Six
NAOMI
Getting more than catnaps allowed me to think…and do so with a clear mind. Paloma had been right when she said we needed some help, at least to get through these early weeks of broken days and nights.
I wanted to continue working at the lingerie boutique, which meant I needed to get comfortable with the idea and reality of someone else watching Felix for a few hours each day. Maybe more.
I needed to hire the right nanny right away.
How was I supposed to know if I’d picked the right person to care for my tiny little baby? I mean, I’d talk to them for maybe an hour or two, then I was supposed to offer them a job to watch my precious baby. My anxiety spiked.
“Breathe, sweetheart.” Adam’s arms caged me against the counter, his lips pressed to the wild pulse in my neck. “What’s the problem?”
Nope. I wasn’t going to let my worries win. I wasn’t. So I breathed in and out and then turned to face Adam so I could share my concern and come up with a solution.
“I’m afraid my instincts about nannies will prove terrible, and I’ll leave Felix with that chick in that nineties horror movie,” I said.
“Well, that’s an upsetting idea,” Adam grumbled, but didn’t dismiss my worst-case scenario out of hand. “I knew we shouldn’t have watched that movie.”
I shrugged. “It looked interesting…until it scared me all these years later.” I frowned. “Stupid movie.”
“That nanny was hot, which was problem number one. Clearly, we’re not leaving our son with a person hell-bent on vengeance,” Adam said.
I snuggled in closer, loving how his large body cradled mine. “Okay, good. We agree. No killing mom.”
“Fuck, no. I love this mom. She’s the hottest woman I’ve ever met.
” He pressed me backward so my ass pressed into the counter and his lips were against mine.
This kiss wasn’t the soft sweetness of joy or the tentative ones of flailing connection we’d given each other the past couple of weeks.
Adam kissed me with his tongue and teeth and made sure I knew he owned me… just as I owned him.
“Gross! Make it stop!” Mimi’s voice broke through my sensual haze. I lifted my head as she continued, “My eyes burn, and I’m not caffeinated. Stop mauling each other in front of the children.”
Felix’s little peep pulled me away from my potent husband.
“He slept,” I said with a delighted smile.
“The little demon did not,” Mimi said. With a glance, I took in her heavy-lidded eyes and the dark circles. Her expression softened with love. “I turned off the monitor upstairs so you could catch some shut eye, which I’m glad to know actually happened.” She sighed. “You got yourself a needy one.”
“Owen said I settled down once I knew I was safe. Maybe Felix needs the same reassurances,” Adam mused. He took a sip of his coffee as he contemplated us over the rim.
“Well, his auntie worked on that with hugs. And lots of rocking and singing, but mostly the hugs and holding him. Good thing he’s adorable because otherwise I might have to resent his desire to rave from one to five in the morning.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered. Still, I scooped him from my sister’s arms and hummed while I rocked my son.
This feeling that welled in me wasn’t euphoria or even contentment.
It wasn’t the wild passion I felt whenever Adam shot me that look, nor was it the overwhelm of knowing that I didn’t know enough to handle this situation—this beautiful life Adam and I had created.
It was all that and more, a maelstrom of emotions that were both much too big to fit within me and yet harnessed by and to me because of my baby and my husband.
I bit my lip, understanding what Millie, Keelie, and Paloma had been trying to articulate whenever they talked about families: I’d gone through something life-altering, and I would never, ever be the same.
As I looked down into the tiny face of my son, my sweet baby sister peering over my shoulder and Adam brushing his long, roughened finger against Felix’s downy cheek, I was okay with the upheaval and anxiety and lack of sleep and abject fear that I could never, ever be enough for any of them.
More than okay, and I…liked that feeling.
But Felix wasn’t in the mood for nurturing. He wanted a bottle now. Adam chuckled as he fixed our son’s meal, no doubt thinking that he could relate.
I loved my guys so much, and I needed to make sure Adam understood that.
Adam
Naomi seemed more grounded—almost, dare I say, happy—after getting some decent sleep.
Much as I wanted to believe she was on the road to wellness and health, my belief faltered.
One night wouldn’t fix our issues, so I needed to figure out how to show her how much she meant to me.
She’d given me so much. Not just in Felix, who I loved, but in herself.
She’d taught me the rest of the lessons that Owen had started. Naomi showed me love could be patient and kind, but also fiery passion and laughter and…and joy. She brought me joy. I wanted to do the same for her.
I thought I had a good way to do so…as long as Naomi didn’t think I overstepped. I considered the email message Clara, Naomi’s boss, had sent me last night. Yeah, I didn’t think I could circumvent Naomi because Clara came to me. Thrice now.
Time to make the leap.
Later this morning, we would start interviewing the nannies that Paloma had lined up—once we fed our sweet baby and hopefully settled Felix down for his first nap. We’d find balance for our son and ourselves so that we could all thrive.
Then, once she was comfortable with the new reality we were settling into as a family, I was going to rock her world. Hard.
Pleased with this decision, I offered to take Felix so that Naomi and Mimi could sit together and eat. His slight weight settled on my shoulder, and he slumped into a boneless position. I kissed his little brow, enjoying the feel of my son in my arms.
I brought Felix down the stairs and into the living room, where Naomi and the first caregiver candidate were chatting. Naomi had a list of questions she’d crafted after she called the CATS this morning, and I liked seeing her take charge over her concerns.
That’s why this woman was such a bad ass. She admitted to her fears but did what she could to overcome them. I hoped Felix was more like his mom in that respect; it had taken me making yet another dumb mistake yesterday to see I was hiding from my worries.
Thankfully, Naomi forgave me my stupidity, but being more open, admitting I had fears, was something I needed to be better at. Like drills in hockey, I’d practice.
Solid plan. Implementation would be slow. That was okay because I could grow and do—be—better for my wife and son.
“So…he’ll be home all day?” Joanna asked. She was a few years older than Owen, I’d bet, which put her in her mid-fifties. She had a sweet face and a pleasant smile, but something about that question put me on edge. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, listening.
“No. Adam works with the Wildcatters to help with the current athletes’ conditioning, so he’ll be at the facility when the team is in town. On those days, it’s a typical workday—”
“But the other days he’ll be here?” Joanna persisted.
“Is there a problem with my husband being around during the day in his home?” Naomi asked. I smiled as I rested my cheek against Felix’s downy head. Joanna was going to get it…
“Well, yes. He’ll mess up my routine—”
Owen texted me. How’s the nanny search going?
I replied, more slowly than usual, because I only used one hand. Not great. Thanks for asking. You want to visit us next month? Naomi wants you to meet Felix.
Hell yeah! Sally and I would love that.
Then, a moment later, Owen texted me again.
I have a suggestion for your nanny situation.
I frowned, surprised by Owen’s interest…until I realized that Felix was the closest thing he’d ever have to a grandson. My brother was a protector and a doer. Of course, he wanted to be involved—even from a distance.
“I believe you mean Felix’s routine. Not yours. We’re talking about Felix, Adam and my child, and we, as his parents, will be the ones setting up his routine.”
This was the fiery side of Naomi that turned me on. When she felt I—and now Felix—had been wronged, she became protective and fierce, revealing the fiery side of her personality that turned me on.
Joanna realized, too late, that she’d pissed Naomi off, and she sputtered an apology. Naomi waited her out and then showed her to the door with a polite firmness I found compelling—and sexy as fuck. I offered Joanna my most sober expression and a head tilt as she passed me.
The door shut with a soft thud and Naomi turned toward me, her expression heated.
“Who does she think she is? I’m Felix’s mother, not her.
We set the routine and the parameters, not her.
” She stepped closer to me, and I pulled her against my free side, enjoying the soft snuggle of her curves against me.
“Thank you, next,” I said, nuzzling into her neck.
“Damn straight next,” Naomi growled.
The change in Naomi’s tone caused Felix to squirm and fuss.
“Sorry, baby. Mommy got a bit territorial over you. Well, more than a bit, but it’s okay…we’re going to eat and then we’ll have a nice swing or snuggle, whatever you want.” Naomi plucked Felix from my arms and continued to talk to him while she made a bottle.
The next candidate was younger than either of us or in awe of my former fame. I was uncomfortable from the moment she gazed at me with wide-eyed adoration until the door closed on her backside that I refused to look at. Couldn’t be as good as my wife’s ass, which was definitely the world’s finest.
My phone pinged. I pulled it out to see that Owen wrote: I have a friend in the area, Ashley. From my platoon. Has all the requisite degrees and certifications but is older—like me.
I don’t think that would be a problem. First nanny candidate was older than you. Not gonna work. Second was too young—and too much a fan girl. Not gonna fly.