7. Treasure
TREASURE
“Hi, Miss Semien. I’m Serita Gardener. I know you don’t really feel like talking, so I’ll talk. If you feel compelled to say something, please hop in. I don’t mind if you cut me off. I’m just going to tell you about myself and why I became a counselor.”
I was just staring at her, totally unimpressed and ready to get out of here.
I’d been at this mental hospital for a couple of days, letting them pump me up with meds that had me feeling lethargic .
. . when I was awake. I slept most of the day away.
However, today, I would be in counseling with this lady for an hour.
She was pretty, which made her easy to stare at, and she had a soft voice. She might talk me right to sleep.
“As I already said, I’m Serita Gardener. I’ve been a licensed counselor for nearly forty years. Whew!”
She whistled, indicating that it was a long time. I gave her a slight smile.
“I have four kids, a set of twins named Shane and Sharee, a daughter named Kyla, and a son named Cooper. The first three kids’ father was my first husband.
He was my knight in shining armor, protector, and first love.
My last son is for a piece of a man that got me hooked on cocaine.
That practically destroyed my life and had my oldest three kids disowning me for years. ”
She took a deep breath. “I’ve revealed that to nearly every client I’ve had, and it doesn’t get any easier.
Before all that, I suffered a lot of physical and mental abuse in foster care.
My parents left me in an abandoned building as a baby .
. . four months old, I think. One of my foster parents fondled and raped me for years.
When they finally caught on to what he was doing, he shot himself in the head in front of me. I was like nine or ten, I think.”
My eyes widened slightly. I didn’t expect all of that. She looked so well put together. Maybe she could help me. I sat up in bed as I stared at her. “How did you get over that?” I asked, not being able to suffocate my voice any longer.
She gave me a tight smile. “It took years. I was on medication and saw a counselor once a week for a long time. When I graduated high school, I moved in with my case worker and her husband. That was where I really started to thrive. Missus Ann loved me like she raised me. However, when the foster parent that raped me got out of prison, he started stalking me. He didn’t die from the gunshot wound.
So, I fell right back into depression. My foster parents were killed in a house fire prior to that.
My ex-husband was instrumental in making sure I had somewhere to stay and was protected.
We had just met maybe a week before the house fire. ”
I thought about Kingsley and allowed a couple of tears to escape me.
Her story moved me and made me want to disclose everything.
“I have a boyfriend who’s trying to help me through this.
Kingsley has been in my life since maybe a month or two after the incident.
He’s related to my sister-in-law . . . the Hendersons.
He is a Henderson too, not just related to them. ”
I huffed as I realized how my words were getting twisted.
My nerves were all over the place. “I finally told him I wanted to be his and tried to let my guard down. I showed him more affection than I normally did and told him I loved him. When he got aroused, I was triggered. That was what led me here.”
“Your parents and your brother Mythic told me about everything that happened to you, so you don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want to.
I can understand how that would have triggered you.
I can also imagine how after almost three years of being mentally tormented, you did what you did.
This is going to take a lot of mental work, but you can get better.
You just have to want it, baby. Do you want to get better? ”
I looked away from her and lowered my head. Closing my eyes, I said, “I do, but I feel like it’s impossible. Just when I think I’m doing better, something knocks me off my feet again.”
“We have to get it all out of your system, Treasure. From the background everyone gave me about you, you’re a beautiful soul.
Your story, just like my story, will be able to help someone else, especially when they see how you are fighting and surviving.
Every day can present new challenges, but mentally, we have to build up strength to say that those challenges will not control us. You have so much to live for, baby.”
I glanced at the flowers on the windowsill and thought about how Kingsley was probably struggling.
It had been a week since he’d carried me to the ambulance and witness what was probably a horrific sight in my bathroom.
He didn’t deserve my silence. I refused to talk to him because I was scared and embarrassed.
None of that mattered to him. The only thing that mattered to him was that I was alive.
“They tortured me for two and a half days. There wasn’t a moment of rest until they left me in a closet to die.
It seemed blood had escaped every orifice of my body, along with a few orifices they created.
I don’t even know how I survived everything they did to me.
The words they spoke to me were just as bad.
Those words infiltrated my confidence and weakened me beyond belief.
Even things I knew weren’t true, found a way to tear me down. ”
She remained quiet, so I continued. “I was a happy person. I loved people and got along with everybody. I was fun to be around. They stole that from me.”
“You allowed them to steal it. You can’t help what happened to you.
Nor can you help feeling the way you felt afterward.
Don’t allow them to have control any longer.
Don’t give them that kind of power over you.
Just like you had faith that Mythic would eventually find you, I need you to have faith that Treasure Semien can rise above this.
You are more than what those people said and did to you. You’re more than a conqueror.”
I nodded, allowing her words to penetrate my soul. “So where do I go from here?”
“We talk about it. The things you have nightmares about, how what they did affected you. We talk it all out. Sometimes that helps get it out of our system. Don’t allow fear to stop you from taking risks. You’re a crafty person and you bake. Did the first thing you tried to bake come out right?”
I shook my head and smiled slightly. That banana bread was an entire mess. It tasted more like vanilla bread with too much spice.
“Apparently, it was bad by the smirk on your lips. Did you stop baking because you feared the next thing you baked would be just as bad? I can answer that for you. Absolutely not. You kept trying and tweaking your recipe until it came out just how you wanted it. Same thing in life. Do you trust Kingsley?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes. How could I not trust a man like him? My dad said he slept in the waiting area for three days . . . not eating or showering. I pushed him away.”
A few tears escaped me. Serita grabbed my hand.
“He’s still there . . . waiting for you to say you need him.
From what your family told me, there isn’t a thing you can do to make him stop loving you.
That’s a real man, baby. Let him care for you.
I shouldn’t tell you this, but I feel like it will help you to know. He scheduled an appointment with me.”
My eyebrows lifted. “I need to see him, but I feel like I need to have a couple more sessions before I do. Maybe I’ll call him. I know hearing my voice would do him some good.”
“Just that quickly, you are concerned about him. That’s how I know you can beat this.
You have to take control of your mind. That’s easier said than done, and it will take practice, but it can be done.
We are going to focus on you, and what you’ve been through.
Then we will focus on how to get you back to yourself. Okay?”
“Okay. When do we start?”
“Whenever you want to.”
“Let’s start now.”
She chuckled and took out her notepad. “I’m ready whenever you are, sweetness.”
I gave her a tight smile, then said, “You’re easy to talk to. Thank you.”
“Thank you for trusting me.”
With that, I started from the beginning .
. . the very beginning about how I hated what Mythic was involved in.
We all hated it, so much so until we practically alienated him.
We also feared that his dealings would affect us in some way.
We were right. It affected me. The only thing was that, by that time, he was trying to do right.
As long as he was doing what they wanted him to do, we probably would have been safe.
That was what kept me from hating Mythic.
He wanted to be better, not only for Maui, but for himself.
I could imagine that he needed our presence in his life as well.
He knew that as long as he was involved with that mess, our presence would be limited.
He obviously knew that we loved him, despite all that, but he needed to feel it.
After explaining all that, I broke down that day they snatched me play by play.
I went through every minute. I remembered it like it happened yesterday.
Whenever I was triggered, I relived it. It was like it had happened all over again.
I kept going until the night Mythic, PJ, and Watchful Eyes rescued me.