Chapter 26
Ella
Thursday
I didn’t know what to say.
Maybe my reaction hadn’t been the best.
Miles had said something that lingered in the air. Sweet and honest. But it froze me. I felt the pressure to say something back. But I couldn’t. Nothing came out.
I didn’t understand how he could even be considering whether to take the scholarship or not. It was a great opportunity for his future. He couldn’t stay. He just couldn’t.
We sat there silently for a few more minutes. I wasn’t going to leave him alone. But I also didn’t want to interrupt the stillness and the quiet he needed.
I knew his mother had had many boyfriends, and that Miles never really liked any of them, including this man, Ben. Maybe he was right not to. Or maybe he would never like seeing his mom with any man who wasn’t his dad. That was common for a lot of children.
I waited for him to share more about the day, to guide me in understanding everything that had made him so angry.
His green, unreadable eyes wouldn’t look at me.
We had stopped the scholarship conversation.
Different things were really upsetting him, and I felt I wasn’t getting to the heart of them.
But then his eyes were distracted by the bouquet of flowers sticking out of my tote bag, with a little tag that had “Prom?” written on it.
He glanced at me, then stared at the flowers again.
“You got asked to prom?”
“I did,” I said, hesitantly.
“By who?” He sounded disappointed, but not surprised.
“Nathan,” I answered. And he nodded slowly a few times, as if taking time to process it.
His eyes dropped to the floor.
“I’ve got to go.” He got up quickly, suddenly standing.
“Miles, I understand you—”
“No, you don’t understand!” he snapped at me.
“Your life is perfect. In your perfect house, with your perfect family, and a perfect future plan. All balanced and the same as you’ve always known it.
You don’t understand impermanence, unsteadiness, difficulties.
You live in a perfect, flowery—” he pointed at my bouquet, clearly more upset now, “—fairy, imaginary world! Because you’re so perfect and so naive. Guess what? That’s not the real world!”
I got up too and stared at him, dismayed, holding back the tears in my eyes.
But nothing.
“I was ready to sit here all day next to you,” I said, coolly. “But maybe you need to work this out on your own.”
My back turned to him, and my legs started walking away. A lump formed in my throat as tears rolled slowly down my cheeks.
Miles had never talked to me like that. I didn’t know what had gotten into him. He’d gone too far with his tone. He’d gone too far with his words.
He was being cruel.
But what hurt me the most was when he stopped talking, and I stared at his face. Those seconds of silence. Looking into each other’s eyes. He didn’t seem the slightest bit sorry for what he had just said. He stood there, hurting me. Ruthlessly and coldly.
And I wasn’t going to stand there listening to it.