69. Caelia
Kat enters the kitchen.Her beautiful features transform into an embarrassed look. She takes a seat in front of me and rubs her hands.
“I apologize for everyone’s behavior last night,” she says, skipping the usual pleasantries.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Kat,” I assure her.
“I do,” she insists. “I know it didn’t seem like I was on your side, but I am.”
“Thank you, but Kaz is already arguing with his family because of me. I don’t want anyone else to do the same.”
“Our grandpa is very fond of traditions. No one in the Mordvinov family has ever married a foreigner, and he didn’t think he would see it happen during his lifetime. I’m sure he’ll come around and grow to like you.”
I appreciate her reassuring me, but she doesn’t have to. I feel terrible because I know I won’t stay here long enough to make all this trouble worth it. Vanya’s dislike of me and their grandfather’s disdain for foreigners are understandable.
“Kaz told me about Mattia,” she adds, breaking the tension.
I know he did. He didn’t want me to be caught off guard, so he told me his sister knew about their stepbrother, whom she’d never gotten a chance to meet. She knows I was his wife, and I was caught up in Kaz’s revenge plan. He didn’t go into details about my life with Mattia, which made me fall in love with him even more. Kaz is pouring himself into my heart, drop by drop until all my feelings spill over.
“I wish I could say that I’m sorry for your loss, but the truth is, he was a horrible person, and I’m glad he’s dead,” I say.
“I understand that. This situation must be difficult for you, leaving everything behind to follow my brother.”
“The only hard part is that my sister thinks that I’m dead.” I force a smile. “I’m not close with the rest of my family, and I love your brother, so it wasn’t a tough choice.”
It seemed like a tough choice at first. I thought I was trading one prison for another, but being with Kaz has shown me a different side of him. He’s been revealing who he truly is, and it’s not someone I’ll easily leave behind.
I love your brother.
I said it because it felt right, like what Kat would want to hear. But is it a lie? The words haven’t burned my tongue.
“I hope that one day it will be safe for you to speak with your sister again,” Kat says, her tone filled with empathy.
“Kaz doesn’t think it’s safe just yet. Maybe one day, but I don’t want to burden her with this secret now. Her family comes first, and she has children for whom she would do anything. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to her because of me.”
Kaz won’t change his mind, and I understand his concerns. It’s unsafe for me to contact Cosima until things calm down in New York. Ermanno’s brother has taken over the family business, and they’re trying to make peace since they don’t have the workforce to start a war after Kaz destroyed almost everything. I know Cosima is safe. I refused to take Kaz’s word for it, so he had someone follow her for me. I’ve seen photos and videos of her with the children, playing in the park, and shopping, and I understand why it’s safer to let everyone think I’m dead. Mattia did me a favor once in his life.
“I hope it will be safe for you to visit me in New York one day.”
“I hope so, too,” I reply with a smile just as Kaz enters the kitchen.
“There’s my beautiful wife and my annoying little sister.” He smirks, heading my way.
I tilt my head as he stops by my side, leaning forward to kiss me without care until Kat clears her throat, reminding us that we’re not alone in the room. We’re playing our roles as a married couple perfectly, but deep down, I know neither of us is pretending anymore.
“How about we borrow Kaz’s credit card and go shopping?” Kat suggests, breaking the moment.
“Sounds like a plan.” I laugh, still longing for Kaz’s touch.
He steps behind my chair, rubbing my shoulders, and I can’t help but lean into his touch.
“What do I get out of this?” he asks playfully.
“You’ll make your wife and sister happy,” Kat suggests.
“Take Dmitri with you,” he adds, handing me one of his credit cards. “I’ll be in meetings all day, but you have fun.”
“See you for dinner,” I reply.
“Call me if you need anything, zhizn moya. Meetings or not, you’re my top priority,” he says, placing a kiss on the top of my head.
Kat waits until he’s gone before she speaks again, a knowing grin on her lips.
“He’s madly in love with you.”
“What?” I ask, my voice betraying my confusion.
“Come,” she says, gesturing for me to follow. “I’ll tell you everything you need to know about my brother.”
My heart aches. I’m going to be sick. My mind is flooded with images of Kaz and a faceless woman he’ll fall madly in love with—someone who’s not me. How happy he’s going to be, how I’m never going to see him again, how I’ll never wake up in his arms again, and how I’ll never stare into the eyes that make me feel at home. It hurts me physically, and the feeling is too much to bear.
I’m madly in love with him, too.
But I can’t tell him that.