Chapter 14
HEX
“I never realized you were such a pig, Captain,” Xan huffs, reaching over me to grab a few candy bar wrappers off the flight deck control panel.
I left them there right after I stress ate a handful of evilly delicious chocolate candies. “You know I can get a little sloppy when I’m not expecting visitors.”
“This goes beyond a little sloppy. It looks like you were trying to construct a perfect habitat for Earth-flies to buzz around in.”
“Xan, I’m flying,” I growl, as I try to focus on nothing but searching for traces of the other scoutship’s movements. “Just leave the mess and I’ll clean it later.”
“Just because you’re fine with flying around in a trash can, doesn’t mean I am,” Xan mutters as he tosses the wrappers in a garbage bag, then leans down to gather torn up pieces of paper that are strewn across the floor.
“I can see why you didn’t want to pick me up and let me come with you.
I wouldn’t want anyone else to know that I travel this way either. ”
“It wasn’t about that! I wanted to go alone because I wanted to get straight to searching for our little human.
” I’m not ashamed of what I’ve done with the precious scraps of alone time I’ve gotten since traveling to this sector of this galaxy.
Sometimes, to stay sane and tolerate all of my responsibilities, I just need to let my inner slob come out.
“Rushing headlong into danger, or any type of emergency on your own, is as out of character for you as this untidiness is. I understand that you’re concerned about Jay, but…
you don’t seem like yourself.” Xan picks up the last torn piece of paper and inspects it like it’s the answer for why I’m not myself.
The page it came from would definitely shine a light on what I’m secretly going through. I wrote a letter on it, because I didn’t want a digital one to be flagged in our system, and alert the Council to what had been going on with me and Jay.
I wrote the letter to him while I was trying to snack away my stressful feelings. It had a dozen apologies in it, asking him to forgive me for giving into my tortured longings. Being so weak and selfish is not how I wanted him to see me when he’s on the verge of returning to Earth.
“Of course I’m not my fucking self, Xan.” I growl louder this time, louder than I meant to, as my aura flows black. “Our little human will be leaving the Derecko any day now. Putting nanoparticles in him was your way of trying to cope with that, and this is mine.”
“Fair enough,” Xan says, putting down the garbage bag and taking a seat beside me, just as we receive an unexpected call.
“Greetings, Captain Henrix. I am the version of Numbers who is assigned to your Mars project. The Derecko’s Numbers has connected me with your ship.
I am contacting you because Commander Braxton sent us a message, saying he is paying us a visit soon, so he can inspect recent fixes you’ve done to our transportation system.
But I was under the impression you would perform those inspections, after your latest recon mission. ”
So that’s where Braxton and Jaxus have gone.
Why—in the name of the stars—would the commander take our little one there?
“Hello, Other Numbers,” I say, as Xan and I share a look. “Sorry for not updating you on the change of plans. I asked the commander to go for me, but I think it would be best if I still assist with the inspection—if I have time. If I do, I’ll let him know about this other change in plans, okay?”
“Sure thing, Captain.”
“Well, now we know where they’re going,” I say, relief thick in my voice.
“And since they’re sending transmissions to Mars Numbers just fine, they both must be fine too, or Braxton would have sent a distress message.
If they parked the ship near Mars before their arrival, is it possible the cloaking technology we placed over the planet has made Jay’s nanos malfunction? ”
“Perhaps,” Xan says. “Any sort of invasive tech could be treated as hostile by its defense capabilities, since it has the potential to be removed from a visitor, and implanted in someone who is stationed there. Those nanos are very powerful technology, but so is our cloaking tech. Too powerful to be gifted to humans for your little side project, if you ask me.”
“It’s not just some little side project,” I argue. “Well, it might be to our kind but it’s a big project for Earthlings, which is why it’s highly classified. Jaxus should not be there.”
Xan looks bored as he stretches his arms. “Well, I’m glad they’re okay, and we both got worked up for nothing.”
“This isn’t nothing.”
Xan looks to me, lifting an eyebrow when he notices my aura is still black.
“Jaxus has already heard plenty about the project on Mars, and despite how often he chooses to behave like one, he’s not a total fool.
He won’t tell anyone on Earth about things he sees at a covert research base that most Earthlings don’t even know exists. ”
“What he sees there could still cause trouble for him. The place is full of secrets. Secrets the Council doesn’t even know. I don’t want Jaxus to get mixed up in any of the lies I’ve told them.”
“Is that so?” he says curiously, looking less confused by my aura now. “You are full of surprises today, Captain.”
“You have no idea, Doctor.” I bow my head briefly and give it a shake, trying to clear it. “No idea how far I’ve gone beyond what I thought I was capable of.”
“Does Braxton know, or have you kept him in the dark as well?”
“He knows a little more, but not much. I fear he has taken Jay to meet some friends of ours who are living on Mars—and he has no way of knowing the potential consequences we could face because of that decision.”
“So you’ve lied to the Council, members of your crew who have nothing to do with this project, such as myself—and even the one member who you asked to assist you with it.” Tension grows so strong between us I swear I can feel it in my bones. “Would you care to explain why?”
“I did it for Jay. For his future.”
“And how does keeping secrets about a human project help Jay?” He stares hard at me as I shift uncomfortably in my chair.
“It’s best if you don’t know.”
“All the same—you will tell me, Captain!” Xan barks, his aura suddenly showing itself as dark tendrils, twisting around him like oil spilling in purple waters.
“There are many things you may be able to keep me in the dark about, as my superior, but I will not tolerate you keeping information that could be so important for Jaxus from me. If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I swear to you, I will go to the humans and offer to aid them with this project, just as you did when they started it, so I can find out for myself. ”
“The humans didn’t start it—I did,” I admit, so tired of all the lies I’ve told lately.
At this moment, I don’t have it in me to tell another.
“We pretended it was all about top secret research, so I could get the Council’s approval to tell the humans we wouldn’t monitor it in any way—and would even provide cloaking technology, so we couldn’t spy on them even if we wanted to. ”
“And the Council only agreed to that because they believed you,” Xan says with a confused look on his face. “Why would you want to help the humans hide something from them?”
“Because it was the only way I could get the humans to agree to us terraforming Mars for them,” I explain. “That’s the true project: to create a backup planet for Earthlings. I’m sure you can understand why they would like to keep that a secret for now.”
“But they don’t have the technology to create a backup planet without us. If that was something they admitted they‘d like to possess, you should have used that as leverage to get them to stop treating us like we’re their enemy.”
“They would have refused if we tried to force a stronger alliance on them—and I couldn’t let them do that. I couldn’t let Jay live on a planet that doesn’t have a backup plan. I would never neglect his safety like that.”
“An adequate explanation,” Xan says grudgingly. “But why wouldn’t you communicate that to Braxton, if you were going to get him mixed up in this?”
“I didn’t want to get his hopes up.”
“His hopes?” Xan repeats. “What does this have to do with—”
“My hope was that the success of this project could change our relationship with humans. That they would have more trust in us if we could deliver on such a big promise. Their leaders said they would reveal the secret to their world if we succeeded, and if our relations improved because of that—if they became grateful that we came to their planet—”
“They may no longer disapprove of us making Jaxus our hybrid mate.”
“Yes. That was my hope.”
Xan’s aura begins to lighten, and I can tell that is his hope as well now. “How soon will the project reach completion?”
“I estimate, in about seven years, I will be able to use it to change human hearts and minds about us. And after securing a new, deeper alliance, I will tell the Council about my lies and beg for forgiveness.”
“I suspect they will forgive you, if you secure a new alliance,” Xan says, nodding to himself as he continues thinking it over. “I like your plan, Captain, but it has one major flaw: it is too fucking slow.”
“Which is why I didn’t want Jaxus, or you, or Braxton to know about it.
But Jaxus especially. I didn’t want him to waste that much time on the Derecko, living without a mate and with an uncertain future, while we would have all probably grown more cold to him, avoiding our little human as our desire to break the rules and join with him would grow stronger. ”
A flash of guilt twists Xan’s features. I squint at him, but don’t comment on it.
“So, I thought it would still be best for his next seven human years to be spent on Earth,” I explain.
“Giving him a chance to make it his home again, and to experience all the things it has to offer a young human man. But I have never given up on the idea of winning back his heart and making him a hybrid, one day, when the humans will no longer take offense to us joining.”
“And what a beautiful day that will be,” Xan says. “I propose we find a way to make it come quicker.”