12. NINE
NINE
C aitlin couldn’t breathe as she waited for Jordan’s parents to answer his call…but they didn’t. He ended the call only to call them back immediately.
“Do you think they’re asleep?” Caitlin asked, wringing her hands. “Jordan…I’m sorry. If I hadn’t come back…if I…”
Jordan silenced her with one look, and she swallowed the rest of her words. He angrily punched the end call again, scrolled through his phone, then held it up to his ear.
“Derrick,” he said, meeting her eyes as he walked out onto the back deck as Miller walked through the front door.
The bodyguard watched Jordan before turning his impenetrable gaze on her. “What is it?”
“I’m assuming none of you took pages out of this album, right?” She held it up.
“None of my men would do that.” He crossed his arms.
“Well, the last two pages are missing…and they have our wedding invitation on them.”
“With Hope Lake as an address, I’m guessing?” Miller’s arms dropped, and his hands squeezed into tight fists.
“Worse than just Hope Lake…Jordan’s parents’ house.” Caitlin fought back the tears that wanted to rip through her.
“Get me their address,” Miller commanded before pulling out his walkie-talkie. “Douglas. Peters. I need you both in here right now.”
Jordan came back inside, his steps long and fast. “Derrick’s on his way to my parents’ and I’m meeting him there.”
“Hold on,” Miller said. “You getting involved will only put Caitlin further in danger, not to mention yourself. Save this for the professionals.”
Jordan froze and glared at the bigger man. “You professionals can do what you want, but you will not order me around. This is how we do things here. I’m going.” He spun to Caitlin. “You’re staying.”
Caitlin’s mouth dropped open, but she didn’t say a word. It was her fault his parents were in danger, and it tore up her stomach, thinking that something had happened to them because of her.
“Then we’ll follow you,” Miller said, pacing toward the door, where Douglas and Peters came in.
“And leave my child and Caitlin without protection?” Jordan fumed as he grabbed his keys.
“You think this is my first rodeo, lover boy?” Miller growled. Without another word to Jordan, he turned to his men to issue orders.
Jordan returned to Caitlin. “Keep all the doors and windows locked. Stay with Isabelle, and if you hear anything, call me.” He glared at Miller’s back before meeting her eyes again.
“I’m so sorry, Jordan. If…something…” the sobs broke free, but she silenced them in by biting her lip, although it was sore.
Jordan drew her quickly into his arms. “Whatever happens is not your fault, but I have to go. Keep our girl safe.”
“With my life,” she said, swallowing back the emotions that she knew would overtake her the moment the men stepped out the door.
Miller turned as Jordan reached past him to grab his cowboy hat. “Peters is staying with you, Caitlin. He has strict orders to contact me the moment he even feels something is off.”
She nodded, hugging her arms tightly around herself. With one last glance, Jordan disappeared out the door into the darkness, and the others followed, leaving her rushing around the house checking all the doors and windows. Then she led Buster into her room and crawled into bed with Isabelle, wrapping her arms around her sleeping world.
She told herself she hadn’t fallen asleep, but the sound of a key in the lock of the front door had her bolting upright, fully awake in an instant, heart racing and breath gasping. The door shut quietly; the lock turning with a welcome rasp. Only Jordan would come in and lock the door behind him, right? Buster barely stirred before he plopped his head back down with a sigh.
“It’s me,” Jordan whispered as he stepped toward the hall. Buster’s tail thumped in greeting, but he didn’t bother to lift his head again.
She slid from bed, meeting him at the door. “Are they okay? Please tell me they’re okay.” She reached for him, grasping his arms and searching his eyes for an answer.
He nodded. “They’re okay. There was some sort of church dinner tonight. They’re going home with the Ramseys for the night…just to be on the safe side.”
Caitlin let out her breath, her head dropping onto Jordan’s chest. “I would never forgive myself if…”
“Hey,” he said, pulling back and tilting her chin until she met his eyes. “I told you, none of this is your fault.”
She nodded, though she didn’t believe it.
“Derrick and Tony are staking out the place, and Miller and his man are scouting the edges and doing what they do…whatever that means.” He leaned against the doorway, glancing down the hall and back at Isabelle sleeping. “Is she a wild sleeper?”
“Some nights, why?” Caitlin asked, thrown by the question.
“I won’t be able to sleep with you two down the hall.”
“What are you saying?” Caitlin held her breath, not sure how she felt about where she thought this was going.
“I need to sleep. You need to sleep. Our bed…my bed is a king. There’s plenty of room.” He shrugged, but the corners of his lips quirked up. “I’m not making a move, girl. I need to know you guys are safe.”
Caitlin glanced down the hall and back at Isabelle, swallowing the mixed emotions that pummeled through her. “Okay, uh, I’ll get the bed ready.”
“I’ll carry her in,” Jordan said with a sigh that seemed to release the tension in his shoulders. “Hey, we’re going to get through this.”
Caitlin squeezed her lips against the tremble that started shaking through them, nodded, then slipped down the hall to his room…which he had originally called theirs.
She had avoided this area as much as possible, but in the open room, it hit her again…all of her plans, her dreams of the perfect bedroom, down to the log bed that she traced her fingers down, to the forestry comforter she pulled back that stared at her as if taunting her of what she could have had all along.
As she readied the bed, she realized she had automatically gone to her old side and glanced across to see the alarm clock, a book, and a picture sitting on the other side of the bed…Jordan’s side. Had he kept that side out of habit?
Her eyes squinted as she looked closer at the picture. Shock traveled through her, sending sparks from the top of her head down to her toes, as recognition took hold. Had he really kept that picture there the entire time?
Jordan’s soft murmurs brought her back to her task, and she hurriedly finished readying the bed, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks. “Here you go, sugar cakes. Sweet dreams.” He kneeled on the bed to lay Isabelle in the middle, stooping down to kiss her before pulling the covers over her.
Caitlin stared at him, wondering at how much he had changed, even though so much of him hadn’t.
“This okay?” he asked, almost shyly, something that Jordan hardly ever seemed.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice choking on the word. “It’ll be fine. I…I’ll feel safer.”
“You will?” Jordan asked as he passed her on his way to the bathroom. “I’m glad to hear that you feel safe with me.”
Caitlin eased onto the edge of the bed, pulling at her pajamas and feeling vulnerable. “Of course I do…I always have.”
Jordan poked his head out of the bathroom, his bare chest pulling her gaze, noticing how much his pecs had grown and shoulders widened. Could four years really turn a boy into a man? “If you had, you wouldn’t have left.”
The words hit her in the chest like a mountain bike handlebar to her breastbone. “I…I never saw it that way, but I guess there are different levels of safety.”
He stepped out of the bathroom in sweatpants and a tightly fitting t-shirt that left little to the imagination. “Different levels of safety, really?” He stuck his head out the door and called down the hall. “Buster, come on, boy.”
Buster plodded down the hall, his nails click-clacking until he circled his bed and plopped down with a grunt.
“Poor, tired boy. He’s had a big day, too.” She glanced at Jordan as he rounded the bed. “So, yeah, there’s physical safety.” She crawled under the blankets on one side of Isabelle, and he crawled in on the other. “And then there’s the heart.”
“So…it’s your heart you don’t think is safe with me?” Jordan leaned up on an elbow. “Should we leave your heart in the other room?”
“Ha ha,” she said, laying down completely.
“You know…I actually understand what you’re saying.”
She leaned back up, watching him as he rolled over to turn off the light, seeing his features soften as her eyes adjusted to the moonlight. “You do?”
“Yeah.” He laid back, his hands behind his head. “I didn’t understand before…back when I made my threat, but after you left…they say time heals a broken heart, but I didn’t find that to be true.”
Caitlin sucked in a breath, wanting to get this all out in the open and yet terrified of what that might mean. “I…I don’t have the right to ask, but the picture…”
“You mean the one I caught you staring at as I came in with our girl?” Jordan grabbed the picture and held it in the moonlight streaming in, highlighting on their young, joyous faces. “That was our first mountain climb.”
Caitlin’s cheeks heated again, grateful for the darkness of the room, and for him turning ?to return the picture. She swallowed past the tightness in her throat. “I know, I’ve always loved that picture, but I mean…I can’t imagine that would be good for your game.”
He sat up to stare down at her, the abrupt movement of the bed causing Isabelle to groan and wiggle in her sleep. Once she settled, Jordan bored into Caitlin’s eyes again, his eyes dark sockets in the night. “My game? Really?”
“Well, I mean…you had every right to move on. I left, broke all contact…”
“Was it that easy to replace me?” he asked.
“You? No. There would have never been any replacing you.” Her words softened into whispered truth.
“Then why would you think it would be any different for me?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know…I thought you’d be happier…”
Jordan scoffed, throwing himself back down into the bed and disturbing Isabelle again. “Sorry, sugar cakes. Shh.”
It always pleasantly surprised Caitlin to hear the gentleness of his way with their daughter. She didn’t tire of it, even though it hurt her heart, wishing for the life that she had dreamed of with him.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, settling down against the pillow again, resting a hand on her daughter, both to reassure her girl and herself.
“We can’t undo what was done,” Jordan said, yawning and settling back into his sleep position. “But we can try to understand each other’s reasons.”
“And learn to communicate better…rather than assume.” Caitlin gripped the covers in her hand, willing the emotions to stay out of her voice so she could get through this needed conversation without ruining it with tears.
“It’s hard not to assume…but yes.” He turned over on his side, staring at her above Isabelle’s head. “Do you know why I didn’t want kids?”
“You didn’t want our way of life to change.”
“I was terrified.”
“Terrified of change?”
“No, terrified I wouldn’t be what the kid needed.” He rolled over onto his back, his eyes staring at the ceiling. “When Tyler asked us about Krista…all I could picture was the girl hiding under the table, tears constantly in her eyes, and fear pierced my heart. How could I help a girl who had lost everything? We were just kids ourselves.”
“We could have done it,” she said, but softly, afraid to become lost in an old fight.
“Yes, but at what cost?”
“Back to losing your adventure time?”
He sat back up. “No…at what cost to her? We didn’t know how to be parents, much less how to take on a kid that would have abandonment issues. She needed more than I could give.”
“She seems pretty balanced now,” Caitlin said after a long pause. She didn’t want to fight, though she mulled over what he said, realizing he had never told her these reasons before, never truly explained it. She had always thought he said no to Krista because of losing their adventure time and having to become responsible.
“She’s doing great…but that has a lot to do with Megan. She was what the girl needed.”
“So, I understand more about why you refused to take Krista on…but why the threat? Why go straight to no kids of our own? Not even in the future?” She glanced down at Isabelle, her heart aching with the thought of how Jordan hadn’t wanted her…but that was before.
“Fear.” Jordan softly cleared his throat. “Fear I wouldn’t be enough.”
“Look at you with her, though. How could you feel that way?”
“I’ve grown, Caitlin. Losing everything I lived for changed me.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take that away…we had fought so much the last couple of years. I didn’t know you still felt that way.” She blew out a shaky breath.
“Well, I did…though maybe I didn’t even fully know it until you were no longer there.” He yawned again.
“It’s been a long day,” she said, her emotions roiling inside her as she tried to process this new side of Jordan. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me.”
“Pop’s advice.” Another yawn overtook him. “I want to hear your side of the story…your reasons for leaving, but I’m afraid I won’t be as attentive as I should be tonight. I’m exhausted.”
“It’s okay. We’ll have time.”
“There’s never enough time, Caitlin, but I guess tomorrow is soon enough.” He rolled on his side, facing her and Isabelle. “Wake me if you hear something.”
“I will. Thank you again, Jordan.”
“Mmhmm,” he murmured, and a few seconds later, soft snores came from his side of the bed.
“Goodnight, my love…” she whispered, trying to keep her eyes open to soak in the picture of them all in bed together, but losing the battle, quickly joining the two people she loved the most in dreamland.
Jordan awoke to warmth against him and the sweet smell of his daughter and wife in his bed. He clamped his eyes shut, willing himself to continue the dream and prolong the feeling of contentment and peace.
This was what his life should have been. This was what it should be.
His eyes shot open as he felt Isabelle sit up in bed with a gasp. “Daddy! What we doing in your bed?”
A lazy smile pulled at his lips as he remembered convincing Caitlin to bring their daughter into bed with him last night. His gaze fell past his daughter to her mother, whose disheveled look made the irritated expression on her face seem more friendly.
“Having a sleepover,” Caitlin mumbled as she stretched and nestled further under the covers.
“Yay! Sleepovers fun!” Isabelle cheered, laying back down and wrapping an arm around each of them. “We all together.”
“Yes, sugar cakes, we’re all together.” Jordan cuddled closer to her, his hand hitting against Caitlin, causing him to freeze, but she didn’t pull away. It made him feel warm all over to hold them both, so he shoved away lingering doubts, telling himself he’d deal with them later.
Heavy boot steps echoed down the hall, rudely interrupting a moment of peace that Jordan finally felt. Buster sat up in bed and growled low, but didn’t bark. Jordan sat up, heart pounding as he wished he had brought his rifle next to the bed last night.
Caitlin sat up as well, glancing at him. “Probably just Miller or one of the others.”
“I’ll check,” Jordan said, pulling the covers up around Isabelle, who smiled at him, and slid out of the bed, Buster staying on his heels.
“Be careful,” Caitlin whispered, squeezing the blankets.
“What? You worried about me?” Jordan teased, but his heart rate sped up as he came to the door. The boot steps had stopped halfway down the hall, as if the guy stood at Caitlin’s room.
With sweaty hands, he gripped the doorknob, turning it slowly and silently. Holding his breath, he eased it open enough he could see through a splinter of a crack. Buster stopped growling to sniff the air. Miller stared right at him, folding his arms and settling into a grim expression while Jordan opened the door the whole way and stepped out.
“Good morning, Miller. Thought you might be a bad guy,” Jordan said, leaning against the doorjamb, letting Buster prance over to Miller to smell his pants.
“They in there?” His voice gave nothing away, but a momentary narrowing of his eyes did.
“Yes, would you like to see for yourself?” Jordan stepped out of the doorway so he could see past him to Caitlin and Isabelle, snuggled and sitting in bed. “We thought it’d be safer all in one room.”
“It’s none of my business,” Miller said. “But knowing that ahead of time would have kept me from having a small heart attack when I couldn’t find the two people my boss is counting on me to protect.”
“Duly noted,” Jordan said. “For now, you can assume the girls will sleep in my room.”
Miller grunted, spun on his heel to stride down the hall. At the end he turned back toward him, “We have news…once you're dressed.”
Jordan looked down at his sweats and back down the hall where Miller had disappeared. He came back into the bedroom, closing the door behind him and Buster. “He doesn’t like my sweats.”
Isabelle giggled. “Nice pajamas!”
“Well, I prefer you in wranglers myself…” Caitlin turned away, but not before he saw the blush on her cheeks.
“Hmph, I see how it is.” He took out some jeans and a shirt, and walked toward the bathroom. “For the record,” he said, waiting for her to look at him so he could see her reaction. “I like your just-woke-up look. It’s one of your best.” He winked as her blush deepened and closed the door so he could dress.
“We’re getting dressed, too,” Caitlin said against the door a couple of minutes later. “See you out there.”
Jordan rushed so he could beat Caitlin to Miller. He didn’t want the news to scare her. He also wanted the guy version, as he discovered that Miller downplayed the facts when he spoke to Caitlin.
Miller raised his eyebrow as Jordan raced from the hallway. “Caitlin not coming?”
“She is. They’re dressing.” He let Buster out to the backyard then stepped closer to Miller. “Give it to me straight.”
Miller eyed him. “You’re invested?”
“In my wife and child? What kind of person do you think I am?”
“Estranged wife…”
“She’s here, isn’t she?” Jordan crossed his arms. “Besides, it’s also my parents, isn’t it? So pretty much everyone I love is being affected by whatever is going on.”
Miller gave a brief nod. “Understood.” He eyed the hall and lowered his voice. “Two perps were sneaking around your parent’s place. They looked to be the same guys from the photos.”
“They were there? On my parents’ property?” Jordan sucked in a breath, his whispered words loud enough that he glanced down the hall.
“As directed, we called in the local authorities, but they eluded them.” Miller’s grim expression told Jordan enough.
Jordan clenched his teeth. “Derrick must not have been there.”
“It was the deputy. If we want this situation taken care of, we have to be given the freedom to…” Miller spread his hands out.
Jordan shook his head. “My best friend is the sheriff. You know I can’t be okay with that.” He paced in front of the bodyguard. “What do you think their next steps will be? I mean, if they checked out the location and didn’t find Caitlin, would they leave town?”
Miller raised an eyebrow again.
“You’re right.” Jordan continued his pacing. “They would search for her. If they didn’t care about being identified later, they might show her picture around. If they did, they would follow the paper trail…next of kin or…” Jordan gulped as the realization took hold and he met Miller’s knowing eyes.
“So, you either watch detective movies or have been spending a lot of time with your sheriff friend.” Miller crossed his arms.
“But I’m right, aren’t I? That means they won’t be safe here…not anymore.” Jordan glanced down the hall as Isabelle’s laughter shrilled through the house. “What are we going to do?”
“I’ve contacted the boss. He is adamant that we stay in Hope Lake, despite my advice to flee the area.” Miller grimaced.
Jordan nodded. “Running will only make them chase…and continue the chase until this is over.”
Miller narrowed his eyes. “You suggesting we fight? This isn’t a tv show. People will get hurt.”
“No…not a fight…” Jordan rubbed a hand down his face, trying to piece things together. “Let’s call Derrick and make a plan.”
“A plan about what?” Caitlin asked as she came into the room, Isabelle running after her.
“I hungry, Mommy. I hungry, Daddy.” She stopped when she saw Miller. “Maybe big man hungry, too. He look grumpy.”
Jordan squatted to pick up his daughter and hide the smile her comment gave him. Kids' innocence could be a little too honest?.
“What’s going on?” Caitlin asked.
“They’re in Hope Lake, Caitlin. It’s time to make plans. Your…man there wants to trust local law enforcement. What’s your say?” Miller asked.
Caitlin glanced at Jordan, their eyes meeting in understanding. “Derrick is a good man. I think we should bring him in on whatever we plan. That’s why my dad wants me here. We protect our own.”
Miller dropped his arms and shrugged. “Fine. Have it your way. Call your buddy.” He left the house without another word.
“I think your bodyguard feels hampered by the law,” Jordan said. “Come on, sugar cakes. Let’s get you some breakfast.” His phone rang, reminding him that there were other aspects of his life.
Caitlin took Isabelle from his arms and motioned for him to answer the call. “Do you want cereal or a real breakfast?”
“Cereal is real breakfast.” Isabelle humphed as they disappeared into the kitchen.
“Hey, Frank,” Jordan said as he answered the call.
“Where are you? We’ve got trouble coming, and the homeowners are trying to change the lighting again, and our electrician is threatening to walk out.” Frank fumed.
“Well, they’re in good hands. I know you’ll handle it beautifully.”
Frank sputtered. “What, me handle it? That’s your job. That’s why you get paid the big bucks. Now get down here and earn that paycheck.”
“Hmm,” Jordan said, scratching at his unshaven chin. “I guess it means it’s time for a raise. Is five percent enough?”
“To deal with these rich hoity-toity—.”
“You’re right. Ten percent it is. You’ll see it on this week’s paycheck. Thanks, Frank. You’re the best!” Jordan hung up the phone, laughing as he pictured his foreman red in the face and yelling at the dead phone in his hand.
“Everything okay?” Caitlin asked as he entered the kitchen still chuckling.
“Oh yeah, just gave Frank a raise so he could deal with the disaster.”
“I’m sorry, Jordan. My being here is ruining everything you worked so hard for.” Caitlin bit her lip and looked away.
“Hey,” he said, cupping her cheek and fighting the urge to pull her into his arms. “I worked hard for this …for you and Isabelle being here. I’m not leaving you alone during this ordeal.” He dropped his hand. “Frank is capable of handling any issue that arises. It was time for him to get a raise, anyway.”
Caitlin nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. When a single tear slid down her cheek, his resolve drained, and he drew her into his arms. “We’ll get through this, Caity. We’ll get through it together.”
Isabelle glanced up, chewing her cereal and watching them with curious brown eyes…his eyes.
“Isn’t that right, sugar cakes?” he said.
“Right!” she said, her mouth full of food, but then she covered her mouth and finished chewing.
Caitlin relaxed in his arms, sending a feeling of rightness through him. This was where she belonged, where she had always belonged. She had made a mistake, they both had. Was it worth not having that closeness that he so craved?
Caitlin pushed back and wiped at her eyes before returning to pouring him a bowl of cereal. “Should we wait to call Derrick?”
“Nah, hold off on the milk. I’ll call him now.” He watched her slender hands as she set the milk back down on the counter, easing herself into the chair next to Isabelle.
She had grown in the last four years. Her physical strength had turned into emotional fortitude. He couldn’t stop watching her as she interacted with Isabelle, talking about the colors in her cereal or the number of pieces in her spoon.
“You’re a good mom.”
She looked up at him, her mouth slightly open. “I…She’s my life,” she whispered.
“And you are both mine,” he said, giving her a nod before taking the phone out to the back deck to call Derrick before he gave too much of his heart away. Buster greeted him before running out to sniff around the woods again.
“I heard,” Derrick said as he answered the phone.
“Good morning to you, too,” Jordan chuckled. “We need to come up with a plan before Rambo and his men tear our town apart.”
“That good, huh?” Derrick groaned. “I promised to spend the day with the girls…”
“Bring them over here. I want them to meet Isabelle, anyway.”
“You sure?” Derrick asked.
“Yeah, Caitlin will go crazy over the baby.”
“You want to put that idea in her head?” Derrick cleared his throat.
“Well, I hadn’t thought about that, but this family-life-thing is pretty sweet.”
“What? Who are you, and where is my best friend?” Derrick asked.
Jordan laughed. “Maybe reality will hit once all this is over…but, I don’t know. It’s nice having them here.”
“You need to make that decision before you get hopes up…hers and yours…and especially that little girl of yours.”
Derrick’s warning caused his chest to tighten and itch uncomfortably, but he realized not because he was afraid his mind would change…but hers.