Chapter Four Finn #3
“I’m sorry, Zoe. Sorry for all of it. The worst part is, I would probably do it again in a similar situation. I would feel the same sense of panic and the burning need to keep you safe, and though I hate how I misled both you and Seraphina, I honestly can’t imagine doing anything differently.”
But instead of hating me as I expect, Zoe’s mouth trembles into a small smile. “You’re such a nice man. I forgot how nice over these past months. I only ever remembered how kind you were to me, personally.” She suddenly draws in a sharp breath. “Wait. Did you use a condom?”
“Each time.” Not that it matters. Light Fae don’t pick up illnesses. But I’m not ready to share that yet.
“Good.” She looks over my shoulder before returning her gaze to me. “So, to recap, you slept with your hot fiancé, a little because she was hot, and a little because you wanted to protect me.”
“And protect this realm—er, country. A lot because of you.”
“But you don’t love her?”
I shake my head. “No. And I’m sorry.”
She looks away to study the wall. “Yeah. It’s weird that somehow it makes me feel better that you’re sorry for not loving her, even though it also makes me really happy that you don’t, but the fact that I’m happy also makes me feel like a very bad person.”
“Don’t. You’re a wonderful person. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met.”
She looks at me again. “I’m not so sure about that, but we’ll put my goodness or badness aside for right now. What I need to know is... what about us? What happens now?”
My heart starts beating too fast again. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be to you.
Friend. Lover. Ex.” My heart hovers in my throat, knowing which one I need her to choose, but helpless to influence her after all I’ve done to destroy her.
“You choose our future, Zoe. However slow or fast you want us to move, whatever direction, I’ll be okay with it. ” I pause. “What do you want us to be?”
Shifting her legs, she stands. My stomach bottoms out until she extends her hand. I jump to my feet, almost queasy with relief as she says, “I want us to be together. I want your words to me to be real. I want to trust what I see in your eyes.”
“Is that all?”
She smiles. “I also want you to learn to brew a better cup of tea. Last night’s version had too much tannin from over-steeping.”
“Perfecting tea-brewing will be my first order or business, after loving you.”
Her smile slides as she searches my expression. “I’m probably a fool to trust you again, Finn. No one in her right mind would give you another chance.”
“Are you in your right mind?” I pull her closer, begging her to say no.
Her hands land flat against my chest. Her fingers dig into my muscles. “I guess I’m not. I tried so hard to forget you. I tried to move on, but after you left...”
“Can you put aside the Neanderthal for me?”
A sudden giggle escapes her. “The Neanderthal and I agreed that there wasn’t any spark.
There’s nothing to put aside.” Her smile falters again.
“If we’re going to be together, Finn, I need to be sure that you’ll discuss major life events with me before deciding on a course of action.
I need your word that you’ll communicate with me, and listen to what I have to say on the subject, especially before running off with the FBI to save the world. ”
“I promise.” Which leads me, inevitably, to the weightier discussion. “No running off with the FBI without telling you about it first.”
“But can I trust your promise?”
Slowly, I settle my shoulders. “Always. That’s who I am.”
“Honorable?” Her lips twitch again.
“I have to be. It’s the nature of my Kind, unless I wish to become Dark, which I don’t.
” This is it. This is the worst part. My grip on her tightens.
“The thing is, Zoe, what you need to know, what I haven’t told you, is that I’m not...
” My pause lasts too long. She tenses in my hold. Finally, I breathe, “Human.”
All of me crackles, waiting for the blow, either for her to run from me because she thinks I’m insane, or for her to tell me to go fuck myself because she thinks I’m playing with her.
Instead, my beautiful girl tilts her head to the side and studies me. “What are you, if not human?”
“Fae. Light Fae.”
“Fae, like a fairy?”
I can’t help wincing. “Pejorative term for more than one group of people. But yes, as you would know us, something akin to a fairy. Different realm, people and magick, though. They have wings. We have power.”
“Magic?”
“Mine is locked so that I can better pass in this realm and not... release... either by accident or intention. Release could prove hazardous.” My magick is aching to be free.
It seeps lightly from my skin. Normally, it’s content to lie fallow, waiting to be freed, but this day, with Zoe in danger, with the potential that she’ll send me away still very real, it’s hard to keep it behind bars.
One day, soon, I’m going to have to contact the authorities and have them top up the strength of the prison. But not right now. Now is for Zoe and me.
Her head tilts the other way and her hands smooth up my arms, testing my flesh. “Your ears. They’re pointed. They didn’t used to be so pointed.”
I nod.
“And you glow. I always thought you did, but in the way that people say pregnant women glow, or men in top physical condition glow. The light seems more obvious now. It’s like a line of body halo.”
“I need help containing my magick. This past year has worn down the restraints.”
One more head tilt as she looks the rest of me over before meeting my gaze again. “And Seraphina?”
“Dark Fae. The LFBI has been onto her father for centuries. They needed me to find tangible evidence of something—anything—to warrant locking them both up.” Or executing them, but that’s not my bailiwick, and I don’t want Zoe upset by thoughts of death.
“You said that before. LFBI. What is it?”
“Like your FBI, except working for my realm. Light Fae Bureau of Investigations, to be exact.”
“And you’re employed by them?”
“Not anymore. All I am as of this moment is a lawyer, very nearly Human, clawing his way up the ranks of Mergers and Acquisitions. I’m also the man who prays with everything in him that you’ll forgive him for each stupid thing that he’s done and marry him anyway, even if he doesn’t deserve such good fortune.
” Since she hasn’t run away, screaming, I wrap my arms around her and pull her tight against me.
“Forever. Always. I’m yours, Zoe, if you want me.
And by all I hold holy, I’ll never leave you again, unless you send me away. ”
A sudden teasing light enters her eyes. “That sounds like a proposal, Mr. Light Fae. Be careful or I’ll pack my bags for Vegas.”
I hadn’t intended to propose, not yet, but her teasing makes a whole lot of sense. Why wait for what I so desperately want? “I’ll help fill them. Your bags, I mean. Let’s go. Now. Make me an honest man.” I stroke her beautiful cheekbones. “Will you marry me, Zoe Buckland?”
Tears spring to her eyes as she nods. This time, there’s no sorrow in those crystal green depths. “I will.”
I lean down and capture her lips with my own. For the first time in months, I feel like I’m home.