Chapter 20
20
Early morning light slanted into Courtney’s hospital room, painting the walls with a wash of soft yellow from the rising sun. Lying on her side, she stared in awestruck wonder at the newborn baby sleeping in the cot beside her.
Hope. Her beautiful daughter. Her entire world.
It seemed impossible that her heart could be filled with so much love and not burst. Watching her tiny child’s sweet face as she slept, her mouth twitching and fingers opening and closing, Courtney understood what it meant to be spellbound.
There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her daughter. From this moment on, everything she did, every breath she took, was about caring for Hope and giving her the best life she possibly could.
She was still terrified at the idea of being a single mother. How on earth would she cope? What if she messed it all up? What if she let her daughter down?
The questions swirled, just as they’d swirled ever since she found out she was pregnant, before they’d been whipped into a fearsome storm following her mother’s death, and Courtney had learned what it really meant to be truly alone in the world.
But she wasn’t truly alone anymore, she reminded herself. She had found family who loved her and who had welcomed her amongst them. Last night, when Rosie arrived at the hospital with her parents, all of them having raced home to be with her and welcome her baby into the world, Courtney hadn’t been able to stop the tears from falling. When her cousin and her aunt and uncle had looked at Hope for the first time, Courtney had seen the same love and awe in their expressions that she might have expected to see on her own mother’s face.
Courtney thought of her mother now, thought of how much she would have adored her new granddaughter. And in the quiet stillness of the early morning, Courtney couldn’t escape the sensation that her mother was here , that her spirit was right beside her, gazing at her sleeping granddaughter and showering them both with love.
I told you everything would be okay—and so it is.
She heard her mother’s voice, heard it as if her spirit was in the room with her, and she clung to her whispered words.
Whether the voice she heard sprang from the exhaustion and drama of giving birth, or simply from the deep longing inside her heart for her mother who was gone forever, didn’t really matter. Courtney allowed the feeling of love to sweep over her and cherished the thought of her mother lingering beside her and her new child, and cherishing, too, the certainty that her spirit would be with her always.
Shifting on the bed, and wincing at the soreness in her body, Courtney carefully rose and lifted her sleeping daughter into her arms. After getting some much needed sleep overnight, she was desperate to hold her baby close. Hope scrunched up her tiny face as Courtney gently eased back into bed, not wanting to wake her as she propped herself up against the pillows. Once she was settled, she gazed into her newborn’s face, awestruck all over again.
“Hello, my beautiful Hope,” she murmured, brushing her lips against the baby’s forehead and inhaling the addictive smell of her sweet skin. “Are you ready for your first full day in the world?”
Hope scrunched her eyes up some more and smacked her lips together, the sound making Courtney’s heart swell with love.
“Here’s what’s on the agenda today,” she continued, her voice a soothing whisper. “We’ll have breakfast soon, and then I’ll ask the nurses to look after you for a minute while I take a shower, because, let me tell you, I need it. I’m sore all over after pushing you out into the world, little one. That was no fun, I’m sorry to say. But it was worth every second to get to meet you at last.”
Hope made a tiny fist and Courtney dipped her head to kiss the impossibly small fingers. She couldn’t get enough of her gorgeous baby.
“And then later today, your Aunt Rosie will come back to visit you, and your Aunt Lorraine and Uncle Colin, too. And your Aunt Zara will be home tomorrow. She sent a message last night to say she’s sorry she missed you getting here and she can’t wait to meet you. I think you’re going to like the Austin family, Hope. They’re all amazing and if it hadn’t been for them, well, things would look a lot worse for you and me right now.”
Courtney frowned, not wanting to dwell on the dark alternate reality she might be facing had she not found out about her late father’s long-lost family. What mattered was that she had found them and that they’d embraced her as one of their own. She cherished their kindness and generosity more than they could ever know.
Replacing her frown with a smile as she gazed at her baby’s face, Courtney kept talking.
“There’s a chance we might get discharged from hospital today and get to go home,” she told Hope. “It will all depend on what the midwife and the obstetrician say when they do their rounds later.”
Courtney’s delivery had been more rapid than for most first-time mothers, even if it hadn’t felt like it at the time, and the midwife had said they might want to keep her in for an extra day to monitor her recovery before allowing her to go home.
“So, that’s what’s happening today, little one,” Courtney said. “Between nurse check-ups, and getting the hang of this breastfeeding business, and visitors coming to admire you, I think it’s set to be a busy time.”
Hope let out a soft sigh, a tiny bubble forming on her lips. Courtney snuggled her infant for a few more moments before returning her to the cot. The nurses had already advised her to sleep whenever her baby was sleeping, and as Hope showed no signs of waking up, she figured she’d be mad not to do as they’d told her.
After gingerly climbing back into bed once more and trying not to think about how sore she was, Courtney lay down. Before she closed her eyes, she grabbed her phone from the bedside table, wanting to send Travis a quick thank-you message for all he’d done yesterday. She remembered how he’d left once her family arrived, not wanting to get in the way, and in the emotional and physical upheaval, she couldn’t remember if she’d thanked him properly for being there during her hour of need.
She tapped out a quick message and sent it, only remembering once she pressed send that it was barely six o’clock on Sunday morning and hoping she didn’t accidentally wake him up. Her internal clock was still all over the place.
Although her phone was on silent, the screen flashed with a reply from Travis straight away.
I hope you had a good night’s sleep, and Hope too. Congratulations again, Courtney—she’s so beautiful. And I’m sure you won’t be thinking about this at all right now, but my assistant Ruth will be back at work for me from Monday, so you don’t need to worry about any of the social media stuff anymore—and you’ve got more important things to think about now, anyway! Thanks again for your help over the past few weeks, Courtney. I appreciated it.
She read his message, smiling, then tapped out another response.
Thanks for the work and thanks for connecting me with Jacquie Edmund. I didn’t get a chance to tell you (I was too busy pushing a tiny human into the world!), but we’ve agreed on a trial period and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
He replied with a thumbs-up emoji and a few more words. That’s brilliant news. You’re a natural at the marketing work. She’s lucky to have you.
Courtney knew she should’ve left their exchange at that. What more was there to say? But she couldn’t help replying again.
I’m not sure when I’ll be discharged from the hospital, but you’re welcome to come by Rosie’s house to visit Hope once we get home. I owe you at least a cup of tea for whisking me off to the hospital when I needed help, and we never got to drink your fizzy apple juice to celebrate you finishing your new book.
She wavered before pressing send, but pressed it anyway. A few seconds later, the phone flashed again with a reply.
Would’ve loved to see you and Hope once you get home, but I’m leaving Hamblehurst today and heading back to my flat in London. The owners of the house where I’ve been staying are returning tomorrow, and I’m catching the train in a few hours once I’ve packed up. But I hope we can keep in touch—it’s been great meeting you, Courtney. Send me photos of Hope so I can see her progress! Take care, Travis x
Courtney read the message a second time as an empty, deflated feeling settled around her. She’d always known Travis was only staying temporarily in Hamblehurst and that he’d leave once his book was finished and the owners of the Foxglove Street house returned from their travels. But realising he was leaving today came as a shock.
She was sorry she wouldn’t get to see him before he left, sorry she wouldn’t get the chance to thank him properly for being there yesterday when she’d needed someone by her side.
But she wondered if maybe this was for the best. Until she’d gone into labour, she’d spent most of her time since their last get-together cringing about her mistake in almost kissing Travis during their picnic in the park. Although that embarrassing moment seemed like a lifetime ago, and her concerns about it had long since been replaced now that her new baby was here, she couldn’t help but think it would’ve been good to clear the air with Travis about the awkward incident.
They’d become good friends over these past weeks, after all. That she’d stupidly imagined there might have been more than just a casual friendship between them was no good reason for them to part with things left unsaid.
But there was nothing that could be done about it now. Apologising in person and smoothing things over wasn’t an option if Travis was soon leaving for London.
He was returning to his life, and she was beginning hers as a new mother. Their paths were always destined to diverge.
Perhaps they’d keep in touch, as Travis suggested. A few text messages now and then, a few updates about their lives. But after knowing one another for just a few short weeks, Courtney couldn’t help but think that was… unlikely.
And so she tapped out a simple response to serve as the farewell she couldn’t deliver face-to-face.
Safe journey home, Travis. And thanks again for everything! Take care.
She pressed send, then set the phone aside. Her eyelids were closing as fatigue settled on her bruised and battered body. With one last glance at the cot to check Hope was okay, she smiled at her beautiful sleeping baby before allowing sleep to claim her, too.