Chapter 28 #2
Swallowing hard, Chuck shrugged. “Yeah, I’m sure you think you are. Well, let’s feel what it would be like to go inside and re-bandage this cut.”
Letting go quickly as if her skin had scalded him, Malachi snatched his hands back.
Chuck lurched forward slightly, no longer being supported.
She frowned, perhaps realizing her words had caused his reaction.
Nodding in silence, he turned off the car and exited, hurrying to her door to offer a hand she didn’t need but accepted anyway.
He wasn’t even sure she would take his hand, knowing how poorly he had misread her.
He’d begun to think she wanted him in more than a sexual way before tonight, that she cared for him and wanted his feelings in return.
But the way she’d pulled back from him, he figured seeing his demon form earlier must have changed her mind.
Maybe she was trying to let him down gently.
Confusion swirled through him, causing a deep ache in the pit of his stomach.
I completely suck at reading women, he thought in disgust. His inner voice quietly corrected him, not all women, just this one.
Shushing his reasonable side, he steadied her and helped her into the house.
When she didn’t move fast enough for his liking, he simply scooped her in his arms and carried her to the bathroom, ignoring her protests.
Dodging Reena and her worried yips as she trotted underfoot, he deposited Chuck on the edge of the counter by the sink.
“Mal,” she started, huffing out an irritated breath and shoving a hand through her soft brown hair. “I can clean up a simple cut.” She insisted in exasperation, making him feel like he must be nagging her.
“Not this one,” he snapped, his embarrassment and irritation about having rejected feelings causing him to be shorter than necessary. Her expression almost mirrored his own frustration.
Teeth grinding and eyes narrowed, a grimace stretched her lips as she poked him in the chest. “I’ve had more cuts than I care to admit. What’s so special about this one?” she demanded.
“The blade,” he explained, trying to remain patient.
“It’s designed to bypass your angelic defenses and wound the way an Earthbound blade couldn’t.
The bleeding may have stopped, but your grace is still escaping.
” His voice was flat and cold. Detached as he tried to create distance between himself and the nearly overwhelming urge to hold her tightly.
“How do you know?” she retorted, her voice full of irritation as well. “I don’t see anything.”
Slamming his hands to the counter on each side of her, his eyes flared with flames, and he growled.
“Because I can fucking see it. Demon, remember? Not of this world. Different, ugly, scary. I may not be capable of saying some words, but I can see fucking angel grace when it’s smearing around like a slaughterhouse. ”
“What the hell, Mal?” she shook her head. “So, bandage it up and let’s move on with it. Why are you so wound up?”
Trying to keep from yelling, he closed his eyes, focusing his power until his hands started glowing.
Gently laying them on her skin, he kept his thoughts trained on closing the metaphysical wound and not on how soft she was.
When he finished closing the laceration, his hands dropped to his side like lead weights, and he stared at her.
“All healed. Now it’s just an ordinary cut so you can clean it and put as many bandages as you want on it.
And you may think I don’t have real feelings or that I know what it means to give up your life for another person, but reality check, Officer Charles.
I do have real feelings. Very strong ones when it comes to you.
I’m sorry if that’s inconvenient for your plans in life.
I can fix that burden easily enough. I’ll just go back to being the creature you think of me as. ”
Stepping back, ignoring her wide-eyed stare, he shimmered and shifted into his canine form. Shrugging off the clothing still clinging to his body, he picked it up in his jaws and carried it off to his room, where he nudged the door shut with his snout.
“Malachi!” she called after him, her voice thick, full of shock. “No, Mal, that’s not what I meant!”
Shifting back to lock the door, he leaned his head on the wood and squeezed his eyes closed.
He hated the sound of pain in her tone, but he couldn’t risk himself or even her this way.
It was better that she only thought of him as an animal until Hyacinth called him back to kill him.
Was it easier to bury a pet than a friend or lover?
He wasn’t sure. He’d never had either before.
Maybe he could fake his death, like a sudden seizure, so Chuck wouldn’t have to explain the disappearance of her partner.
Then they could have a clean break. In fact, he would do that at the station the next day.
With witnesses, it was no fault of hers.
He banged his head on the door once and groaned.
Turning to the bed, he stumbled towards it and threw himself down face-first.
After a few minutes, he heard whimpering and scratching at the door.
Reena wanted in; she was worried about him.
But he didn’t have the energy to drag himself over, and truthfully, he wanted to be alone to wallow in his despair.
He hadn’t finished criticizing himself and calling himself names for being stupid enough to believe he had a chance at something real with a human.
Not just any human, a half-angel. Someone like Chuck.
A police officer, for Hell’s sake. Someone who stood for truth and justice.
Someone who believes right should triumph over wrong and punish evildoers. Like him.
Rolling on his back, he covered his face with his hands and ground the heels of them into his eyes hard to stop the tears that wanted to fall.
Stupid fucking idiot. Abysmal pimple on Satan’s ass.
Mud between Lucifer’s hooves. Wart on Asmodeus’ ball sack.
Worse. So much worse. I deserve everything Hyacinth is going to do to me. And more.
On and on his self-flagellation went until Reena gave up and moved to Chuck’s room.
He heard her soft murmur and sniffling as she closed her door again.
Heaving out a sigh, he strained his ears, tormenting himself, listening to the sounds of her tears.
She’s crying; maybe that means she does still care about me.
Groaning in disgust at how weak and desperate he sounded even to himself, he burrowed under the blanket and put a pillow over his head to muffle the sound.
Stop, she’s crying because you yelled at her, and she didn’t get the last word.
You heard her; she doesn’t think you’re capable of having real feelings. She’s certainly not worried about that.
Finally, he fell into a fitful, restless sleep.