Chapter 24
Horatio
Horatio knew he dreamt of color because his nightmares were drenched in red. A ruby gush pouring from Gunner’s neck. A crimson trail from the foyer to the infirmary. A bag of claret hanging from an IV stand.
After jerking awake for the tenth time, he turned on a bedside lamp.
Gunner’s color was normal, breathing slow and rhythmic, bandage pristine.
Even though Sugar had checked him recently, Horatio couldn’t stop himself from adjusting his blankets and taking a peek under the covers to check for a huge boner, which he didn’t find.
A little disappointing.
Sleepy but wired, Horatio lay on his side and watched Gunner breathe. He remembered how those breaths quickened right before climax and how it felt to be inside him when they did. Blissful, yet terrifying.
I am so, so, so fucked.
Inhale. Exhale. A living metronome, the sounds of Gunner’s breath calmed him more than any medication could. Still, stupid thoughts fluttered through his brain, and soon he was tripping over a memory he didn’t want to relive.
· · ·
“That was fucking hot, dude.” Beau tugged off the condom and tossed it on the floor. “What’s the Wi-Fi password?” He reached for his phone.
“It’s ‘how about a post-sex cuddle so I don’t feel like a whore dash 6 dash 9’.”
Beau left his phone on the nightstand. “I couldn’t wait to check social media for the fans’ reaction to the show. What a fucking banger!” He shared Horatio’s pillow and draped a limp arm across his waist. “How’s this?”
“Nice.” When had Beau’s bare minimum become Horatio’s enough? “That fuck was a banger. I needed a solid pounding.”
“Hell, yeah, I railed that ass.” Beau chuckled. “Did you know you moan like a woman when you come? I think I kinda love that.”
Horatio stared into his hazel eyes. “I think I kinda love you.”
“You’re hilarious, dude.” Beau reached under the pillows. “Where’s the remote?”
“Did you hear what I said?” He grabbed Beau’s hand. “I love you.”
“I heard you the first time.”
“And?”
Beau’s gaze took on a cruel edge. “Do you want me to say it back? Because I can’t. I don’t love you. I mean, you’re a hot piece of ass, but that’s all.”
Horatio took a swan dive off a fifty-story building into a cement box full of broken glass. But he still had enough dignity to bite back.
“You’ve been fucking me for almost a year. Do you at least like me?”
“Yeah, I like you. Especially your tight ass. Ready to go again?”
“As long as we switch positions.” He pointed his cock at Beau. “Climb aboard. I’ll show you how it feels to be just a fuck hole.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just a warm place to stick your dick. You don’t even care about me as a friend.”
Beau stabbed a finger at the door. “Get the fuck out of my room, Horatio.”
Rage pushed his broken heart aside. He pinned Beau beneath him and got right in his face.
“This deluxe suite? Is mine. The band? Is mine. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be flipping burgers.
” He leaned back on his heels, yanking Beau up by the hair.
“Here’s what’s going to happen: you’re gonna shut the fuck up and play guitar, and when this tour is over, we’re done.
Monotony is done. Do you understand me?”
Eyes wide with fear, Beau nodded.
“Good. Now get the fuck out. But if I get wind of you talking shit about me behind my back, I will end your career so hard, even Burger Mac won’t hire you.”
· · ·
Once he’d locked the door, Horatio crawled back into his hotel bed and ugly cried until he was a desiccated corpse.
He felt stupid. Worthless. Tainted. Two nights later, he disappeared off the face of the Earth before he could even process it all.
Now the past threatened to eat him alive until Gunner stirred and reminded him that life was different now.
The big eyes opened. “Hi.” Gunner smiled like he was happy to see him.
Horatio kinda loved that.
“Hi, Cupcake. How are you feeling?” His heart thumped.
“Like I participated in a twelve-hour orgy.”
“What a coincidence, so do I.”
Laughing, Gunner stretched. “Have you been up long?”
“Yeah. I didn’t sleep well. Nightmares.”
“I’m sorry.” He held out his arms. “C’mere.” Horatio put his head on Gunner’s chest and melted against him. “Seeing Snake like that… I can’t imagine how horrible that was for you.”
“So was watching you bleed out on the ground. That visual will haunt me into my next life.” He kissed the skin over Gunner’s heart. “Thank you for not dying.”
“Thank you for not letting me.”
Gunner moved Horatio’s hair out of the way and massaged the back of his neck with an unhurried, deliberate touch.
Like he cared.
He hated being surprised by Gunner’s tenderness.
Beau had truly ruined him—dragged him down and held his head underwater until the bubbles stopped rising.
And then Gunner came out of nowhere with a life preserver and an oxygen tank, but he’d forgotten what it felt like to be a person someone cared about, so he dodged him like a bullet.
“That’s so good.” Horatio sighed. “Your fingers are magic.”
Gunner snorted. “Jake Sparks said that about you.”
Horatio blushed. “The lead guitarist for Mad Dog?”
“Yeah, in an interview. And then he and the reporter did a quick fist bump. It went over my head back then, but now I get it.”
“I never fingered Jake Sparks…”
Memories flickered. Lots of alcohol. A deserted tour bus. Jake giggling as Horatio poured lube down his crack.
“Fuck, yeah, dude. Stretch me good so I can take that monster up my ass.”
Three fingers in, Jake shot his load and passed out with a smile on his face.
“Oh shit. I actually did.” He cringed a little. “By any chance, was that reporter a brunette with snake-bite piercings?”
“Uh-huh. Violet somebody.” Gunner found a knot at the base of Horatio’s skull and rubbed it until it melted. “Real pretty. Kind of goth.”
“Violet Faug. She met my fingers, too.”
Gunner wheezed. “Oh my god. Who else have you finger-banged?”
“Someone in Monotony. Guess who.”
Gunner named every member of the band, past and present, until he finally got to the right one. The shock in his voice made Horatio laugh.
“Yup. Me and Beau Breakstone. For a whole year.”
“Don’t get mad, but I never liked him. Sure, he’s great-looking, but he has an undertone of sleazy car salesman.”
Horatio lifted his head. “Wow. You pegged him clean.”
“He hurt you, didn’t he?”
“No.” He drew a finger down the bridge of Gunner’s nose, admiring the sun freckles dotted there. “He destroyed me.”
But I think you’re putting me back together.
As those big eyes swallowed him, the drowning sensation returned—suffocating and raw—but instead of dodging, he let it take over. Horatio moved his lips closer to Gunner’s, not saying a word, just waiting.
He didn’t have to wait long.
“You deserved better.” Gunner closed the gap between them and kissed him with such sweetness, Horatio almost wept. “So much better.”
But do I deserve you?
Horatio pulled him in for more. Moments later, they were rolling on the bed in full make out mode. Gunner pushed him back, panting. “Stop, my dick is hard. Sugar said I should take a break today.”
“Probably a good idea.” Horatio’s eyes flicked to the bandage, but it was clear.
“Is it normal to be this horny all the time?” Gunner laughed. “Dumb question. Who couldn’t be with you around? You’re beautiful, and smart, and fucking hilarious.” He buried his face in Horatio’s chest and groaned. “Sorry, I’m gushing.”
“Why are you apologizing for making me feel awesome?”
“I don’t want you to think I’m clingy or needy or that I’m pushing you into something.” Gunner looked into his eyes. “You’re cool, and I like being with you.”
“And fucking me?” Horatio grinned.
“Duh.” He frowned. “But it’s not just sex.”
Horatio traced Gunner’s jaw. “Same for me. It’s… ”
Something I’m not ready to name.
The way Gunner tipped his head to the side and smiled with just the corners of his lips—innocent but sexy—almost did him in. He had to lean in for another kiss, this one more of a “thank you for existing” kind of kiss.
“The other day, when I said we were friends? That was lame. We’re obviously more than friends.
” The words flowed out on their own, but then his brain got tangled, and he wasn’t sure what to say next—until Gunner slid his fingers up and down his back.
“Can I call you my boyfriend?” Horatio cringed. “Jesus. That sounded so high school.”
“I like it.” Gunner beamed. “You’re my boyfriend.”
“And I just passed you a note in study hall that said, ‘I really like you’.”
“And you dotted the word ‘like’ with a heart.”
“During study hall, we’re going to hide under the bleachers and make out.” He licked his lips. “We should do that now. Make out and get to third base.”
Gunner smirked. “And then fourth base.”
“You’re supposed to be resting.”
“Tell that to my dick.”
Yeah. Gunner was going to be the end of him.
But what a way to go.