Chapter 10
HOLLY
Willow and I worked hard for the rest of the day, the light fading as we sat at her kitchen table with hot drinks and a plate of biscuits, which had diminished to nothing by the time her dad returned home.
Dylan joined us for a bit to go through the budget, talking proudly about how she had made the farm profitable over the past two years.
Both of them were keen to keep it that way.
They seemed very different but I sensed that he admired her big ideas and clearly loved Willow for all her quirks.
And I could by see the admiration in her eyes as he went through his spreadsheet that she loved his logical side and felt exactly the same way about him.
‘Time to stop work,’ Adam told us then, asking us to clear the table so we could eat together. ‘You too, Holly. You’re part of the farm now.’
That surprised me. I thought I’d do my own thing outside of work hours but they all told me to stay, and something did smell delicious on top of the Aga behind us.
‘Good job I made slow-cooker beef today; it’s been a long one for us all,’ Adam said as he brought over a steaming bowl of beef stew followed by mashed potato and green beans.
It smelled of garlic and looked hearty, making my stomach rumble on cue.
‘I wonder if this cruise will be worth all the hassle,’ Adam added, grimacing as he told us how he’d picked out a suit finally.
‘You’ll have an amazing time,’ Willow said as Dylan poured out a glass of red wine for the three of us. ‘Think about us here trying to manage the winter wonderland, and handling Dylan’s family…’ Her eyes twinkled as she teased him.
I glanced at Dylan. ‘Should I be worried?’
‘I kind of am,’ he admitted. ‘We haven’t been in touch much since I came to live here. I decided to extend an olive branch and invite them for Christmas but they were planning to go skiing so somehow it turned into them coming to stay for a couple of weeks. I just want it to go well.’
‘It will if your brother isn’t the jerk he was when I first met him,’ Willow replied dryly as she passed me the potatoes.
I loaded up my plate, thinking I hadn’t bothered to cook a meal like this for myself for ages.
Living alone had made me lazy when it came to cooking, I had to admit.
‘Hopefully, this will dispel any tension,’ she added, gesturing to her baby bump.
‘We haven’t told them,’ Dylan said to me. ‘It’s a surprise for when they get here.’
‘You weren’t sure they’d come if they knew about the baby?’ I asked, thinking that Dylan’s relationship with his family sounded just as uneasy as mine.
‘They don’t approve of me,’ Willow said before Dylan could answer.
‘Then they need to sort themselves out!’ Adam broke in, shaking his head. ‘They only have to look at the two of you to know you were always meant to be. I could see it straight away; you argued so much, it was like you were already married! Speaking of which…’
Willow rolled her eyes. ‘You know me, Dad: not traditional in any way. We’ll get there one day.
’ She turned to me. ‘They couldn’t understand why Dylan stopped working for his brother, Nate, at his property development company, and came to live and work here.
Farming isn’t what they planned for him. Nor was I. I’m not rich.’
‘They aren’t that bad,’ Dylan said, but then he sighed.
‘Well, they do have some opinions that are very rigid but I’m hoping once they’re on the farm, with all the festive fun that will be going on, and see how happy we are and that we are about to become a family, they’ll realise this is my life now. And accept it. Maybe even support it.’
‘I wouldn’t count on it,’ I couldn’t help but say darkly. ‘My mum hasn’t ever forgiven me for leaving Birchbrook. And I’ve never forgiven my dad for leaving us, and that was all ten years ago.’
Dylan raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Your mum will be happy to have you back in town for a few weeks surely.’
‘She asked if I’d visit her at home. I haven’t been there since I left, though.’
‘The cottage is so pretty,’ Willow said. ‘Maybe you’ll be happy to see it again?’
‘Maybe there are too many bad memories,’ I replied, distracting myself by tasting more of Adam’s amazing stew.
‘I’ve felt that way about my childhood home,’ Dylan said. ‘After my mum died, it wasn’t the same there.’ He glanced around the kitchen. ‘It’s so different here. So warm and inviting.’
‘Sometimes, we put too much stock into the bricks around us,’ Adam said.
‘It’s the people inside that make a place a home.
You both have had tough parts of your childhood to deal with and maybe you’ve put some of that blame into the house you were in at the time, but look at me and Willow.
We lost my lovely wife, Willow’s mum, here but we wanted to stay and be in the place she loved so fiercely.
We knew she would want us to keep the farm going and that’s what we’ve done,’ he added, looking at Willow with love and pride.
My stomach curled with something like longing.
I wished I had that relationship with my mum, and wished my dad wasn’t a missing part of my life.
‘You two inspired me to try to heal things with my dad and Nate,’ Dylan told them.
‘And my friend Blake repaired his relationship with his family when he stayed here. He got married on the farm to Willow’s cousin Daisy,’ he added to me.
‘It made me think about the future. I would want my family by my side when I marry Willow one day.’
I couldn’t picture myself getting married, let alone having my family there celebrating the fact. ‘I’m not sure I can ever heal things with my family,’ I admitted. ‘God, you guys get deep quickly,’ I added to lighten the atmosphere. ‘Are you secretly therapists?’
Willow grinned. ‘We always say Birch Tree Farm has a way of changing your life. It might change yours, Holly.’
‘Should I be worried?’ I joked but I hoped it would save my business. That’s all that mattered. The personal things felt too complicated for even this place to fix.
‘Oh, I’ve had a message from Female Pat at the café,’ Willow said then, looking down at her phone on the table after it vibrated with a notification.
‘She said that Paul has had a change of heart and they do want to have the café van at our winter wonderland.’ She met my eyes. ‘I bet that’s because of you.’
‘Me? Why?’ I asked, surprised.
‘I’ve never seen Paul look shocked, ever, and he was stunned to see you here. And now after you popped into the café, they are back on board. He must be so happy to have you back.’
‘No, his mum told him off for saying he wouldn’t do it and said she would or her husband would if they had to. She’s basically forced him into it.’
‘Not sure you can force Paul into anything,’ Dylan commented.
‘Either way, thank goodness, because people love that place and the van is always a draw to our events,’ Willow said as she replied to the message.
I thought back to when I saw him at the café, his reaction to me staying in Birchbrook.
He hadn’t said much. He had seemed pretty grumpy with me and had quickly left to disappear upstairs.
I knew it had been a long time since we’d seen each other but he definitely didn’t seem pleased that I was in town.
I was so curious about the past ten years of his life. I wondered if he’d ever thought about me through the years like I’d thought about him. It hadn’t seemed like he had, though. ‘He wasn’t very chatty with me in the café, although he did remember my old favourite drink.’
‘Paul is never chatty,’ Dylan said with a laugh.
‘He used to be,’ I said, surprised. The grumpy attitude he’d displayed yesterday hadn’t tallied with the teenager I’d known at all. He’d always made me laugh. ‘I guess people change.’
‘You know you’re right,’ Willow said, tilting her head as she considered it. ‘He did used to be friendlier. He always seems to hate living here but he never leaves so we all just think it’s a quirk now. Maybe you can bring the old Paul Ryan back.’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t think he’d appreciate that; he didn’t seem excited to catch up with me. I could try again, I guess. There’s no way I can stop myself from going into the café while I’m here for more sweet treats.’
‘It’s impossible to not want to do that,’ Willow agreed.
I thought about Paul seeming so different to how he had been years ago. It made me wonder why. And if the old Paul Ryan could come back.
I felt bad all over again for closing off our friendship.
It wasn’t his fault I’d hoped for more and then been terrified of it.
We had been so close once. Hanging out with each other at school and then at his parents’ café afterwards.
He’d stuck up for me when people made comments about my family.
We’d studied together and got through our exams with coffee and laughter.
We’d avoided prom, having a scary movie night instead.
I wondered if he ever thought back on those times fondly like I did.
Especially when I was alone in my city apartment, unable to sleep worrying about my business.
Good memories helped me then. And memories of the two of us were good ones.
Ten years ago, I had been scared to tell him how much he meant to me.
And if we had become more than friends, I would never have left Birchbrook.
I was terrified we’d end up like my parents.
Paul hadn’t known any of that, though. He just saw me as his best friend who ditched him for a new life in the city.
He likely thought I was a bitch now. If he even thought about me at all.
Regret rolled over me in waves. I had been young and hurt and decided staying away from Birchbrook was the best thing for me.
Now I was older, I could see that I hadn’t handled things in the best way.
Even if Paul had forgotten all about it, I wanted to try to make some amends with him while I was back. For those kids we had once been.
And what Willow said had made me worry. Paul hadn’t been reserved or grumpy when I’d known him.
What had happened since then? What if he needed a friend?
I didn’t have Georgia around so I definitely could do with a friend here.
There was no prospect of anything romantic between us anyway so I didn’t need to worry like I had when I was younger.
I had decided years ago that I’d never tell him I had longed for more than friendship so I’d stick to that and try to make friends again with Paul Ryan.