the folks lingering in my section. They’ve all had their food and drinks and are simply hanging out until closing. They don’t need my attention. So I say, “Sure,” and I take the empty chair at his table. “I’ll help if I can.”
“I’m looking for my brother. I got word he might’ve been moving in this direction, so I thought he might’ve stopped here on his way.”
“Oh. Maybe so. Is there anything you can tell me about him?”
“He’s traveling with a gang of rough types. They were on motorcycles last I heard. One of the guys with him has a shaved head and an eagle tattooed on his scalp.”
“Ah!” I now know exactly who he’s talking about. “Yeah, they came through here a couple of weeks ago. There were about ten of them?”
“That sounds right. My brother looks a lot like me.”
I try to think back about the group. They were loud and obnoxious and sat in Sarah’s section. One of them got grabby, and Trevor had to toss him out. “Okay, maybe. I think there was a guy like that with them. Could he maybe have grown out a beard?”
“Yeah. That’s definitely possible. So you think you might’ve seen him?”
“Yes. There was one guy with a beard who had eyes like you. I bet he was your brother. So you’re looking for him?”
“He took off with that gang, and he’s gonna get in big trouble. I know he is. So I’ve been trying to follow his trail for a couple of months now. You don’t know which way they were headed, do you?”
“No. But hold on. Let me go ask Sarah if she heard anything when they were in her section.”
“Thanks.”
He’s a big, solid, serious guy, and he’s not nearly as rough as he looks. I feel bad for him chasing his brother like that. Talk about a doomed cause.
I find Sarah in the kitchen, ask her what she remembers, and then come back out to report to the man.
“Sarah says they were talking about heading south to a town they’d heard hadn’t been looted yet. I don’t think they’ll have much luck with it. Take the old highway—460—east and turn south at the big abandoned church. It’s down that way about thirty or forty miles.”
“Okay. Thanks. That’s a big help. I appreciate it.” He reaches into his pack and pulls out a small bag of fruit candy. “This is all I got that might work for a tip. Is it okay?”
“Okay? That would be amazing! I haven’t had candy in more than a year. But you don’t have to give that to me. I didn’t do that much.”
“You were nice to me. I won’t forget it.” He hands me the candy as he stands up, pulling his pack with him and hooking it over his shoulder. He has an empty holster on his belt and a rifle strap without a rifle. Like everyone else, he had to leave his guns at the door. “Thanks. What’s your name?”
“My name is Jill.”
“I’m Cole. If I’m back in this direction, I’ll stop in again.”
“You should. Until then, be careful. I hope you find your brother.”
I wave once more as he walks out. Then Danny sidles over with a sly grin. “So you’re taking my advice then?”
“What?” I blink at him in confusion.
“Checking out other men.”
I roll my eyes, which is all the response his teasing deserves.