Chapter 44
— Remmy —
“So…” Scout started as soon as I clicked off the hairdryer after drying his elbow wound on the coolest setting. “… I’ve been thinking.”
I hummed while opening sterile dressing pads.
“You and I have our own challenges…”
A scoff left my nose as I glanced up. “You mean various shades of fucked up.”
He chuckled. “Exactly. But I think I’ve come up with a plan that will help. We’ve already got Cillian to cook, Linney for physiotherapy, but I think we need support… mentally.” His gaze, which had tracked my movements, cut to my face. Caution pinched his expression.
“As in a shrink?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
Shrugging, I refocused on dressing his wound. “Sure.”
Surprise colored Scout’s voice. “Sure?”
Despite amusement tugging my mouth, my heart kicked up a gear at the thought of rehashing everything again. I knew from experience that it was good for me—that I’d need sessions again at some point.
“Yeah, sure.” I shrugged. “I’ve got a psychologist, it’s same ol’ rodeo for me. Do you have someone in mind for yourself? Excuse the pun.”
He let out a humored snort before murmuring, “We have a list of available service providers including counselors since we don’t have a team one. I’ll make some calls today and organize home visits.”
I nodded, knowing I had to do the same. “Me too. But I can Uber to mine.”
Scout shook his head and nursed his elbow when I finished fussing over him. “Not necessary. They can come here. Both of ours. At separate times, obviously, but I’d prefer to do this here.”
I studied his expression, finding only sincerity and determination. He held my stare without backing down, until I finally nodded. “Okay.”
His dark brows shot high. “Okay?” Suspicion then drew his eyebrows low while he squinted at me. “That was too easy. What’s the catch?”
Pressing my hands to Scout’s chest and smoothing them up his pecs, I smiled and leaned into him. His steady, strong pulse beat against my palms before I brought them together at the base of his throat and circled them around the base of his muscular neck.
“There’s no catch.”
He smiled back, holding my gaze and snaking his large, warm hand around my hip. “Thank fuck for that,” he breathed out with a dramatic exhale, making me laugh against his lips.
Our laughter combined, creating the sweetest melody around us. The look in Scout’s eyes had my inhale catching. It made my heart beat a little faster and my breath grow shallow. What I saw confronted the hell out of me. He’d told me outright that he loved me, but I hadn’t seen it so blatant, so raw until now. His expression, almost pained, weakened my knees. I swallowed around the lump restricted my throat.
The gentle sway of our bodies worked a spell around us, cementing Scout further into my heart. Into the depths where he would stay for eternity, no matter what the future held for us. I was so far down the path of no return it hurt.
“Fuck you’re beautiful,” I whispered, unable to process the yearning burning in my chest.
I expected a smartass retort, or a chuckle. In the very least a little tug of his lips. Instead, the color of his brown eyes intensified as if his soul spoke directly to mine.
Slowly, Scout shook his head. With a gentle nudge to my chin with one hooked finger, he demanded my mouth higher. His sharp attention divided between my eyes and my mouth.
As my eyes fell closed, his mouth dipped to mine.
Within that blissful moment between our lips hovering and meeting, he whispered, “And you’re beyond it.”
He kissed me as if I was everything he craved. His hand roved my back, mapping each curve and contour between my shoulders and my ass, all while the fingers of his injured arm bit into my torso, holding me in place. Not that I was going anywhere. God no. Not while he worshiped my body, fully clothed, as if I was dipped in gold.
In the background, the doorbell chimed, announcing Linney’s arrival.
Scout and I groaned, the sounds of disappointment blurring into one as our tongues stole one last leisurely swipe.
“That’s my cue to go to the spare room,” I murmured.
“Linney can wait.”
I giggled quietly. “I’m sure she’ll disagree. And besides, my client is getting demanding—apparently I’m not giving him enough content already.”
Scout caught my inner elbow as I stepped away, his eyes flashing with possession that made my gut clench. “Best you tell him to back down or I’ll have somethin’ to say about it.”
I patted his chest. “I love it when you get growly, it gets me hot. I’ll be thinking about you while running my feet up and down—”
His mouth met mine again. This time hard and punishing. His grip turned rough as he demanded me close. He nipped at my lower lip until I opened for him. Tongue lashing mine, I kissed back equally as hard, not backing down when the doorbell chimed a second time.
With a deep, tortured groan, Scout pressed his forehead to mine. “You fucking tease. Now I have to open the door with a boner.”
I gave said boner a little pat. “Let’s hope Linney doesn’t notice.”
Dodging out of his grasp before he hauled me back in for more “punishment”, I paused at the doorway and glanced over my shoulder, unable to stop snickering as he grumbled while adjusting himself.
I made it to the spare room by the time he called, “Coming!” to Linney and hurried down the stairs to greet her.
In the background, I heard her blatantly snort then ask, “I wasn’t interrupting something, was I? You’re looking a little… flushed.”
While I couldn’t make out his rumbling reply, a curse was definitely involved.
Still snickering, I started to prepare for a filming session but paused after shutting the spare room door.
I eyed the sex machine. It was a job through and through. I didn’t love it per se, but today, a weight bore heavier in my heart. For the first time since dating Scout, I felt a stab of hesitancy in my chest. A gnawing sense of guilt like I was somehow cheating on him.
It’s just a job I reminded myself. For an anonymous client, just like always.
Pushing those niggling thoughts from my mind proved impossible as I got myself set up, and the realization of why hit me like a ton of bricks: broken, scars, treatment, and all, I just wanted to be at Scout’s side through it all. Unfortunately, the only way to get there was to work harder.
So I created as much content as I could, all while Scout played on my mind.