11. EIGHT
EIGHT
C aitlin paced the living room as Isabelle napped and Jordan worked. She should be setting up more designs and double-checking keywords, but she couldn’t get her mind to concentrate. Biting her lip, which now felt pretty raw, she glanced down at the phone she held in her hand. Her finger hovered over the call icon next to Jordan’s name, then she dropped her hand again.
Miller had left to drive into town and talk with Derrick, leaving Douglas and Peters on duty.
Her stomach sickened with the recent development and the realization that she may never go home again.
Blinking past tears, her gaze roamed the house as a new thought grasped her. That place in the city wasn’t her home. This place, Hope Lake, was her home. Though she may have ruined her chance of being able to stay here…well, the way she had dreamed, at least.
The phone felt heavy in her hand as she tried to drill up the courage to call Jordan. Isabelle had already been asleep for an hour…she didn’t have much time left. Before she could talk herself out of it, she hit the call icon.
“Hey, is our little gal awake yet?” Jordan answered her call, his focus so intent that it warmed her heart and split it in half at the same time.
“Not yet,” she said, moving the phone away afterward to blow out a shaky breath.
“Well, I’m on my way with a surprise that I know she’ll love.” Jordan’s truck door closed, the echo silencing the background noise that had been competing with his voice.
“Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll appreciate that. Well, I, uh, called because…”
“Hey, can it wait?” Jordan asked as the sound of tires on asphalt and wind came through the phone. “I’ve got a couple things to line up on my drive home.”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said, her heart thumping in her throat.
“I mean, unless…everything’s okay there, right?”
“Yeah, everything is okay here. Miller went to town, but Douglas and Peters are still here.”
“Okay, well, if you can wait to tell me, I should be there in about twenty.”
“Mommy?” Isabelle called out as she stumbled into the living room, rubbing her eyes.
“Hi, sweetie,” Caitlin said, shifting the phone so she could bring Isabelle into her arms.
“Oh, did our girl wake up?”
“She sure did.” Caitlin kissed her head.
“That Daddy?”
“Yes, it is.”
Isabelle reached for the phone. “Daddy, when you come home?”
“I’ll be there in a jiffy, sugar cakes, and I got something coming with me you’ll love!” His voice echoed through the phone even though she didn’t have it to her ear.
“What is it?” Isabelle asked with a yawn.
“A surprise. See you soon.”
“Bye-bye, Daddy,” she said, handing the phone back to Caitlin, but when Caitlin put the phone back to her ear, the line had gone dead.
“I hungry, Mommy,” Isabelle said, snuggling into her.
“Let’s go find something yummy to eat,” Caitlin squeezed her closer as she walked into the kitchen.
When the truck’s tires grated on the asphalt, Caitlin finalized her plan of occupying Isabelle so she could tell Jordan the news, but another set of wheels had her peeking out the window instead. A second truck with a trailer pulled up next to Jordan’s truck.
From the second truck out came a dog, Krista, and the woman Caitlin had first seen Jordan with in town; then around the trailer came a much stockier and less serious Tyler. Her heart pulsed so hard it felt like it made the world go dark with every beat.
“What you see, Mommy?” Isabelle pushed by her to look out the window. “Oh, more friends? Daddy friends? We go see them.” She grabbed Caitlin’s hand and pulled her toward the front door where Buster ran barking in excitement as Jordan opened it.
“Oh, sugar cakes!” Jordan called.
“Daddy!” Isabelle let go of Caitlin’s hands and ran for Jordan, who swooped her up into his arms.
“You didn’t miss me, did you?” Jordan gave her kisses and snuggled her.
“Yes.” Isabelle giggled and squealed with peels of laughter.
“Want to meet some of my friends?” Jordan asked, his gaze only glancing at Caitlin, then swinging back to her. “You okay?”
“Krista…” Caitlin choked out. She hadn’t seen the girl for years, except for that glimpse when she first came to town, and all the old guilt filled her heart enough to choke her.
Jordan shifted Isabelle and came to Caitlin. “She’s okay. Come on. You’ll see how happy she is now…besides, it’s not like she knows that we…” Jordan cleared his throat. “That I…” He shrugged.
Caitlin nodded.
“She’s excited to see you, so is Tyler.” He urged her towards the door with the hand that wasn’t holding their daughter.
“He’s not mad at me?” Caitlin bit her tender lip.
Jordan’s gaze fell on her mouth as she did, his brows pulling together. “You really needed to tell me something.”
“What?” Caitlin blinked. She had pushed the entire ordeal of what had sent Miller to town from her mind the moment she had seen Krista.
Jordan reached up gently to touch her lip, then glanced back out the door where Tyler and his family watched the dogs playing together. “Need to tell me now?”
“It’s nothing…imminent…at least I don’t think,” she said, her eyes staying focused on Krista, who had grown so much. She looked almost full grown.
“Imminent…nice word. If you’re sure?” Jordan asked, but he took her arm, pulling her out with him. “Look who I have!”
Tyler looked up from the dogs to meet Caitlin’s eyes. “Good to see you, Caity.”
Caitlin’s shoulders relaxed at the welcoming smile on her old friend’s face. Buster and the other dog ran past Tyler, almost knocking him over. “Looks like Buster has a friend.”
“That’s Grace.” Tyler laughed at their antics, his face brightening into a smile as he met her eyes again. Then he turned toward Isabelle. “Well, if she isn’t the spitting image of the both of you.”
“She’s the perfect combination, isn’t she?” Jordan bumped Isabelle higher in his arms, his smile filled with pride.
Krista looked up through long bangs. “Caitlin?”
Caitlin’s eyes burned and her lip trembled; her greeting choked in her tight throat so she drew the girl into her arms. Krista’s arms were limp at first, then she squeezed her right back with all her might, just like she used to when she was Isabelle’s age.
“You remember me?” Krista finally said as Caitlin let her go.
Caitlin took the girl’s face in her hands. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.” She searched her green eyes. “You look so much like your mom.”
Krista’s lips quirked into a smile. “That’s what Uncle Tyler says, too. I don’t think I’m near as beautiful as she was.”
The woman behind Krista shifted her weight, smiling, blinking back her own tears, and said, “Oh, you are just as beautiful as all her photos.” Then she turned to Caitlin. “Hi, I’m Megan.”
Caitlin let go of Krista to take the woman’s hand in both of hers. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Thank you.” She glanced at Krista then Tyler.
“Oh…I don’t think I did anything.” Megan laughed. “Tyler’s the one that rescued us both. Didn’t he, sweetie?”
“Yep, he sure did, but Caitlin’s right. You saved him first.”
“You both did,” Tyler said, taking them into his arms for a moment before releasing them to give Caitlin a hug. The embrace surprised her, making her throat tighten once again. “It’s good to see you.” He put his lips near her ear. “I don’t know how much longer he would have lasted without you coming back.”
Caitlin watched him, stunned, as he pulled back and returned his arms to his wife and niece, giving her a slight wink as he did. “So, I hear you’ve got a horse crazy little girl.”
“I horse crazy,” Isabelle said.
“Isn’t every girl horse crazy?” Krista asked, talking directly to Isabelle. “Wanna meet Sugar? She’s one of my favorite horses we own.” She glanced back at Caitlin. “Sugar is super gentle.”
Isabelle reached for Krista. “I wanna meet horsie!”
Krista took her from Jordan’s arms as if having a three-year-old in her care was completely normal, taking her around the trailer to meet the horse.
“She’s so good with kids,” Caitlin said.
“She’s been helping Derrick and Chasity out, earning a little spending money…now that she’s sixteen, she needs it for gas,” Tyler said, the pride in his voice sending another wave of emotions through her.
“I’m so glad you got her,” Caitlin said.
“I wish it could have been sooner.” Tyler sighed. “You know, when I got injured…and survived, I didn’t know why; but now I have no doubt.”
Megan wrapped her arms around him. “All things happen for a reason, my love.”
Caitlin swallowed, glanced at Jordan from the corner of her eye, and wondered if that’s how she might look back at her situation one of these days.
Jordan cleared his throat. “Geez, man. You’ve gone all soft since you got married.”
“Well,” Tyler smiled down into his wife’s eyes, his hand discreetly resting on her still flat stomach. “Things change when hope blooms.”
Jordan shook his head, glancing back at Caitlin. “See what I’ve been dealing with? All of our friends have gone soft, getting married and pregnant.”
“Things have changed since we used to careen down the slopes and crash our mountain bikes…back when we thought we were invincible.” Tyler said. “But you two were the first to marry off, if you don’t remember.”
“Yeah, but it didn’t make me all soft.” Jordan snorted.
“Daddy! Look at the pretty horsie!”
Jordan’s smile changed his entire face as he turned back to Isabelle. “I see, sugar cakes. This a good surprise?”
“The bestest!”
Jordan turned back to them, rocking back on his heels, his cheesy grin making Caitlin smile, and she said, “Marriage might not have done it, but he sure has found his soft spot now.”
“What does that mean?” Jordan said, opening his hands wide, but Caitlin pushed past him with a chuckle to watch as Isabelle held onto the rope of the white mare.
“Wanna ride him?” Krista asked, then glanced at Caitlin. “I could hold her up there.”
“I…I, uh, well,” Caitlin stumbled as fear hollowed out her stomach.
“Oh, I get it. I mean, it’s hard to trust someone you haven’t seen for so long,” Krista said with a shrug.
“It’s not you, Krista,” Caitlin said, her heart aching.
“It’s me,” Jordan said. “I am quite protective of my daughter.”
“You don’t trust me?” Krista asked, incredulous.
“I don’t trust anyone with her…but no, it’s really just the horse.”
“Sugar is so gentle. She’s the best horse to train kids on, but why don’t you ride and hold Isabelle?” Krista handed the reins to him.
“You okay with that?” Jordan asked Caitlin.
“Yes! I ride horsie! Please, Mommy! Please!” Isabelle grasped her hands together and hopped up and down on her toes.
“You can’t say no to that.” Jordan waggled his eyebrows at her, smiling like a child, then mounted the horse, who turned her massive head back to look at him.
“You should have warned Sugar, Uncle Jordan.” Krista rolled her eyes and stroked the mare's neck as she slipped the reins over the horse’s head and handed them to him.
“You’re right. I will do better next time.” He looked down at Caitlin. “So?”
Caitlin squatted down to Isabelle. “You need to be calm on the horse and listen to Daddy, okay?”
“Okay,” she squealed, then blew out a breath and clasped her hands tight. “Okay, Mommy.”
Caitlin picked her up, her arms trembling as she handed over her life to Jordan. He set their daughter in front of him, one arm tightly holding her against him. He lowered his voice, talking gently to her as he rode the horse around the driveway.
“I would have never thought that such a daredevil of a woman would be so protective of her daughter,” Tyler joked as he leaned against the trailer. “Though that daredevil husband of yours is looking a little washed out as well.”
Caitlin looked closer at Jordan, seeing that he did look drained of color, and how tightly he held their daughter and how slow he kept the horse. Then she realized the words Tyler had used…husband. Did he not know what had happened between them?
She turned back to him as Megan and Krista followed Jordan with their phones, taking pictures.
“I know,” Tyler said simply.
“What? How?” Caitlin sputtered.
“Your look said it all.” Tyler pushed off the trailer to stand closer to her. “He was a fool to let you go the first time. I don’t think he’ll make that same mistake again…especially because the stakes are higher this time around.”
“You…you’re not mad at me? Derrick could hardly look at me and Jordan’s parents…”
Tyler shook his head. “It’s none of my business, unless a friend needs to unload…and then it’s none of my business to meddle by giving advice.” He turned to watch his wife. “If it’s advice you need, though, my wife is quite the talented therapist.”
“So I’ve heard.”
He stepped slightly closer. “She also knows how terrifying it is being stalked. You’ll find her a good friend.” He slipped her a card with Megan’s name on it. “She asked me to give this to you.”
“Thank you,” she said automatically, sliding the card into her back pocket, wondering if she would ever get desperate enough to need therapy.
“Not for therapy,” Tyler said with a wink. “As a friend.”
Caitlin blew out a breath. “I could really use a friend right now…”
“What am I, chopped liver?” he joked, giving her a squeeze and pulling her toward where her daughter looked as if she were in heaven, riding a horse with her daddy.
Jordan sighed happily as he hit the sofa, relaxing for the first time since he woke that morning. The entire afternoon had gone perfectly. Isabelle’s smile and gleeful shrieking still filled his heart as full as it could be, even though Caitlin now put her down for bed.
Even Caitlin seemed pleased with how well Isabelle’s first time on horseback had gone. He hadn’t been sure if she would allow Isabelle the chance. He understood.
Having his daughter up on top of that horse…he shook his head as he remembered the moment of fear that gripped him the moment Caitlin handed Isabelle to him. He gripped his daughter so tightly he was afraid he would crush her.
Isabelle hadn’t noticed.
She carried her excitement through the rest of the afternoon and into dinner that he invited Tyler and his family to stay for. They left as Caitlin took an ear-rubbing Isabelle to the bath, leaving Buster zonked out in front of the woodstove.
Now with dinner dishes cleaned up and Caitlin singing softly in the other room, he finally had the chance to sit and soak in the wonder of the day. Why had he feared being a father so much? This life was amazing.
The thought had him sitting back up and leaning on his elbows. Would he have thought that if there hadn’t been a four-year gap of not having Caitlin?
He didn’t like thinking of how different he felt his reactions would have been. It was easier to go from having no one in his life to having Caitlin and Isabelle here now.
If he had to give up his adventurous life because of a baby…he shook his head. His gut churned with the thought, and he pushed it away, unable to look the truth fully in the face.
“You okay?” Caitlin asked, her voice depleted of energy yet sounding satisfied.
“Of course,” he said, scooting over so she could sit next to him.
She had been halfway falling into the recliner, but after a moment's hesitation, landed on the other side of their old couch instead. “What you did for Isabelle today was incredible.”
“I thought it would make her happy,” he said, easing back into memories of the day rather than the dark places his mind had traveled right before she came in. “Did she fall asleep easily?”
“You kidding? The girl excitedly talked herself right to sleep. She was exhausted.”
“You look pretty exhausted yourself.” Then he leaned toward her. “I’m sorry. In all the excitement, I forgot. What was it you needed to tell me?”
Her eyes shifted from contentment to realization to fear, and he wanted to take back his words, to return to being happy parents. “I, well, Miller…”
A knock sounded on the front door before it opened as Miller announced himself and entered. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“Not at all,” Caitlin came to a stand, her hands clasped before her, wringing. “What did Derrick say?”
“Derrick?” Jordan came to her side.
Miller narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t told him?”
“I was just about to…today, well…” Caitlin glanced at Jordan before looking back at Miller.
“Yeah, Douglas told me you had company…and a horse.”
Jordan shrugged. “If they can’t go out, why not bring the fun to them?”
Miller nodded. “It’s safer that way…as long as your people don’t talk.”
“You kidding?” Jordan guffawed. “The entire town talks.”
“I know.” Miller growled.
“So…Derrick?” Caitlin asked again.
“He has seen nothing suspicious but is putting the word out across the county. We at least have headshots of some of the perps now.”
“Headshots…okay, it’s time to fill me in.” Jordan folded his arms.
“I…I tried,” Caitlin said, her lip quivering.
“I didn’t say you hadn’t, but I need to know now.”
Caitlin nodded to Miller.
“Last night, some perps broke into Caitlin’s house.”
“Again? I thought that had already happened?” Jordan swallowed, knowing he wouldn’t like what was coming next but not sure what to expect either.
Miller cleared his throat. “At the last event, they only rifled through a few items. This time…” he glanced at Caitlin again before returning his gaze to Jordan, “they left the place in shambles. Everything they didn’t take, they destroyed, and they spray painted threats over the walls.”
“Threats?” Jordan’s arms dropped, his hands feeling numb. “What kind of threats?”
“The death kind.” Miller kept his gaze steady, face impassive. “At this point, we are unsure if they can follow the trail here…or not, but they are getting desperate. The trial is two weeks away.”
Jordan lowered to the couch, running a hand through his hair. “What has your dad gotten you into…?”
“It’s not his fault,” Caitlin said, but there wasn’t much conviction or fight in her voice.
“Blaming doesn’t help the situation. We continue as planned. Tighten the vigilance as needed.” Miller stood stock still, feet firmly planted.
“You said something about headshots?” Jordan looked up. “I want to see them.”
Miller glanced at Caitlin, and she nodded. “Best to know.”
Miller disappeared outside, coming back in with a picture album and an envelope. “One of our guards delivered this…looks like Douglas missed this one before.” He handed Caitlin the album and Jordan the envelope. “Here are the headshots.”
Jordan opened the envelope and pulled out the two black and white fuzzy pictures. The men were what you would expect from two mobster burglars…all in black, beanies pulled up on their heads, dark, angry faces with stupid expressions.
“I’m guessing you don’t recognize them?” Miller asked sarcastically.
“Nah, it’s been a while since I’ve seen my mobster cousins,” Jordan smirked.
Caitlin looked over his shoulder and shivered before pulling back. “I…just can’t think about what would have happened if Isabelle and I had been there.”
“But you weren’t,” Jordan said. “And there is no reason for you to go back.”
Caitlin’s eyes met his, searching as if she tried to assess his intentions.
Miller cleared his throat and reached for the pictures. Jordan gave them one more scrupulous look, then handed them back to the bodyguard.
“If there are any new developments, I’ll let you know.” Miller turned and went out, leaving Jordan and Caitlin frozen in place.
Caitlin broke first, pacing the room. “How can this happen? I can’t keep staying here like this. It’s driving me nuts and making me crazy. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable out in public again!”
Jordan raised an eyebrow as he watched her, wondering how long it had been since she had thrown a tantrum. The last few weeks she had been back, everything was calm or emotionless or weepy, but no real fits…not like before.
“So, you haven’t fully lost your ability to rage?” Jordan joked.
She glared at him, turning her back and facing out the window, staring into the dark. “I hate being afraid.” She blew out several breaths. “And I feel like I’ve been afraid for four years.”
Her shoulders shuddered, making Jordan rush to her side and wrap his arms around her. Some habits died hard, and he could never stand to see her cry. Her rages either angered or amused him, but her crying…they crushed his soul.
“You don’t have to be afraid. You’re not alone anymore,” he whispered the words into her hair, bending his head down to touch his cheek to the top of her head. The craving to hold her pulled at his soul, warring with the conflictions of his mind and the hardness of his heart.
“Aren’t I?” She pushed away, wiping at her eyes.
Jordan looked around the room. “Well, I guess I could be mistaken that I’m standing here next to you, but that would say I’m in the middle of a dream.” He leaned forward, narrowing the distance between them. “Am I dreaming?”
“It’d be more of a nightmare than a dream,” she huffed, hugging herself.
Jordan pushed forth the laugh that he didn’t really feel. “Oh, I don’t know. There’s been lots of good times that have come with it.” He stepped away from her before the desire to pull her back into his arms overwhelmed him and only pushed her further away. Plopping onto the couch, his eyes rested on the tattered photo album. “Hey, I remember this one.”
He picked up the album, setting it on his lap as he settled back against the cushions. His finger traced the handwritten words, “Better Together”, as memories of Caitlin writing it flooded through. They hadn’t even been married when she started this album.
Second thoughts filled his mind, thinking better of going back to that past, but his hands moved of their own accord, opening to the first page, showcasing a picture of them at their freshman homecoming dance.
Jordan laughed, tracing the picture. “We were so young.”
“And clueless.” Caitlin sputtered the words, but she came closer. “Oh my goodness, look at my hair!”
“Look at my suit!” Jordan laughed freer this time. “We were so cool.”
Caitlin’s mouth twitched as she came closer still, slowly sitting as he turned the page. “Wow. I forgot about that trail. It sure was wicked.”
Jordan remembered the mountain bike trail he had taken her on, the picture of a dirt covered Caitlin with a wide smile covering her face. She had crashed her bike, eaten dust as they called it, and proudly showed off her road-rash arms.
“Your parents were so mad at me that day. I was afraid they’d never let you go out with me again.”
Caitlin shrugged. “They didn’t have a choice, and they knew it. I would have just snuck out.”
“You were the rebellious one.” Jordan elbowed her, turning the page to pictures of them skiing.
“I was the rebellious one?” Caitlin lifted an eyebrow, but she smiled. “I guess I was a little…I knew what I wanted.” She glanced at him, her eyes widening and lips parting.
If he had been fifteen still, he would have swooped right in and kissed her…but he wasn’t. Maturity did a lot of things, and in that moment, he wondered if all of them were for the better.
He tore his eyes away, drawing in a slow, deep breath and regulating his emotions with more strength than he thought he had. Focusing on the pictures again, he turned the page. “I remember that day.” He pointed to the picture of them on a sled. “Remember? That’s when Derrick got mad that we didn’t listen to his advice. He didn’t talk to me for weeks.”
“It was only a day,” Caitlin scoffed. “He sure was angry, though. I wasn’t sure he was going to come pick us up.”
“What a ride, though. No one I have ever heard of has made that sled run, before or since.”
“Who would be crazy enough to sled from the lookout point on the highway all the way down to the lake?” She shook her head.
“We were,” Jordan said.
“Well, we were crazy.”
“I was crazy,” Jordan said, chancing a glance at her. “You were incredible.”
“I was crazy…crazy for a guy that did incredibly stupid things.” She rolled her eyes.
“And fun…don’t forget the fun part.” Jordan waggled his eyebrows.
Caitlin sighed. “It was fun. We must have had a whole platoon of guardian angels.”
“We kept them busy for sure,” Jordan said as he turned the page again.
They flipped through the rest of the pictures, reliving their adventurous days. The heat of Caitlin’s leg against him had his body on fire as he warred with the desire to forget the past and look toward their future. His rational mind knew that it would be easy to forget the hurt and distrust in the moment, but it would resurface…and what would that moment cost them then?
As much as he hated serious conversations, he knew one was due, so as he turned the last page, he drew a breath to begin a dialogue he didn’t want to start.
“Caitlin, I…”
“Wait…where’s the last couple pages?” Caitlin tore the album from his hands.
“What?”
“The last couple of pages?” She flipped through the album as if they would reappear in an unexpected place. “The album ended with our engagement and wedding invitation.”
“That’s right. I remember that now.” He leaned over as she flipped through their history. “Maybe you took them out when…when you left?”
She shook her head. “The reason Douglas hadn’t found this one before was because I had hid it on the top shelf in my closet.” She met his eyes briefly. “Just looking at the album, even without opening it, had me in tears and losing my resolve.”
“You should have stared at it all day then.” Jordan meant for it to be funny, but the truth of the matter made it come out whiny.
Caitlin sighed. “You don’t understand…they were in here. I never took them out…where did they go—” She gasped, her eyes widening as she pulled out the silly burner phone Miller had given her.
“What are you doing?” Jordan asked, not understanding her thoughts.
“Getting Miller in here.” She held the phone to her ear, and while it rang, she told Jordan, “I’m afraid it means those pictures are in those perps’ hands.”
“Why would they want pictures of our engagement and wedding invitation—.” He cut his own words off as the truth wrapped around his throat. “It had my parent’s address on it!”