Chapter 23 #2
The tears burned like a purge. And as they were shed, more images of his mother flooded his mind: smiling as she tended her rose garden.
Pushing Snake on the swing, higher and higher until he could touch the stars.
Was it possible he was like her? Warm and loving.
Generous in spirit? But he had to be. She grew him in her body. Fed him with her essence.
“You weren’t made wrong. You were made to be both.”
Snake wanted to carve the words into his bones, where, protected under his flesh, even time couldn’t wear them away. He smoothed the doll’s raven locks and let the truth sink in. Since his misery had grown from imbalance, confronting his father was pointless.
Instead, he needed to embrace both sides of himself.
And he’d be whole again.
Snake felt hopeful for the first time in years, maybe forever. He packed away his belongings, but when he laid his mother’s effigy in her trunk, her eyes stayed open, as if pleading with him to keep her out of hiding.
“You’re right, darling. I’ll keep you in view so I will never forget you again.”
He cracked the closet door and peered out. Sugar and Suki were sound asleep. Whisper quiet, he padded to the sitting area and sat the doll on a display shelf, next to a collection of shrunken heads. Heart hammering, he tiptoed to the shower.
The water circling the drain blushed red as he scrubbed away the evidence of his blood tears. He couldn’t imagine explaining that to Sugar. Once finished, he emerged from the bathroom clad in his robe and found Sugar sitting alone in bed, still undressed.
“Good morning, darling.”
Sugar patted the spot next to him. “We need to talk.”
My epiphany came too late. He’s going to leave me.
Feeling like a man about to be drawn and quartered, he crawled into bed and sat next to Sugar, eyes down, hands clenched in his lap.
“I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t blame you.”
“You know about Ormond? How?”
Snake met Sugar’s eyes. “Ormond? What about him?”
“Fuck,” Sugar groaned. “I’m just going to say it.” He blew out a long breath. “Ormond never gave up. He’s been texting me for years. Two weeks ago, he begged me to meet up. I did.” He looked away. “And I fucked him.”
“No!” Snake flung himself off the bed. “No, you did not!” He paced like a caged animal. “Not him, Sugar. Not fucking Ormond!”
This was worse than being drawn and quartered.
This was like being burned alive. His Vinterbourne half rose like a demon, and his vision turned red.
He grabbed a dagger from their collection and was about to slash Sugar’s favorite painting when he spotted his mother’s eyes, staring at him from across the room.
Snake dropped the dagger. “I’m sorry.” He sank into a chair near the bed, doubtful that he could ever exorcise his father completely.
“That Dali is priceless. I was about to beg you to use the knife on me instead.”
“I’d say that I would never hurt you, except I already have. Too many times.”
“That doesn’t excuse what I did.”
Tears streaming down his face, Sugar confessed all. The decades of messages, his need to be wanted and desired, his guilt over giving Ormond fresh hope.
“I saw our afternoon together for what it was: a mistake. Ormond saw it as an opportunity to win me back. That’s why he planned that ridiculous ruse.
And now, my hands are stained red, all because my shallow need became the catalyst for disaster, and you and Gunner paid the price. I can’t forgive myself. Can you?”
“You looked to another for what I refused to give. I knew I was hurting you, but my ego wouldn’t let me accept it. Of course I forgive you. The real question is, can you forgive me?”
Sugar’s pause went on for an eternity.
“This is… unexpected. I’m speechless.”
“What did you think would happen?”
“You would kick me out of the crew and your life.”
Snake broke. Tears fell. “I’d rather die than be away from you for longer than a day.”
Sugar lurched off the bed. “Your eyes are bleeding!” He leaned in close. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but we need to get you to the infirmary. Now.”
“Vampires weep tears of blood. It’s nothing.”
“Nothing? I didn’t even know you could cry.”
“I almost forgot myself.” Snake pulled Sugar onto his lap. “It’s a grisly sight, I’m sure.”
“No, it’s heartbreaking.” Sugar caught a tear on his fingertip and licked it away. “Straight blood. No wonder your eyes are turning black. Drink from me.”
“I don’t deserve—”
Sugar pressed his neck to Snake’s face. “Let me take care of you.”
“Yes, my love.” Biting into Sugar’s warm skin, tasting his sweet life force, Snake fell into a state of euphoria that both clarified and cleansed. When sated, he licked Sugar’s neck. “You keep saving me over and over.”
“And you keep cutting me open.”
He took Sugar’s hands and met his emerald stare. “I’ve clung to a lie that my father spoon-fed me since birth, using it as an excuse to be selfish and cruel. But that ends today because I’m not him. And I can love,” his breath hitched, “because I love you, Sugar.”
Sugar drew back as if the words burned.
Seconds ticked by, and Snake braced himself for the killing blow.
“Say it again.”
“I love you, Sugar.”
“You love me?” The sight of his fresh tears stabbed Snake in the heart.
“Yes. But it’s more than mere love. You own me, I swear you do. I think your name was etched into my soul before we even met.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you, Sugar.” He kissed him, and their tears mingled—blood and saline.
“I want to believe you, but…”
He pressed his fingers against Sugar’s lips. “No, no, of course you don’t, and I don’t expect you to. Proving it is my job, and I swear I will—even if it takes another century, I’ll prove that my love for you is real.”
Sugar reached between them and untied Snake’s robe.
“Fuck the words into me. Now.” Sugar lifted his hips and drove down, taking him in.
“I love you, Sugar.”
“Fuck it into me. Hard and deep.”
Mad thrusts. The chair legs banged against the floor in time with Snake’s hips. Sugar squeezed him deeper.
“Swallow me whole, Sugar. Keep me inside you forever.”
“Harder,” Sugar panted. “Let’s break this fucking chair.”
“It’s sixteenth century!”
“I don’t care.” He bit Snake’s lip. “Make me come like only you can.”
Holding Sugar’s ass, Snake stood. “The bed’s louder.” He laid him on the mattress and railed him properly. The room filled with thunder as the headboard beat against the wall. “There. Now everyone on the ship knows.”
“Say it again.” Eyes wild, Sugar wrapped his legs around Snake’s waist.
“I love you. You’re my life. You always were, and you always will be.” Sugar clawed at Snake’s back. “Yes. Mark me. Make me yours.”
“Even though your body is covered in my name, I never felt I had the right to claim you.”
“I’m giving you that right. Now and forever.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yes, my love. I truly do.”
Sugar smiled with his entire body.
“You are mine, vampire. I’ll gladly share, but you are mine.”
The last scar on his heart cracked open. He was free. “Do with me as you will, pet.” He kissed each tear-stained cheek. “I am your servant.”
Sugar came undone, wailing and keening as he fell into bliss. “Fill me until I drown.”
“I’ll give you all you want.”
Snake lost count of how much time had passed or how many orgasms they’d shared. Sticky and wet, they panted with the kind of boneless exhaustion only good, hard fucking could provide. “My sweet Sugar. I could feast on you.”
“You’re the only man who’s ever been able to keep up with me.” Sugar wore the expression of a satisfied kitten. Snake was proud he’d been the one to make him purr.
“You’re positively coated. Should I grab a towel and dry you off?”
“Don’t you dare.”
“For someone who hates to get dirty, you adore being covered in sticky man spunk.”
“Who doesn’t love seeing evidence of hot sex all over their body?” Sugar finally released Snake from the iron grip of his thighs. “It’s delicious.”
Snake sat with his legs flat. “Lay across my lap. I’ll paint you with it.”
On his knees, legs together, Sugar folded over Snake’s thighs.
“I filled you full, pet.”
“Five times and I’m still somewhat upright.”
“I love giving you what you crave.” Snake slid his fingers over Sugar’s dripping hole, dragging the wetness up and down his silk crevasse. As it flowed, he painted Sugar’s ass, the back of his thighs, and the small of his back. “Now you look like ten men fucked you.”
“You’re going to make me come again.”
“That certainly wasn’t my intention.” He spanked Sugar’s bottom before sliding three fingers inside him. “Will this make you come?” He worked them in and out, pleased when Sugar’s hard cock pressed into his thigh.
“If you talk dirty to me, they will.”
“Dirty talk is naughty. Then you’ll have to paddle me pink. But I’ll wriggle, so you’ll need to tie me to the bed.” Sugar’s cum was thick and hot against Snake’s thighs.
“I’m still hard. Don’t stop.”
“Darling, I need you to fuck me. To own me.”
He bit his lip as Sugar took him hard. Full, he was so full. Of Sugar. Of love. Of firm cock. As he added to the sticky mess on his front, Sugar doused him on the inside. Satisfied and dripping, they rubbed against each other in blissful, orgiastic joy.
“I’m drunk on jizz,” Sugar giggled. “It’s even in my eyelashes.”
“And dripping from our asses.”
“I love fucking you, and I fucking love you.”
“Let’s nap together like this. We’ll wake up dirty and beautiful.”
“And then do it all over again,” Sugar said as they curled around each other.
“This is one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you.”
Sugar smacked Snake’s ass. “Took you long enough.”
For the first time, Snake was sure he belonged. Here. On this ship. With this crew. And this enchanting Humerian who could’ve had any man in the universe but still chose him, even when he was still broken.
He wasn’t made wrong. He was made to be both.
And for Sugar, he would be.