Chapter 12
He was half ashamed to admit he’d loved every second of closeness and that the time had gone by too quickly.
He was also half ashamed to admit he’d drawn her back with him into a more comfortable position and was completely content lying on the sectional with her tucked against his side, both of his arms still surrounding her and her face burrowed into his chest.
He could have disentangled himself after she’d fallen asleep. He should have done so. But once she’d finally calmed down, he hadn’t wanted to disturb her, had wanted to let her rest.
Of course, he still wanted to get to the bottom of what had caused her to have a panic attack in the first place.
None of her medical or mental-health history had indicated she suffered from the attacks.
Yes, she had records of seeing a therapist and had a diagnosis of anxiety.
But so did half the country’s population.
He’d almost had a panic attack himself when he’d returned to her and discovered her shaking and hardly breathing. At first, he’d worried that she’d seen someone or that something had happened. It had been a gut reaction to pull her into his arms, to shield her, to wrap himself around her.
He didn’t want to think about why it had felt so natural or why it was something he’d never do with any other client. In fact, he didn’t want to think about why he was still on the couch with her.
All he wanted at the moment was to hold her a little longer and get his fill of having her in his arms. Obviously he could never do it again. Absolutely not. So he may as well relish the one and only time he would be close to her like this.
After all, he was still guarding her. He’d only dozed from time to time so that he could remain vigilant.
With his app projecting a magnetic shield around the perimeter of the condo, he’d set the controls at the highest alert and at three feet out.
At any movement against the shield, even a blowing leaf, the app would notify him of the threat, diagnose what was there, and give the level of danger posed by who or whatever was out there.
He’d only had three notifications over the past few hours—a mosquito, a spider, and a raccoon. He could have changed the controls to only let him know of human movement, but he’d wanted to test the highest alert function. Or maybe he just wanted to take extra precautions when it came to Silver.
Because who was he kidding? She was special. Even though they hadn’t ended up together the way he’d once longed for, she would always have a spot in his heart.
Her even breathing came to a halt, and her body stiffened against him.
She was awakening and likely realizing their proximity.
Should he release her and get up? Even though he’d helped her calm down, she didn’t need his help any longer. He really had no excuse for staying there on the couch with her.
Except that he wanted to . . .
His app pinged softly with another alert. He had to release her to pick up his phone. A quick glance told him the movement was a neighbor dog who’d been let outside and had wandered into the three-foot range of the shield.
“I thought we couldn’t have our phones on,” Silver mumbled in a sleepy voice against his chest.
He laid his phone down and returned his hand to her back, although he probably should have used the opportunity to put some distance between them. “My phone is a special one that most average criminals wouldn’t be able to track.”
“Maybe you can get me a phone like that.” She didn’t seem in a hurry to move away from him either. If anything, she seemed to burrow into him even more.
And shoot. He loved it. He loved the feel of her, the way her body fit so well with his, the slenderness and the softness, the warmth and the pressure, the smoothness of her skin and the silk of her hair.
His hand at her lower back itched to move again, to rub her spine as he had for a while or maybe brush her hair, which he’d also done a few times when she’d been asleep.
With the break of dawn yet an hour or more away, it wouldn’t hurt either of them if they lay together a little while longer. They couldn’t leave yet anyway. Not until daylight. Even then he wasn’t sure if they’d have to drive back to Boulder or if Ricky would be able to fly them.
“What do you say?” she whispered. “Can I have a phone like yours?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Then I wouldn’t have to worry about keeping it off.”
“Is that why you had the panic attack? Because of your phone being off?” Had she been worried about not staying safe? Or connected?
Even though it was still dark, he’d developed an ability to see what most others couldn’t, and he wished he could pull back and study her expression. But he waited for her to say what she wanted in her own time and in her own way.
After several long seconds, she sighed. “I’m afraid of the dark.”
He inwardly cursed himself for not realizing that sooner. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“But I made you sit here in the dark, alone.”
“I thought I would be okay, but I guess I’m not as over everything as I thought.”
“Over what?”
She fell silent again.
His muscles tightened. “Please tell me, Silver.”
“It happened when I was sixteen, the fall after we last saw each other.”
He released her and rose to one elbow, the position allowing him to see her face in the moonlight.
Her long hair was loose and wavy. Her eyes were heavy-lidded. And her cheek had a sleep line from his shirt. Even so, she was incredible, and he had the urge to pull them both back down on the couch, wrap both arms around her, and this time find her lips with his.
Maybe it was a good thing the conversation was turning serious, so that he would be deterred from doing something so stupid.
She glanced away from him and out the sliding glass door. “I was home alone by myself that night at our big new house in Englewood.”
As soon as she said the words, a lasso slipped around his gut and cinched it tight. He wasn’t going to like what she shared. He could already tell.
“I was in bed and watching a show on my phone when I heard a window breaking in a room down on the first floor.”
“Where was your housekeeper?” He couldn’t keep his tone from hardening.
“Your chauffeur? The chef?” There was no point in asking where Upton St. James had been that night.
Silver had lamented many times during their summers at the ranch how much she missed her father because he was always traveling for work.
“They had the night off because I was supposed to be staying with Whitney and Franklin. But I changed my mind at the last minute because Whitney was going on a date and Franklin decided not to come home for the weekend from college.”
“You could have spent time with your aunt and uncle.” He wasn’t sure why he was chastising her all these years later, but he was.
She released another sigh. “I know. I should have gone as planned, but I felt like I was always imposing on them, so I stayed back.”
“And . . .?”
“And to make a long story short, the thief broke in the one window that wasn’t linked to the security alarm system.”
That means he’d scoped out the house ahead, maybe even knew all the staff would be gone that night.
“As I heard him going through the house, I managed to crawl to my closet and close myself inside and hide behind my longer party gowns. Once there, I called 911. I’m not sure if he heard my voice or what, but a few minutes later, he came to my room.”
Dustin sat up all the way, too disturbed to lie still, his whole body on edge.
Silver pushed up so that she was sitting beside him. “I could hear him rummaging around. He checked in my bathroom first and then the walk-in closet that held most of my stuff.”
Dustin could only imagine the terror she must have been feeling at that point, and a burst of anger swelled up inside him—an irrational anger that made him want to hit something.
“I could hear him begin to cross toward the closet I was in. I flattened myself against the back and stayed motionless as he threw open the door. I knew he would find me if he began poking around, but a police siren saved the day.”
“The police responding to the 911 call?”
She nodded. “They were there in around five minutes. The intruder heard the siren and rushed out of the room and down the stairs. He tried escaping out a back door, which set off the home’s alarm system and alerted the police to where he was.”
“So they arrested him?”
“Yes, and he’s still in prison because apparently our house wasn’t the first he’d robbed. It turns out he had a long list of other crimes.”
Dustin guessed that was probably why the incident hadn’t been in the file. The thief couldn’t be a suspect if he was still serving time.
“I was pretty shaken up by the whole thing,” Silver continued softly.
“I’m shaken up just hearing about it.”
She laughed lightly and then bumped her shoulder against his. “I wish I’d been able to handle it all better, but I ended up being terrified of closets and hating the dark.”
“That makes sense.”
“I went to therapy for years to try to work through my anxiety.”
“Equine therapy?”
“Good guess,” she teased. “That was part of it, the part that helped the most, actually.”
“Is that why you opened your ranch?”
“Another good guess.” She bumped his shoulder again. “But yes, I learned to appreciate the way horses can read cues and connect with people in a therapeutic way. Their unconditional love and acceptance helped me to heal, and so I wanted to provide that for others.”
“I didn’t have to watch you long yesterday to see you’re doing just that.”
“I have plans to add to the ranch, have already had one of my dad’s firms come up with a design for a whole-body therapy building with lots of other options like a pool, gym, and classes. Then when clients come out to spend time with the horses, they can also have other helpful options.”
“Sounds like a big project.”
“It will be once I get the go-ahead to start from the city council.”
He fell silent as he processed everything Silver had gone through.