Chapter 43
PAUL
I gazed out at Birch Tree Farm. It was covered in snow like a blanket had been draped across the land.
The snow had finally stopped falling now that we’d hit late afternoon.
The sky was so grey that with the sun starting to set, it already looked close to night-time.
The twinkling lights of Mistletoe Lane and the surrounding festivities though brightened up the scenery.
I leaned against my van, already exhausted from the day.
All round me, there was a hive of activity.
People had started to arrive to enjoy the winter wonderland now that we’d cleared the drive so they could get to us.
We’d all worked hard clearing the snow off the driveway and main paths and the car park along with the trail from the tunnels out to the ice rink and my van.
Everyone had pitched in. And thanks to the borrowed battery from Elliot, everything had started working again.
I’d handed out free cups of hot chocolate to everyone who came to help clear the snow plus the first visitors of the day, which had gone down a treat, and now I was heading back inside the van to serve visitors.
Willow had been worried there would be cancellations but she’d posted on social media that the farm was open and was particularly magical, and luckily, lots of people decided they wanted the extra-special festive vibes of snow and were still coming along.
Willow walked over as I started putting out the gingerbread muffins I’d made early this morning onto the side of the hatch for people to see. The van quickly smelled of gingerbread.
‘I just heard from Karl,’ Willow said, leaning in. ‘Oh, you have fairy lights,’ she said as I switched them on. I’d draped them across the side of the van over the sign that read Birchbrook Café. She raised an eyebrow. ‘What’s come over you this Christmas?’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked, switching on the coffee machine.
‘You’re just part of things in a way I haven’t seen you be before. It’s nice, Paul,’ she said with sincerity.
I paused to look at her.
‘I kind of always thought you seemed down on being in Birchbrook, like you felt stuck here or something, but that feels like it’s changed.’
‘Maybe I thought about leaving before but I’ve realised this is where I belong,’ I replied, deciding to be honest with her.
She had become a good friend through the years even though I hadn’t realised it until this moment.
I respected the hell out of how she’d turned the farm’s fortunes around the past couple of years.
I wanted to make a success of the café in the same way.
‘Good,’ she said with a satisfied nod. ‘Anyway, I distracted myself… Karl from the newspaper said Holly has been in touch so I thought you’d want to know.’
I immediately snapped to attention even though I tried to hide it.
‘Holly recorded her old boss admitting everything – that he made a pass at her and was so pissed she turned him down, he lied about her embezzling money to ruin her company. Not only that, he’s been taking money himself!
She told his assistant and the Board of Directors and sent it to Karl.
He’s spoken to someone at The Star Chronicle about doing an article about it as it’s not really a local newspaper thing.
Karl is going to co-write it, think it might be a big break for him although hopefully, he’ll still write for our paper.
How good is that?’ Willow said at her usual full speed.
I wrapped my head around her story and leaned against the side of the van, letting out a slow whistle.
‘That’s our Holly,’ I said. I was proud of her even if I wasn’t sure that it was my place to be.
But I pictured her walking into that dick’s office and setting him up perfectly, making him pay for everything he’d done to women, including her.
It was impressive as hell, and she might well be the strongest woman I’d ever known.
Willow nodded vehemently. ‘I can’t believe she had the guts to do that; I don’t think I could have done anything like it.
God, I miss her around here. She’s always so calm and collected, and just gets things done.
I hope she comes back soon. I bet you do too.
’ She winked and then looked over as a taxi drove into the farm. ‘Who’s this, I wonder?’
I didn’t react to her wink but inside, my heart swelled from finding out what Holly had done.
I wanted to talk to her about it all so badly, it hurt.
I really hoped I’d get a chance to do so but even if I didn’t, some of the worries I’d been feeling about her dialled down a bit.
She was okay in the city. She hadn’t run away like she had talked about.
She hadn’t needed me to march in and save the day; she’d saved herself like I knew she could do.
I hoped I’d had some influence in that but even if I hadn’t, I was happy for her and hoped this would be the start of big things for her business.
I just wanted her to be happy even if that was in the city.
She clearly hadn’t been as happy as I had pictured her being but now hopefully, she would be.
I just ached with the longing to help her be even happier.
‘Oh my God!’ Willow’s shriek startled me out of my reverie with a jump.
I turned to follow her gaze to see two familiar figures stepping out of the taxi.
Willow took off at a run and even I ducked straight out of the van to wander over.
Dylan and his brother and dad had been looking at the Christmas trees for sale so they came too as Willow dived into the arms of her dad, Adam, with Birchbrook’s mayor, Taylor, smiling at their reunion beside him.
‘What are you both doing here?’ Willow asked after she’d hugged them.
‘The cruise was lovely but we both kept thinking about Birchbrook,’ Adam said, smiling at his daughter. ‘I wanted to see Mistletoe Lane all finished and Taylor was worried about the tree-lighting ceremony tomorrow…’ He looked at the mayor.
‘I’ve never not been here for it,’ she explained. ‘It felt wrong to be away and then we talked about Christmas…’ She looked at Adam fondly.
‘We just wanted to be home to celebrate with you all,’ Adam finished up for her.
‘I can’t believe it,’ Willow said. ‘You really gave up a cruise to come home?’ She wiped away a tear. ‘I’m so emotional at the moment!’
Adam slung an arm around her. ‘It’s okay, love. Yes, we missed you all too much to stay away.’
His words punched me in the gut. Adam and Taylor couldn’t bear to be away from Birchbrook for Christmas. I looked around and realised that’s how I felt. I had been so close to thinking I wanted a new life elsewhere but I felt like them – this was where I belonged.
‘The people volunteering to get the ceremony done tomorrow seem to be worried,’ Taylor said. ‘What with the snow and diverting traffic and panicking the lights won’t actually turn on,’ she said, looking at her phone. ‘I think I better get to my office and help them.’
‘And I heard you might need a Santa for Christmas week,’ Adam added to Willow.
‘I knew there was a reason I couldn’t find one!’ Willow cried happily.
‘You’ll make the perfect Santa,’ Dylan told him. ‘Let me introduce you to my father and brother.’
Adam eyed them. ‘I hope you’ve been supporting my daughter and son,’ he said shortly.
‘Son?’ Dylan’s dad repeated.
Adam shrugged. ‘That’s how I think of Dylan. Like my surrogate son. He’s helped us save the farm; he’s family now.’
That made Willow sob harder and Dylan’s cheeks turned a pleased pink.
‘It’s a real family you’ve made for yourself here,’ Dylan’s dad said to him, looking surprised, like he hadn’t thought that would have been possible.
I knew they had been snobby about him moving to the farm and being with Willow; I think they had wanted him to be a fancy barrister.
But anyone could see how much he loved being here and with Willow.
I tried not to feel jealous, as they both deserved each other.
Dylan’s brother, Nate looked away. He was either bored or sad, I wasn’t sure which.
I watched as Dylan went over to him. ‘You okay, Nate?’
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive but this is so far out of my remit. So far away from what we thought your future would be.’
‘I’m happy,’ Dylan said simply.
‘Yeah, I can see that. I guess it’s hard not being part of this new life you’ve made for yourself.’
‘I want you to be part of it,’ Dylan said. ‘It just seemed like you didn’t want to be. The things you said to Willow and me when you came here that first autumn, they really hurt us.’
‘I was a dick when I came here the first time,’ Nate said.
‘Maybe I was jealous of how happy you seemed. I thought you wanted us to work together and get our relationship back to how it was when we were kids, then you ditched me and my company for this… it was hard to take in. But I behaved badly, I know. I’m sorry.
’ Nate held out his hand and Dylan took it and reached out to hug his brother.
I turned away, feeling like an outsider in this family moment.
I followed Taylor as she walked away from the group too, ready to get back into the taxi.
‘I had a thought about tomorrow…’ I said as she paused to see what I wanted.
‘Usually, we keep the café open on tree-lighting nights but then the three of us have to scramble to get to the green and see the tree and mingle with the community, so how about I bring the café van?’ I said, gesturing to where it was parked by the ice rink behind us.
‘I could park it on the green so people can keep buying hot drinks and food for the whole evening, plus we get to enjoy it all.’
Taylor looked surprised. ‘I thought you were always ready to head to the pub,’ she said, although not harshly as she was a good person.
‘I’ll still want to do that afterwards,’ I said with a chuckle. ‘It’ll be freezing but I’m not being altruistic; we’ll make more money if we use the van. But we also get to be part of the community,’ I added. It made so much more sense to be on the scene of the ceremony.
‘I’m all for it,’ she said. ‘Might make everyone hang around for longer too and we need as much fundraising for the school this year as possible. Park the van whenever you like. I’ll be on the green from 3 p.m. to supervise it all; we kick off at 7 p.m. as usual.
’ She turned to get into the taxi but glanced back at Adam and Willow and everyone else, then looked at me with a warm smile.
‘It’s good you want to be part of the community, Paul.
We’ve always thought of you as being part of it all.
But maybe we weren’t sure you wanted to be.
It’s nice to hear that isn’t the case.’ She gave me a cheerful wave, jumped in the car and headed back into town.
I thought Taylor was right in her observations.
I hadn’t always wanted to be part of it all.
Maybe I wasn’t sure I deserved to be. Maybe I thought I should want something else like Holly did.
But seeing her back in Birchbrook made me realise that it’s okay to want this.
If Holly didn’t, that was okay too. I’d be glad she came back in my life and made me want to change.
Because I already felt happier than I had done for years.
Maybe I was content now. I still hoped for someone to be by my side in this life but it was a good life either way.
I headed back to the café van, trying to ignore the voice in my heart telling me that the person I wanted by my side was Holly because I didn’t want to hope for something that was impossible.
A stray snowflake danced past me like it was trying to find its way home.
And I decided that maybe hope, especially at Christmas, was something you should always let yourself feel.