Chapter Four Ivan #3
“It comes with being a stubborn dragon.”
“We broke up. There shouldn’t be any confusion. It’s been three years.”
I tilted my head, still gazing at her. It was almost cruel how much of a hold on me that her eyes had, even when angry. “Three years is nothing. There are married couples separated for longer. Just because you leave doesn’t mean you’re not mine.”
She pressed her cheeks in with her hands, bright eyes wide. “No, that’s exactly what it means. Did something happen to you, up here, when I left?” She pointed to her head. “It can’t all be your dragon nature.”
I picked up my drink again. “You underestimate how tightly we hold on. However, I think we both know that I’ve always been a tinge off all my life. But, as I recall, you loved my quirks.”
“Yes, when it didn’t involve you thinking that we were still together these past several years.
Especially after what happened.” I opened my mouth to interject, but she continued.
“My suggestion is that we go through with the marriage, but then naturally break it off after an acceptable amount of time. Perhaps a few years at best. By then, maybe they’ll be done with these forced marriages.
They can’t do this forever without a revolt.
And we don’t have to really be a couple, of course.
It’ll all be for show. We can sleep separately.
I only have a one bedroom, but maybe we can lease something with two bedrooms, if it’s the same with you.
You can even see whoever you want, as long as you keep it discreet.
We can do things together a couple times a month to maintain appearances.
Most importantly, I don’t expect you to do this for free, even though it wouldn’t look good for you to back out now either.
I can give you some payment for it. I have access to funds I hid before leaving Nodoor. ”
I was not surprised that she would have a plan.
She was always methodical. Except for this situation, which only served to show how desperate she had been to avoid marrying that fae.
It made me even angrier that she was even put in that situation.
I was also annoyed that she was even offering to pay me.
Her dismissiveness at my reaction to our separation was borderline hurtful.
How could we get to a marriage when we had so much unfinished business with what happened all those years ago.
We simply weren’t aligned, and I couldn’t ignore that.
“Well, I see you have it all planned out.”
She finally looked back at me, her face remorseful.
“Look, I’m sorry I got you into all of this.
I think this is the best outcome for this mess I made.
Will you take the deal or not? And this is not us rekindling anything.
This is strictly an arrangement, so whatever delusions you are living with are going to have to work itself out before we get married.
Otherwise, I can always run off to another kingdom and start over again. ”
I crossed my arms and considered her. The idea of being with her again, even in a false capacity, made my stomach tighten with excitement.
I had no problem with telling a tiny lie if just to be in her presence again.
She didn’t have to know that I would attempt at every opportunity to show her that we were meant to be together.
At the very least, this could be fun. At the very most, I could have my heart ripped out again.
I would be the only one getting hurt, and I accepted that risk.
It came with my tinge of crazy. I also had confidence that I would regain her heart.
I would not be a dragon who lost his treasure. At least not again.
Still, before I gave her an answer, I was owed one of my own. “Before I answer, I have to know something. What happened that night?”
She frowned. “What night?”
I rolled my eyes, annoyed with her false confusion.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.
The night you fucking broke – insisted on a separation.
” I said that harder than I meant to. I knew the reality.
That we’d broken up. But if I was going to win her back then living in denial made it easier.
Fake it until you make it. I didn’t want to appear weak.
But the truth was, even after all these years, I was still haunted by that night.
She lowered her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
“I guess it doesn’t matter now. My parents hated you.
Well, hate you. I’m sure the feeling hasn’t changed.
You knew this. But what you didn’t know was what lengths they would go through to break us apart.
It was more than removing my inheritance.
They planned to kill you. And there was nothing I could do to change their minds.
I couldn’t report them; I had no proof. Not that I wanted to put my family in prison. ”
I frowned, staring down at my hands in disbelief.
I knew they wanted me gone from Jalisa but not that they were so desperate they’d have me killed.
The thought made my stomach sour. I wasn’t a bad guy.
I wasn’t rich, but I was respected in a good level position in the military.
I treated Jalisa well, and we were comfortable and happy together.
It could have been worse. I didn’t deserve death.
She looked up at me with sorrowful eyes, and I was thankful to at least see she was sad about the whole thing. “Ivan, I broke it off because I was trying to protect you. I couldn’t stop them from killing you, and the resources my family had would have prevented you from doing anything.”
“I was military.”
She shook her head. “And they are high nobles with powerful friends, and you know how corrupt Nodoor was before the war ended. They could have grabbed you and dumped you somewhere never to be heard of again.”
I sighed, knowing she was right. I’d seen corrupt leaders make such things happen. I was military, but I wasn’t all powerful. I was just a pawn to be used, especially as a dragon. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth? Why lie?”
She gave me a tired smile, and I could see this hadn’t been an easy decision for her. That made me feel a little less shitty. “Ivan, if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t have gone away. You would have stayed and gotten killed.”
“We could have run off together.”
“They would have found us.”
“They haven’t found you yet.”
She pursed her lips, agitated by my persistence.
“They didn’t just threaten you. They threatened to kill your family and friends if we ran off together.
They also mentioned your family trying to kill me, too.
That it was all too dangerous for us to stay together and that our families could never be united, although they refused to further discuss the reason. ”
I glared at her. “That’s nothing my family would do.”
She snorted. “Of course, you wouldn’t believe they would. You’ve always thought your family was perfect. I understand the plight of dragons, but not all of them are innocent. And the few times I got to see your family, because they never invited me to any functions, they weren’t the nicest.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “They were nicer than your family.” I was not helping the situation, I knew it, but I couldn’t stop myself from speaking. A problem I was minimally working on.
She looked away, shaking her head. “You’ve always seen what you wanted to see, Ivan.
Anyway, I believed my family. Maybe that was silly, but they were quite convincing.
I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, even if it wasn’t us.
Therefore, I lied to make you feel small and inadequate.
I played on all your insecurities about being working class so you would hate me and not fight the breakup. ”
I tilted my head back, closing my eyes briefly and remembering that awful night. “I didn’t believe you at first.”
“I know, you live in your own reality at times.” Her eyes darkened, lips flexing in a slight soundless snarl, and I knew what was coming next.
“But then you did. And you got over me super quickly with another female, so maybe it was all an act to put up a fight for me. Which is why I don’t believe your whole land of delusion about us just being separated. ”
I heard the bitterness in her voice, and it pained me.
“It wasn’t like that. I was hurting. I thought I’d lost you, and I got drunk.
So drunk that I couldn’t get myself home and another soldier at the pub I frequented took me home.
She was putting me on the bed and stumbled on top of me.
I won’t lie and say it was totally innocent.
I think she had a crush on me; she’d been flirting with me for some time. ”
Jalisa crossed her arms, giving me an icy stare. “And you were now single, drunk, and vulnerable. Her lucky day. At least until I showed up.”
“No, it’s good you showed up. Or I would have done something I would have regretted even more. I wasn’t totally innocent. I was angry and being reckless. But why did you come back after you broke it off?”
Her face was now less hard, and she was staring intently at the food.
I knew I’d hurt her when she walked in on us but, was she still in pain?
Her coldness toward me now made me believe that she no longer cared.
Was I wrong? My heart sped up as I waited for her answer, finding myself hoping for a response that would give me some hope even after all this time.
She waved her hand at the food. “It’s getting cold. We should really eat.”
I shifted in my seat, growing restless. “You should really answer my question.”
She looked up at me with raised brows, shocked at my attitude. “Stubborn. Fine. I came back because I realized my mistake.”
“What changed your mind?”