Chapter Four Ivan #4
I noticed she was massaging the knuckles of her right hand.
I recalled her doing that a lot when we were together.
At first, I thought it was a nervous habit but later learned it was because her joints ached.
They would inflame from time to time, sometimes the pain was brought on by stress.
I imagined that this was a stressful discussion, hell, situation.
I felt bad and thought that maybe I should let it go for now but my curiosity, pain, was too great.
Jalisa looked up at the ceiling and began to massage the knuckles of her other hand.
“When I called it off, I went back home, you remember I was staying with my parents. Later that evening, for dinner, a guest arrived. A noble alpha who my parents had wanted me to marry. He was from a very powerful family and my father kept mentioning how a joining of our families and businesses would make us all rise in status. I didn’t want him, though.
I wanted you.” She began to rub her right arm.
I got up and moved to a seat close to her, unable to do nothing as I watched her go through her ritual to ease her pain. “Can I?”
She gave me a distrustful glare, eyes narrowing. “I’m fine.”
I rolled my eyes. And she said I was stubborn. “You are not fine. I used to give you massages all the time and you said they were the best. Which makes sense because I’m the best at everything.”
She snorted. “I should never have given you a compliment. You think enough of yourself on your own.” She pointed her arm in my direction. “Fine.”
I grinned and began to massage her upper arm, and I could see her instantly relax, her shoulders slumping. I still had the magic touch. “So, about this noble, what happened at the dinner?”
Her body tensed, undoing my good work. “I told them I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to date anyone. I was so sad. I could barely see through the tears clouding my eyes and here they were putting some uptight fart in front of my face.”
I chuckled. “I am hard to replace.”
She cut her eyes at me. “I didn’t say that.
But things were still fresh, and they didn’t care.
And they didn’t trust me not to change my mind because they had a plan.
An ugly one.” I moved to her other arm, remaining silent.
“We went to the sitting room to have after dinner coffee, tea, and dessert. They gave me the option to say yes, and when I didn’t, they made the choice for me.
I still remember the look my father gave to that fae.
It was angry, and he nodded once. He took my mother and they left the room, closing the door behind them.
This was preplanned. I was so confused and still not in the best frame of mind.
And before I could understand what was happening, the noble had jumped up and lunged at me.
He grabbed me by the arms, knocking me back on the couch.
And then he bared his teeth and tried to bite me. ”
She moved to touch her neck with her free hand, but I could see no bite.
Anger surged through me, and it took all my control to maintain steady pressure on her arm.
“I can still hear my mother screaming on the other side of the door, trying to get in. I guess my father wouldn’t let her.
I don’t know if she was part of the plan or knew it would get to that level.
I felt his teeth sink into my skin, the pain.
It felt like knives.” She shook her head.
“But I kicked him off me before he could complete the bite and claim me. Then I ran out the room, using my magic to knock my father out of the way. I didn’t even stop to talk or yell at my parents.
I just ran for my life. I was scared, angry, confused.
How could they force a claiming on their own daughter?
I feel sick just thinking about it again. ”
“What was this noble’s name?” I growled, already plotting how I would get away with murder.
She glanced at me, a look of sad resignation on her face.
“It doesn’t matter. He didn’t claim me, and I’m safe.
But after what they tried to do to me, I didn’t care about their threats anymore.
I just wanted to be with someone who really loved me.
Someone who wouldn’t betray me or hurt me.
Someone who understood how being considered less than in society could make you so powerless. ”
I paused the massage. “So, you ran back to me.”
She moved her arm back to her side, leaning back as if to get away from me. “And found you in bed with her. The people I loved the most had turned their backs on me. Or so I thought. And I knew I was in danger, having run off like that from my family.”
I grabbed her hand, and I could feel her slightly try to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her go.
Not again. I wanted more, but I would take my time.
For now. “I ran after you. I fucking chipped a tooth when I fell going after you because I was so drunk. When I first saw you come back, I thought I was hallucinating it. Then it dawned on me you were really there, and I got up. But you are fast, and by the time I made it to the road, you were gone. Shit, I’m so sorry, love. ”
This time, she successfully moved her hand away and stood up, turning her back on me, but I still caught that look of uncertainty on her face. I could work with that. The door was open a crack for me.
She continued. “So, I kept running, all the way to Prinath. I was able to get refugee status. I had to go through magic testing because they didn’t trust me at first. They wanted me to share secrets, but I never had that kind of knowledge.
Not that I wouldn’t have shared if I did.
I was so bitter, I had no loyalty to Nodoor anymore.
It took a year before I could freely move about Prinath without someone by my side. Since then, I’ve been a citizen.”
I was a mix of emotion. Frustrated because of the misunderstanding tearing us apart all these years. Guilt for getting drunk and having someone take me home, who I knew had ulterior motives. Angry at her family and that asshole alpha for putting her in that situation.
“Are you still angry with me?” I asked in a quiet voice.
She turned sideways to glance at me. “I don’t know. I’ve been upset for so long it seems weird to feel differently. But it’s also silly to stay mad. It was my family that caused this, and I should have told you the truth. Although, are you sure you didn’t encourage that fae in some way?”
I stood up, moving closer to her. “So where does that leave us now?”
She shrugged, turning fully to me. “I don’t know. Neither of our families wanted us together. Things wouldn’t go back to normal just because time passed.”
I reached out to her and traced the back of her arm with my finger. She shivered, despite her best effort to remain unaffected by me. “Well, we’re both here and they aren’t. As long as they don’t know we’re together, things might be better.”
She considered me for a moment, something like hope in her eyes, but then she let out a breath. “I don’t know, Ivan. Things are different now. I’m different.”
“How?”
She looked away again, and I knew that she was not telling me something. What had happened to her here? “Our situation isn’t the same anymore, Ivan. I have to process everything we talked about and some other stuff.”
I rubbed her arm, watching her relax into me despite her words. I took pleasure in the fact that she seemed to enjoy my touch. Had anyone else affected her this way? I only wanted it to be me. “I won’t let you down again.”
“Although I’m still not sure I believe you’re as innocent about that night as you say, it’s not that.”
“Fine, let’s move in small steps. Starting with me agreeing to marry you.” And trying to win her back, but I would leave that part out.
She chuckled. “You and I have different definitions of small steps. But thank you. This means a lot that you’re helping me.”
Of course I would help her. Time had passed, but my heart hadn’t changed. And I would do everything I could to show her that.