Chapter Four Finn
There’s so much to do, so much to say, and none of it matters if I don’t pull this off today.
Because my nerves are strung so taut, I don’t sleep a wink all night.
I also don’t bother going to the office.
I can’t. My pulse is jumping and my chest is aching too much to make concentration possible.
At this point, I’d probably merge a nunnery with a brothel and not give the papers a second glance. All my thoughts are on Zoe.
A year ago, I panicked. I threw away the best person I’d ever known to keep her safe and far away from the mess I willingly agreed to clean up. That’s what Light Fae do. We clean up the worlds as best we can. We don’t count the costs in keeping Darkness at bay. So why am I counting them now?
But the reality of Zoe’s tears and the knowledge that I’m the cause is killing me.
She’s too strong to be undone by anything other than me.
It’s not hubris to think so. It’s responsibility and love.
I fell in love with a Human despite never thinking it possible, and I love her so much, the knife I cut her with still cuts at me.
So, instead of going into the office, I take myself off to my favorite coffee shop, a place I used to come to with Zoe on those mornings when we could run a little late.
It’s a good decision because I think I can tempt her out of Rookwood and over to me, where I can keep her safe.
I sip coffee, a Human pastime I’ve picked up, and mull over the best way to convince her to leave work.
There’s no rush. I just need her with me by noon so that she won’t accidentally become enmeshed in the take-down.
Not that she shouldn’t be safe at her place of employment. I’d just feel better if I could protect her, in case some yahoo, salivating for a promotion, decides to send a separate force to Rookwood to pick her up for her ostensible involvement in the gun-running.
I don’t want to lie to her, but I think the best way to ensure that she leaves her responsibilities and comes to me is to fake an injury. And what’s one more lie in the dozens I’ve already told?
Except, my gut keeps clenching. I don’t know if it’s guilt or a warning of impending disaster. My magick is flaring. I just don’t know the cause.
Soon. I’ll take care of imprisoning it again, soon.
Just as I realize that my empty cup means time has escaped me, my phone buzzes. My blood jumps with fear and adrenalin when I see who’s calling.
“Finn Forest.” I snap my name when I answer.
“Just wanted to tell you that everything’s in place. No second thoughts, right?”
Happily, Jim, a.k.a. Jimson Thorne of the LFBI, can’t see the way I tense. “Not a single one. I can’t wait to be rid of this burden.”
“Really? Because I’d have second thoughts about sending the beautiful Seraphina to a woman’s max correctional facility where I could never fuck her again.”
“That’s the best-case scenario for her, isn’t it? If she’s granted the mercy of Human justice?”
“We’ll see what the Light Court decides. Might be easier to involve the Humans since the Dark Court will have to weigh in, and you know how it is when those two tangle. Why? You feeling guilty for selling your fiancé up the river?”
“Always.” That’s as honest as I can be.
“Well, no matter what court hears her case, she’ll be imprisoned in the short term. Buck up, cowboy. Maybe you’ll be granted visitation. You are engaged, after all.” And he chuckles.
An icy trail steals up my spine. The lead agent might be employed by the LFBI, liaisoning with the Human FBI by working undercover as one of their agents, but he has more than a touch of Dark Fae in his bloodline.
It comes out in rare moments like this one where he seems to delight in torturing me.
It’s enough to remind me that trusting him implicitly would be stupid.
“Touching Seraphina Freeman has been like touching poison. Knowing that she’s the one who masterminded Zoe’s participation as scapegoat on the chance that the arms deal goes south is...well. Unforgivable. I have no desire to ever see her again, let alone touch her.”
Seraphina’s plan to pin all the blame on Zoe in case the LFBI, or the more Human FBI, caught wind of the sale is enough to wash away most of my regrets about using my fiancé, though not all of them.
For a Light Fae to act so dishonestly is shameful.
To have taken her to my bed under fraudulent circumstances feels almost as inexcusable as her actions have been in placing Zoe in the crosshairs.
But in any event, Seraphina’s actions have ensured that I don’t desire her in the slightest.
Papers rustle some more on the other end of the line. “Just keep a distance today, okay? We don’t want Miss Freeman to read anything in your mannerisms or aura. How’s the lock on your magick? Still holding strong?”
“Yeah. Maybe a little leakage, but nothing to worry about. She knows I’m Light Fae. She expects to feel something coming off me.”
“Something super low level, Forest. If today doesn’t go as planned, she needs to continue to think that you’re weak, one of those sifted from the home realm because you’re useless there.
A lack of magick gave you unprecedented access to Rookwood that you wouldn’t have had if she suspected how strong you really are.
She could still cut you off if spooked.”
“I intend to wait out the time in my favorite coffee shop. No chance of her reading me.”
“Good. Keep you away from the action in case we have need of you down the line. I don’t think we will, but it’s better if you’re not at the take-down.”
“You’re the boss.” And I mean it, because if Jimson Thorne hadn’t already had a case building against the Freemans and Roger Parks, and if he hadn’t known enough about me to solicit my help, Zoe would be going to jail today. Or worse.
“Famous last words,” he grumbles. “Out of curiosity, are you going to tell Miss Buckland about why you broke up with her? That you were protecting her?”
After explaining everything to her about my part in this mess, I’m also going to have to tell her what I am. That’s a whole other bucket of worms. Hopefully, she’ll understand and not count my species against me.
“I’m going to try. I’ll be keeping her with me today. You won’t have to worry about either of us gumming up the works.”
The silence has teeth. Finally, he says, “That won’t be possible, I’m afraid. Miss Buckland will be at the exchange.”
I’ve been leaning back on two legs of the chair. I send it crashing onto four. “Like hell she will.”
“That’s actually why I called you. I just heard from Tom Hardy, our informant at Rookwood.
As you know, we asked him a year ago to take Miss Buckland into his department.
We thought that would keep her out of any illegal transactions, but he tells me that the buggers have been forging her signature on documents.
Plus, both the Freemans and Roger Parks have insisted that your girl be there for the signoff.
But don’t worry. We’ll protect her. We know she’s just a patsy in all this. Tom Hardy confirmed it.”
“Who’s we? FBI? Or LFBI?” Because it matters. One will protect her with magick. One will rely on guns, which is nowhere near as comforting.
“We’re working in tandem. She’ll be fine.”
Famous last words. And just that suddenly, the blooming bright day turns black.
I stare out the window of the coffee shop into the sunny but chill autumn day as my mind blanks with panic.
A falling leaf dances in the breeze, telling me I should do likewise and just accept where the wind intends to take me.
That’s the Light Fae way. We go with the flow, not against it.
Yeah. That’s not happening.
I sacrificed everything to keep Zoe safe.
I sacrificed her. She’s the only person who ever reached deep into my soul, saw the dark sludge that even Light Fae carry, and loved me anyway.
Everyone else I’ve ever dated has loved me for my face and potential income, my raw power, but not her.
From the moment we met, she settled into my bones.
Even living without her these past twelve months, I haven’t truly felt alone because I knew she was out there, and that one day I could hope to get her back.
So, no. I’m not going to allow her to get hurt now. I’m too selfish to suffer such a loss.
After hanging up on the agent, I scoop up my laptop and dash out the door.
It’s a good couple miles to the port, but I don’t care.
I run the entire way, my breath hammering against my chest. Magick presses from inside me, wanting to help.
Ruthlessly, I suppress it. My vision swims but I keep going.
I know from working out that if I can pass the exhaustion point, I’ll be okay again.
Endorphins will take over, just like they do in Humans.
If I had full access to my magick, I could teleport through the ethers and be in place already. I could also burn this world with a too-large burst of energy, especially as my power has lain dormant for so long. It’s not a risk worth taking.
By the time I hit the port, cars and people are swarming.
Men with vests and guns are pointing and shouting.
I try to find Zoe and can’t. Panic swamps me until I see her on the ground, hands locked behind her head, cuffs being applied by a burly guy who has to outweigh her two-times over.
I stop and try to catch my breath, but the reminder that she’s probably safe won’t settle.
Without thinking, I begin to jog towards her until my arm is caught. I’m spun around, face to face with Jimson Thorne.
“Let go, Jim, or I swear to the dark sky...”
“Easy, Forest. Look. She’s being placed into a car. She wasn’t hurt and won’t be hurt. We’re taking her down to the station, but she won’t be processed, just questioned so that we can get her testimony. I’ll take you there with me now and you can wait for her outside the interrogation room.”