Chapter 38
PAUL
Holly had slipped through my fingers again. I think I’d known the instant I woke up yesterday morning – alone – that the spell between us had broken. Lying with her in front of my fire had felt so damn good, like we were in a perfect bubble together.
The problem was, a bubble always pops.
‘She asked for a gingerbread latte.’
‘Huh?’ I looked over at my mum, then at the drink I’d made – a hot chocolate. Holly’s hot chocolate. ‘Fuck,’ I mumbled as I hurriedly started to make the customer, Mrs Taylor, her latte instead.
Mum waited for me to make the drink and take it over to Mrs Taylor’s table and return behind the counter. Then she folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at me. ‘Spill it.’
‘Spill what?’ I asked, pulling my phone out of my pocket for the twentieth time to check even though it was set to loud.
No new notifications. I’d heard nothing from Holly since she left my flat yesterday morning.
Our argument seemed to come out of nowhere but I should have known it would happen when she didn’t respond to my invitation to the Christmas tree-lighting ceremony.
She had agreed to stay the night but no longer.
Maybe she already had one foot out of the door.
She’d asked for time. Maybe there was hope. I had no idea.
All I knew was my apartment had felt more like a home than it ever had when Holly was in it.
‘You’re so distracted. And I know Holly stayed the night,’ Mum said.
When I stared at her, she shrugged. ‘You know what this town is like. Someone saw you both go in, someone saw Holly leave the next morning, everyone has put two and two together, love. Never mind that, what happened? She hasn’t been in the café since. ’
I groaned. ‘This is what I don’t like about Birchbrook: the bloody gossip!’
‘People just want to see you happy. And I thought you were but today…’
‘I don’t know. Holly left. She asked for time but what if she disappears for another ten years?
’ I’d kept so much to myself for so long but I couldn’t help it today; it all came pouring out.
Because Holly had changed everything and now I didn’t know what I’d do if I lost her again. This time, I knew it would be for good.
‘It sounds like she needs to sort things out. I saw you both together – it was like the old days but somehow, it felt more than that. You have this bond that is very special.’
‘How can it be special if she can just walk away from it?’
‘I saw how much pain she was in after her father left; I think it’s made her unsure who to trust, even her own feelings.’
I nodded. I knew Holly wasn’t sure she could rely on me, worried I’d let her down like her father had done.
I also knew she couldn’t have pretended that well the night we spent together.
She’d snuggled into my arms like she never wanted to leave them.
Karl’s phone call had undone all that. It had made her think that she’d never save her business, that she needed to run again.
She couldn’t accept any of the options I gave her.
‘I wanted to help her but she wouldn’t let me.’
‘Maybe she needs to help herself.’
Mum left me then as a customer called her over.
I leaned on the counter, digesting what she’d said.
I’d tried to save the day by suggesting I tackle this dick old boss of hers, telling her she should be with me but maybe Mum was right – Holly had to make these choices for herself now.
She’d left me and this town ten years ago and I had let her go because I knew it was something she needed to do.
I regretted not trying to stop her but maybe I was never supposed to do that.
Maybe we needed these years apart to become the people we were now.
Maybe I had to let her go again and hope she felt the same way that I did, and that she would come back to me.
If you love someone, let them go.
It was a crap cliché but it made me realise in those moments that I loved Holly Wynter.
Maybe I always had done. But I knew it now.
I could define it, admit it to myself, and I could use it to be the best man possible so that when she was ready to love me back, I would deserve her finally after all these years.
Snapping myself out of my funk, I got ready to man the café van at Mistletoe Lane.
Yesterday, I’d asked Dad to do it for one day instead of me, saying I had to go to the supplier.
It could have waited but I didn’t want to go to the farm and see it without Holly there.
And my dad had confirmed she wasn’t there when I’d casually asked him about it later.
Today, I knew I needed to get over myself and get back to the job I was supposed to be doing until Christmas.
I knew I would miss Holly being there by my side like crazy, though.
* * *
When I drove into Birch Tree Farm, there was a group of people outside the polytunnels even though it wasn’t open to the public yet. I drew up and parked the van in the usual spot then I climbed out and wandered over to see what was going on.
It was freezing today. The light snowflakes that had been floating around town since yesterday morning were now falling heavier and thicker, dusting the landscape and landing on top of the synthetic snow on the polytunnels so you didn’t know where one ended and the other began.
I hoped the snow wouldn’t put people off coming to the winter wonderland as it was mostly indoors, but they would need to come outside to the café van and the ice rink.
I walked through the snowflakes to the start of Mistletoe Lane.
Willow was gesturing wildly as she spoke to Dylan, his dad and brother; the ice rink guys were there too, listening to her. I looked beyond them to the polytunnels and realised the snow on the top wasn’t the only thing different to when I’d last been here.
The lights weren’t on anywhere.
‘Paul!’ Willow cried when she saw me. ‘Our main generator has failed. The battery is completely dead. Maybe it’s this snow, I don’t know.
I guess it’s getting old now but we couldn’t afford to replace it plus do all this,’ she said, gesturing to the winter wonderland.
‘The nearest place that has one is not only two hours away but I called them and they have twice the amount of snow that we do so they’re closing for the rest of the day. ’
‘Even if they were open, we wouldn’t have time to get the battery and replace it before opening time,’ Dylan said, rubbing a hand across his face. ‘This is the problem with not having enough money in our emergency budget.’
‘We had no way of knowing it would fail before Christmas,’ Willow said.
She placed a hand on her stomach and sighed.
‘I was worried something bad would happen when Holly left.’ She threw me a glare, letting me know she was blaming me for what was happening right now.
If she thought I should have convinced Holly to stay longer then she needed to join the club.
I blamed myself for not being enough to keep her here too.
‘I don’t think Holly could have solved this,’ Dylan said softly.
‘Can’t you cancel opening? It’s not the end of the world surely,’ Dylan’s brother, Nate said, earning a glare from Willow.
‘We can’t. Not to mention the money we will lose, think about how we’ll disappoint people,’ Willow said. ‘There has to be another option.’
‘This snow will need clearing,’ Dylan’s father said then, looking around.
‘I know that,’ Willow said crossly, evidently fed up with everyone. I understood that feeling well. ‘But when has a bit of snow stopped anyone in Birchbrook?’
‘Will people really want to come out in this weather?’ Nate continued, not getting the message that she’d had enough.
‘I have an idea,’ I said, saving him from her wrath. They all turned to me, eyes full with hope and relief. ‘Let me make a call, okay?’
‘Thanks, Paul. That’s what we need today – problem solvers,’ Willow said, glaring at everyone else. Then she sighed. ‘Sorry, guys, I think it’s the hormones making me irritable. But this could be a real disaster; I’m really worried. And I do wish Holly was still here.’
‘I know, try not to worry. We’ll sort it out somehow.
’ Dylan wrapped an arm around her as I walked away with my phone, longing to know what Holly had said to Willow about why she had to leave earlier than planned.
Had they talked about me? I tried to focus on the problem in hand.
I had to help Holly’s winter wonderland stay open.
She needed her business to get a great name from Mistletoe Lane and that wouldn’t happen if people couldn’t even get here.
Elliot picked up immediately. ‘Hey, man.’
‘Mate, I have a huge favour to ask…’