Chapter 19
19
When the doorbell rang, Courtney hauled herself off the sofa to answer it, grimacing thanks to her aching back.
“Travis!” she said in surprise when she opened the door. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he said and offered a wary smile. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”
“No, I was just… ” A sharp pain sliced through her and she hissed out a breath.
“Hey, are you okay?” Travis asked, his eyes widening as he stepped closer and reached towards her.
“I’m fine, I’m just a lot more achy today than usual.” Courtney rubbed at the sore spots on her aching back and swollen abdomen, willing them to disappear. “Uh, do you want to come in? It’s a little uncomfortable for me to stand at the moment.”
“Sure. Come on, let’s get you sat down.”
Grateful when he closed the door behind himself while she returned to the living room, Courtney sank down onto the sofa with a sigh. Travis hovered beside a chair near the window before he, too, sat down, his gaze raking across her face.
“Sorry, you haven’t caught me at a good time,” Courtney said. “I’m feeling very pregnant today.”
“Can I get you a glass of water, or something else?”
She shook her head and nodded to the bottle he was holding. “You’ve come bearing gifts?”
Travis looked at the bottle and nodded. “I finished my book today and thought you might like to share a glass of fizz with me to celebrate.”
Despite the aches in her body, Courtney couldn’t keep the delight off her face at hearing his book was completed, nor the surprise at the idea he’d come here to share the moment with her. “Congratulations on finishing your book. You must be thrilled.”
“I’m ecstatic,” he grinned, but his smile quickly vanished. “Are you sure you’re okay, Courtney? You look pale.”
She waved a hand. “I’m just tired and sore and fed up.”
“Would you rather I left?”
“No, don’t go. It’s nice to see you.”
She wanted to say something about their non-kiss on the park bench last week, wanted to apologise for scaring him off with her hormonal nonsense when she’d hugged him, but fatigue stopped her from summoning the energy required to get into it.
Instead, she nodded again at the bottle in his hand. “Much as I’d love to celebrate with you, I can’t drink alcohol.”
“I know, so I brought fizzy apple juice instead. We can share some of that, can’t we?”
Touched by his consideration and feeling stupid tears threaten because of her out-of-control emotions, she managed a smile. “Sounds perfect. There are glasses in the… ouch! ”
A spear of hot pain sliced through her, cutting off the rest of her words. As she clutched at her abdomen, which felt like a steel band was tightening around it, Travis leapt to his feet.
“Oh, God! What’s wrong?” he asked, his tone urgent, alarmed.
“I, uh, I think…”Another bolt of pain had her wincing as panic mounted. “I think I might be in labour.”
Every drop of colour drained from Travis’s face, his eyes wide. He set aside the bottle of apple juice and pulled out his phone, his hands shaking. “Okay, right, I’ll phone for an ambulance.”
“No, don’t do that.” As quickly as the pain appeared, it was gone again. Courtney let out a breath and tried to assemble her thoughts, which had been scattered by the all-consuming sensations coursing through her body.
“Are you crazy?” Travis frowned. “If you’re in labour, we need an ambulance!”
“I already spoke to my midwife earlier,” Courtney explained. “I’ve been feeling pains on and off throughout the day, but until they reach a certain stage, there’s no point going to the hospital, because they’d probably only send me home again until the contractions are coming more often, and… argh! ”
Another searing stab of white hot pain lanced through her abdomen.
“And I’m definitely phoning for an ambulance,” Travis said.
Courtney couldn’t talk, couldn’t answer, couldn’t do anything while the pain rolled through her. When it passed, she looked up to see Travis with his phone clamped to his ear.
“Don’t phone for an ambulance, please,” Courtney said. “I’m not sick and it’s probably still ages until the baby comes. Can you phone a taxi instead?”
“ A taxi? ” Travis looked appalled.
“My midwife said it’s the best option unless I think there’s something wrong.” With the pain receding, she got up from the sofa. “I don’t feel there is anything wrong. It’s just contractions, and yes, they’re coming faster and I think it’s time to go to the maternity unit, but I don’t need an ambulance. Please, Travis. A taxi is fine.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he hung up and scrolled on his phone to the taxi app. After tapping the screen a few times, he nodded.
“A car will be here in five minutes,” he said. “Okay, tell me what you need me to do.”
“Can you grab that bag from behind the sofa? It’s got all my hospital stuff in it.”
He did as she asked, carrying it to the front door. “What else?”
“Could you close the window in the kitchen?”
He dashed off and returned a few seconds later. “Done. What else?”
“That’s it, thanks. You’re free to go,” she laughed.
Judging by the look on his face, he didn’t like this response. “Where’s your cousin, Rosie? Should I phone her for you, and let her know what’s happening?”
“She’s away for the weekend with her boyfriend. They left hours ago and are probably already down on Dorset.”
Travis’s frown deepened. “Okay, well what about your aunt and uncle? Or your other cousin, what’s-her-name? Give me their numbers and I’ll phone them.”
Courtney shook her head again. “Everyone’s away for the weekend. My aunt and uncle are in Norfolk and Zara’s in Edinburgh. I don’t want to disturb them.”
“ Disturb them? ” he almost screeched. “Courtney, you’re about to have a baby! They’ll want to know what’s going on!”
“And just as soon as I’m sure this is proper labour and not a false alarm, I’ll tell them. But I’m not about to ring them all up and say I’m having the baby when I might not be. My midwife says that early labour pains can come and go for hours, sometimes days, before full labour begins properly. Once I get to the maternity unit and they examine me, I’ll know whether to tell everyone else. But if the midwife checks me over and sends me home again and I’ve already alarmed my cousins and my aunt and uncle into abandoning their weekend plans and racing home for no good reason, I’ll feel terrible.”
“Okay, okay,” Travis said, holding up his hands in a calming gesture. “I understand.”
Courtney sent him a grateful look. Outside on the street, a car horn tooted and Travis’s phone pinged.
“The taxi is here,” he said. “Let’s go.”
Travis helped her up from the sofa and grabbed her hospital bag from where he’d left it beside the door. Taking her keys from her hand, he locked up and slipped them into a pocket on her bag before walking her to the car that waited on the street.
“Thank you, Travis,” she said as he helped her into the back seat. “Sorry we couldn’t have that fizzy apple juice after all.”
“Never mind that,” he said, shaking his head and getting in beside her.
She stared at him in confusion. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?” he frowned.
“Travis, you don’t have to come to the hospital with me.”
A look of total bafflement crossed his face. “ Of course I’m coming to the hospital with you. Do you really think I’d let you go there all by yourself?”
“I, uh… I’ll be fine.”
He gave her a bemused stare. “Yes, you will be fine. And you won’t be alone.”
Travis held her gaze, his words causing a rush of gratitude and bringing tears to her eyes. As she felt a sob of emotion hitch in her chest at the enormity of what was about to happen, at the life she knew she was about to welcome into the world, Travis reached over and took her hand in his.
“It’s all going to be okay,” he murmured.
Gulping back against the tide of joy and excitement and terror building inside her, she managed a nod and squeezed his hand in return.
Travis turned to the driver up front. “Let’s go.”
“Hamblehurst general hospital, is that right?” the driver asked, tapping the screen on his dashboard where the booking information was displayed.
“That’s right,” Travis confirmed. “As quick as you can, please.”
And then they were off, Foxglove Street disappearing beyond the windows as the taxi carried them away and Courtney’s mind raced with thoughts about what might lie in store during the hours to come. As blind fear mixed with breathless exhilaration as she prepared for what lay ahead, and the child she would meet at the end of it, she clutched Travis’s hand, relieved and grateful to have someone beside her to remind her be brave and help her to be strong.
By the time the taxi pulled up outside the maternity wing at Hamblehurst general hospital, Courtney knew this was no false alarm.
During the short drive from Foxglove Street, her contractions deepened, the throbbing aches turned white hot, and it was all she could do not to scream. Eyeing her with clearly mounting alarm in his rear-view mirror, the taxi driver accelerated and pushed his luck with the traffic lights, understanding that speed was paramount, an insight for which Courtney could only grunt out her profound appreciation.
Once the driver came to a screeching halt in the maternity unit entrance bay, Travis helped Courtney from the back seat and guided her inside. Clutching his arm to keep from doubling over, she hustled towards the reception desk and plonked herself in the wheelchair that a nurse rushed over with in the nick of time.
A blur of hospital corridors whirred past as Courtney was wheeled into an elevator and up to the maternity unit, where she was deposited in a room and told that a midwife would be with her soon.
The scorching pains that had racked her during the journey to the hospital eased as Courtney propped herself up on the bed. When she caught sight of Travis lingering at the door of the small room, his white complexion and saucer eyes reminded her she wasn’t the only one terrified out of her wits.
When his eyes met hers, his terror-stricken look vanished in an instant and the smile he gave her soothed her panic.
“How do you feel?” he asked, moving towards the bed and setting down her bag of essential hospital items.
“Like I’m having a baby,” she said, wincing as another wave of pain gripped her. Once it passed, she let out a sigh of relief. “I think I’d prefer it if she just stayed in there.”
Travis’s lips stretched into a grin. When a nurse arrived in the room, he waved towards the door.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” he said. “I’ll be right outside the room if you need me.”
The midwife asked Courtney questions, took notes, and conducted an examination. As she snapped off her latex gloves and tossed them into the waste bin, she gave Courtney a beaming smile.
“You’re in established labour, dear,” she said. “You did the right thing coming here. The pains you say you’ve felt throughout the day, and yesterday evening too, were most likely the beginnings of early labour, rather than just the usual aches and pains you’ve been feeling at this stage.”
“Really?” Courtney said. “Is the baby okay? Should I have come in sooner?”
“The baby is fine,” the midwife assured her.
“But my due date isn’t for another two weeks,” Courtney said. “What if something’s wrong?”
“Due dates are only rough estimates. It’s not unusual to deliver late, and it’s not unusual to deliver early, either. We’ll admit you to the labour ward so we can monitor you both. But you’ve probably still got many hours to go before the delivery, so it’s important to rest and stay calm in the meantime. Now’s a good time to look over your birth plan and remind yourself of how you planned to manage your pain and prepare for what’s coming later.”
After explaining a few more details about the staff who would look after her and the signs she ought to watch out for as labour progressed, the midwife left, ushering Travis back into the room as she departed.
“They’re admitting me to the labour ward,” Courtney told him. “Will you come with me?”
“Yes, of course I will.” He pulled out his phone. “Would you like me to phone your cousin and let her know what’s going on?”
Courtney hated the idea of ruining Rosie’s weekend away. She’d probably only arrived at the hotel with Adrian a few hours ago. Dragging her back here made her feel guilty. And thinking of her aunt and uncle leaving Norfolk early, and Zara possibly returning from Edinburgh only made that guilt ten-times worse.
Travis noticed the look on her face and read her thoughts. “I don’t know much about your family, Courtney, but I’m sure they’d be really upset to think you delayed telling them you’d gone into labour because you didn’t want to waste their weekend plans.”
She knew he was right, and as a fresh rumble of pain ripped through her, she also knew she had to contact Rosie before her labour progressed any further.
“I’ll phone Rosie,” she said, and pulled her phone from the little shoulder bag she’d stuffed it into before leaving the house.
After dialling her cousin’s number, Courtney spoke with Rosie and updated her on the day’s events. When Rosie squealed down the phone with excitement, she couldn’t help laughing. After bombarding her with questions, Rosie said she’d contact the rest of her family to share the news to save Courtney having to repeat it all again to her aunt and uncle.
“Adrian and I are hurrying back to the car as we speak,” Rosie said, breathless on the other end of the line. “We’re miles away on a beach walk, and we’ll have to go back to the hotel to grab our luggage and check out, but as soon as we’re back on the road, I’ll let you know.”
“I hate ruining your weekend, Rosie,” Courtney said.
“Ruining my weekend? Have you lost your mind? You’re about to have a baby! I don’t want to miss that! And I don’t want you to be alone, either.” This thought triggered another onslaught. “Oh God, are you alone right now? Are the nurses and midwives able to keep you company at least?”
“I’m not alone. Travis happened to drop by the house just as I realised I needed to go the hospital, and he came here with me in a taxi. He says he can stay until you get here.”
“Thank God. Tell him he’s one in a million.”
Laughing, Courtney angled the phone away and looked across the room at Travis. “Rosie says you’re one in a million.”
“Uh, thanks?” he said, giving her a baffled smile and a shrug.
“Okay, I’m running and I can’t talk while I’m running,” Rosie said, panting now. “Text me if you can with updates, or tell Travis to update me if you’re, you know, a bit too busy.”
Grateful for her cousin’s easy humour, Courtney laughed and said goodbye. Moments later, hospital staff arrived to transfer her from the consultation room to the labour suite. As she was once more wheeled along the corridor, the reality of what was coming next thundered inside her head like a massive earthquake.
“I’m going to have a baby,” she murmured once she was settled on the bed in the new room and waiting for the staff to return to talk about her pain management preferences. “I’m actually going to have a baby.”
“You are,” Travis said, hovering beside her bed. “You’re doing great.”
“I’m terrified.”
“I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
A fresh surge of pain gripped her, stealing her breath away. Once it passed and she opened her eyes, Travis moved closer and took her hand.
“Just squeeze as hard as you need to,” he said.
“You might regret saying that.”
“No. I won’t.”
His gaze was steady, his expression calm, which helped her to stay calm. She squeezed his hand, grateful she wasn’t alone, grateful for his company, grateful for him .
And then all rational thought left her mind as her labour deepened, squeezing out everything except the pain and the work and her thoughts about the tiny baby who was ready to arrive in the world.
Even in her worst nightmares, Courtney could never have imagined the pain that would rage through her body as she laboured to bring her baby into the world. It was brutal and mind-crushing, searing through every nerve, exploding every sensation and shredding every ounce of sanity she possessed.
The gas and air helped, the pain relief injection helped a little more, but she wondered how much more of it all she could take as the pain increased and she risked losing control.
And then the midwife announced that it was time for her to push.
“It might not be much longer until you meet your little one,” the midwife said, giving her an encouraging smile. “For a first baby, things are progressing quickly.”
It didn’t feel like they were progressing quickly to Courtney. Every second, every minute, lasted a lifetime. But before she could think much about that, she felt the overwhelming urge to push.
She heard animal sounds all around her, and realised they were coming from her. Quite how she didn’t break Travis’s hand as she gripped his fingers was a mystery, but all she saw when she looked at him was calm encouragement, his steady eyes holding hers and keeping her going.
A little over five hours after arriving at the hospital, and in a storm of white hot pain and exhausted relief, Courtney gave birth to her baby girl. When the infant’s cries pierced the air and she saw the face of her tiny child for the first time, a rush of love and joy crashed through her like a tidal wave.
“I can’t believe she’s here!” Courtney murmured as the midwife placed the baby on her chest. “She’s finally here!”
Tears ran in rivers down her cheeks as she kissed her baby and cradled her slippery little body in her arms. The love that filled her heart was miraculous, all pain forgotten.
“You did brilliantly,” the midwife said. “You almost set a new ward record for the quickest delivery for a new mother.”
“It didn’t feel quick,” Courtney half-laughed, half-cried. “But it was worth every second.”
“Congratulations,” Travis said, his smile huge, his gaze tender.
“Thank you,” she said. “And thanks for being here with me. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Of course you could have,” he said simply. “She’s a beautiful baby, Courtney.”
“I can’t believe she’s really here. It feels like a dream.”
For the rest of her life, Courtney knew she would cherish the perfect moment when she held her child in her arms for the first time. No love could be stronger than what she felt for her new baby, no awe greater than what coursed through her as she gazed into her child’s eyes.
After months of grief and loss and upheaval, all mixed with fear about what lay ahead in her future, she felt at peace for the first time in a long time. And she felt something else, too—hope.
“I’m going to call her Hope,” she said, still gazing into her baby’s eyes.
“Hope,” Travis smiled. “It’s perfect.”
Courtney nodded. “Perfect, just like her.”
While the midwives tended to cleaning up the new baby and recording her measurements, and looking after Courtney, too, Travis went off in search of a vending machine. After the trauma and exhaustion of labour, Courtney said she wanted an ice cold, sugary drink to enjoy after the tea and toast the staff promised to bring, and Travis made it his mission to see that she got one.
He also needed space to process what he’d just saw, what he’d just been a part of. Watching Courtney endure her labour with bravery and grit left him in awe. Watching her bring new life into the world and hold her baby daughter for the first time filled his heart to bursting.
Until now, he’d thought what he felt for Courtney was nothing more than a deeply intense crush. After being at her side throughout her labour and watching her cradle her child in her arms, he knew this was no crush.
He was in love.
His mind told him it was impossible—he couldn’t be in love with someone he’d only met a few weeks ago and had spent time with on only a handful of occasions.
But his heart told him it was true, told him it had always been true, ever since the first moment he set eyes on her when he’d opened the front door of the house on Foxglove Street and saw Courtney standing there, sunlight slanting through her long hair and a smile lighting up her eyes.
She’d taken his heart in that moment and he’d been playing catch-up ever since.
And now he’d just watched her give birth to her daughter. It was a sacred moment and one he’d never forget.
It occurred to him that if he hadn’t dropped by to visit her, driven by the need to share his celebratory moment after finishing his latest book, he would never have been there when she realised she was in labour and needed to go to the hospital. The idea that she might have made that trip alone because her family were away filled him with agony.
After finding a vending machine and purchasing a selection of cold drinks, Travis returned to Courtney’s room on the labour ward. When he pushed open the door, he saw her propped up in bed with her infant in her arms, the two of them gazing into one another’s eyes.
It felt like he was witnessing a holy moment filled with pure, glorious love.
He paused at the door, drinking it in, struck by the beauty of this new mother and her tiny child.
Courtney looked up and smiled. “Come on in. Hope’s had a nice wash and is wrapped up and cosy.”
Setting the bottled drinks on her side table, he angled closer to the bed. The baby was blinking up at her mother, her face a sweet pink rose of infant loveliness.
“She’s beautiful, Courtney,” Travis said. “You must be so happy.”
“I can’t even describe it.” She glanced up at him and smiled again. “Would you like to hold her?”
“Uh, well… are you sure?”
Courtney murmured a soft laugh. “Of course, I’m sure. Just be sure to support her head in your arms.”
Courtney twisted slightly on the bed and Travis leaned closer to take the baby from her. The newborn fussed as he settled her in his arms, clueless about such things and hoping he wouldn’t hurt her or make her cry.
“Hello, Hope,” he said, his voice a whisper as he looked at the baby in wonder. “Welcome to the world.”
Hope made a sweet gurgling sound and blinked at him. Her eyes were the deep blue of a summer sky, her lashes long and dark, and a swirl of soft honey-coloured hair sprouted from her tiny little head.
She was the most beautiful thing Travis had ever seen in his life.
Love crashed into his heart like a wild storm. He stared at the infant in his arms, mesmerised and filled with wonder. In that instant he knew he loved this child, loved this child’s mother, and was helpless to do anything but surrender his heart to them both.
He looked up from Hope’s sweet face and met Courtney’s gaze. Her face shone with love, the light in her eyes stealing his breath.
Travis opened his mouth, felt the words rushing from his heart to his lips.
“Courtney, I…”
I love you.
He almost said it. Almost. At the last moment, he caught the words before they escaped, gulped them back down as his brain screamed that this was the worst possible moment to say such a thing.
This moment wasn’t about him. It was about Courtney and her new baby, Hope. He couldn’t— wouldn’t —taint this beautiful time by spewing stupid and unwanted declarations of love.
“Courtney, I think she’s absolutely gorgeous,” he said instead. “Congratulations.”
Courtney smiled, her expression filled with joy as her gaze flicked back to her baby. “I’m so happy. And you’re right, she’s gorgeous. I can’t take my eyes off her.”
The baby started to fuss and Travis handed her back to her mother. A moment later, the doors of the room swung open and a nurse popped her head inside.
“Courtney, you have a visitor,” the nurse said and waved a grinning Rosie into the room. “Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course!” Courtney said. “Rosie, you’re here!”
“I’m here!” Rosie said, rushing to the bed, her eyes wide and already filling with tears as she looked at the new baby. “I’m sorry it took so long. There was a traffic accident and the road was closed for hours and… and, oh my God, look at your gorgeous little baby! She’s sooo beautiful, Courtney!”
“I’ve called her Hope.”
“Hope! It’s perfect! Hello, Hope. Come and meet your Auntie Rosie.”
The door opened again and although Travis hadn’t met Courtney’s relatives in the Austin family, he reckoned this must be her aunt and uncle arriving, both giving him a friendly hello as they piled into the room, their attention immediately on their niece and the new baby.
Travis realised it was time to go. Courtney needed her family around her now, not some clueless idiot who’d almost ruined her once-in-a-lifetime moment as a new mother by blurting out what he felt about her after getting caught up in the emotional whirlwind.
“Courtney,” he said, as the Austin family huddled around the bed, already admiring the new baby. “I’ll get out of here and give you guys some space.”
Courtney gave him a look of regret. “You don’t have to go.”
“The room is small and these folks are desperate to meet the baby. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Thanks again for everything, Travis. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
They shared a long look and a smile and then Travis turned for the door. Before leaving the room, he glanced back one more time to see Courtney handing her baby to Rosie for a cuddle as she began recounting the day’s events for her delighted family.
He turned and left, ignoring the hard tug in his heart as he strode towards the hospital exit and telling himself, It’s better this way.
Even although he didn’t believe it—not for one second.